Kardashian: "I find it very odd that a man involved in a car accident would write a blog right away, instead of focusing on what's going on with the accident."
Tipster: It's not like I was standing in the intersection banging away on my sidekick - OMG, KK in person!!! - xo xo, gossip girl. And I wasn't in the accident. I stuck around to help the bleeding dude get out of this car, then I directed traffic til help got there, gave my number to the cops if they needed to call me as a witness, then continued on my run. I got back home and was so pissed off that someone would act like that, that I bitched about it to my friends on the phone. Then I sat down and bitched to the virtual friends at defamer, who I figured would share my consternation.

Much more, after the jump:

"I was driving in Reggie's black Escalade..."
Just when I thought the whole sense of entitlement thing surrounding this incident couldn't get worse, I find out that she's in Reggie Bush's car - the same Reggie Bush who is under investigation by the NCAA for accepting gifts from an agent while he was an "amateur" athlete at SC.

"...down Beverly Blvd. A Dancing With The Stars production assistant was in the car in front of me and my dance partner Mark was in the car behind me. We all had a wardrobe fitting and were going into the CBS stage lot, where our fittings are. There was an accident and an ambulance in the only drive way for the lot..."
There was no ambulance already at the scene. The ambulance was behind the tow truck, both of which had their flashers on, which was behind your dumb-ass Escalade that had pulled into the emergency lane to snake around the cars that had jammed up due to the accident.

"...however just one lane of the driveway was blocked. There were two still open to drive right into the lot. My phone rang and the production assistant from DWTS was calling to say to follow him right into the lot. We just had to drive around the wreck—the other lanes into the lot were open."
She certainly was on the phone, so this makes sense that it was the show's producers. But the security guard wasn't letting anyone past the wreck cuz there was glass everywhere. There's only 1 lane total at this gate, so I don't know how there could be 2 lanes open in addition to the car that was wrecked in the middle.

"While I was driving slow and looking at the accident..."
You were snaking around parked traffic with your cell phone. We have established this.

"I rolled my window down to see what was going on..."
Your window was closed. I remember this, because when I banged on the side of the car, all I saw was some super-dark tinted side window.

"...and a man tapped my car twice with his hand saying don't slow down, it's just an accident."
What??!!!!??? This is the batshit insane part. I was the only "man" anywhere near this accident, as I was standing in the street. While sometimes if I've been drinking, I've been known to slur, when I'm dead sober, at an accident site, I'm pretty sure "don't slow down" sounds fairly different than "are you fucking kidding me? there's been a serious accident - GET OVER" Also, omitted is the entire exchange when she told me that she knew there was an accident but not to touch her car.

"Mark yelled from behind, in his car, that we are employees and going into the lot..."
The only two cars directy behind her were a tow truck and an ambulance.

"The man said 'ok,' and then said 'that was Kim Kardashian,' as I was driving off..."
Batshit insane part two. Ignoring the reasons WHY I would say it, who the fuck would I say "that was Kim Kardashian" to? I'm the only person standing in the road! Is this to insinuate that I was so star-struck by her that I would fudge all these other details, thereby wrongfully spinning her as different than the saint she so clearly is?

"So, how this story got twisted into me being a 'spoiled brat,' yelling 'don't touch my car,' or whatever was said, is just bizarre!"
That's right. Just bizarre. In fact, I'm a spy from one of your competitors on Dancing With the Stars (oops DWTS as you referred to it). My life's goal is to disparage your character so that America votes for Cloris Leachman instead. You got me.

"There were many cars in front and behind me going into the same parking lot. It's the main entrance into this CBS lot, so it's very busy in general. Why he would single me out, I'm not to sure."
"To sure" what?

"I did look at the accident and saw the paramedics talking to the passengers in the accident..."
You didn't look at shit. After you told me not to touch your car, you snaked in front of the line of cars and gunned it through the yellow light.

"...and know how scary accidents are."
Not as scary as spinning your narcissism into some bullshit tale of victimhood.

Sadly, for a celebrity whose every utterance and sexual encounter is usually preserved for posterity, there were apparently no cameras with Kardashian at that time, so we'll simply have to reconstitute the incident from the two perspectives provided. Whatever transpired, we hope that Kardashian has learned the lesson that when a bleeding accident victim desperately needs assistance, it's best to stop and help. Not only will the ambulances be able to maneuver around your Escalade more easily, but it could even lead to a positive, leering TMZ piece entitled, "Kim K Isn't The Only One Who Got Rear-Ended!"

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Screams and Smiles at Magic Mountain [kimkardashian.com]

In today's installment: Janice Dickinson, Quentin Tarantino, Ellen Page, Sarah Silverman, Jason Schwartzman, Scott Speedman, Gene Simmons, Kristen Bell, Rachel Zoe, Adam Levine, Mila Kunis, Seth Green, Stacy Keibler, Reggie Bush, Dave Holmes, Holland Taylor, Busta Rhymes, and Lil Wayne.

Tuesday, April 1
· Beverly Hills Post Office, Main Branch: Stacy Keibler in line ahead of me, and Holland Taylor in line just behind me. Both women were gorgeous in everyday makeup and neither seemed at all "above" standing in the ridiculously long line with the regular folks at the post office. I did notice that Ms. Taylor was sending a package to Martin Sheen; how adorable.

