·You'll never believe it, but Nikki Finke also stayed home, instead publishing dispatches by the New Times chain's resident nerd-hack Luke Y. Thompson. And what a run he's had, with his marathon Thursday bringing us hints at a Keanu Reeves love-in (we'll get to that) and the indelible image of Rose McGowan's Red Sonja knife-licking. She and Robert Rodriguez apparently remain a couple despite all kinds of fun rumors otherwise and, obviously, despite the worst movie poster to ever debut at Comic-Con. That said, hemogravy is hot with the ladies these days, so maybe we're the ones out of touch.

·LYT draws praise, meanwhile, from David Poland, who also decided to crunch some numbers from the comfort of his own couch:

How ironic is it that every studio in L.A. is scrambling to get to San Diego this week/weekend, but The Dark Knight barely did anything (except for very basic viral marketing stunts) last year and underperformers Beowulf, Halloween, The Incredible Hulk, Shoot 'Em Up, Southland Tales, Drillbit Taylor, Spiderwick Chronicles, Hot Rod, and others all had a big presence at The 'Con.

Well, yeah, but none of them had a Fanboy Blowjob Train. Must we really spell it out?

·SpoutBlog has some of the most comprehensive coverage emerging from San Diego, including a real-time account of Wolfman star Benicio Del Toro falling asleep, a peek at Rocknrolla with attention-loving Gerard Butler and a Lego statue that will never be accused of assaulting its Mom.

· Amy Smart, Crank 2, public sex, etc.

· The NY Times brings a typically dignified tone to the pants-wetting in Hall H, featuring cameos by Hugh Jackman, Mark Wahlberg, the gang from Twilight, and a version of Waiting for Godot starring Dakota Fanning in the title role.

· Finally, /Film features a play-by-play of clips from the eco-sensitive Keanu Reeves remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still — better than the real thing, we're sure. Very sure.

boomp3.com

One could hear a pin drop at the San Diego Comic Con on Thursday as Robert Rodriguez's muse Rose McGowan popped a squat to take a photo. The alabaster-skinned actress saw a group of really cool looking zombies and wanted to take a picture of them. As McGowan began to crouch down, Rodriguez whistled to McGowan to indicate that she was about to flash the crowd. Much to the dismay of the army of virgin attendees, McGowan repositioned herself. One of the geeks shot Rodriguez the evil eye and mumbled under his breath, "Like I was going to waste my time with a remake of Red Sonja, anyway."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pic]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.