Gawker: defamer, richie sambora

Well-Manicured Claws Come Out In Hollywood Catfight Explosion

Molly Friedman — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 16:55:00 EDT

Sometimes two stories will come along on the very same day and reaffirm one of the oldest Hollywood clichés in history. Namely, that babe magnetism can be yours even if you don't possess looks, charm or gentlemanly ways. Provided, of course, that you have either money or music cred. With that in mind, we'd like to call your attention to two fantasy-worthy catfights brewing today. All kinds of manicured claws are out over the 80-year old borderline polygamist Hugh Hefner and the scraggly rock star Richie Sambora. Why four sets of fake boobs are rubbing up against each other (as Kate Hudson’s baby boy would say) and which contenders are looking like the early “winners” of the ongoing squabbles, after the jump.

If you've had the great pleasure of catching an episode of Denise Richards' star vehicle, It's Complicated, or watching one of her many defensive "I'm A Good Person, Not A Sperm-Stealing Slut" promotional appearances, you may have noticed her quiet insistence on clearing up all those rumors that she stole Bon Jovi guitar hero Richie Sambora from former BFF Heather Locklear. Adding salt to Heather's wound is her assurance that the two weren't even friends — Richards told The View she just met Heather through shared ex and current pay-for-sex repeat offender Charlie Sheen. But Locklear's camp tells the NY Post that the blonde "has phone records that prove Denise was calling Richie while Heather was still married to him...Heather was such a good friend to Denise. She gave Denise clothes and offered her a shoulder to cry on...there are even photos in the press of Heather taking Denise out after she and Charlie split."

Well we're sold. If Heather says she has phone records, says she has pictures, and says she gave Denise actual clothes (since when does the husband get the wife's wardrobe in divorce court?), we don't need further proof. After all, Locklear told us "glamour is all about what you feel inside" in those L'Oreal spots, and truer words were never, ever spoken.

As for Hefner's wild bunch, TMZ reports that producers of everyone's favorite sunny and sparkly show best played on mute, The Girls Next Door, have found themselves in the middle of number one ~~prostitute~~ girl Holly Madison's and trailer park refugee Kendra Wilkinson's battling egos. Though mere (yawn) jealousy is at the center of the fight for Hef's Viagra-bolstered bedroom moves, we're confused about the reported "flying fur" producers are dealing with. Are wigs being torn off? Bikini wax remnants saved and thrust across the pool? We'll have to actually watch the damn thing to demystify that enigma.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

CLAWS OUT AT THE PLAYBOY MANSION [TMZ]
DENISE'S 'REALITY' CHALLENGED [NYP]

Fathers For Drunk Driving Founder Richie Sambora Could Be Charged With Child Endangerment

Seth — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:50:20 EDT

Richie Sambora has long struggled with his addictions—themselves a natural response to the stresses of occupying one point on a messy Hollywood love pentagram whose details we can never quite get straight. (We think he was briefly married to David Spade before a bitter divorce led him directly into the arms of the Just Shoot Me star's former BFF, Heather Locklear.) But now, the Bon Jovi guitarist is facing far more serious matters, as Orange County officials are reportedly looking to slap the recently DUI'd Sambora with child endangerment charges:

Police are asking the district attorney to file a misdemeanor child endangerment charge against Richie Sambora, who had two children in his car when he was arrested for investigation of drunken driving last month. [...]

Calls to Sambora's publicist and the district attorney's office weren't immediately returned early Wednesday.

Regardless of how sensible your alcohol-soaked intentions to chauffeur your children to 6 a.m. soccer practice via a little-known, Hummer-assisted shortcut through a local playground, there is simply no excuse for putting your brood's lives so flagrantly at risk. Whatever the legal outcome, we truly hope this latest chapter provides the very most rock-bottom moment for the the revolving-door rehabber, and that we don't later learn that Richie himself piloted the maiden voyage of the Sambora Family Party Jetways' non-stop service to the Wynn Las Vegas's rooftop landing strip.

