[The above video is NSFW for T&A. Our filthy-minded comrades at Fleshbot will be posting an uncensored version for those of you who want a gander at McSteamy's intsruments. Update: It's up. Go forth and review! ]

In the video (which we edited down from a 12-minute original), we see the apparently inebriated threesome — at one point Gayheart says she needs to lay down because she's so high — lounging au naturel in the fallen beauty queen's Studio City apartment, passing around the camera and, for giggles, discussing what their porn names should be. Dane settles on "Tuff Hedemen" (his favorite champion bull rider). Soon the threesome move to the bathroom where the two ladies disrobe and get into a jacuzzi tub while Dane takes over the camera duties.

The line between Hollywood success and failure is razor thin. The acting couple (the married in 2004) may not be at the pinnacle of the Hollywood talent heap, but they're about as successful as they could have hoped in their teenage years. Oh, and they're hoping to start a family! Dane, 36, moved to L.A. in his teens, landing bit parts in early 1990s TV shows like Saved by the Bell and The Wonder Years, palling around the Hollywood club scene (once dated Lara Flynn Boyle!) before winning stardom in Grey's Anatomy. Gayheart, 38, had her first big break in 1992 as the Noxzema Girl, and aside from accidentally killing a teenager crossing the street, she's made a career of film and TV roles here and there.

Peniche, 25, probably had a similar future in mind when she was crowned Miss Teen USA in 2002, but it wasn't to be. She was stripped of her crown for posing in Playboy (NSFW link). Peniche tried to leverage the controversy into a career, and knocked around on the Hollywood Z-list for a while. She got engaged to Backstreet Boy Nick Aaron Carter for a minute. There were a handful of TV and film roles, but lately, a source in Hollywood tells us, she's ended up working as a madam, working the Hollywood club scene as "Tristan Bailey." Her m.o.: When horny club dudes would hit on her, she'd tell them she was seeing someone…but, she could hook them up with someone who knew some smokin' hotties-for-hire. The dudes would then be redirected back to her service, and she'd occasionally turn a trick herself.

Recently she was thrown off Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab (where she was being treated for sex addiction) amidst back-and-forth accusations that she punched out a cameraman, entertained unsavory drug dealer types at the Sun Valley sober house, and stole money and personal belongings from her roommate, country singer Mindy McCready. As of late July, the Hollywood vice squad got a hold of Peniche's client list and the above video, which Peniche herself had been showing around to friends. The most damning part segment: Peniche lying topless in bed reading off a credit card into a phone. (Or maybe she's just ordering out?) Here's the evidence receipt, with the identities of the cops and the person who turned it over blurred out.

Oh, and a fun fact: This isnt't the first time Gayheart's been seen naked and high in a hot tub. This past June, the National Enquirer printed a 2003 photo of her in a bathtub with an unidentified woman and a crack pipe. As Dane comments while his wife gets naked with another woman again, he pays Peniche, who's facing a criminal investigation while they are not, a back-handed compliment: "You're, like, a good hang. I see you on the street tomorrow, you're one of Rebecca's friends."

Update: Dane and Gayheart's adorable lawyer Marty Singer hasn't sent us any legal threats yet, but he did get on the phone with TMZ to issue a threat against, well, us because the tape is "private, confidential." I haven't heard from him but you do have to chuckle when a man speaks of what he knows:

"From what I've seen it's a naked tape, not a sex tape." Singer added, "At most it's 3 people maybe wanting to have sex."

Oh, and look, his take-down request just arrived. Let me go read it.

With reporting by Mark Ebner.

Ok, sad thing first: a good Samaritan reset the password and tried to alert Sarah. But he also posted the new password, causing multiple people to try to log in at once, freezing the account for 24 hours. And now, the account has been deleted! Which is, as we said, maybe destruction of evidence? So for now this is, we think, all we'll get to see from this email account (if anyone finds evidence of saved emails, let us know.)

