Uh oh, trendy hipster movie alert. Twee darlings Ryan Gosling (Lars and the Painfully Whimsical Script) and Michelle Williams (Dudes Doin' It, Wyoming Edition) are set to costar as wistful lovers in a movie melancholicly titled Blue Valentine. Imagine the twinkly music and the shaky-cam shots of mournful streets blurring into focus and, perhaps, the voiceover! [Variety]

Ohh dear. Are you sitting down? Can I get you some tea? Here, have one of these cookies. OK, hon, I have some bad news. You know how much you wanted David E. Kelley to have a new show about lawyers on TV? And remember how it looked like his Kristin Chenoweth show, delightfully titled Legally Mad, was going to be that show? Well, love, unfortunately... Oh, this is so hard. Wait, what's that? The idea of another one of Kelley's aggressively quirky horrid lawyer shows on the air makes you want to burn the Earth down? Oh, well. Me too. So, fuck it. It didn't get picked up. Neither did Lauren Graham's sitcom. Yeah. Drink? [Variety]

Still have a hankering for the heady days of Hawaii Five-O and Magnum P.I.? You know, butt-kickin' crime-fightin' in the balmy bliss of America's most beautiful colony. Well, Jerry Bruckheimer has heard your late night whimpering and is coming to your aid. His Honolulu set procedural Cooler Kings has been greenlit by A&E. The show is about a group of Igloo salesmen who decide to solve mysteries on their lunch breaks. Right? [Variety]

Speaking of A&E, Kevin Costner would like to take that wolf up on its offer of a second dance and head back into the West...ern genre. He's in talks with the net to produce, definitely, and act in and direct, maybe, something about the post-Civil War wild wild West. Sort of like that TNT series from a while back except, we'd imagine, with less Skeet Ulrich. [THR]

Simon Baker the Mentalist will soon be dealing with a mental case. He's playing a lawyer out to expose Casey Affleck as the small town sheriff turned horrid murderer that he is in Michael Winterbottom's adaptation of Jim Thompson's The Killer Inside Me. The Winterbottom factor makes me intrigued, though the presence of Jessica Alba as a hooker and Kate Hudson as a schoolteacher girlfriend gives me pause. [THR]

Oh, cute. Dermot Mulroney is directing a movie. He was so good on The Practice. [THR]

Four more after the jump!

2. Tuxedo Tee Gos
His choice of formal wear for Half Nelson's Tribeca premiere quickly made the blog rounds, not so much because tuxedo T-shirts sit somewhere between keyboard ties and rainbow suspenders on the wearable-gag evolutionary ladder, but rather because he couldn't even be bothered to spring for the "heavily rhinestoned" design.

3. Three-Piece Plaid Suit Gos
There's got to be a better way to camouflage a few extra pounds than by actually wearing Anthony Hopkins' old suit from 1977, handed down to you in a generational rite of passage on the set of Fracture.

4. Darfur Tee Gos
GAP's short-lived TruCauses™ campaign may have made you feel like you were really giving back when you wore one of their shirts or baseball caps bearing the words "CANCER," "PLANET," "DARFUR," or "FOOD ALLERGIES," but in retrospect the gesture just winds up coming up short.

5. Bear Gos
On second thought, this look works. See—plaid can be thinning if used in moderation!

[Illustration: Bluhm for Naked Eye Magazine]

• Ryan Gosling Has A Big Hole In His T-Shirt [JustJared]

Here are a few reasons why we think his films are so popular:

1.) They're completely unrealistic, and we love it.
Clearly, the main reason women love romance movies is that they are ridiculously far-fetched. Sure, our boyfriends would jump on to a moving ferris wheel a la Ryan Gosling to ask us out on a first date! And pale, feeble, Cross-bearers like Mandy Moore could certainly tame popular cool cats like Shane West in A Walk to Remember in real life. We know it's all bullshit, but a girl can dream.

2.) He gets the right people to play the parts.
Okay, when you were in high school, you totally thought pre-ER bad-boy Shane West was a fine piece. And clearly whoever is casting these things still has the knack for it: Channing Tatum is set to star in the upcoming adaptation of Dear John, and obviously Miley is in demand. Plus, James Franco cameo as Richard Gere's son this weekend? Do us.

