Brolin was at the Palm Springs Film Festival last night, where he attended yet another fete honoring Sean Penn's performance in Milk. Sadly not invited to encore the tipsy range of fraternal sensitivity — with Penn on the "amazing" end and Crowe on the "asshole" extreme — reporters instead cornered Brolin offstage for a clarification:

Realizing he shouldn't have joked like that about a respected actor, Brolin later blamed it on the booze. He admitted to the film critics audience that he'd been drinking earlier that night. [...] Brolin was on his best behavior last night. When asked about the Crowe comment, Brolin told reporters, "It was the ambiance of the room. I love him. I think he’s amazing. He’s a friend. I was bummed out when I saw that today."

Maybe it was ambiance, maybe it was six or seven glasses of ambiance, we'll never know. But to the uncanny extent Brolin could channel that ambiance for his aggrieved character in Milk ("I'm Dan White! I have issues! *burp*"), we'll take his word for it. This man is a professional.

• Josh Brolin Regrets Russell Crowe Comments [Hollyscoop]

We're just glad to hear it's still technically alive after months' worth of starts and stops, but never more glad than we were this morning to hear that the behind-the-scenes drama has achieved thrilling new levels of acrimony. Reports today have Universal and Imagine eyeing a March starting date for the revisionist Robin Hood drama, if only long-time collaborators Crowe and Scott were getting along:

Sources say Crowe blames Scott for the disastrous drubbing their fourth collaboration, Body of Lies, received from critics and at the box office last summer, and no longer wants to work with the British director.

"Ridley is the only one who is willing to stand up to Russell and tell him he's too fat and that he can't show up four hours late to the set," said one source. "He [Russell] wants someone he can control."

The actor and director share an agent at William Morris, a representative for whom denied any such edicts or prerequisites for Crowe, who hasn't had a hit with Scott since Gladiator in 2000. But it would seem a reasonable split under the circumstances, with Crowe already having succumbed to Imagine's trainer-to-the-stars and Scott surely having better things to do than bump around the forest for two months with a drama magnet who can't even open a movie. But enough about Sienna Miller. Maybe it is time for a change after all; Ron Howard seems a close, innocuous friend of all involved, with friendlier, Cinderella Man-era euphemisms like, "Let's do that one again, but slimmer" and, "Rice cake, Russell — I mean, nice take, Russell" coaxed Crowe into fighting trim without the old-school taskmastering.

• DIRECTOR STRESSES OUT CROWE [NYP]

Warners may be the only studio that hasn't yet had its big Iraq-themed clusterfuck; that time appears to have arrived. (Its defunct subsidiary Warner Independent bungled the underrated In the Valley of Elah to a $1.5 million wide release last September, just one of the misfires that cost the mini-major its life.) Universal only opened with $17.1 million for last year's The Kingdom, and Paramount saw Stop-Loss die quickly this past spring, earning almost half of its $11 million total gross in the first week of release. So if Iraq and the war on terror aren't over yet as Hollywood themes, they probably will be when Monday rolls around.

Critics aren't digging it either, but maybe even more importantly: Has Leonardo DiCaprio ever seemed more out-of-place than the Body trailers and TV spots?

It's worse than Blood Diamond, and we're facing it again with the upcoming Revolutionary Road. Audiences see more punchline than pedigree. From Warners to the White House, would you really entrust any matter of national security to this man? We'll have our own bold, pinpoint predictions about Body's fate in tomorrow's Defamer Attractions column, but for now, better safe than sorry, Warners: Watch out for chihuahuas.

Boomp3.com

At the premiere of Body Of Lies, Russell Crowe was shocked to hear that one of the reporters on the red carpet was not a fan of cheese. The rough and tumble Aussie actor couldn’t believe that the reporter did not enjoy one of the finest things in life. Crowe said, “Perhaps, this woman has been given the wrong cheese and maybe I’m the person to teach her about the ways of proper cheese consumption. I love CHEESE! Give me a nice slice of Havarti and a beautiful Bordeaux and I’m as tame as a baby kitten.”