The full timeline of events, with corroborating evidence of the legitimacy of these screengrabs, is here. Here's why it all looks convincing:

• The emails to Ivy Frye, a Palin aide who's mentioned in the earlier email stories specifically wondering how best to hide her correspondence with the governor.
• The attached contact list (below) features an email address for husband Todd Palin that is legit. As well as an apparently genuine phone number for Bristol Palin and an address for Beth Leschper, Palin's deputy communications director.
• The email from Amy McCorkell, a known associate of Palin's from Wasilla who might have the governor's personal email address.
• Emails to and from Lt Governor Sean Parnell about a local radio talk host.
• Calls to the phone number listed for Bristol Palin apparently go to her voicemail.
• The public profile for the gov.palin address dates its last update to April of this year—well before she became McCain's running mate. So if it's a hoax, it's a hoax that began long before anyone outside of Alaska cared about Palin.
• We haven't seen these family photos before. Have we?
• The previously accessible public profiles for gov.sarah@yahoo and gov.palin@yahoo were both deleted at the same time.

Here are the screenshots of the emails saved before the account went dark, along with the contact list. It's newsworthy and we will not be taking it down!

CONTACT LIST

Beth Leschper (Beth Leschper SOA) [Edit]
beth.leschper@alaska.gov
Blanche Kallstrom (Blanche) [Edit]
mbkrdk@starband.net
Bristol Palin (Bristol) [Edit]
bristol_palin@hotmail.com
Chuck Heath (Chuck) [Edit]
chckheath@yahoo.com
fek9wnr@yahoo.com (Todd) [Edit]
fek9wnr@yahoo.com
ftb907@yahoo.com (Frank) [Edit]
ftb907@yahoo.com
Heather Bruce (Heather) [Edit]
khbruce@gci.net
ivy.frye@alaska.gov (Ivy SOA) [Edit]
ivy.frye@alaska.gov
ivyfrye@yahoo.com (Ivy Personal) [Edit]
ivyfrye@yahoo.com
Judy Patrick (Judy Patrick) [Edit]
jpphoto@mtaonline.net
kris.perry@alaska.gov (Kris Perry SOA) [Edit]
kris.perry@alaska.gov
krisandclark@yahoo.com (Kris Personal) [Edit]
krisandclark@yahoo.com
paymckhea@yahoo.com (Molly) [Edit]
paymckhea@yahoo.com
Roseanne Hughes (Roseanne Hughes SOA) [Edit]
roseanne.hughes@alaska.gov
Sally Heath (Mom) [Edit]
salheath@mtaonline.net
Sean Parnell (Sean Personal) [Edit]
sparnell@alaska.com
Sharon Leighow (Sharon SOA) [Edit]
sharon.leighow@alaska.gov
Sleighow@aol.com (Sharon Leighow Personal) [Edit]
Sleighow@aol.com
Track Palin (Track) [Edit]
track_44@hotmail.com

UPDATE:

ARLINGTON, VA — Today, McCain-Palin 2008 Campaign Manager Rick Davis issued the following statement concerning reports about Governor Palin's email and an invasion of privacy:
"This is a shocking invasion of the Governor's privacy and a violation of law. The matter has been turned over to the appropriate authorities and we hope that anyone in possession of these emails will destroy them. We will have no further comment."

Point one: legitimacy confirmed! Point two: I guess we'll have to blow up the internet now?

Update: Gene Simmons's lawyer has confirmed the sex tape's authenticity in a cease-and-desist letter sent to Valleywag. With Simmons's identity established, we've shortened the excerpts to the bare minimum: Simmons's face, unquestionable; the activity he's engaging in, unmentionable.

UPDATE 2: OK, maybe it's not them after all.