3.) True love can survive anything.
Gosling goes off to war. And then McAdams-turned-Gena Rowlands goes totally insane at the end of The Notebook and wanders all over the hospital post-midnight. It looks like the house in Rodanthe is about to rot into a piece of driftwood. Are these obstacles too grand to stop a Sparks plotline? Never! True love prevails over all.

4.) Speaking of houses - the ones in the movies are fucking sweet.
Gosling builds McAdams a house. Like, are you serious? It has a ridic balcony so she can paint fields and rainbows and swans on the lake and shit. And though we haven't seen Rodanthe yet, it has blue shutters and is so close to the water the sand stains the windows. We want to live there.

5.) And finally, even old people can get it on in a Sparks flick.
We weren't totally repulsed when Rowlands and James Garner made out at the end of The Notebook, and that's saying something.

The latest installment also includes Kate Winslet, Denzel Washington, Shenae Grimes, James Cromwell, Kevin Bacon, Kyra Sedgwick, Whitney Port, Anton Yelchin, T.R. Knight and more.

WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 17

I spotted RYAN GOSLING at the Hotel Cafe last week catching a show by singer AUDRA MAE. He was with a bunch of scruffy dudes - sans Rachel McAdams! Ladies, there may still be hope for us all. He looked super thin and was rocking some stubble. Stayed and hung out after the show until some drunk chick vomited all over the bar, at which point he promptly beelined for the door.

THURSDAY, SEPT. 18

Just returned from the new Big Wang's in West Hollywood where KEVIN FEDERLINE was holding court around the pool table. The group that he was with was way too exited to be in a NoHo bar with KFed. Lots of hooting and cheering every time he made a shot.

FRIDAY, SEPT. 19

Saw super talented and delicious HGTV's Next Design Star runner-up MATT LOCKE at the Sound of Music sing-along. Insert joke about hammering hard wood here. Snicker snicker.

I'm walking up Flower street in Downtown LA around noon today walking towards The Standard when all of a sudden TIM GUNN walks out. He looks great, if not incognito. In hindsight I should have asked him to say "holla at ya boy."

Right now. A very blond KATE WINSLET in first-class on AA 180 from LAX to JFK.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 20

I spotted the USS Enterprise crew member ANTON YELCHIN in Van Nuys on Saturday night at a party at Beer City Studios. He was supporting a friend's band on harmonica and guitar. Much later in the evening, he serenaded the remaining party goers with an 8-minute, improvisational story song about his experience with a "MILF."

Also spotted at the party that night was SAM GOLZARI from American Dreamz and 21. He was playing with his band at the party and, needless to say, we were all "Omerized."

While eating excellent pizza at Tomato Pie on Melrose, SHENAE GRIMES from 90210 walked past me twice. Petite, cute and NOT ANOREXIC!!!! no matter what the tabloids or the L.A. Times claim. Five minutes later, same place, spotted JAMES CROMWELL with his wife/girlfriend and an unexpected big smile on his face.

The MTV Awards may be just a memory now, but on Saturday I actually saw JESSE CAMP, live and in person outside of Cheetah’s. He was accompanied by his wife, and looks pretty much exactly the same as when he won that contest years ago.

SUNDAY, SEPT. 21

On Griffith Park Blvd. at the intersection with Los Feliz Blvd. Was waiting for the traffic lights to change, and just glanced in the rear view to check my hotness, and who do I see pulled up to my bumper, baby? None other than delish-o-gay, T.R. KNIGHT. Was at the wheel of his champagne, metallic SUV (not too big). I knew he lived nearby and it was only a matter of time... Was using his cellphone as he drove. Bad man. Needs bottom spanked. Matter of time...

At the Aero Theater for a sneak peek of Choke - LAURA INNES (redhead doc from ER) sat just across the aisle from me — she laughed in all good spots, stayed for the Q&A with director CLARK GREGG, looked nice and normal and had no attitude (unlike some other people who flipped their lids over the no-camera rule); also JON FAVREAU was there to support Gregg — someone asked a question about Iron Man 2 and they had a laugh, Favs hung out for a bit and talked to all sorts of fans who were surprised to see him, another no-attitude celeb.

MONDAY, SEPT. 22

At BLT Steak: WHITNEY PORT and five others sat at the table next to us, which was fine, she's pretty and all and her manager or whatever wasn't too annoying. But, as we were walking out I noticed DENZEL WASHINGTON sitting in a corner. I feel like he smiled at me when I smiled at him. He is way sexy.

