Whoa, time warp. Remember those glittery old 1990s nights when you'd watch 90210 and then, right after, there would be Melrose Place waiting for you—a bitchy, bruised little giftbox. Well, in my case, in the early years at least, that only happened if the babysitter let me stay up. But still! We will soon get to relive those old days, only in a way shittier way! At the CW's upfronts yesterday they revealed that, yes, in fact, the new MP reboot will air on Tuesday nights right after the new, horrible 90210. So let your kids stay up late. Who knows, one day they could grow up to be gossip bloggers. Proud parents! [Variety]

Oh this sounds good. Rosario Dawson has just signed on to play opposite Kevin James in the romantic comedy The Zookeeper. The film is a about, um, a zookeeper whose animals teach him how to meet the ladies. Leslie Bibb from Popular is gonna be in it too. [Variety]

TNT is making a play to become the sixth major network, even though it's still stuck with that ugly basic-cable label. They held their own upfronts yesterday with notables like Dylan McDermott on hand to plug their cop dramas. In the upcoming months we may also see a Steven Spielberg-produced drama about aliens, a drama about a "down-on-his-luck" attorney, and a Kyra Sedgwick/Kevin Bacon-produced drama about a small town Texas sheriff called Zapata, Texas. TNT knows drama! Especially if it's half-baked brooding crime drama. [THR]

Roadside Attractions has picked up distrib rights to Happy Tears, which stars Demi Moore, Parker Posey, Rip Torn, and Ellen Barkin. Seeing as it's an indie and it's called Happy Tears, any guesses what it's about? Yep. You guessed it. It's about a wackily dysfunctional family. It comes out early next year. [THR]

Ohhh girl, get your reality on! The 22nd installment of MTV's syphilis-ridden warhorse The Real World will premiere on June 24th. The season is set in beautiful Cancun, Mexico and, since we haven't read any news reports about a tanned body full of booze turning up in a ditch outside Puerto Morelos, we'll just assume that Bryannica's case is still considered a "voluntary disappearance" by the Mexian authorities. [Variety]

The Sag Wars are heating up again. Which side will you fall on? Will you side with history? Are you willing to die by the SAG sword? Kate Walsh says vote yes. Do you really want to be on the losing side if Kate Walsh is victorious? She's a bloodthirsty maniac, hellbent on creating nothing less than global chaos and misery, after all. I mean, have you seen that show Private Practice? [Variety]

Rosario Dawson, meanwhile, came away from shooting the feature with some lingering questions of her own: particularly, doubts regarding her own desirability over co-star/CoS-dabbler Will Smith's seeming reluctance to dive into their scheduled love scenes. From LAT:

"Will wouldn't start kissing for weeks," she said, laughing. "It would be on the schedule, we'd have lights and everything set up, and he would end up being like, 'I'm not feeling it tonight. I don't think it's going to happen. Let's wait another week.' I was checking my breath, smelling myself, trying to see: 'Am I offending the man in some way?' "

"But we were talking about it from the beginning: He'd only done one other love scene, and that was with Jada [Pinkett Smith, his wife] in 'Ali.' I talked with Jada about it, and he asked if she could be there. It was a very, very endearing thing to see him be nervous."

It's sad that Dawson immediately pulled the old sexual-deficiency switcheroo of blaming herself, sulking back to her trailer worried that she may have put off her co-star with unpleasant body odors. Will is merely a consummate perfectionist—if one of cinema's more prudish leading men—and he was simply approaching the scenes from the truest place he could: by wooing his fictional lady with the same icked-out apprehension that greets her real-life counterpart whenever the Smiths get together for their monthly, Church-enforced conjugal visits.

• Rosario Dawson gets romantic in 'Seven Pounds' [LAT]

Boomp3.com

Popular film actress Rosario Dawson appeared to be very excited about unloading some negative energy and loading up on the positive vibes at a Los Angeles loading station. Dawson said, “There’s just so much negativity in the world and thank goodness there’s a place where I can unload and stock up on the good vibes without having to go San Pedro.”