• Britney Spears Sex Tape [PornoTube]

Say what you will about Britney Spears, but she's a pro. Upon inspecting the photos from her recent, impromptu upskirt shoot, in which her genitals were amateurishly obscured by a badly positioned thigh, she vowed that the next time she disembarked from Paris Hilton's luxury automobile while a dozen camera-wielding "fans" aimed their telephoto lenses at her ladyparts, she'd helpfully hike up her skirt and deliver the unobstructed view they so assiduously sought. She'll undoubtedly be more pleased with these results than she was with her previous effort, but as a perfectionist, she won't be able to easily quell the nagging feeling that the photographers didn't capture her labia's good side, and will insist on exiting through the driver's side door on her next trip to Hyde.

NSFW pictures follow after the jump. You've been warned. (And there's an entire gallery over at Fleshbot, should you be so inclined.)

• Previously: Hollywood StallWatch: Spears And Hilton's Men's Room Takeover [Defamer]

Oh, and by the way: If you click on the picture, you can totally see some nipple (NSFW, obvs). Yay!

• Lindsay Lohan is a flasher [WWTDD.com]
• Previously: Lindsay Lohan s Chest To Make Triumphant Comeback [Defamer]

• 50 Cent Makes Paris Cry! [PageSix.com]

[Photo: Charles Wenzelberg]

Yes, that's Mini-Me Verne Troyer in a sex tape shot with his former live-in girlfriend at the couple's apartment. A third party has snatched up the tape and although no deal has been made, we hear dealer Kevin Blatt, who brokered the deal for Paris' video, is entertaining a $100k offer from SugarDVD to distribute the nastiness.

While we are still too mortified by the sight of Verne Troyer frenching some ho to properly collect our thoughts, we will go out on a limb and say that this sex tape will certainly prove to be more exciting that that snoozer of a vid that Kim Kardashian put out. And if the publicity gods are willing, maybe this means renewed hope for The Love Guru's second weekend at the box office, after all. Then again, let's hope not. See you in Gomorrah, peeps!

• Mini-Me Sex Tape: Avert Your Eyes [TMZ]

As we normally do when we're bored on a Saturday afternoon, we took a look around the auto forums for fun content. First things first was a trip over to our friends at VW Vortex where we found a delightfully mainstream almost-year-old thread that recently popped back atop the pecking order at The Car Lounge. Entitled "Celebrity Cars" — it appeared to be exactly what we were looking for — a by-no-means-comprehensive list of celebrities and the cars they drive. Excellent — something for us to write about. So we did some more pecking around and found a little site called "Celebrity Cars Blog." Even better!

So, without further ado, here's the best of what we found in an hour of searching. It's only 20, but it's a start. That's right, you heard us — a start. Now we need your help. If you're stuck inside tonight, we want to see what you're able to find. Wert said he'd help by hanging out in the comments below throughout the evening, so go ahead and have at it. Consider this like a "Bonus Question of the Day."

Kim Kardashian	Larry King	Adrian Grenier
Kendra Wilkinson	Audrina Patridge	Al Pacino
Ewan McGregor	Will.I.Am	Jennifer Garner
David Beckham	Miley Cyrus	Nicholas Cage
Conan O'Brien	Sienna Miller	Hayden Christensen
Larry David	Lauren Conrad	Simon Cowell
Daniel Craig	Jeremy Piven

[Inspiration from VWVortex]

The uncensored photo—very NSFW!—plus one more, is after the jump.

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

• Megan Fox Topless Pictures!!! [Egotastic]

"I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life,"

"I cannot believe what Howard Stern has done to me. In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth. They have done editing or some sort of trickery to make this horrible, horrible thing. Please accept my apology for them and certainly know I had nothing to do with this."

"If there was ever going to be a lawsuit, it's going to be over this. Just wanted you to know that I am completely devastated by this."

We think there's another way: A brokered Stern/Parton peace accord, negotiated by us, an utterly unbiased third party, who just happens to possess a stack of vinyl, DVDs, 8x10 glossies, saved ticket stubs to Dollywood, and menus from the tragically short-lived Planet Fartman restaurant chain in dire need of autographing. We beg of you—let the healing commence, before the proprietor of Kenny Rogers Roasters has his reputation sullied any further by intimations that he's the World's Greatest Chickenhawk.