Spotted KEVIN BACON and KYRA SEDGWICK in the parking lot at the southwest corner of Ventura and Beverly Glen in Sherman Oaks at noon today. They were walking to their light blue Prius and looked young, cute, and fit. Seriously. At first I thought it couldn't be them, because who is that cute young blonde ponytailed girl? But sure enough, it was Kyra (no mistaking that face). At one point Kevin put his arm around her and they kissed. Genuinely looked like the real deal.

In today's installment: Ryan Seacrest, Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel (twice!), Michael Keaton, Adrian Grenier, Calista Flockhart, Lorne Michaels, John Krasinski, Amanda Bynes, Florence Henderson, Balthazar Getty, Eric Dane, Channing Tatum (twice!), JC Chasez, Katherine McPhee, David Boreanz, Kevin and AJ from the Backstreet Boys, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Kevin Garnett, Sam Cassell, Hailey Duff, Samantha Mathis, Dave Navarro, Wayne Brady, Charlie Day, Mary Elizabeth Ellis and more!

FRIDAY, JULY 11

· CHANNING TATUM at Fitness Factory on Santa Monica and La Peer. Kind of pudgy and looking like an extra from 8 Mile. Don't understand the heartthrob status at all.

· Saw KEVIN RICHARDSON from the Backstreet Boys at Lucky Devils on Hollywood Blvd on Friday night with three blonds and another guy. While eating, AJ from BSB spotted him from the street and came in to say hello. What are the odds? Kevin looked the exact same, AJ was much more bearded than I remember.

SATURDAY, JULY 12

· Saw JOHN KRASINSKI at Animal on Fairfax. He was wearing a ball cap indoors and was very unshaven, like a couple more days and you have to call that thing a beard. I don't think he arrived with anyone and didn't seem like he was particularly chatting up any of the ladies at his table; I think it was a birthday party and he knew one or two people there already.

SUNDAY, JULY 13

· At the Arc Light Sherman Oaks for Wall-E (yes, I like to see all summer movies, but only after waiting a few weeks; an August Dark Knight screening is already planned) when I saw KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR, as did everyone else in a 500-yard radius. Intellectually, I knew that he's over seven feet, but until you see it in person, you just don't know how tall that is. He was friendly and seemed to be chatting with a couple random fans.

· Saw SAMANTHA MATHIS with a friend @ Figaro on Sunday afternoon. So cute with not a drop of makeup on.

MONDAY, JULY 14

· Stopped at a light in Sunset Plaza, glanced to the right and saw JAMES WOODS sitting at an outdoor table at Cafe Med. Unfortunately he was with another guy and not engaged in any provocative James Woods behavior like canoodling with a twentysomething or holding up his I.Q. score or M.I.T. diploma. Rather, he was just behaving like a normal citizen, albeit one who sits where all the tourists, not to mention tetchy locals like me, will spot him.

TUESDAY, JULY 15

· Saw RYAN SEACREST Tuesday night at the Coldplay show. Posed for photos with fans and seemed really nice.

· Almost ran over Punky Brewster (SOLEIL MOON FRYE) and hubby at the Beachwood Market. They were standing in the middle of the street. Girlfriend lost the pregnancy pounds fast.

· Just saw ADRIAN GRENIER making out with some model looking chick outside Joe's in Venice on Abbot Kinney. He had her pushed up against a wall and they were all over each other. Couldn't hear if he asked her if he could F the S out of her, but it kinda looked like he was trying to do that against the building. Even when I yelled "Get a room," Vinnie didn't even look up. I should have sprayed him with a hose......

WEDNESDAY, JULY 16

· Spotted JC CHASEZ at the Grove movie theatre, accompanied by a shorter, Filipino-looking woman, and a little boy who appeared to be her son. JC was sporting a black baseball cap and black shorts, and interacted with the boy in a cute, fun uncle way. He was squatting down so they could chat, and I overheard him telling the kid in a "hey, did you know" type voice, that his friend so-and-so choreographed the dance for (insert nameless piece of children's entertainment that may or may not have impressed the boy). Identity = confirmed. Bonus points for friendly interaction with children.

· While waiting to board my flight back to LA at the Seattle airport on 7/16, I saw CALISTA FLOCKHART with her son getting in line. She was very petite and dressed down for comfort. No sign of Indiana Jones.

THURSDAY, JULY 17

· KATHERINE MCPHEE looking amazingly cute at Fitness Factory. Also, DAVID BOREANZ. Good haircut.