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

According to People, Connor went through the audition process just like every other nobody pounding the kid star pavement and, lo and behold, won the part of playing a young Will Smith in the film. We hate to play the cynical card here, but there is one giant elephant in that casting room. Seven Pounds also stars he of the firmest buttocks in the land, Woody Harrelson, and internet TV star Rosario Dawson. So how did Connor, a kid whose acting experience has thus far been limited to pretending he loves his kooky dad, nail the part? Something tells us Cruise's all-powerful wizardly ways as gifted to him by the late King Hubbard, may include the ability to whisper evil nothings in Will's ear, leading to an instantaneous confirmation that Connor is The One. Call it a conspiracy theory, but we're just pondering out loud (well, pondering silently at our laptops, but you catch our drift).

• CONNOR CRUISE IS MAKING HIS BIG SCREEN DEBUT [People]

In today's episode: Quentin Tarantino, Jack Black, Rosario Dawson, Jeremy Piven, Eli Roth, Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost; Morrissey; Christian Bale; Jesse Metcalfe; Justina Machado; Geena Davis; Alicia Keys; Jennifer Love Hewitt; Rebecca Gayheart; Eddie Griffin; Maria Bello; Jamie Kennedy; Johnny Knoxville; Ron Jeremy; Enrique Murciano; Hal Sparks; Tricky and Kate Flannery.

· April 20 - Saw Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost at the Arclight in Hollywood for a Q&A session after a screening of Hot Fuzz. Surprise guest Quentin Tarantino, cocktail in hand, introduced the three. Also in attendance was Eli Roth. Later that evening, Tarantino was spotted leaving a bar near Big Wangs. Spotted him a third time at Citizen Smith on Cahuenga, where he was joined by Rosario Dawson, Jack Black, and the Hot Fuzz boys again. Jeremy Piven was also at Citizen, though he was with a different group of friends.

· Seen: Jack Black and his wife dancing and enjoying themselves in the VIP section of Iggy and the stooges last night (4-22). Morrissey standing right next to them, enjoying the show and looking quite dapper in a suit.

· sighting i jus saw jack black at the arclight cinema in hollywood (4-20) he was really nice, shaking people's hands! he was about 2 get in da elevator

· Friday (4/20): Jesse Metcalfe, his meticulously groomed eyebrows and three other people I didn't recognize having lunch at Cafe Med in the Sunset Plaza. He was drinking water, so maybe that afternoon of rehab really was all he needed?

Saturday (4/21): Justina Machado (Vanessa fr. Six Feet Under) & b.f./husband in line in front of me at Alcove on Hillhurst. I felt like even more of an Amazon than usual standing next to her. She's VERY short.

Sunday (4/22): Christian Bale (in black baseball hat, scruffy moustache & beard) with wife and two others at Cafe Delfini in the Palisades. Apparently having a leisurely meal - they were there when we got there (at 6:45) and there when we left (at 9).

· Saturday 4/21 - Saw Geena Davis at the 8pm showing of "Hot Fuzz" at the ArcLight. She was there was some guy - her husband? They swapped seats with me and my buddy so they could be closer to the rest of their group.

· April 14th, spotted Alicia Keys at the WeHo Wholefoods. She was checking out the water bottles with a hulking guy...friend, trainer, who knows? We made eye contact, she smiled. And looked great!

· Jennifer Love Hewitt hoping to cross over a traffic laden Sunset BLVD (say that 5 times fast) & Fairfax today (4-23) in her black Mini Cooper and flapper looking wig. I think she had just got gas at the Chevron. She looked flustered as we all honked at her attempted unwise foray over and through 6 lanes. Bonus!: Harley Davidson type license plate border of skull & crossbones. She is such a bad ass.

· Saw Rebecca Gayheart picking up her car at the valet stand at The Standard in Hollywood on Wednesday night (4/18). She was with a gal pal and asking the attendant if he thought it was "criminal" that they charged $14 for validated parking for staying less than four hours. She looked great with that crazy curly hair of hers.

· Not sure why, but we spotted Eddie Griffin eating a casual lunch at the Marriott Marina del Rey on Saturday. Our excuse for being there was business but why the heck was he there?

· 4/21 - While enjoying a perfect California day brunching and shopping along Abbott Kinney, I spotted a couple of Venice locals. Jamie Kennedy was noshing with an older man. Jamie had a hood covering his face - he looks a bit older than he'd probably like people to think. Maria Bello, looking perfectly layered in typical Venice casual chic, while shopping in Principessa with an unidentified guy.