[Photo Credit: WENN]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Hip Hop aficionado and dolphin short enthusiast Russell Crowe took to the rough and tumble streets of Beverly Hills to pick up the latest mix CD from his favorite rapper, Supa Soaker. The Body Of Lies star asked Supa Soaker if he sells his mix tapes and CDs on line as a direct digital download. Crowe believed it would increase Soaker’s audience and it would be a lot easier to put onto his iPod. Crowe said, “Mr. Soaker and myself know that Beverly Hills is full of hardcore hip hop fans, but I believe he’s limiting his commercial appeal by focusing primarily in this area. Now, if he was on MySpace or the Friend Book, he might have more fans.”

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

"It was eight years ago, and I find it unbelievable that Meg continues publicly to rehash and rewrite the story of our relationship," the actor tells us exclusively. "Also, I find it regrettable that our son, Jack, has to be reminded in a public way of the turmoil and pain that every child feels in a divorce."

Quaid, who went on to marry real estate agent Kimberly Buffington and have twins last November, adds: "I, myself, moved on years ago and am fortunate to have a happy, beautiful family."

Why, is that a thinly veiled shot at Meg and her lovely adopted daughter, Oprah Winfrey Ryan? Be careful, Dennis: you can shut her down in the press all you want, but Meg Ryan will never be afraid to give you some lip (after all, she's got plenty to spare).

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Dennis Quaid says Meg Ryan's beef over divorce is 'unbelievable' [NY Daily News]

But she tells the new issue of InStyle (excerpted by Entertainment Tonight), "Dennis was not faithful to me for a very long time, and that was very painful.

"I found out more about that after I was divorced," she adds.

Of Crowe, she says: “I think he took a big hit. But Russell didn’t break up the marriage. He was definitely there at the end, but it wasn’t his fault. I was a mess. I hurt him too at the end. I couldn’t be in another long relationship, it wasn’t the time for that. So I got out.”

She continues, "My time as a scarlet woman was really interesting. As painful as it was, it was also incredible liberating. Now I was utterly free. I didn’t have to care about what people thought."

Now that Ryan has injected life into a long-dormant story with these new, lip-smacking details, we await rebuttals from Quaid and Crowe. In the meantime, like something that was once thin that has become surprisingly full, our impression of Ryan has expanded to include these new revelations. Who knew that America's Sweetheart could OH MY GOD MEG STOP. STOP DOING THAT TO YOUR LIPS. JUST STOP, PLEASE. LOVE, DEFAMER.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Meg Ryan: Dennis Quaid "Not Faithful to Me for a Very Long Time" [Us]

Boomp3.com

Master thespian Russell Crowe took to the mean streets of Sydney to research for his latest role: Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute. The exhaustive research Crowe routinely performs for his role has become a therapeutic process for the actor but, for this part, it's also a lot of fun. Crowe said, "I just get to hang out on the corner in the fresh air and putting my finger firmly on the pulse of the city. Sydney is definitely a city of Lil' Wayne fans and people who don't have the good taste to stop when they see a fine piece like me on the street." Crowe then went to great lengths to make the comparison between the constant feelings of rejection that actors and streetwalkers both face. Crowe said, "You have to the thickest skin around to make it in both of these industries, I'll tell you that much."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Keep in mind this is the same script Universal bought more than a year ago for seven figures, piling on none-too-cheap rewrites by Brian Helgeland and now, according to Patrick Goldstein, British playwright Paul Webb. But that's the least of his problems, said Uni chair Marc Shmuger:

The original script had enormous appeal because it had what Hollywood craves—a great part for a big movie star. But it wasn't exactly the kind of character Scott imagined for his vision of Sherwood Forest. "The script had the sheriff of Nottingham as a CSI-style forensics investigator, set in medieval times," Shmuger explains. "It was really well written, but Ridley's interest took him in a different direction." ...

