The set-up: It's some reality show on TruTV (formerly CourtTV) called The Principal's Office. Two male students, Brandon and Logan, are brought into the titular chamber to discuss the grinding epidemic plaguing recent dances. This is definitely one of those clips that rewards repeat viewings. We're currently fixated on how the blockhead principal ducks out of their kiss goodbye, as if they've tried it on him before.
· Don't fuck with Angelyne. Angelyne will cut you. Then run you over with her little pink Corvette.
· Rejoice, despondent Pushing Daisies fans! (Do they have a name yet? How about Pie-Holers? Hmm...That's filthy. Pie-Holers it is!) A movie could be in the works.
· The resplendent Richard Rushfield is blogging a new season of American Idol for the LAT, adding to an impressive body of work that has yet to win a Pulitzer. The campaign starts here.
· "At the after-show party, she insisted on using me as her taxi, riding about the green room on my back. She only stopped when somebody brought in a basket of puppies, which she killed with a hammer. All the staff had to cheer every time she cracked one of their tiny skulls." Gee—we knew The Weakest Link's host was a bitch, but we had no idea. [via b3ta]

UPDATE: Scrubs lives.

Still—you never know! Brooke Shields has chosen to go the full denial route with Lipstick Librarians, and it's been working out for her! (The studio custodians and security have been great about keeping up the charade that the show is still in production when she arrives on the lot every morning.)

UPDATE: The network did pick up Scrubs, set to premiere in a one-hour episode on Jan. 6. WTF? They pluck Daisies but re-animate Scrubs? Why can't that show die? It's so irritating. And we're told that yes, Zach Braff comes with the package, for one final swansong season.
[THR]

Each actor is crazier than the next," whispers a staffer employed behind the scenes at the war-torn program. "And they all pretty much hate each other."

And they're finding it increasingly difficult to hide their mutual disdain from viewers. Per my snitch, the male lead "cannot stand" his love interest, "and it's obvious by their complete lack of chemistry."

The good news is, the nightmare may soon be over for all concerned. Although the show enjoys a rabid cult following and solid critical support, its ratings are such that a third season is looking very unlikely.

Our first thought was Dirty Sexy Money, as things have been a little flat in the bedroom between Billy Baldwin and his transexual love interest lately. But does any critic actually like this show? Then it dawned on us that except for that little "drama" mention, everything described sounds a lot to us like Pushing Daisies—Ned seems more interested in the dog than Chuck, and the ratings-challenged series has indeed enjoyed a "rabid cult following and solid critical support." Our third candidate is Private Practice, which we've never seen, but hey—anything's possible. We leave it to you now to get to the bottom of this.

• Blind Item: War Declared Backstage at Cult Fave [EW]

Obama picked up a half-hour of prime-time air from CBS, NBC and Fox on Oct. 9 for $1 million apiece. The Live Feed reports that ABC offered its own 8 o'clock block around the same time, only to be rebuffed by the campaign for unknown reasons. Meanwhile, the participating networks have yet to learn what the candidate has in mind for his special — whether he might stick with Ross Perot's tried-and-true "Pie-Chart Filibuster" model from the 1992 campaign, or something a little more contemporary, like a modified version of Jeopardy! where every uplifting clue yields the queries "Who is Barack Obama?" and, we guess, for those three Daily Doubles on the board, "Who is Joe Biden?" We'd hate to see anyone left out.

• ABC will not air Obama ad [The Live Feed]

• Truthful TV Title Cards [Glark]

Among the most deserving members of the group are, in no particular order:

Jim Halpert on The Office: because laughter is everything. Plus, he's tall.
Ned on Pushing Daisies: Tall, too! And he makes pies. While wearing an apron. With perfect hair and dreamy eyes and that tall, lean frame...let's just say we'd forgive him if he accidentally killed us.
Amanda Tanen on Ugly Betty: If we swung that way, this would be our girl (free clothes!), and from our imagined male point of view, well, same thing: free suits!
Michael and George Michael Bluth from Arrested Development: Best. Threesome. Fantasy. Ever. And afterwards, Michael Cera might bake you cookies, while Jason Bateman played you his favorite records!
Lindsay Weir from Freaks and Geeks: Sure, not Swimsuit Issue-worthy (at least back then, but these days in ER, yum), but in a way, Lindsay was the original Juno MacGuff.

And the incomprehensibles:

Jack Bauer from 24: While we genuflect thrice daily to a poster of the real-life Kiefer, we are going to have to strongly oppose the choice of Jack Bauer. Are we the only ones who happened to catch the fact that his wife was tortured, raped and killed? Yeah, dreamboat for sure.
Jack Shephard from Lost: Yes, Matthew Fox is a fox, there is no doubt. And yes, he's a doctor, and sure, he may have saved, oh, a trillion or so lives. But he's got daddy issues, and we're not into being bossed around, even if it means saving the world (or whatever the fuck they're trying to save this season).
Dylan McKay from Beverly Hills: 90210: Again, hot. But as much as Brenda Walsh infuriated us with her teeth and her moody/wannabe actress/princess-y tendencies, we'd have dumped the too-cool-for-school druggie just on the basis of Squint Addiction.
Summer Roberts from The OC: We've been known to act a little high-maintenance from time to time, but this Cali girl took the term to new heights of offensiveness. Plus, she kinda strikes us as one of those high-school girls who'd pretty much just lay there and blab on her cell while you're pumping away.
Bree Van De Camp from Desperate Housewives: Seriously? Of all the (admittedly impossible-to-choose-from) old frumps on this old frump of a show, EW readers want the shrill ice queen in their sack? Thin lips + bony legs = thanks but no thanks.

And finally, the most crucial void on the list, the most adorable, dateable, loveable visage ever to cross our screens, was inexcusably uninvited to join the list of Effables: Bret from Flight of the Conchords. We don't know about you, but every episode has been permanently saved on our DVR and played repeatedly, from noon to night, to the dismay of our roommate. We'll let you tell us who the EW readers scathingly excluded from the list in the comments!

• READER PICKS: TV CHARACTERS YOU'D DATE [EW]