· Saturday brunchies at the 101 Café, around noon, Johnny Knoxville, looking extremely hot. Not as good as the time I saw three Lost cast members in a booth, but still pretty good. (So were the chorizo and eggs.)

· I just took a quick walk to Rite Aid (4-22) and was returning home when I spotted the legendary Ron Jeremy gassing up a silver Saturn at Vineland and Ventura. I've met him before, and thought he was a nice guy, so I left him alone rather than yelling something that would embarrass him like "Weren't you in Reindeer Games?" The Saturn caught me a off guard, but seeing as it's Earth Day, I'm happy to report "The Hedgehog" isn't a gashog.

· This is pretty much scraping the bottom of the sightings barrel, but Hal Sparks with Kool-Aid red highlights at Real Food Daily on Friday for dinner, and just now (Monday night), Enrique Murciano (hottie from Without a Trace) wheeling down Fairfax near Canter's in a superb vintage convertible Mercedes.

· Sunday, April 22 @ Urth Cafe: Tricky, all alone... looking lonely and scary at the same time

· I went to ArtWalk at the Brewery Lofts on Sunday and came face to face with Kate Flannery (aka Meredith the boozy redhead on THE OFFICE) poking through the racks at the Black Hearts Brigade sample sale. She made several Meredith-esque "I need a martini!" faces at the pseudo punk rock clothes. She was wearing a matronly green v-neck cardigan sweater and a plaid mini-skirt with opaque black tights. The Go Fug Yourself girls would be very displeased had they been there.-

In today's episode: Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw; Jake Gyllenhaal; Jack Black; Reese Witherspoon; Quentin Tarantino, Rosario Dawson, Zoe Bell, Marley Shelton and Tracie Thoms; Kate Moss and Courtney Love; Thomas Jane; Seth Rogan and Fisher Stevens; Christina Ricci and Aimee Bender; Sandra Oh; Malcolm McDowell; Julie Delpy and Tom Morello; Paris and Nikki Hilton, Naomi Campbell and Marc Jacobs; Jason Lee; David Cross; Frank Gehry; Eric Balfour; Jamie Kennedy; Pauly Shore; Mindy Kaling; Balthazar Getty; Angela Kinsey; Jennifer Morrison, Jesse Spencer and Michelle Trachtenberg; Isla Fisher; Brandon Davis; Rachel Hunter; Jackie Warner and Rick Dees. In Vegas: Eddie Murphy and Chris Cornell.

· Spied mega-helmer Steven Spielberg at the Trancas Market Starbucks in Malibu with his missus, Kate Capshaw. Both looking very Sunday morning casual - sweat pants (her); black jeans (him) - but still with mogul shades on indoors. Missed the order, but caught the key word "non-fat". which he repeated. Then they drove on in a black Toyota Hybrid. I refrained from giving my views about the third act in A.I.

· Only submitting this because of the rarity of spotting Jake Gyllenhaal NOT working out. Saw him Thursday on Beverly Drive walking into building 345. Smiled at the family in front of us with two kids in cowboy costumes. Much taller and hotter than expected.

· While having a family get-together in Coldwater Canyon Park in Beverly Hills (4-8), I had the opportunity to raise my plastic champagne flute to toast Jack Black, who was taking a walk with a baby (presumably his child). He nodded to me in a "What's up, now please don't bother me" way, which I respected. He and the kid enjoyed the swings for a bit. Respectably paternal. No wife/mother present, perhaps he was giving her some 'alone time' while he enjoyed 'daddy/baby' time.

· Reese Witherspoon at Whole Foods in Brentwood 4-8. She looked pretty, although a little on the thin side, in a white summer dress with a mint green cardigan. She was talking REALLY loudly on her cell phone the entire time she was in the store, and seemed oblivious to all the people who stopped and stared as she walked by. I stood behind her in the checkout line, and watched her buy bread and lettuce (that's all I swear). The cashier, in awe of her presence, kept trying to chat her up, which she was clearly annoyed by, and kept half talking on her phone to avoid talking with him. She continued her cell phone chat as she exited the store, and then I had to listen and nod as the cashier told me how much he loves her.