· I saw MICHAEL KEATON chatting and smiling with some hot 40-something blonde while he ate outside at Amelia's on Main in Santa Monica; they seemed friendly and focused on his NY Times. I see him there often and he usually looks old, rundown, and bitter. I was surprised to see him looking fit and kinda hot. Turns out the blonde had two young sons, who were inside, she left once she got her latte, so they weren't together.

· At the Jason Falkner show @ Spaceland, one tall, friendly-eyed RYAN GOSLING. Good taste in music, very good chest.

FRIDAY, JULY 18

· Last night, 7-8 pm, saw CHANNING TATUM with his Personal Trainer at The Fitness Factory in West Hollywood.

· Ballers KEVIN GARNETT and SAM CASSELL scheming on some LA hos at Caffe Primo.

· HAILEY DUFF with a boyfriend (?) waiting for her breakfast at Aroma Cafe in Studio City.

SATURDAY, JULY 19

· AMANDA BYNES having breakfast with two friends at Jumpin' Java in Studio City. Her friends barely got any words in, she didn't stop talking.

· In line at the Arclight, I saw CHARLIE DAY and MARY ELIZABETH ELLIS - aka Charlie and The Waitress from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. A nice culty sighting. I half stepped out of line and went "STOP. I AM A HUGE FAN" much to the confusion of nearby Arclight patrons.

· My friends saw BOB SAGET at GLOW. Hell yeah.

· ERIC DANE and BALTHAZAR GETTY were meeting for a late lunch at King's Road Cafe. Both wearing shades, smoking, talking and looking rather stone-faced. Balt looked over his shoulder a few times, seemed a little paranoid, smoked more than his companion — whose appeal I still don't understand. They left the table at one point to check out the news stand, returned with nothing, and I can only hope that Balt used it as an opportunity to show Eric his latest vacation pics.

· DAVE NAVARRO and two hotties at El Coyote last night for drinks.

SUNDAY, JULY 20

· After the Feist/Sharon Jones show at the Hollywood Bowl, we were delighted to see FLORENCE HENDERSON boarding our shuttle. We tittered too much about this and the two middled aged ladies behind us told us to mind our manners.

· JESSICA BIEL at City Bakery at the Brentwood Country Mart. Looks exactly like any paparazzi picture you've ever seen of her - pulled back hair, no makeup, angular face. She had on sweatpants, gladiator sandals, and the biggest purse I've ever seen in my life. She managed to somehow look sad, pissed, rushed, and confused, all at the same time. Bizarre.

· I was standing in the walkway between the super seats and the boxes at the hollywood bowl for Feist, and who should walk by me but JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE and JESSICA BIEL. Totally incognito. No one recognized them. Instead of turning to go down to the boxes, they turned up and walked about halfway up into the H section, scooted by everyone in their row, and sat down quietly. Totally normal people. It was kinda cool.

MONDAY, JULY 21

· LORNE MICHAELS enjoying a sandwich and fries at Campanile with Paramount's JOHN LESHER and some dude today. Bit of a belly on the Lornester. Lesher was rocking the Homer Simpson short-sleeves w/ tie look. Pasty white arms.

· WAYNE BRADY at Coldstone Creamery in Sherman Oaks.

NOT DATED

· ROMA MAFFIA (Dr. Liz from Nip/Tuck) in line at the Silver Lake Gelson's on a weekday afternoon, first week of July. Looked pleasant with a peaceful smile on her face, more vibrant than she appears on tv. Could have been the lipstick talking, as her make-up was more noticeable than what ladies typically wear for a midday trip to the grocery store.

[Photo Credit: Film Magic]

boomp3.com



Indie film star Ryan Gosling attempted to maintain a low profile while in the trendy Nolita neighborhood of New York City over the weekend. To maintain a low profile, Gosling has been sitting real still in the more hipper parts of New York City. Gosling believed that if he stays real still while dressed in a fairly ironic manner, he could pass as off another cool New Yorker, not that guy from The Notebook (or, worse, Murder By Numbers). Gosling hoped that people would think he's a painter or maybe even a musician.