• Parton "shocked" at Howard Stern radio segment [Reuters]

• Previously: The Cruise Indoctrination Video Scientology Tried To Suppress
• Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography [Amazon]
• Church of Scientology Statement

Again, celebrities: Dave doesn't want to rip you to shreds on national television, but if you're not going to help him fill the 10 minutes or whatever, he has no choice.

This particular trainwreck was predictable. The movie star has been generating embarrassing tabloid headlines for weeks with his slurry rap performances, to the point where some of his associates started insisting the whole thing was a joke. Phoenix then had to assure everyone he was serious.

Phoenix also announced that Two Lovers, the film he was sent on Letterman to promote, would be his last, since acting now bores him. So even if he hadn't been behaving erratically, Phoenix was not likely to have brought much enthusiasm to Late Show tonight.

Phoenix certainly knows how to turn on the late-night charm when he wants to; here he is on Letterman on 2005, sounding coherent and humorous (and wearing the same suit!) while promoting Walk the Line:

This time around, Phoenix has either come unhinged again, or wants the world to think he has. It's possible he's engaging in some performance art for the documentary his brother-in-law is making about him. But on Letterman, at least, where Phoenix grew increasingly hostile toward the host and crowd, the celebrity doesn't appear to be doing that sort of cool-headed calculation and planning.

At the end of the interview, Letterman says he owes an apology to Farrah Fawcett. Fawcett was considered his all time most disastrous guest — until now at least. Here's her 1997 appearance:

Best moments from tonight's show are above; the full CBS highlights reel is below:

• Paris “Lazy Left Eye” Hilton [Hollywood Tuna]
• Previously: Paris Hilton's Mystery Patch [Defamer]
• Things On Paris Hilton’s Body: An Update [Defamer]

First of all, we found the dress that Gayheart wears (briefly) at the the beginning of the movie. It's a Halloween costume called the "Support Our Troops Sexy Halloween Costume." Well, don't you worry, there is no sexy here!

As for Dane's pornstar name, Cocaine Manor, that could be true. There really is a Manor Drive in San Carlos, California, which is right near where he graduated from high school. Still no explanation on how he ended up with a dog named cocaine.

Thanks to some of the commenters, we gave a closer look to minute 2:54, where a random table is on view for a few seconds (sideways, natch). What is on the table? Another camera (ha!), a vase, a pack of cigs, a wineglass a candle, and something that looks suspiciously like a pipe. It's on the right, and it has a cylindrical shaft and a bulbous head. But it appears to be resting on something, so it's either inactive (you ever put a recently used pipe on something? Disaster usually ensues) or, you know, something else.

More suspicious is the cigarette that Gayheart and Peniche are smoking starting about 1:25. They both hold onto it for quite a bit of time, but no smoke is coming off it and it doesn't appear to get getting even smaller. Also, the tip seems to be glowing blue. Is it just not lit, or is it a "magic cigarette?" Or maybe it's one of these?

• Breaking: Dark-Haired Woman Likes To Have Sex, Presumably In A City - NSFW [Fleshbot]
• Kristin Davis Sex Tape Pictures? [Egotastic]

"I thought there was a seven-second delay," Rivers told MediaGuardian.co.uk. "They earlier showed a picture of a man with an obvious erection under his coat so I thought it would be all right."

"I have won an Emmy, been nominated for a Tony award, done every show and become an icon and when people ask me what is left in my career I have always said I don't know, but I have never been forcibly thrown out of a TV studio. It is another milestone," she added.

However, Rivers said she would still appear on the show again. "In a second. But they didn't give me my goody bag, which I am very upset about," she added.

The full, uncensored outburst is above. (We also enjoyed the nervous denouement, particularly when one co-host awkwardly attempts to move things along to the next topic.) And while Rivers expressed incredulity that the comments elicited hundreds of angry complaints from viewers, when she was shown one e-mail from a mother-of-three from Leeds who was "gob-smacked when that gormless woofter Rivers whinged with 'er grotty loo-mouth on me telly!" she realized just how easily offended they can be on the other side of the pond.