· I went to the 8pm showing of GRINDHOUSE at the Chinese on Friday night and was filmgeekically pleased to see that Mr. Quentin Tarantino himself was in the house to see his movie. He came with a big group of the cast, including Rosario Dawson, Zoe Bell, Marley Shelton and Tracie Thoms. They sat in the middle of the theater with us normal folks. Quentin was very friendly, and chatted with well-wishers. On the way out, my group ended up getting caught up in the crush with his, and then he raped me with his eyes. I think that he is one of the few people where I might consider that a badge of honor.

· Thursday 4/5, at Mann's Chinese Theatre in the tourist-packed
forecourt (no head-butting Chewbacca or spliff-smoking Batman to be seen, though Darth Vader had his helmet off and was talking to the police) - I lean out of the way of some dude in jeans and a leather jacket who almost crashes into me. He manages to only bump my wrist since at least one of us is paying attention. I still almost bust out with "Hey, watch it, buddy", but I find my Buddha nature again and decide to let it go. Leather jacket man is in a big hurry, rushes over to the box office, and holy shit, it's Quentin Tarantino! Here to check the pre-sales for Grindhouse, opening at the Chinese in 6 hours, or to catch the last screening of 300 before it leaves the big screen (like I'm doing)? I would guess the former, but I see him inside later, hurrying down to the bathroom talking to himself, lookin' frustrated and stressed. Probably nervous about the weekend grosses. There was an extended Grindhouse trailer before 300 so maybe he was popping in to check that out.

· so here i am at The Gossip on saturday night at the troub - if i wore a bra i would have throw it at the lead singer - anyway show's over, ugly lights on, and who saddles up to the bar but kate fucking moss (no pete d in sight) and courtney fucking love. girls are smoking cigs and get reprimanded, order a double vodka something and a DC for the 'sober one'. at least she's keeping up appearances. KM looking straggly but hot, even with the lazy eye, and newly skinny CL with scary clown lips from all the plastic surgery and/or weight loss. KM pays and - so odd - doesnt tip. how fucking weird for british assholes like her! someone so well traveled should know the ways of american tipping, but alas - bitch kept her $4.50 while discussing a $38000 'piece of jewelry' with the hole. can someone please tell these uk fuckers that we know they know better than to not tip, and to shove it up their wanker asses? later in the loft (CL gone by now) KM in the one-toilet bathroom with at least 6 other people for a half hour, singing. i shit you not, belting fucking whitney houston with the rest of the hangers, locked up in the disgusting toilet. i hope to god they were blowing fat rails off of each other's tits in between the chorus of 'i will always love you.'

· Kate Moss and Courtney Love at the Gossip show at the Troubadour (4/7). Kate (who could possibly fly away if a stiff wind blew) bought drinks with a $100 bill at the front bar and neglected to tipThe bartender was none too pleased. Refer to her now as CheapsKATE.

· So I'm out on the beach about half a mile south of Paradise Cove on Easter morning. It's just me and my dog. Off in the distance I hear a man yelling. I look up to see a man skipping rocks in the ocean. The weird thing, though, is that he yells out a number for every skip. Not one time, but every single time he throws the rocks, he screams out each number. His high appeared to be five. I can hear him and I'm like a quarter mile away. It's non stop for at least the ten minutes I approached. As I get closer I see a little girl with him I don't know what to do. Should I call child welfare? I look at the little girl and she seems ok, almost like she's used to it. Then I think wait a minute, that little girl, she kinda looks like Patricia Arquette. And the guy, he looks like the guy who tried to rob the drug dealer in Boogie Nights. Oh, I get it, it's Thomas Jane. He starts egging my dog on, trying to get him to chase a stick. I don't know why but I almost started running away. It was like being in that scene in Boogie Nights and his screaming was like the firecrackers going off nonstop.

· waiting at the valet of the Beverly Hills Hotel on Friday 4/6 was Fisher Stevens. Looked exactly like Fisher Stevens, scruff and all. with a blond and a burnette and all were laughing about something. I didn't wait to see what kind of car they got into. also saw Seth Rogan from "freaks and geeks" and "the 40 year old virgin" crossing beverly near the grove. with three other people, looked like parental units to me. i was in my car but i've heard he's a nice guy in real life.

· 1:30 p.m. April 6th - Saw Christina Ricci eating with a female friend at Marmalade Cafe in the Grove, thought she was Rose McGowan at first, but then, after a second look, confirmed it was RIcci. She was wearing a cute white jacket and had been shopping at J.Crew. Mere moments later, saw author Aimee Bender shopping at Banana Republic.