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Facts of Life, 1979-88: The Eastland School
With character names like Tootie, Blair and Sue Ann, a token Poor But Smart Black Student from the Bronx, and plot lines involving housemothers dishing out advice to sex-crazed pre-teens and spoiled kids from New York, NBC’s spin-off of Diff’rent Strokes actually portrayed life at boarding school as close to reality as we’ve seen on television. Especially considering the long-running show’s depiction of various characters’ adult lives in the final season: one ends up in New York banging a guy named Snake, and another is banging a “musician” named Rick. If boarding school teaches girls one thing, it’s that pansy pop-collared preppy boys do not a proper sex life make.

Zoey 101, 2005-present: Pacific Coast Academy
Possibly the most off-the-mark vision of boarding school ever portrayed on TV, the Juno Lynn Spears-starring, California-set Nickelodeon “comedy” gets it wrong in oh so many ways, and allow us to count just a few samples: boarding school girls do not have trashy highlights, boarding school boys do not wear muscle tees, boarding school kids pop Adderall and fly cocaine in using their dad’s private jet rather than sipping “energy drinks” for adrenaline, and most importantly, boarding school is not “funny.”

Breaker High, 1998-99: Breaker High
Oh dear. Falling somewhere in between Facts and Zoey, this UPN bomb took place on, yes, a cruise ship. What sounds like one idiotic producer's idea to use this format in order to implement exotic locales and the darndest things foreigners say is simply, just...no. But! In one episode, all the classmates get Hepatitis-A. This sounds right — STDs and illnesses both expertly faked or intentionally caused in order to skip class and sleep off hangovers at the infirmary is pretty rampant at the real deals. Plus, Ryan Gosling was in it! As a “missing member of the brat pack” who conned bitchy girls! Far too many of these exist from Andover to Exeter and every country club campus in between.

[Photo credits: TV.com, Nick.com, Fortune City]

• 'GOSSIP GIRL' PRODUCERS EYE SPIN-OFF [THR]

Playing a prisoner of war in last year's critically acclaimed Rescue Dawn meant Steve Zahn, until then just another token funny buddy actor, was forced to lose 40 pounds on a diet of vegetables and nuts. As he put it, "I never cheated but it was tough - I'm a meat and potatoes kind of guy." As for Renee Zellweger, earning Oscar noms for both Chicago and Cold Mountain meant losing twice that much: "I lost 80 pounds for those two roles...my tits disappeared so I had to stuff socks into my bra cup!.” And Matt Damon lost 30 to play the nerdy swindler star of 1999's bold-faced name-packed but Oscarless update of The Talented Mr. Ripley.

As a crack addict with a heart of gold in Half Nelson, Ryan Gosling went from Rachel McAdams' cute boyfriend to Oscar nominee by transforming into a gaunt tweaker. But of course, the most frightening metamorphosis of all time has got to be Christian Bale's unrecognizable appearance in The Machinist, a role which earned him just as many rave reviews as it did health problems. As Bale put it, going from 180 pounds to 120 caused "a massive shock to my body because of what I was trying to get it to do...My metabolism had to get back up to speed, because my heart had got used to a whole different way of living for some time."

• FARRELL GOES FROM TRIM TO THIN [The Sun]

[Photo credits: Splash, Getty, The Superficial, Pop On The Hop, Hollywood Rag, Wireimage]

• FULL DISCLOSURE [NYDN]

Sources say Dunst...has been schlepping her All Good Things co-star, Ryan Gosling, to 12-step meetings.

It seems Kirsten's stint in rehab hasn't done much to improve her longtime habit of appearing in public looking like a combination of Maggie Gyllenhaal in Sherrybaby and a skinnier version of Charlize Theron in Monster. According to another NYP source who recently saw the actress at a restaurant in New York, "She looked like crap, had greasy hair and kept wiping her nose with a Kleenex" [Ed. Note - What's wrong with Kleenex? Would they have preferred her to use her shirt sleeve?]. And as we can see in the photos above from last year, it sounds like Dunst's junkie aesthetic hasn't gone away quite yet. Perhaps the next time she drags Gosling along to another AA meeting, he might suggest adding a 13th step to her personal program: stepping into the shower.

[Photo credits: Getty, Splash]

• DUNST TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT [NY Post]

We don't think we're the only ones who officially joined Team Gosling after his insanely loveable crackhead performance in Half Nelson, as opposed to his gooey Notebook role. And with Dunst and her hard-partying rep on his arm, we're gleefully reminded once again of Gosling's cinematic darker side. But Gosling wouldn't be the only benefactor should this sighting turn into a full-fledged fling. Gosling rarely makes an appearance in the tabloids or the clubs, so his mellow off-screen persona might help Dunst steer clear of the inevitable relapse stories. Whether or not this is just a case of stunt relationship casting, we're still giving the pair our nod of approval.