The delay could help on one front. Crowe, who has looked, shall we say, like he's been feasting on the king's venison in recent films, needs to lose some weight before he's ready to play such an athletic part. (After all, he's not playing Friar Tuck in this movie.) As encouragement, the production team plans to send Joe Abunassar, a top Las Vegas-based trainer who works with NBA stars, to Australia to get Crowe into fighting shape.

So old-fashioned! Everyone knows the Seth Rogen Stretch-and-Retch is the wave of the future. In any event, Shmuger confirms the studio still wants Nottingham, but all signs point to a mid- to late-2009 shoot for a 2010 release, which we take to mean that the U and Nottingham producer Brian Grazer should default to Ron Howard by the time you finish reading this. Alas, Ridley, you were close.

• 'Nottingham': Will Russell Crowe ever romp in Sherwood Forest? [LAT]

"I just found out," Miller, 26, tells the BBC. "It's the most exciting news in the world."

This isn't any old Robin romp: This time in Sherwood Forrest, the usually villainous sheriff is due to be portrayed as heroic, while Robin - traditionally known for nobly stealing from the rich to give to the poor - is not. ...

Casting for the Hood has yet to be announced.

We were under the impression that "revisionist" simply meant Grazer and Scott may splurge on a dialect coach for this version, thus avoiding the dodgy English accents that torpedoed Kevin Costner's mullet-hero stab at Robin Hood in 1992. Instead, look for the crafty filmmaker circumvent both the old myth and a near-certain SAG-strike hangover by simply hiring Denzel Washington, tweaking a few lines from the American Gangster script, jamming everyone in the forest for eight weeks and letting the testosterone do the rest. He's not Ridley Scott for nothing.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• Sienna Miller to Star in New Twist on Robin Hood [People]

"I thought there was a seven-second delay," Rivers told MediaGuardian.co.uk. "They earlier showed a picture of a man with an obvious erection under his coat so I thought it would be all right."

"I have won an Emmy, been nominated for a Tony award, done every show and become an icon and when people ask me what is left in my career I have always said I don't know, but I have never been forcibly thrown out of a TV studio. It is another milestone," she added.

However, Rivers said she would still appear on the show again. "In a second. But they didn't give me my goody bag, which I am very upset about," she added.

The full, uncensored outburst is above. (We also enjoyed the nervous denouement, particularly when one co-host awkwardly attempts to move things along to the next topic.) And while Rivers expressed incredulity that the comments elicited hundreds of angry complaints from viewers, when she was shown one e-mail from a mother-of-three from Leeds who was "gob-smacked when that gormless woofter Rivers whinged with 'er grotty loo-mouth on me telly!" she realized just how easily offended they can be on the other side of the pond.

• Joan Rivers thrown off Loose Women for Russell Crowe outburst [Guardian]

Meg Ryan appeared on the special issue's third cover, following Jodie Foster and Cindy Crawford, in 1994. Happily married to Dennis Quaid and still enjoying that whole America's Sweetheart phase, Ryan was a natural choice. But as we all know, five years later Ryan entered an affair with Proof Of Life co-star Russell Crowe, which led to divorce, trout pout and making dirty movies. Oops. As for Mel Gibson, People's 1996 cover star, beauty gradually descended into bigotry and all kinds of sugar tit-laden anti-Semitic madness we just don't even feel like discussing in detail at the moment.

The very next year, none other than Tom Cruise and his uber-serious mug graced the cover. Officially adored by the world after appearing in Jerry Maguire the year before, Cruise was still married to Nicole and every woman in the country felt that Cruise truly "completed" them. But after hiring a divorce lawyer, a beard (in the form of Penelope Cruz), and a new wife, Cruise's beauty is now only recognized by those with OT-V clearance and above. And finally, 2004's issue featured a blissfully married Jennifer Aniston, who sadly spent most of her interview "laugh[ing] off speculation of then-husband Brad Pitt's rumored romance with Mr. & Mrs. Smith costar Angelina Jolie." Again, oops.