· April 6, 2007 12:30 - Just saw Sandra Oh holding hands with a guy walking up La Jolla off of Wilshire. She looked great in grey trousers and black leather (?) jacket, hair loosely tied back. Guy was fashion victim type with weird frosted blond hair and too low jeans. I would have thought he was gay if not hand-holding with Ms. Fab-Oh. Possibly gay friend?

· Yesterday, 4/5. Main St in Venice, outside Chaya. Malcolm McDowell bitching to a friend about how poorly paid he was for his stint on "Heroes". I thought about telling him that his $25k/episode was as much as I made last year, but then I had an ultra-violence flashback and just kept walking.

· 90s nostalgia at Pizzeria Mozza Saturday night 11pm:

Julie Delpy and entourage got seated at the bar. twenty minutes later Tom Morello comes in a gets a table. They both look the same as they did in their respective "Before Sunrise" and Rage Against the Machine days, although high-end pizza doesn't really seem on-message for the latter...

· Saturday April 7th: Paris and Nikki Hilton shopping at Marc Jacobs on Melrose, THEN Naomi Campbell (post community service) and Marc Jacobs himself (on an Easter break from rehab?) came in together. All there at the same time. Coincidence or fashion mashup?!

· Today - April 6 - Jason Lee at the Gelson's on Hyperion - no Earl moustache, eating chips from the bag before paying, looking at the magazines at the check-out stand, perhaps thinking "Yes, Katie Holmes really DOES look like a zombie."

· Saw David Cross tonight (4-7) hanging at the Blu Monkey on Hollywood blvd. He was chatting with some peeps and drinking Amstel lights. He wore a cap of course to hide the baldness that is Cross, and jeans and a shirt, pretty normal Hollywood stuff.

· Of all the freaky-deaky things: Frank Gehry...at Venice's Gold's Gym? There was a funny moment when the master builder snapped at some meathead who dropped his 9,000-lb. weights to the floor with a deafening crash. Then Meathead snapped back at Gehry, "Ya wanna hear some noise, go to one a your damn sites!" The whole thing is just so surreal. After Bilbao, why ab crunches?

· April 7 — Saw Eric Balfour of "24" and "Six Feet Under" at the PinkBerry in Los Feliz. With a bunch of friends, ordering a small yogurt with raspberries. Very tall, and surprisingly hot in person.

· Just now (4-6) I walked past none other than Pauly Shore, on his way down the Southwest Airlines terminal of Burbank airport. I hope to see him weezing the juice at a food stand in a few minutes.

Also, I overheard Jamie Kennedy at Starbucks on Sunset & Gower asking the barista about Silk creamers. The barista ended up showing him the carton of Silk from the espresso bar... apparently Jamie expects crafty everywhere he goes. Silk creamers are a part of his "Experience" maybe.

· Went Canter's last night (4/9), and standing in line in front of us was mindy kaling, kelly "the office" kapur and the show's resident female writer. Tres cute and human looking, flashed us this huge smile. The waitress sat us in a booth facing their table, where I was forced to resist the urge to throw down my tuna melt and scream "I WANT TO BE YOU!"

· normally, i could give a flying f*ck about celebrities. but today, 4/9, had the best celeb run-in EVER. sat next to MINDY KALING (Kelly Kapoor on The Office) while getting a mani/pedi. we had a really nice chat. she was incredibly sweet. very, very cool. am a big fan of The Office, so of course i wanted to ask lots of questions. at one point, it felt like I was interviewing her. but she was kind enough to indulge me. now, i've met my fair share of celebs in this town, but she's one of the coolest i've ever met. no ego, no diva behavior. and i swear to god, this is not some phony 'tip' submitted by her publicist. Mindy? i 'heart' you!

· Balthazar Getty standing outside golds hollywood. Friday, 6 p.m.

· Eva Mendes must live near me (on Hollyridge).
She's always zipping around way too fast in her puke green Land Rover "Disco".
She's practically killed my dog twice already.
Friday 4/6 I was stopped at the bottom of the hill off of Beachwood, watching a sweet, terrified looking Mangy coyote on someone's lawn when she barrelled down Graciosa practically colliding with another car that had stopped to observe the coyote.
I caught a glimpse of her as she passed, looking as smug & obnoxious as always.
Gimme a break. You're Eva Mendez. Big deal.
You make Salma Hayek seem like Meryl Streep, you balloon chested, snot-nose.