• LUNCH DATE [NY Post]

Here, we present the choices on Us' list which we happen to agree with; these guys either went a teensy bit overboard over the holidays or, in Tom Cruise's case, simply haven't been following L. Ron Hubbard's highly scientific detox plan:

Tom Cruise, then and now:

Clay Aiken, then and now:

Val Kilmer, then and now:

Alec Baldwin, then and now:

But! We happen to find these so-called "chunks" far finer now that they've gone from stick-thin, skinny-jeans-wearing hipster wannabes to, well, the closest they're capable of coming to looking like a Man:

Ryan Gosling, then and now:

Adrien Grenier, then and now:

John Travolta, a controversial decision for sure, but we think Now is preferable if only for the absence of that horrendous hairpiece:

[Photo Credits: Wireimage, Getty, Pacific Coast News, INFPhoto, Retna, Bauer-Griffin]

• FROM HUNK TO CHUNK [Us]

In today's episode: Kiefer Sutherland; Clint Eastwood and Zooey Deschanel; Ryan Gosling; Hilary Swank; Orlando Bloom; Shia LaBeouf; Jason Schwartzman; Laurence Fishburne; Adrian Grenier; Sarah Michelle Gellar; Christina Applegate; Wentworth Miller; Justin Chambers; Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani; Bradley Cooper; T.R. Knight; Tom Verica; Danny Bonaduce; John Hensley; and Danny Pintauro.

· Tues. 1/22, at Vermont in Los Feliz. KIEFER. Freshly sprung, and looking none the worse for all of that laundry duty. He was enjoying an early and relatively sedate dinner with a group of mostly male friends. Well-rested, clean-shaven, non-drinking. What is the world coming to?

· At the Whole Foods on Sepulveda in Sherman Oaks. I was checking out at the register and felt the customer behind me breathing down my neck. I turned to tell him to get out of my personal space when I realized that it was Ed Begley Jr. . That's a lame sighting but moments later he turned to say hello to a passing customer and it was no other than Clint F'n Eastwood. Clint looking good though the sweat pants were up a little high.

· I found myself at the Studio City In-N-Out for lunch today. As I'm getting in line, I spot Ryan Gosling sitting to the left eating a double-double. No, it wasn't protein style. I couldn't tell if he was eating fries, so I couldn't tell you if he's counting carbs. He was scruffy, wearing the non-working actor uniform of a flannel over a wife beater. His lunch date was a normal looking girl- I mean that as a compliment- she wasn't a Hollywood skank or looking like Ryan's fellow ex-Mickey Mouse Clubber Britney. He did most of the talking. An old man wished him luck on an Oscar win. I heard a few girls- they weren't really sure if it was him or not. He wasn't recognizable to most people in the joint. As I ate my double-double, I thought to myself- Brad Renfro and Ryan Gosling- 2 former kid actors , 1 dead, 1 a great actor. Ryan and the lady drove off in her red Chevy Cobalt sedan with Massachusetts plates. LA is great- A double-double is a double-double whether I'm eating it or Ryan Gosling's eating the same hamburger- doesn't matter if you're a movie star or a schlub like me- a double-double is still a double-double. (apologies to Warhol)

· While waiting in the Seattle airport for a return flight to LA last night (1/24), I noticed a pair of super cool boots in the crowd. When I looked up, I realized that they were attached to Hilary Swank. She is much more petite than I had expected and looked great without makeup or fancy clothes.

· Orlando Bloom at the 101 Coffee Shop this morning around 11 am with a few people. He was sitting at a booth facing the crowd - I love when celebs love being seen. No hiding here! Some chicks were chatting him up from the counter.

· 1/23 - On Wednesday morning, Shia LaBeouf stopped into Aroma in Studio City for a coffee. He looked freshly showered with his curly hair slicked back, and he was wearing a plaid shirt, jeans and sneakers in a retro way without looking like he's trying too hard. Nice.

· Sunday 1-20 at the Fairfax Whole Foods:

Almost collided into Zooey Deschanel in the cosmetics aisle. Very cute despite the Frumpy Boho look.