[Photo credits: People.com]

• KATE HUDSON IS PEOPLE'S MOST BEAUTIFUL COVER GIRL [People]

boomp3.com

Academy Award winner Russell Crowe decided to turn the tables on the paparazzi Tuesday afternoon after years of being on the other side of the camera. Yet after taking a few pictures of the dudes from TMZ and X17, Crowe became bored. That is, until Hills stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt walked by and joined in on the snap session. After the demonic reality stars disappeared into a store, Crowe told one of his fellow photographers that he hadn't felt this alive since the birth of his children and now understands why they spend all those long nights in garbage dumps.

[Photo Credit: X17]

In today's installment: Russell Crowe, Drew Barrymore, Kiefer Sutherland, Teri Hatcher, Matthew Perry, Chris "Mr. Big" Noth, Chrissie Hynde, Jemaine "Flight Of The Conchords" Clement, Mindy Kaling, Samantha Mathis (with Keith Carradine!), Werner Herzog, Dax Shepard (with Bradley Cooper!), Cedric Yarbrough and Professor Cornell West.

APRIL 10
· Another Matthew Perry Trivia sighting at Barney's Beanery in Pasadena on Thursday. His team of 4, "Dos Dedos", only contained one dressed-up young lady this time, and most likely took first right in front of the antagonistically-named "Bing's Bingers". I say "most likely" because I left before they announced my losing score...

APRIL 11
· Standing in line with all the middle aged punkers at the X reunion show at the Henry Fonda Theatre was Chrissie Hynde...She looked great and didn't look like she's had any work done...couldn't believe she had to wait in line with the rest of us!

APRIL 12
· Drew Barrymore was at the Derby Dolls roller derby on Saturday night April 12th. Here is some photographic evidence.

· I was having lunch at Cafe '50's in Sherman Oaks around 1pm. I couldn't help but notice that every 10 minutes or so, a group of girls ages 7-12 (?) wearing colored bandanas (different colored than the last group, not different colored from each other) with an assigned parent or guardian would come in and have their photo taken by the jukebox (I heard one mother saying it was a scavenger hunt). After 2 or so waves of bandana-wearing tots, Teri Hatcher came in leading the Pink Bandana group. She wasn't wearing much makeup and politely asked for the someone to take the group's photo (that's a switch) by the jukebox. Then they were off, presumably to find 12 bottlecaps or some such that was next on the scavenger list.

APRIL 13
· Russell Crowe with his wife and boys strolling around the Century City mall on Sunday afternoon. They looked like every other family suffering from heat exhaustion.

· Mindy Kaling from The Office having a brunch at Joan's on Third. Met up with some (nonfamous) friends, looked cute and casual, drives an adorable Mini Cooper.

APRIL 14
· Samantha Mathis and Keith Carradine (don't think they were together but stranger pairings have happened in this town) at the Arclight on Monday night. I assume they were there for the special screening that little me wasn't invited to because I didn't see them at my screening of The Visitor. Just before the movie, as I was exiting the ladies room I passed Carradine entering the men's room undoing his pants several feet before the doorway. Note to guys: ick.

· Today at approx. 5:00 PM at the Starbucks in Dana Point, Chris Noth and his girlfriend walked into my Starbucks and ordered a drink. Chris ordered a Chai Tea Latte and his girlfriend had a chop chop pasta salad. They were not with the baby. His girlfriend seemed very very nice. She actually asked for a fork from me and I told her where they were but we were out so I went to the back to get some and brought back one to her and handed it to her and she said thank you and was very nice about it. However, Chris was sort of a dick. Not really a dick to me but a total dick to his girlfriend. Anyways, I thought this was a notable celebrity sighting..

APRIL 16
· could have sworn i saw Jack Bauer at Dan's Subs in the Valley. He even had the arm tats, looked great clean shaven ...he was not with the woman from ny. He had his arm wrapped around a different raven haven hair chic. Much more busty and shorter. at one point he called her Janet (or maybe Janice). He was very happy and relaxed.