· Friday, 4/6 - Sherman Oaks Pacific Theatre - got good seats for
Grindhouse despite only showing up 15 minutes before showtime (perhaps foreshadowing its embarrassingly low opening weekend gross). Two blondes pass by looking for seats, one with glasses and one without, and as I'm checking them out, damned if one of them isn't Angela from The Office (imdb assist: Angela Kinsey). She is actress-tiny, 5'1" / 95 lbs. or so, way hotter than they let her look on TV.

(OK, weird that this is my second Grindhouse-related sighting report this week - normally, as the fake sighting/publicisted item junior policeman, I'd be all over myself - but since the flick has flopped so miserably this weekend I would be one crappy ass publicist.)

· I was having dinner at Katsuya in Encino when I noticed two of the Doctors from "House" Jennifer Morrison and Jesse Spencer. They were sitting with another couple when Michelle Trachtenberg and some guy approached their table to shoot the breeze. I didn't realize so many good looking people hung out in the valley.

· Brandon Davis and parents at Century City mall on Friday night, 4/6. In person, he did not shine quite as much as he does in the tabloid photos. Maybe the flashbulbs catch the light and make him look extra oily. I mean, he was shiny, but he was not GLISTENING.

Borat's babymama, Isla Fisher, and some friends having brunch at Ivy at the Shore on Saturday, 4/7. She's teensy, but definitely looks pregnant.

· Saturday night (4/7) spotted supermodel/Rod Stewart ex/Dancing with the Stars castoff/Stacy's Mom herself, Rachel Hunter at Winston's. She looked way younger than I'm sure she is (she must be in her forties now, right?) and had a great, voluminous head of hair. She sat at a table inside and nonchalantly talked with friends. She actually looked like a real person (as opposed to the girls who were trying too hard), but she still managed to look fantastic

· Friday 4/8: The roommate and I are one of a handful of homos who
didn't hop the caravan to Palm Springs for White Party...we decide to celebrate by going to the classiest bar on the SM strip: Motherlode. About halfway through a game of pool we spot everyone's favorite lezzie trainer, Jackie Warner from Bravo, looking very VERY fucked up and dancing with a hot chica (NOT the crazy brazillian). Jackie's femme friend was basically lifting her shirt over her head on the dance floor. Almost saw some trainer ta-tas. Also, Jesse the fat gay trainer was there with them, looking rather portly. Guess that season-long quest to shed some pounds didn't work out.

· I saw Rick Dees the DJ at the Fri (4/6) performance of "Wicked" at the Pantageous theater. Wow, I'm embarassed to be writing that for two separate reasons.

Special Eddie n' Elton Vegas Edition:

· Friday, 4/6, 7:30 pm showing.

Saw Eddie Murphy + 2 male companions at the Elton John show at Caesars Palace waiting on the security checkpoint queue. Black blazer, pants, shirt, sunglasses [indoors!]. Said male companions were wearing the same thing.

Saturday, 4/7, 3 pm

Fashion Mall, across Wynn. Chris Cornell w/ family. Carrying his newborn...Very handsome in person...tall, piercing blue eyes.

In today's episode: Bryan Singer; Jake Gyllenhaal; Clint Eastwood; Orlando Bloom; Oliver Stone; Lindsay Lohan and Monica Keena; Drew Barrymore; Rosario Dawson; Sandra Bullock and Jesse James; Patrick Dempsey; Kanye West; Thom Yorke; Bill Maher; Danny Masterson, Santino Rice; DJ AM and Nicole Richie; Tori Spelling; Ian Somerhalder; Anderson Cooper; Bryce Dallas Howard; Vincent Gallo; BJ Novak; Diedrich Bader; Jesse Spencer; Zelda Rubinstein; Marcellas Reynolds and Mr. And Miss Jay.

· Thursday, October 26 at about 11am
-Bryan Singer with a cadre of barely legal looking, skinny, baggy pants and t-shirted boys at Hugos in West Hollywood. I swear to God, there were a couple of them who didn't look a DAY over 15. It didn't make sense; as far as I know it IS a school day.

