He also opened up about things he rarely, if ever, talks about, like how he was born with epilepsy and was mocked as a child because of it, and how his father was a drill sergeant when it came to playing the piano. As much as I love Prince, it seems like he's getting weirder, and not in the good exposed-butt-cheeks kind of way. Last night, he talked about how he believes in chemtrails, the conspiracy theory that the contrails left by flying jets are purposely laced with chemical agents released on the public for secret purposes. Also, his belief that our government should be based on prophecy and morals (as though it weren't already, but whatever) seems foolish for an artist to support, since morality is subjective. While his intentions behind these beliefs seem to come from a good place of love and understanding, it wouldn't necessarily be like that for many politicians or their censorship-friendly wives.

· On the Anna Nicole opera: "It is not going to be tawdry, it is going to be witty, clever, thoughtful and sad." Well, without even hearing a note, we can definitely say they've not remotely captured Anna Nicole. [LAT]
· Guess who's having the hottest Oscars after-after-party for the second year in a row? That's right: Indecipherable Unisex Symbol! Awooooooooo-ah! Hundalasiliah!
· "You're not my mummy: Mother's makeover on This Morning reduces baby son to tears" [Daily Mail]
· Here's a slideshow of disgraced celebrity pitchmen and women. Ah, yes...Phelps, Vick, Stone...they're all here.

Really?! The same man who once wrote the lyrics, "Pussy got bank in her pockets/ Before she got dick in her drawers," is being all judgey about other people's sexuality now? The same man who inspired Tipper Gore's Senatorial pearl clutching? Maybe his Christian spirit was there all along and we were just blind to it. We decided to go through Prince's old lyrics to see if we could figure out his progression from proud sexual panther to proselytizing Puritan. Take a trip in our little red Corvette of analysis below:

"Head", from Dirty Mind (1980)
Lyrics: "And you said/ But I just a virgin and I'm on my way to be wed/But you're such a hunk/So full of spunk,
I'll give you head/'Til you're burning up
Evangelical Evidence: I'll give you head, until you're burning up…IN HELL.

"Little Red Corvette", from 1999 (1983)
Lyrics: "Believe it or not I started to worry/I wondered if I had enough class/But it was Saturday night/I guess that makes it alright."
Evangelical Evidence: But come Sunday morning, you will have to atone for your sins. Also you're probably going to hell for what you did in that Corvette. Why do you think it's red? The devil is driving it.

"Purple Rain" from Purple Rain (1984)
Lyrics: "I think u better close it and let me guide u 2 the purple rain."
Evangelical Evidence: This one's easy. Prince was Baptized in the purple rain, and he wants us to follow him into that fabulous purple downpour.

"Gett Off" from Diamonds and Pearls (1991)
Lyrics: "Let a woman be a woman and a man be a man."
Evangelical Evidence: obviously Prince has been into stringent gender roles for at least 17 years. No pregnant men or other kinds of gender bending for this cat suit devotee in four inch heels!!!

"Lolita", 3121 (2006)
Lyrics: "If you were mine we'd bump bump bump."
Evangelical Evidence: Well it's not like he's lusting after another dude. It's just an underage girl! That's very Christian of him.

"Untitled" 21 Nights (2008)
Lyrics: "Who eye really am only time will tell/ 2 the almighty life 4ce that grows stronger with every chorus/ Yes give praise, lest ye b among . . . the guilty ones.”
Evangelical Evidence: this one is pretty self-explanatory. Though using numbers in the place of letters makes the baby Jesus cry.

*According to Perez Hilton, Prince was "misquoted." Somehow, we believe the New Yorker's fact checking team over a "Prince insider" anonymously emailing Mario Lavandeira, but we just wanted you to be fully informed.

Soup With Prince [New Yorker]
Tipper Gore And Family Values [NPR]

Earlier: Prince Says God Against Homosexuality

You’re sober now, but you’ve had a history with alcohol. What’s the craziest thing that happened to you when you were drinking heavily?

Tracy Morgan: When I was wilding? I got kicked out of Prince’s house. The last time he won a Grammy, we went to the pre-Grammy party. Free booze all night. Prince had his band in the living room. Everybody left the house except for me and my boy. It was 6 o’clock, 7 o’clock in the morning, the sun was coming up, and we were still drinking. And Prince and his wife were at the door in their pajamas and said, “Come on, Tracy, you’ve got to go.” And I was gay for about five seconds because he’s a pretty motherfucker. If Prince was a woman, I would go down on him. All the way down. Swell his vagina lips up.