· Today at the Koo Koo Roo on Wilshire I saw Cedric Yarbrough, Jonesie from Reno 911. He was hanging out by himself eating lunch listening to something on his earphones. I don't want to say anything bad about him being there or being lame or anything like that because I LOVE Reno 911 and my boyfriend doesn't, so there.

· Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords waiting to cross Los Feliz Boulevard at Hillhurst. Had to look twice because, although that block of the street is not so lousy with hipsters, Clement was blending in with his surroundings. Is he staying in one of the big-ass apartment buildings on the north side of Los Feliz?

APRIL 17
· Saw Werner Herzog at Hollywood Video on Westwood Blvd. ask the clerk if they had a used copy of 'Jungle 2 Jungle' on VHS. [Ed. Note - Really?]

APRIL 18
· Odd couple Dax Shepard & Bradley Cooper (Nip/Tuck, Wedding Crashers) at Katsuya in Studio City.

APRIL 19
· Toast on 3rd Street, today. Was putting my name on the host's list, when I saw an older man in a black suit out of the corner of my eye. I told my friend, "Huh, that orthodox dude looks like Cornell West." And It WAS Cornell West! He was having lunch with a more casually attired Tavis Smiley. The PBS whore in me was totally freaking out.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

If you saw the preview for The Insider, you pretty much know what most of Body of Lies will be like. It's men under intense pressure shouting at each other over cell phones, usually beginning their speeches with some variant on "Don't fuck with me!" Russell Crowe smugly lectures Leo for most of the movie in speeches like this: "This is the New Model Al Quaeda. [sic] These are the new evolved analog cockroaches. They got in place and waited. This is war. This is not Osama got Lucky on his flying fucking carpet."

The testoster-ensemble is mitigated by agent DiCaprio's naggingly "nymphomaniac" wife back in the States (played by Black Book siren Carice van Houten) and a mysterious "French aid worker" whose vagina apparently doubles as a launching pad for Leo's tender character arc. And while we've stood by Scott through even his most banal transgressions (this story kind of reminds us of Legend, in fact, but without the unicorn), we're a bit nervous about the 70-year-old's chances of finally breaking his awards-season drought with what amounts to a well-tailored Departed Redux. Worse yet, we expect most viewers would agree that the world needs another war-on-terror film like we need Dune re-made by Peter Berg. Wait, what's that? Oh, fuck.

[Photo Credit: Estrenoblog]

• Advance Script Review: Body of Lies [CC2K]

5. Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett: After only three weeks of courtship following their first meeting on the set of The Player, the crooner managed to tie the knot with the Pretty Woman. But all the flack Julia received for falling in the sack with such an odd-looking, unknown duck wasn't the least bit worth it; their 1993 wedding turned into a 1995 separation, leaving Jules looking just this side of desperate.

4. Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn: Speaking of desperate, the weeklies' favorite pity princess was still grieving or whatever over the loss of Brad to Angelina, and her are-they-or-aren't-they "relationship" with Vince Vaughn on the set of The Breakup just made her look even more pity-worthy after Vaughn's repetitive, close-to-insulting denials to the press.

3. Angelina Jolie and Billy-Bob Thornton: Embarrassing enough as it is to get dumped by someone like Billy Bob, it was his alleged reasoning that made this breakup particularly gruesome. According to countless reports, Thornton just didn't feel like being a dad to Angie's little bundle of joy Maddox. However, the outcome (Chosen One! Brad Pitt!) was hardly anything to frown about.

2. Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck: Gigli. We're sorry, that's really all there is to say.

1. Meg Ryan and Russell Crowe: Talk about losing a rock solid reputation; America's sweetheart, married to a classic hunk (with a cute kid to boot!), ran off with the (then) Australian lothario while filming Proof Of Life in 2000. The results? Out with the marriage and the good girl cred, on with the racy movies and trout pout. Disaster.

• TOP 25 HOTTEST ON-SET HOOKUPS [AOL Movies]