-Just as Singer was arriving with the boy caravan, Jake Gyllenhaal was just finishing up breakfast at Hugos. Not sure if they greeted each other.

· Tuesday, October 24th at Orso. Clint Eastwood in the back corner of the patio dining with a producer type. Very low key. Very classy. When a couple came up to him after he had finished his meal, he was very gracious, took time to talk to them and even gave them an autograph. Even my typically unimpressed boyfriend was slightly ga-ga over this sighting.

· Thursday night late @ Little Door on 3rd in Hollywood. Love this restaurant it's cute. So it must have been date night. Jake Gyllenhaal was seated next to a short sexy brunette @ a big table of friends. The two of them talked all night and were the last to leave. Marcellas Reynolds came in and joined a big table and made out all through dinner with an older German guy. My wife and I could tell he was German because all night long they spoke German and French @ the table while laughing and taking tons of pics.

· As I was leaving the Decemberists show at The Wiltern (10/21), I passed by a crowd of guys mostly in black, I kind of recognized one of them so I kept staring hoping one of them would look familiar. And lo and be hold I recognized the short greasy one: Orlando Bloom. He was wearing a fedora and chatting with some brunette, he looked pretty much the same as he does when he's 14 feet tall(minus the height).

· Just saw Oliver Stone on my elevator in non-descript building in Santa Monica. Looked typically rumpled in a "mad professor" kind of way—sport coat and glasses perched on his head. Couldn't tell if he was working on any conspiracy theories about the floors the elevator stopped on...

· Minding my own beeswax on Saturday afternoon, trying to work off the work out with a pomegranate margatini, I noticed Lindsay Lohan (dark hair, back from fashion week, apparently) and Monica Keena sitting on the patio at Basix. At the same table (not at the same table as me).

· saw drew barrymore at fred 62 in los feliz on sunday, rosario dawson sitting outside of the restaurant on monday.

· Watching the Ducks embarrass the Kings yesterday afternoon at Staples (10/22) we got to see Sandra Bullock and Jesse James smooching on the jumbotron during the famous "Kiss Cam" moment. Their on-screen kiss was tame, but once the cameras were off Bullock was in Jesse's lap for more romance.

· While on my daily commute from Santa Monica to Studio City, at about 8:45 am on Oct. 26, I merged from the 405 onto the 101 next to Dr. McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey) driving alone in his McDreamy silver sports car. He looked well put together in baseball cap, white button-down shirt and dark sweater vest. My wife and I (we were carpooling) followed him all the way down the 101, jockeying for a better view, which we got repeatedly (the wife has a giant crush on McDreamy; mine is only slightly less giant). He was talking and laughing on a cell phone most of the way. I don't know if he was headed into work or not, but he seemed blissfully unconcerned about any impending rendezvous with McChokey.

· Walking around The Grove today (10/22) I expected to see some celebrity sightings. I didn't go there for that reason, I just wanted to waste a Sunday afternoon and check out all the beautiful women that the warm weather would surely bring out. I was not disappointed on both accounts. Not long after I got there I spotted Kanye West on his way out. I'm 6' tall and of course expected him to be a bit taller but he was just an inch or two shorter than me. He walked past me with a friend of his and after he passed I did a 180 and sort of followed him, just to make sure it was him. When I caught up to him he was taking cell phone pics with some kids that recognized him. Seeing that he's from the South Side of Chicago and I had my White Sox baseball jersey on I thought he might give me some mad caucasian props but I was sorely mistaken. I didn't feel like approaching him like any other fan so I just looked at him, he looked at me and continued on. He got his Mercedes (McLaren SLR) from the Valet and zoomed off. Maybe next time I'll say something to him, and maybe next year my White Sox will make the playoffs.

· I don't know if this counts because I'm not sure that the celebrity in question is lame enough to be included in this. But, my husband and I had lunch at this hole-in-the-wall trattoria in Florence on 10/21. After about twenty minutes, I look up and realize that Thom Yorke from Radiohead is at the next table. He was with a British woman and a small girl. I assume that it was his partner and daughter because the little girl looked just like him. He seemed to be a pretty friendly, down-to-earth guy. We felt really bad because we had been eyeing their food trying to figure out what they had ordered before we even realized he was at the table! (Well, it looked good and it IS Italy, after all!) He must have thought we were staring at him the whole time. No one else in the place seemed to have any idea who he was, except for a few of the younger waiters, who shook his hand on the way out. . . .And for those of you who are wondering, he is just as googley-eyed in person.