Friday, April 4
· 8000 Sunset, @ 9:30pm: Quentin Tarantino sits not inside the arthouse cinema but instead on the newly installed tacky "patio furniture" of the renovated plaza. Talks with a Lisa Loeb look-alike, but she has long black hair, and is not an actress type. They sit next to each other, but facing, on a park bench. Tarantino wears no hat, a black leather jacket, jeans, & black Asics soccer style low tops with white socks that I can see because of his awkward bench positioning. All I hear him say is a rat-a-tat-tat "Yeah, yeah, ..uh huh, of course" while jutting his chin out as Loeb-alike talks. Both hold paper coffee cups. The HQ for TMZ is in the same complex - I was hoping they would look out their window.

Saturday, April 5
· West Hollywood 7-11 on La Cienega and Holloway @ 5:50am: I ran into Busta Rhymes. He was riding shotgun in a red Cadillac CTX. (the 2 seater) His buddy bought a newspaper and he looked at a people magazine and contemplated buying batteries. I was buying Gatorade and coffee. I walked up to him and said "Bus a bus?" He did not respond for a second, I thought he might be talking to someone via Bluetooth. It was only him and I and the cashier. So I said "Busta of flipmode squad" He then turned toward me and laughed, said yes and gave me a bro's handshake then walked out.

Sunday, April 6
· Brewery Art Walk: Scott Speedman wandering about alone, looked confused, cute but much stockier in person than I would have expected. Still maintain Felicity should have ended up with Noel.

· Tampa International Airport @ 6pm: I had been to the NCAA Women's Final Four, aka Lesbian Super Bowl. I stopped to get a meal at TGI Fridays to help my hang over and lo and behold at the bar I see sex god (?) Gene Simmons! He was conspicuously leaning on the bar, facing out, scanning the restaurant. I couldn't get over his ridiculous hair.

Monday, April 7
· Hollywood And Highland: Treating some out-of-town relatives to the sight of other people's out-of-town relatives staring at the sidewalk, I took refuge at the Sephora. As weekend celeb sightings are rare, particularly at touristy places, I was a bit stunned to see Sarah Silverman browsing the skin care section. She looked just like she does on television, which is... or is not... a compliment.

· Beverly Center Chipotle @8pm: Reggie Bush. Short and stacked. Pretty sure the black on black Bentley in the fifteen minute parking was his. Unfortunately it can't compete with my '92 Subaru.

· Red Lion: Dave "I Wanna Be A VJ But for Some Reason Jesse Camp Won that Show but now he's working at a pet store or so I heard" Holmes was at Trivia Night (and even on the winning team). I don't know if they showed up especially for trivia or just happened to be there. He was with a group of about 12 completely average seeming people, including one guy that must have been his brother because they had the same vaguely smug but disarming look about them.

Tuesday, April 8
· Mani's on Fairfax @ 8pm: Saw Jason Schwartzman grabbing something to go from the bakery. Cute, short, almost as exciting as the delicious piece of cherry pie I was devouring mid-sighting.

· Graumann's Chinese Theater: I'm at Graumann's Chinese theater and I'm about 93% sure I am sitting behind Janice Dickinson. I have not seen her face, but she keeps yelling at the ads before the movie. Now I'm 100% sure. She keeps commenting loudly after every trailer. This was so worth the 11.50 per ticket. When she walked out of the theater she said "yawn" loud enough for pretty much everyone to hear. Awesome. Whore...she's also totally skeletal and ate two buckets of popcorn then left for a while. Bulimic coke whore...."

· WeHo Trader Joes, afternoon: i was in weho trader joes yesterday afternoon and i heard this woman on the phone talking loud and it bugged me so i looked and it was Rachel Zoe in the cereal section moving to the trail mix section stuffing her basket and talking but that wasn't the disturbing part, maybe she was feeding the homeless, not herself. but she was wearing this huge fur vest (i am not a activist but that vest could make me one) that looked like a bear was hugging her and these ridiculous shoes that she was trying to balance on and and her face was so well just so bloated looking.......people trust her to dress them?

· Hotel Cafe: Dancing With the Stars pros Mark Ballas and Derek Hough played with their band "Almost Amy." In attendance: The Cheetah Girls, Cristian de la Fuente, Cheryl Burke, Julianne Hough, Priscilla Presley, Kristi Yamaguchi, Shannon Elizabeth, Fabian Sanchez, Pasha (from SYTYCD). Derek and Shannon were looking particularly cozy after the show.

· Beverly Center Chipotle: None other than Weezy F Baby (Lil Wayne) in front of me after yet another Chipotle visit. He was in a Dodge Nitrosomething with 29s or 30s on it. I wanted to get out of my car and tell him what a huge fan I am but I was afraid of getting clapped.

Thursday, April 10
· Adam Levine, in a giant green cowl neck sweater, shorts, high socks and driving shoes; buying many spirits at Mayfair. He is slender and handsome enough to obviously not be drinking all that alone later.

· Was at the Forgetting Sarah Marshall premiere party last night, complete clusterfuck. Mila Kunis looked pretty and skinny. Kristen Bell looked pretty, skinny and really happy. Amber Heard.. skinny and wooden. Seth Green was short and friendly. The skinny guy from Superbad, the comedian with a gap in his teeth from Human Giants [Ed. Note - That'd be Paul Scheer]. Busy Phillips sort of channeling Anna Nicole. Paul Rudd - as dreamy as expected. Swoon.

Friday, April 11
· Hollywood Farmers Market: I saw Ellen Page at the Hollywood Farmers Market. She looked very Juno in a hoodie with the hood up. She was buying brussel sprouts or something similarly healthy. Good eating habits Ellen!

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]