• Joan Rivers thrown off Loose Women for Russell Crowe outburst [Guardian]

After "The View" went off the air today, Joy and Elisabeth WENT AT IT backstage!!!!!

Joy jumped in Elisabeth's face about a comment she made about Joy not being able to plug her appearances because her act is "political in nature." This was in response to the controversy about the McCain t-shirt Elisabeth wore on the air on Tuesday.

Joy SCREAMED in Elisabeth's face, "If you do that again I will burn you down." Elisabeth turned beet red and started to stammer out something. And then Joy yelled, "Shut the fuck up" and stormed off.

Nobody backstage came to console Elisabeth who was left standing there. Not even Barbara. Not Sherri either.

If anyone else bore witness to the View battle royale, be sure to send us your accounts. Somewhere, a gratified Star Jones is surely cooing "Excellent," while indulging in a gastric bypass-approved, icy-cool dish of sweet revenge.

[Photo Credit: AP]

Previously:

• 'View' Audience Laughs At McCain Tee-Clad Elisabeth, Who Finally Promises to Stop Talking

Idolator's panel of experts seem especially unconvinced that it's real, noting the shabbiness of its cinematography and its suspicious "dorm room"-like set. Still, we suppose that you're going to want to make up your own minds about the issue, even if we remind you that no matter how hard you squint to convince yourself you've positively ID'd the video's star as your favorite drummer of limited rhythmic talents, you're probably just watching a couple of horny German libertines getting it on in front of a cheap camcorder.

UPDATE: It feels approriate to let you get the official denail news from Pitchfork.

• Is This Meg White's Icky Thump? [Fleshbot]
• Meg White's So-Called Sex Tape Gives Hacky Bloggers Yet Another Reason To Use The Phrase "Icky Thump" [Idolator]

When you're a Scientologist, and you drive by an accident, you know you have to do something about it, because you know you're the only one who can really help. We are the authorities on getting people off drugs. We are the authorities on the mind.... We are the way to happiness. We can bring peace and unite cultures. Now is the time. Being a Scientologist. People are turning to you. If you are a Scientologist, you see things the way they are, in all their glory, in all their complexity... It's rough and tumble. It's wild and woolly. It's a blast. It really is. It is fun. Because damn it, there is nothing better than going out there and fighting the fight, and suddenly you see — boom! — things are better. I want to know that I've done everything I can do, every day... I do what I can. And I do it the way I do everything.

[Video was part of a package as Tom Cruise appeared before the International Association of Scientologists to accept its "Freedom Medal of Valor." More background on Cruise and Scientology, mentioning the speech, in a 2005 article in Radar magazine.]

• Update: Paris Hilton Still Exposed—NSFW [Fleshbot]
• Previously: Today's Opportunity To See Paris Hilton Engaging In Videotaped Sex Acts [Defamer]

So, right here, Chris Noth is certainly wearing bronzer, but has he also gotten work done?

He looks like Tony Curtis!

Carrie was supposed to get married in the New York Public Library.

Charlotte's little girl gets bonus points for being unimpressed/annoyed with Carrie.

Do the girls go on Carrie's honeymoon with her?

OK, the pubic hair discussion was pretty great though. And Samantha's face was priceless.

And yay for Smith Jarrod!

Now That's Good 'Sex' [PageSix]
Earlier: OMG! It's The Sex And The City Movie Trailer!

The drawing looks so lifelike, some of the more graphic drawings left me taken aback, especially when he gives Princess Leia the Requiem For A Dream treatment.