We smell another 30 Rock cameo! Thank you, Tracy Morgan: Certainly, your depiction was unexpected and uneasily detailed, but we'd expect nothing less. Certainly, if anyone could engorge His Purple Majesty's heterosexually fantasized ladyflower, you could.

• Tracy Morgan Wants to Sex Up Prince [YBF]

1. John Cougar Mellencamp: After releasing his breakthrough album, American Fool in 1982, John added Cougar (his original surname) to his public persona. Although he'd won a grammy with the simpler name, Scarecrow went on to receive enormous commercial success post-name change. But during the late 80s and early 90s, John went through a "dark period," which showed on later albums. Was the Cougar too vicious for John's happy-go-lucky attitude?

2. Sean "Diddy" Combs: First he was Biggie's producer Sean Combs, then he was a rapper in his own right as Puff Daddy, and after the 1999 J. Lo court drama, tried to reinvent himself as P. Diddy, only to drop the "P." during a formal announcement on The Today Show in 2005. While all this reinvention kept Combs in the press, we've never been able to figure out why all these monkers are appealing; all we unfortunately envision when we hear any number of them is the unnecessary image of Combs sitting on the john. Are we alone?

3. Prince: Perhaps the most infamous name (symbol?) alteration in history, Prince decided in 1993 that he would only be referred to in print as that unpronounceable symbol incorporating "the male and female signs along with the alchemy symbol for soapstone." Despite the bold move, talk show hosts and anyone with the unfortunate task of having to introduce him at award shows found the move troubling, and a mini-backlash ensued. Inevitably, Prince Rogers Nelson (his real name!) wisely reverted back to his original stage name in 2000.

4: Muhammed Ali: The name Cassius Clay brings up images of the greatest fighter in history, swinging like a butterfly, stingin' like a bee. But after achieving massive success as a boxer, Clay took up with Malcolm X and and the Nation of Islam, confusing the masses by taking a Muslim name and devoting his private life to serving the Prophet. Just before the change, Clay had shocked the world by defeating undefeated Sonny Liston in 1945 at just 22. But his devotion to Islam ultimately sent him to prison, and after learning he'd gotten Parkinson's, the whimsical vocalist and arguably greatest boxer in history, was tragically remembered more for his mysterious choices later in life, rather than his achievements in the ring.

5: Rebecca Romijn and Courteney Cox: On a lighter note, these two actresses officially changed their stage names to reflect their new marraiges: Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and Courteney Cox Arquette, respectively. While feminism is certainly all about choice, and there's nothing wrong with theirs, Bex and Court's original monikers were so alliteration-happy, we were bummed when they insisted on reflecting their hubby's boring-by-comparison last names on screen. And look what good it did Romijn, who's back to her old (way better) title? And Cox; why mess with such an excellent, boner-triggering name like that by reminding fans that she married a guy with a Salvadore Dali mustache?

6. Clay Aiken: While Claymaniacs will be delighted to know (as though they don't already) that Clay's original name still incorporated "Clay," his birth name didn't quite sound as musical as the one he chose when auditioning for Idol: Clayton Holmes Grissom. We hardly think adopting Aiken is the source of Claymania, but his new moniker does sound a bit similar to "achin," which is what we suspect the majority of Claymaniacs fantasize about feeling during their naughtiest Clay sex dreams.

[Photo Credit: Getty]

• MILEY CYRUS OFFICIALLY CHANGING NAME [AOL]

"PRINCE is earning more than $5 million for his concerts at the Hollywood Roosevelt in L.A., and he's using the earnings to get the heck out of Dodge. Prince has told people these are the last concerts he will ever play in L.A., and when he's done, he's going to go live in Europe," said our source. Prince declined to say why he's going, but he won't be missed by some. "He made the hotel recarpet the penthouse suite in white shag carpeting and place a huge purple 'Prince' logo on one of the walls," our insider says.

