As a less painful alternative to the new At The Movies I took a plastic knife to my eyeballs and poked then until they bleed a little. Next time I just won't watch at all. — Dirty Harry

It's almost insulting. The producers want to beef up the ratings so they hire two youngish guys and stick some "neato" graphics around the screen and viola! Now the hipsters will come! -donner- said it best. It hasn't been the same since Gene died. And Roger, God love him, has been doing his best, but the thrill's been gone. — wh

They should get rid of the "Rent It" verdict. It's a lazy way to judge a movie. Either see it or you don't; this will force their reviews to be more focused. — Rob Grizzly

The only thing I feel good about with this "new direction" is at least they didn't hire Billy Bush (I'm never gonna forgive that ***hat for defecating on the Golden Globes earlier this year, am I? Maybe I should see somebody about that...) — Meier

I'll never have an opinion because I'm never going to watch the show. I prefer to read the comments and reviews of Roger Ebert, Richard Roeper and Michael Phillips on the Internet. — Jakeem

Don't you worry, "Jakeem": As evidenced by their appearance Sunday on Entourage's season premiere, Roeper and Phillips still have a bright TV future in ironic fake-review cameos:

• At the Movies [Buena Vista TV]
• Does 'At the Movies' work.. [PopWatch]

"I am incredibly excited to be involved with such a prestigious show," said co-host Ben Lyons. "Reviewing films for a living is a thrill, and now that I will be a critic for At the Movies, it is an honor and huge responsibility that I look forward to."

"I am thrilled and honored beyond words to be joining the series," added co-host Ben Mankiewicz. "As a movie fanatic, this is my dream job. Without question, I certainly have very big shoes to fill."

Fine. It's not really the nepotism we mind — Lyons being the son of former At The Movies current Reel Talk host and syndicated hack Jeffrey Lyons (and grandson of NYC gossip Leonard Lyons); Mankewicz derived from his political-guru dad Frank Mankewicz and Citizen Kane-scripting grandfather Herman Mankewicz. That's not the kids' fault. However, the proliferation of Lyons' notorious quotewhoredom gives us pause, as does our fear that three generations of inbreeding within the critical gene pool will yield a monster that neither Ebert/Siskel/Roeper loyalists nor filmgoing kiddies want. But the guys come cheap, we suppose, and "Two Mutant Flippers Up!™" is kind of catchy, so we guess we'll reserve judgment until the Sept. 6 season premiere.

[Photo: Thompson on Hollywood]

• Lyons and Mankiewicz To Replace Ebert and Roeper [Thompson on Hollywood]

In an e-mail to The Associated Press on Monday, Ebert said Disney-ABC Domestic Television had decided to take the show "in a new direction" and he won't be associated with it.

In a statement, Ebert said, "The show was a wonderful experience," and added that he and Siskel's widow, Marlene Iglitzen, retain the trademark to the phrase, "Two thumbs up." [...]

His announcement came a day after Chicago Sun-Times columnist Richard Roeper said he was leaving the nationally syndicated "At the Movies With Ebert & Roeper."

"Several months ago, Disney offered to extend my contract, which expires at the conclusion of the 2007-08 season," Roeper said. "I opted to wait. Much transpired after that behind the scenes, but an agreement was never reached, and we are all moving on."

Whatever Disney's "new direction" entailed—we're picturing the large-breasted Roeper Girls spinning a giant Thumb-O-Tron, which miraculously pointed to "TWO WAY, WAY, WAY UP!!!" every time a Disney release was up for review—we're dreading it. It's time to bring in the big guns, and re-animate Gene Siskel via the magic of XBox 360's RAW 2008 for some old-school Sneak Previews smackdowns like the ones we savored weekly in our youth.

• Ebert and Roeper leaving 'Ebert & Roeper' [CNN/AP]