It's interesting how many minor characters, from the Star Wars comics and books, Miravi includes in his art along with Leia and Padme. Because, honestly, how many Leia/Padme pics can you make? True everyone remembers Aayla Secura's sexy Twi'lek features way more than her name, but it's sort of amazing how porn makes you confront the scarcity of memorable female characters in the actual Star Wars movies. Just the fact that he had to bring Beru in (a character that had maybe four minutes of camera time) is pretty telling. Still, you gotta love the little droids pulling off Padme's clothes, makes the whole thing seem innocent... until you scroll to the next drawing.

[Cathouse Miravi]

All the conspiracy theories fail to mention or recognize the "mystery runner" that accompanied Katie in the race.

He wore bib # 6074, he does not show up or exist in the results database. He's the first runner in the history of the NYC Marathon to "not exist". He can be seen in photos on Flickr, we have the links on our site, just look in the comments of today, you'll see them.

The conspiracy fails when you see Katie has registered "split times" - however they could have been recorded by this "mystery runner, bib # 6074 - wearing her assigned timing chip - clearly adjacent to her at all times in the few photos that exists. Check out site, the photos on flickr, the NYC Marathon database - that runner is a total mystery....

One obvious explanation is that the tall, dark, and handsome mystery runner is Holmes's bodyguard, as the guy looks like he knows his way around a Krav Maga death-pinch. Still, that doesn't entirely rule out that Agent 6074's frequency-mimicking chip wasn't also receiving constant wireless dispatches from HQ, instructing him at one point to "detonate the fire hydrant by the entrance to the Queensboro bridge, then replace Runaway Bride with her bionic cyberclone during the ensuing confusion. Over."

UPDATE #1: Another mystery runner surfaces!
UPDATE #2: Runner #6074 I.D.'d?

• Katie Holmes & Dave Letterman : NYC Marathon Conspiracy? [Harlem 26.2]
• Katie Holmes Marathon Photos [Flickr]

(The NSFW link is here.) The shots, much as Schmidt described back when the couple was trying to legally block him from brokering them back in Oct. '06, depict Cross emerging from an outdoor shower, completely au naturelle in every sense of the word, and looking not particularly thrilled to be having her picture taken. Now, if you'll excuse us, we need to head out in search of a loofah, a bar of Lava soap, and the closest outdoor shower.

• Special footage of Desperate Housewives's Marcia Cross (NSFW) [bedtimeforbeavis.com via ONTD]

Here goes...

• Lindsay Lohan Recreates Last Nude Photoshoot Of Marilyn Monroe [NY Mag]

Hayden Panettiere posed in a very pin-up girl series of poses in this past December issue, Lindsay Lohan went fully topless in their January 2006 issue, and Nicole Richie played Moulin Rouge dancer, baring her tiny butt in the May 06 VF. While none of the three girls were underage (Hayden had just turned 18), the photos are far more soft-core porny than Miley's somewhat glamorous black and white snapshot.

And, as we all recall, the July 2003 cover of VF was all about "raining teens," featuring the likes of Amanda Bynes, the Olsens, and Lindsay Lohan long before they became the powerhouses they are today. More importantly, the underage stars were all shot looking like adults. They were sexy. They were pouting. The cover officially transformed them from smiley untouchable kids to Lolitas.

So, here's what we're wondering. What exactly is so horrifying about seeing Hannah Montana, from behind, covering herself up with a sheet? We've already seen her in short skirts on stage, and cleavage-enhancing dresses on red carpets. All we see here is her back. Frankly, the scandal heard round the world isn't breaking our eardrums. And we sincerely hope Disney agrees.

• MILEY CYRUS: I'M SORRY FOR PHOTOS [People]
• REVEALING PHOTO THREATENS A MAJOR DISNEY FRANCHISE [NYT]

Back in 1994 when Bruce Willis was still with Demi and still managed to maintain that sexy tough guy image, he revealed the full monty in Color Of Night. And the industry's most dedicated fan of showing off his package, Ewan McGregor, memorably lounged naked throughout several scenes in Young Adam. And we all remember the time from a chiseled Kevin Bacon subtly proved to the world how lucky Kyra Sedgwick is via steamy shower scene in Wild Things.