· went to see 'The Departed' last Saturday night in Culver City. we were told that it was a sold out show, and there weren't many seats left. as we walked into the theater, i saw Bill Maher walking out. guess he didn't want to sit in the front seats. he had a beautiful African-American lady with him. not sure if it was a date, or a 'date'. was kind of surprised to see him in Culver City. maybe that's where his 'lady friend' lives? and even though i know he's on the short side, still surprised by his shortness.

· Danny Masterson, Santino Rice, and DJ AM and Nicole Richie on opposite sides of the room at Mickey Avalon's free show at Dragonfly Monday night, around 12:30am

I saw Tori Spelling coming out of A Pea In The Pod one block off of Rodeo Drive, with her husband looking one step away from K-Fed style greasiness. She also looked totally pregnant, and was totally showing it off in a cute maternity top. (10/19)

· Ian Somerhalder at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market last Sunday. He is sporting Boone's newer, longer hair 'do and he has extremely skinny legs. He was walking around with a regular-looking female and seemed to go unnoticed.

· Even though this sighting was in LA it's kind of more Gawker/Wonkette but I'll go for it — this morning at breakfast at the Peninsula hotel (how fancy am I?) saw ambiguously handsome Anderson Cooper. He had on a green t-shirt, jeans and boots and his shockingly gray hair was perfect. He's really cute, not that tall and was asking the front desk for something. I told the Belvedere hostess that we wanted to sit with him and she just gave me a blank stare. No sense of humor there but since their entire staff is on the National Enquirer payroll she was probably mad that I recognized him and was going to give the scoop to defamer first.

· A very pregnant Bryce Dallas Howard. at last Friday's 8:30 showing of "Flags of Our Fathers" at the Arclight.

· While waiting for a table at Hirozen on Monday night I saw Tyne Daly (but not Sharon Gless, sadly) with a table of much younger and more attractive people. Apparently I was the only one in the restaurant whose interest was remotely piqued by the thought of Det. Mary Beth Lacey (I admit I had to look that up on IMDB) chowing down on raw fish.

· Vincent Gallo ordering a Pink Berry frozen yogurt in West Hollywood/Huntly Drive - Saturday, Oct 21st. In jeans and a tank top t-shirt. Had scruffy hair and beard. Don't get why he can't seem to find the time to do a little grooming. About 5ft 10in. with pasty thin arms. The guy could use a little color.He's definitely got the "New York" guy type of body and not a California or certainly not a West Hollywood build. Don't really want to pick on him. He seemed a little alone and believe it or not...a bit lonely looking. I know that it's not a description that's normally applied to him. He was very low key. Okay..okay...I know the guy is off his rocker but for about two minutes I have to say he did appear vulnerable. Alright for fuck sake..once the drugs wear off I'm sure my perception will clear up.

· Tuesday, 10/17 at Taiyo (the little sushi restaurant on that section of Franklin Ave west of Bronson), BJ Novak (writer and co-star of the fabulous show The Office) dining with friends. He looked up at me as I walked by with the same deer-in-the-headlights expression that his character Ryan so often wears.

· Saturday, 10/21 at Whole Foods at 3rd and Fairfax, Diedrich Bader (I know he did something post-Drew Carey, but I can't think of it just now) with his son in the freezer section. The boy, blonde and adorable, was searching through the ice cream section for his mom's favorite flavor.

· Jesse Spencer at the CD/album release part for the "Evil Bong" soundtrack at Boardners last night. The cover gave me nightmares all night.

· Saw Zelda Rubenstein, on a booster seat, in my favorite Hollywood lunch spot, The Good Neighbor on Cahuenga West, on Wednesday the 25th. I've gotten twenty five years older, but she looks exactly the same.

· Due to its proximity to The Vivid Production Centre, I'm sure there are oodles of porn queens there all the time, but didn't seem to be any that day, not that I would know...

· Shopping @ the Beverly Center on Friday afternoon and who walks by but Marcellas Reynoldss and the 2 Jay's from America's Next Top Model. Marcellas was laughing with Miss Jay but Mr. Jay didn't seem to friendly.