Unlike that other pop-funk titan of the 1980s music charts who's been crisscrossing the globe in recent years in search of a comeback, we doubt Prince's relocation to Europe is motivated by a desire to launch a leprechaun-themed amusement park. Still, we wouldn't entirely rule out the possibility of the savvy entrepreneur branching out into the lucrative family resort market; 3121 Land could lure visitors from around the globe to its prime location on the outskirts of Düsseldorf, all eager to step into the world of the mysterious pop icon through attractions like the Alphabet St. shopping promenade (paved entirely in white shag carpeting) and thrilling Little Red Coaster.

• EURO-BOUND [NY Post]

I took this crappy photo from [my office] next to the Hollywood Roosevelt. It's hard to make out, I know, but a huge amount of suitcases have been coming off this truck all morning and going into the Roosevelt, all under the watchful eye of a motorcycle cop. We've all been watching for any clues to see if anything belongs to Prince, like anything monogrammed with a male-female symbol or an excess of purple. But how many other guests arrive with luggage by the truckful and get their move-in supervised by the LAPD?

We promise to keep you posted on any exciting developments in the time-consuming unloading of those 3,121 pieces of luggage, especially if our spy spots an item definitively identifying the van as Prince's, such as a fifty-foot guitar case suggesting the shape of Satan's infernal member.

• Prince Gives Something Back To Those Willing To Pay A Premium For It [Defamer]

For possibly the last time in Los Angeles, the royal purple carpet will be rolled out for his Hollywood homecoming and the artist has chosen the legendary hotel for seven exclusive, intimate performances commencing Saturday, June 23rd, 2007. [...]

Following every two-hour performance, fans can experience a late-night impromptu jazz set presided over by Prince.

VIP packages, including dinner at the Dakota (tax, alcohol, and gratuity excluded), will be limited to 130 seats, sold in pairs (65) for $3121.00. An additional 70, standing room only tickets will be made available for $312.10 each.

We'd caution not to fall for the "possibly the last time" business— a transparent tactic more typically employed by lesser, Farewell Tour whores like Barbara Streisand and Cher. If the price seems a little steep, at least it playfully incorporates Prince's latest obsession—the number 3121. The inclusion of an additional, highly spiritual zero before the decimal, meanwhile, will result in access to the ultra-exclusive after-after-party, where guests will be waited upon by a harem of veiled, pseudo-virgin backup dancers in the Horny One's sprawling, private suite.

• Prince in Hollywood [The Daily Swarm]

In today's episode: Will Ferrell; Prince; Vincent Gallo; Edward Norton; Alan Arkin; Greg Germann; Kristin Kreuk and Mark Hildreth; Johnny Weir; Bryan Greenberg, Paul Johansson, Geoff Stults, Evan Jones, Stacy Keibler and Olivia Munn.

· Exiting the Sherman Oaks Galleria last night (Wednesday, 5/30) my friend and I saw a bit of a commotion by the exit. Several joyous faces were focused on one guy who was wearing a baseball hat and sporting a fro/full beard combo. I quickly realized it was Will Ferrell and stopped to watch. He was chatting up the group that gathered and as he tried to escape someone stuck out their hand for him to shake and I saw up close and personal the slightly annoyed look on Will's face as he accommodated what was probably his millionth handshake of the evening. Then we followed him down the escalator several floors where he remained unnoticed and watched as he entered the valet parking area.

· Two sightings from the same day (5-30)...

Waiting at a corner on Melrose for the light to change when a big black SUV pulls up with the window down. In the passenger seat, motherfucking Prince looking great of course. Don't know what he is using on his skin but he practically glows. Nice to see he is not too cool to sit in the front.

Hanging around Franklin at night near La Poubelle when up strolls a very hairy Vincent Gallo, also looking good but in a different way. He met up with some friends sitting on the patio.

· Spotted Edward Norton chattin' it up in Raffles L'Ermitage bar in BH, looking dapper in a black suit and blue collared shirt. (night of 05/22/07)

· 5/30 7pm - Walked into Bangkok Cafe on Pico and who's one table over but ALAN ARKIN! He was sitting with an age-appropriate woman who I assume was his wife and a few other people. He was just normal and cool and probably now my favorite celebrity sighting.

· 5-30 Greg Germann at Whole Foods in Brentwood with a baseball cap on and salt and pepper hair that was heavy on the salt. He said his show wasnt coming back but he was sweet and funny about it. Nice silver Audi.

