Sheikh Mohammed Al-Munajid told Saudi Arabia's Al-Majd Television that his beef with Mickey is that he is a mouse, a creature that Islam sees as "repulsive and corrupting."

Al-Munajid explained that Islamic law refers to the mouse as "little corrupter" and a creature that is "steered by Satan," and grants permission to all Muslims to "kill [mice] in all cases."

Therefore, according to Islamic law, insisted the sheikh, "Mickey Mouse should be killed."

The fatwa has since proven deeply divisive to Palestineans, who only last year were treated by Hamas to a powerful "Martyred Mickey" episode of the popular children's show Pioneers of Tomorrow — a crisis of allegorical politics that now stands to shatter the rodent relations so painstakingly advanced over the years. We pray for a swift, peaceful accord; it would be a shame to see Sarah Palin's foreign-policy skills wasted on such a trifle somewhere down the line.

• Muslims: We must kill Mickey Mouse [Israel Today via THR Esq]

Newsroom's course of action to once again regain its status as the official celebu-haunt serving overpriced, mildly edible fare is radical, if not brilliant. The Verminators won't be needed here. Instead, we hear that Paris Hilton will be outfitted with a bullhorn, and her adorably, giggly, child-like voice will lure the rats away from the restaurant to the nearest production company, where one lucky rat will compete to become her new BFF. The losers will be killed and fed to her army of chihuahuas.

• Newsroom Cafe: I Smell A Rat [TMZ.com]