Gawker: defamer, rubyfruit mafia

Homewrecking Spy In Jodie Foster's House Of Love Revealed!

Seth — Wed, 21 May 2008 18:00:00 EDT

Let there be no mistaking it—the National Enquirer owns the story of the disintegration of Jodie Foster's 14-year lesbian relationship to her beautiful Cydney. Now, their unprecedented access to the high-ranking Donettes of the Rubyfruit Mafia gives us another shocking exclusive: Foster has parked her U-Haul outside the home of Cindy Mort, the creator of HBO's stunt-cock popularizing, prosthesis-core drama Tell Me You Love Me. From their report:

The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively that the Oscar winner's new love is brunette Cindy Mort, a producer and screenwriter she met on the set of her 2007 film The Brave One.

The 47-year-old star's new squeeze is the former partner of thirtysomething actress Melanie Mayron — with whom she has two children!
Meanwhile, 55-year-old Cydney Bernard is still living with Jodie but their romance is over, say sources. [...]

To complicate matters, Cindy, 51, remains friends with her ex-partner Melanie — and the two women live in separate houses on the same Los Angeles street.

Jodie plans to move into one of [Mort's] Hollywood homes full-time, and ex-Cydney will live in another, disclosed a source close to Jodie.

Confused? We'd recommend taking a cue from The L Word's opening credits, and drawing a map on a dry-erase board plotting every prop penis, French bulldog visitation, and joint Home Depot credit card application to emerge from this all-lady love-parallelogram.

JODIE FOSTER'S NEW GIRLFRIEND [Enquirer]

Her Rwandan mission of peace still in a holding...

Seth — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 17:15:19 EST

Her Rwandan mission of peace still in a holding pattern, reformed God-locator Paris Hilton has been biding her time lately with an appearance at The L Word premiere party. Sporting the dykiest brunette bob wig she could get her hands on at such short notice, she reportedly cozied up all night with star Katherine Moennig, the two downing shots and popping up later at a Hollywood restaurant "holding hands." It was a daring display that some rubyfruit mafia watchers are calling the boldest fake-lesbian-dabbling in pursuit of a part that they've seen in quite some time. [Planet Gossip]

A Very Brady Sapphic Awakening

Seth — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 19:05:50 EDT

Some months ago, titillating news of a Brady Bunch porn led us to indulge our wildest combined-'70s-sitcom-family fantasies, as we shamefully revealed for you the most outrageous Brady-on-Brady coupling our filthy minds could conjure: Jan taking out years of frustration on her more popular sister with one sweaty, unhinged hate-fuck. Were we only to know just how close to the truth we were:

[Maureen] McCormick's tell-all, Here's the Story, won't hit bookstores until 2008, but publishers are already buzzing about the big reveal. [...]

A source tells The National Enquirer, "The most explosive comments will be how the then blonde, blue-eyed cutie developed a crush on Eve Plumb, which led to some sexual play.
"This book will certainly come as a shocker. While Maureen is not a lesbian, she reveals there were some sexual hijinks going on behind the scenes.

This news came as a complete shock, and we have since been replaying Brady moments over in our heads, wondering if the truth had been staring us in the face all along. One thing is for certain: Jan's cries of, "Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!" now take on ominous new implications. We can only hope the disturbing Brady revelations end here, and Peter isn't compelled to share deeply repressed memories involving his father, the garage, and a basketball pump that would lead him many years later into the reassuring arms of a slightly deranged reality TV model-search winner.

'Brady Bunch' Star Reveals All About Lesbian Fling with TV Sister [Hollywood.com]