· Dinner with dad last night at BLD (his choice—he's still hep at 83). An actress type of the luminescent golden skin and eyes like deep pools variety was at the next table, obviously breaking it off with a ginger (that's what we call redheads in the U.K.) cool dork guy. He ate (appetite clearly diminished by the events at hand). She didn't. Nothing. Not a bite. Through my detective skills I was able to discern from her credit card slip that she was one Kristin Kreuk. Through my Google skills I was able to figure out that she has major roles in Smallville (thus, soon to be ex-boyfriend's Clark Kent style specs?) and some other pathetic WBish show that I can't remember now and can't be bothered to Google again. The guy seemed to be one Mark Hildreth, with a prodigious IMDB listing that stretches back to 1985. He's in the new 'Pirates' but don't get excited as before that it was 'Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus 3-D' Anyway, Dad thought the guy was sleeping at the table, but I'm pretty sure he was just experiencing the crushing blow of reality and future life without the luscious Kristin. They stayed for a long low volume exchange after paying the bill, she discreetly wiped away tears that didn't actually seem to exist (nice touch, fuckin' actresses!). Then they left.

· Better late than never: Memorial Day Weekend (Sunday) around midnight saw not-quite-out figure skater Johnny Weir chilling with a bevy of beautiful (female) blondes at Micky's in WeHo. Did not see him tip any of the Go Go Boys.

· Thursday, 5/31 at the Bryan Greenberg show at The Mint, an incredible list of B (C?) listers: "One Tree Hill" co-star Paul Johansson (looks younger in person, might be due to the fact that he acts and dresses like a 21 year old), "October Road" co-stars Geoff Stults (looks older in person, but still incredibly attractive) and Evan Jones (did Steve Zahn and Flea have some sort of crack/love baby?), Stacy Keibler (she was tall? And, um, blond?), and "Attack of the Show" hostess Olivia Munn (looking bloated and uncomfortable, no rhythm on that girl). BG was good but too skinny.

What the plans call for: On seven Friday nights starting June 16, the Roosevelt will close off its lobby at 9 p.m. Then, at 11:30 in the Blossom Room in front of 250 seated guests and an undetermined number of standing-room-only patrons, Prince (joined each week by special guests) will give a two-hour performance.

At 2 a.m., Prince's private chef will take over the kitchen of the Roosevelt's Dakota restaurant, which will morph into an after-hours dinner club. As part of a jazz ensemble, Prince will entertain diners until 4 a.m.

The early report lacks information on the price, but we'll assume that the cost will be high enough to ensure that attendance will be limited to the Roosevelt's usual crowd so that Lindsay Lohan can enjoy a relaxing evening of shouting, "Jesus Christ! Are you gonna play 'Red Corvette' or not? Fuck!" on each trip to the ladies room stall without worrying about outsiders judging her too harshly.

• Exclusive: Seven weeks of Prince in Hollywood? [LAT Buzz Bands]

While the intent behind Prince's decision to project his 30-foot shadow upon a billowing sheet in a manner that would spotlight his prolonged stroking of a devil cock large enough to poke a disapproving Creator Himself in the eye with its infernal, barbed meatus should be obvious, the AP still decides to ask the question:

Was Prince's pose phallic?

"The short answer is, of course it is," says Rolling Stone magazine contributing editor Gavin Edwards, who points out that on Prince's "Purple Rain" tour in the mid `80s, he performed with a guitar that would ejaculate, squirting water out of its end during the climax of "Let's Go Crazy."

The wily Satanic tandem of CBS and Prince obviously knew where to draw the line to avoid incurring the wrath of the FCC, as equipping his guitar to splooge gallons of a thematically appropriate, fiery ejaculate upon his backing marching band would almost certainly have resulted in fines that would have dwarfed those resulting from the relatively innocent exposure of Janet Jackson's armor-plated nipple.

• Prince's Halftime Imagery Questioned

· Pictured: Even in the post-Nipplegate era, FCC censors probably have no idea how to handle the image of a thirty-foot Prince stroking his enormous devil's cock in front of tens of millions of TV viewers.
· It looks like outraged fast food industry officials have finally caught up with Kevin Federline and sent a clear message about fucking with fry cooks on national television.
·Famous person falls down! (OK, semi-famous person.)
· Merely hanging out with Paris Hilton is now enough to qualify someone for a magazine cover shoot.

[Photo: Getty Images]