Then while perusing the soups in the deli section, a small group of small hipsters hailing each other. One of them was Jason Schwartzman looking like a hirsute elf. At the check out, my cashier asked his bagger if that was he, I nodded yes, then (the cashier) proceeded to tell everyone around him that it was Jason. The checker must have just moved to L.A., to be so starstruck. But then when I first moved to L.A., I was pretty excited over Loni Anderson.

· Met my best pal for breakfast today (Thursday, 1/24) at the S&W Country Diner in Culver City when who walks in and perches himself in the cramped corner of the counter by Laurence "Don't call me Larry" Fishburne. He wore a cloth golf jacket that would've looked good on a 74-year-old duffer at Hillcrest Country Club. Spent the whole time chatting on his cell, via a bluetooth. Dude looks completely ordinary in person.

· At the Coffee Table in Silver Lake today (1/15) and saw a scruffy, familiar face. Thought I knew him from some 12-step meetings or somewhere, but then realized it was Adrian Grenier from "Entourage". He was with a pretty blonde girl with indie-rock bangs who at one point was definitely crying. Thought he might be breaking her heart, but later she was smiling, so my friend and I figured it was more like her bird died or something. Oh, and last thing: I nominate Adrian for the new Kiefer. Not for debauchery, but for his Eastside ubiquitousness.

· January 15th at Hollywood hot spot Crimson. Sarah Michelle Gellar all decked out in a beautiful blue dress hanging out in the outside patio enjoying a cigarette with some other beautiful people in her party. Looked like they were celebrating something.

· Thursday, January 24, 4:40-ish

Christina Applegate looking very sad at the 7-11 on the corner of Holloway and La Cienega. Maybe it's because I got the last 1/4 pound Big Bite.

· 1/18/08- Perusing the aisles of dusty overpriced tchochkes in Pasadena's Camden Antiques, I looked up to see Prison Break's Wentworth Miller wandering about. Gay? Straight? Who cares. They guy is smokin' and the only desirable object I wanted to take home.

· saw the ridiculously hot JUSTIN CHAMBERS aka DR. KAREV on GREY'S ANATOMY, yesterday 1/21, on Little Santa Monica. he was walking by Sprinkles Cupcakes, wearing dark brown leather pants (in broad daylight? really?) and movie star sunglasses. he was carrying a pink Juicy Couture shopping bag.

if he wasn't so hot, i'd say he looked a little 'McDouche-y'.

· I spotted Gavin Rossdale, Gwen Stefani, and their monkey child at the Hollywood farmer's market this past Sunday. Ridiculously good looking family. Gavin is extremely fuckable in person.

· Bradley Cooper at Hal's at Friday lunch, 1-18-08. JFC. I need lube, now.

· t.r. knight (flocked by 4 very attractive men) at the 4:10 arclight showing of 27 dresses on saturday, 1/19. how cute, supporting the friend. but the movie wasn't that good to see it 2x so does that mean he wasn't invited to the premiere? scandalous.

· Jan 21 - Southwest Flight this morning to Salt Lake City saw Tom Verica. Had glasses (for reading, not for the sun), baseball cap and an iPhone. My kind of man.

· Monday, Jan 14th, Rock n' Roll Ralphs. Danny Bonaduce walked in front of my car, trying desperately to get away from a really pissed off dark-haired lass. I wish I could have stayed for the obviously brewing fight, but the line of cars behind me would not allow it. I haven't seen him since the late eighties, outside a valley bar where he—dressed in full leathers— solemnly mounted a moped and scootered off into the night. Classy.

· just saw matt (John Hensley) getting off a virgin america flight at lax (1/17) while i wait to board the same plane. he's way less tranny looking in person

· Weekend of fun gays — Danny Pintauro (Jonathan from Who's The Boss!!) at Friday night showing of 27 Dresses at Century City. Tiny, plaid shirt, screamed a lot. Also of note, someone totally puked at the Cloverfield showing that afternoon at The Grove. Yay?

To play herself, Love reportedly chose Scarlett Johansson: While The Nanny Diaries star most certainly has the musical chops, having performed to sell-out Coachella crowds as The Jesus and Mary Chain's "Just Like Honey"-repeating girl, we're not entirely convinced the pouty-lipped ingenue would be able to accurately capture the troubled rocker's wildly modifying looks, or successfully tap the far, demon-prowled reaches of her psyche. Still, Johansson has always been one to rise to the occasion, and should she nail the pivotal scene in which she is called upon to lift her shirt so an unidentified Wendy's patron (Don Cheadle) can suckle on a single bazoombah, this might finally be the project that spells Oscar for the always in-demand actress.