Police seek child endangerment charge in Sambora case [Yahoo/AP]

When Richie Sambora Gets A DUI, The Jersey Girl Inside Us Dies A Little

Seth — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 13:32:05 EDT

Denise Richards fling-survivor and two-time rehab graduate Richie Sambora experienced one of those nasty wake-up calls last night, stopped by Laguna cops shortly before 11:00 PM after swerving in a Black Hummer. "He failed numerous field sobriety tests and was detained for DUI. At the station Sambora opted to take a blood test rather than blow into a breathalyzer. Laguna Beach PD Sgt. Jason Kravetz [says], 'At this point there's no indication of drugs.'" Funny—we don't remember asking about drugs. We leave you now to spend some quiet time with Sambora's bemulleted mugshot, looking deep into those bloodshot eyes as you sing out to no one in particular, "Sometimes you tell the day/By the bottle that you drink/And times when you're all alone all you do is think."

Richie Off the Wagon — Popped For DUI [TMZ]

Eva Mendes Latest Victim Of Cirque Lodge's Non-Miraculous Healing Powers

Molly Friedman — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 16:51:57 EST

That Cirque Lodge in Utah sure sounds like one helluva wonder drug. After spending several weeks there attending to what TMZ claimed was a"substance abuse" problem, Eva checked out on February 7th (the same day Kiki Dunst checked in!), but was recently seen joyriding through the weekend party circuit. (Lest you forget, Ms. Mendes was once a Campari model.) But Eva's not the only Cirque alum who hasn't quite kicked whatever habit they went in there with; illustrious fellow Cirque-ers include David Hasselhoff, Mary-Kate Olsen, Richie Sambora and our favorite topless "art" model, Lindsay Lohan. So how well did each of these stellar examples of tip top health fare after leaving the Lodge, sober certificate in hand? From hamburgers to hoovering powder on the beach, the verdict is in.

After entering Cirque in 2004 for what she claimed was an eating disorder, but may have had more to do with LiLo's favorite Nesquik flavored nose candy, Mary-Kate Olsen emerged looking healthier, but the last three years haven't exactly been void of party appearances and 21st birthday parties involving plenty of booze. Then there's Richie Sambora, who was famously seen (well, seemed to have been seen) indulging in some beachside snort-n-sniff with Worst Bond Girl Of All Time Denise Richards. And who can forget the crumbling remnants of a hamburger struggling to make their way into an intoxicated David Hasselhoff's slurring mouth as his daughter filmed the tragicomedy? Cirque's sole soberista (so far) is Lindsay Lohan, but recent decisions to "tastefully" show the world her tits do not exactly a healthy lifestyle make. The only way this pricey rehab can salvage any sort of rep is by releasing Kiki in top form. Which will happen when piglets fly, of course.

EVA MENDES HAS A POST-REHAB DINNER WITH HER BOYFRIEND [PageSix.com]

Slippery When Triumph Pisses On Your Leg

Seth — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 13:41:28 EDT

With Friday finally here, your booze-infused weekend a mere nine call-rolling hours away, we thought we'd celebrate with a Triumph the Insult Comic Dog segment aired on Late Night with Conan O'Brien last night, in which 80's-hair-rock-titan turned middle-aged-lesbian Jon Bon Jovi revisited his encounter with the horny and vicious Rottweiler. We won't give away some of Triumph's best lines, except to say there's one involving Richie Sambora and a potentially damaging use of a curling iron that made our day.

Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Richie Sambora Slips Into Rehab While No One Is Looking

Seth — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 18:40:25 EDT

Because we once swore on a stack of six-month-old glossies in the lobby of a shady direct-to-video production company in Simi Valley to exhaustively chronicle every celebrity detox attempt that crossed our desks—with no celebrity too paunchy, sunburned, or sloppy-seconded to escape our scrutiny—we pass along news of the latest in what will surely go down as a bounty year for rehabs:

"Richie Sambora has entered an undisclosed treatment facility in Los Angeles," the rep said in a statement. "He asks that you respect he and his family's privacy at this time."

The specific nature of Sambora's substance-abuse problem was not disclosed.

For those of you who require a brush-up on your Samboran background, here are the essentials, which, coincidentally, just so happen to be the sum total of our knowledge on the subject:
1) Lead guitarist for seminal hair metal band Bon Jovi, recently featured on American Idol.
2) Was married to Heather Locklear.
3) Was diddling Locklear ex-BFF Denise Richards. (But isn't anymore, we think.)
4) Cleverly booked himself into rehab on a day where every piece of news-gathering equipment in the greater L.A. area is trained squarely on the only WeHo detainment facility that happens to come with full-time maid service and falls squarely within Why Cook?'s delivery area.

Richie Sambora Enters Rehab [People]