Gawker: defamer, revenge

Stern Says $60 Mil Barely Enough To Cover Suffering Of Having World Think He'd Do Birkhead

Seth — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 19:38:49 EDT

Though it was Larry Birkhead who openly swore he'd sue Rita Cosby, to use the legal parlance, "back into the MSNBC rat-hole from which she first produced her twitching rodent snout," it is Howard K. Stern, the second half of the all-male coupling she licentiously described in Blonde Ambition, who's first to file suit:

Anna Nicole Smith's lawyer and companion, Howard K. Stern, filed a $60 million libel lawsuit Tuesday against Rita Cosby and her publisher over a book she wrote that claims Stern and Smith's ex-boyfriend, Larry Birkhead, had a sexual encounter.

The suit, filed in federal court in New York, seeks $10 million in compensatory damages and $50 million in punitive damages from Cosby—who wrote "Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith's Death"—and Hachette Book Group USA Inc.

With the gauntlet thrown down, Cosby's best hope at this point is to finally locate the rumored and elusive video capturing the "compromising, intimate position" enacted by the two Smith hangers-on; otherwise, the $60 million sex-act will remain relegated to the category of myth, despite being the most satisfying make-believe blow job Stern has ever not received.

Anna Nicole Smith Book Prompts $60M Suit [AP/Breitbart.com]

Violent Anne Heche Flare-Up Reportedly Leaves 19 Shirts Dead, Untold Pairs Of Pants Missing

Seth — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 20:56:16 EDT

One of Hollywood's pettier divorces in recent memory—that of Men in Trees star and intermittent lesbian Anne Heche from her cameraman husband Coley Laffoon—takes another childish nosedive today, with the soon-to-be-exes squabbling in court over various items of clothing, furniture, and accoutrements that have gone missing from the annoyingly designated rooms of their shared L.A. home:

In documents filed in L.A. Superior Court, Laffoon accuses Heche of taking a number of items - including the master bed and yoga-room rugs - from the L.A. home they share. (Under the terms of a judge's temporary order, they alternate use of the house while Heche is in Los Angeles.) [...]
Laffoon also alleges that when he returned to the home July 1 and found the furniture missing, he also "discovered that [Heche] had gone into my closet and ripped the buttons off of 19 of my shirts and removed some of my pants."

Heche denies any wrongdoing, insisting the items either never existed or were hers to begin with, and convincingly feigned complete ignorance when presented with a copy of the Xeroxed flyer still stapled to many telephone poles around the neighborhood, reading, "DIVORCE BLOWOUT YARD SALE AT CASA HECHE! YOGA-ROOM RUGS, POKER TABLE, MY USELESS EX-HUSBAND'S PANTS, BAG O' BUTTONS. EVERYTHING MUST GO!!!"

Anne Heche, Coley Laffoon Battle Over Furniture [People.com]

Whack-A-Grazer: Smash That Ex Right Out Of Your Hair

Mark — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 20:44:42 EDT

Realizing that even a Daily Inspiration from Fran Drescher ("Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it's hard to go back to sleep," counsels The Nanny, cryptically) and an online shopping spree for sassy "Wife Goes On" tanktops would probably not be enough to distract Gigi Levangie from the stress of today's announcement about the end of her marriage to one of the most powerful men in Hollywood, the USA Network's web team whipped up the therapeutic Whack-a-Grazer tool for their Starter Wife creator. With just a few mouse clicks, simulacra of her favorite Birkin bag, Motorola Razr, and Louboutin pumps would soon crash into the spikey-haired head of her virtual ex over and over again, speeding her on the path to marital catharsis.

Whack An Ex [The Starter Wife]
Previously: The Grazers Call It Quits: June 2007 Edition [Defamer]