• Courtney Love chooses actor to play Kurt Cobain [NME]

THOSE old "creative differences" are to blame for director Peter Jackson's firing of Ryan Gosling from "Lovely Bones." "Peter couldn't stand Ryan," said one source.

Though Variety reported that Gosling had "stepped down" and was replaced by Mark Wahlberg, our source said, "Ryan cut his own hair, and was fighting with wardrobe. He was so demanding . . . Peter booted him two days before filming started." The flick is based on the best-selling novel by Alice Sebold. A rep for Gosling did not return calls.

Given that Jackson, the veteran director of feature films that have grossed more than a billion dollars domestically, surely realizes that the price of working with Genius involves tolerating the talent's occasional behavioral quirks and would be unfazed by matters as trivial as those mentioned above (or the weight gain referenced in Variety), we're inclined to speculate that Gosling's on-set behavior was considerably more unconventional than reported. Perhaps the notoriously intense actor insisted on preparing for his most heart-wrenching scenes by laying down in a pile of bones he claimed were those of a murdered teenage girl, a pre-performance ritual that he considered indispensable to meeting the emotional demands of his role, but which understandably made the crew uneasy. Happily, however, Jackson should have a more docile collaborator in replacement Mark Wahlberg, whose needs should prove no more onerous than requesting that no one knock on his trailer door as he performs the six-hundred crunches that comprise his daily acting prep.

• Last-minute Ax [Page Six]

· Mining their considerable experience in the area, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are producing an HBO drama series about humanitarian workers in dangerous places, the politics of international aid organizations, and the lives of the children who go uncollected by famous U.N. Goodwill Ambassadors because of Third World orphanages' maddening "one adoption per Hollywood couple per trip" policies. [THR]
· Francis Ford Coppola's Youth Without Youth debuts to mixed reaction at the Rome Film Festival. [Variety]

How do you market a wholesome, old-fashioned film about a churchgoer who falls in love with his sex doll? Grassroots screenings with religious groups, maybe?

SKE plans more than 100 promo screenings by the time the film goes wide including, yes, outreach to church leaders. "We've found an enormous response from mainstream Christian groups," says Ray. "Some pastors may discuss the film as part of their sermons."

There's nothing very prurient in the film, which earned a PG-13 for "some sex-related content." Lars and Bianca sleep in separate houses. There's a discreet bathing scene where Bianca's potential in-laws bathe her, but while some silicone is exposed, her anatomical correctness is never shown.

How every parish chooses to approach the delicate topic of Lars and his fully bendable companion is of course up to the discretion of the clergy. While a policy of honesty might seem the Christian way, they may find the movie's sensitive depiction of the Real Girl—modestly dressed, respectfully silent during sermons, and willing to stand for 4 hours at the bake sale table without taking even one bathroom break—might lead them to take up a collection for a Real Girl to call their own.

• Selling of a sex doll 'Lars' calls his own [THR]

Sheen also knows something about this subject. A few years back, we're told, he bought a $6,000 anatomically correct latex girl dressed in a cheerleader's outfit. According to an insider, Sheen was quite open about the doll — even bringing it to the set of his old show "Spin City."

But then came the night when, according to our source, Sheen tried to get two female party companions interested in a foursome with the bouncy cheerleader.

"They couldn't stop laughing at him," says the snitch. "Charlie got so mad that he ran the girls out of his house. Then he took a meat cleaver and chopped one of the doll's hands off. He and his bodyguard tried to dispose of it, like it was a real body. They wrapped it in a blanket and drove around in the middle of the night till they found a Dumpster."

It's impossible not to compare Sheen's story to the upcoming Ryan Gosling vehicle Lars and the Real Girl; unfortunately for the actor's dead-eyed, pigtailed companion, however, his cold-hearted friends refused to come together and treat his doll like a member of their family to help him through his emotional crisis, instead making him feel ashamed of his new girlfriend. But Sheen's tale is not completely devoid of uplift; in the end, he did learn he could depend on them to help him dispose of the body when he figured out the relationship didn't have long-term potential.

• Charlie Sheen mines own scandalous past for humor [Rush & Molloy]
• Previously: Charlie Sheen Hate E-Mails To Denise Richards Reveal A Fondness For Words 'Jobless' and 'Pig' [Defamer]