Before Ewan McGregor, Harvey Keitel was Hollywood's go-to full-frontal actor, stripping down for both Bad Lieutenant and The Piano. But our all-time favorite appearance by a male actor's schlong has to go to Mark Wahlberg in Boogie Nights. Yes, it was a hefty prosthetic, and no, we don't learn just how much junk Marky Mark is packing, but the highly anticipated revelation of Dirk Diggler's legendary package was worth waiting two porn-y hours for back in 1997.

[Photo credits: Entertainment Weekly, Celebritycandids.com, nudemalestars.com, Maxim, malecelebrities.biz]

• 'FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL' LETS IT ALL HANG OUT [LAT]

"Job one will begin the third quarter of this year, with delivery by Q1 of 2008. We're aiming for $57,500 as the sale price."

UPDATED 'KNIGHT RIDER' REVS UP TO RETURN TO NBC FOR SPECIAL TWO-HOUR MOVIE EVENT ON FEBRUARY 17 AS NEW KITT CAR IS REVEALED "Knight Rider" Cast Justin Bruening, Deanna Russo, Sydney Tamiia Poitier and Bruce Davison Participate at the Unveiling Event Showcasing the Customized KITT Ford Mustang to Be Featured in Movie Dave Bartis ("Heist," "The O.C.") and Doug Liman ("Mr. and Mrs. Smith," "The Bourne Identity") to Serve as Executive Producers; David Hasselhoff, the Star of the Original "Knight Rider" Series, Appears as a Special Guest Star in His Original Role as Michael Knight NBC Also Forms Partnership with Ford Motor Company That Provides for Unique Content Opportunity BURBANK - December 12, 2007 - As "Knight Rider" — NBC's iconic 1980s television classic that became a runaway success, comes roaring back to life on the network with an updated sequel that will air as a two-hour movie event on Sunday, February 17 (9-11 p.m. ET) — NBC unveiled the new customized KITT Ford Mustang to be featured in the series in a press event held at NBC's Burbank Studios today. The movie stars Justin Bruening ("Cold Case," "All My Children"), Deanna Russo ("NCIS," "The Young and the Restless"), Sydney Tamiia Poitier ("Veronica Mars," "Grindhouse") and Bruce Davison ("Breach," "Close to Home"). In addition, David Hasselhoff (NBC's "America's Got Talent") — who starred in the popular lead role as Michael Knight for four seasons during the original series — returns as the same character in a special guest-star appearance. Will Arnett (NBC's "30 Rock," "Blades of Glory") will provide the voice of KITT. Dave Bartis ("Heist," "The O.C.") and Doug Liman ("Mr. and Mrs. Smith," "The Bourne Identity") serve as executive producers. NBC also has an arrangement with Ford Motor Company that provides for a unique content opportunity that makes the Ford Mustang one of the stars of the movie. The three cars to be employed in the series include the KITT Hero — a Ford Mustang Shelby GT500KR that is playing the part of the everyday Hero car with 540 horsepower; the KITT Attack — a super high-speed version of the Ford Mustang Shelby GT500KR Hero car that transforms into Attack mode with the help of air-ride technology and specialized body parts — and a KITT Remote, which is a driverless Ford Mustang Shelby GT500KR version of the Hero vehicle.

As the original story resumes, the new KITT (Knight Industries Three Thousand) is absolutely the coolest car ever created: its supercomputer capable of hacking almost any system; its weapons systems efficient; and its body — thanks to its creator's work and nanotechnology — is capable of actually shifting shape and color. Plus, its artificial intelligence makes it the ideal crime-fighting partner: logical, precise and possessing infinite knowledge. It is the ultimate car — and someone will be willing to do anything to obtain it.

Sarah Graiman is a 24-year old Ph.D candidate at Stanford University, following in her genius father Charles' (Davison) footsteps. But when men attempt to abduct her, Sarah receives a mysterious call from KITT warning her that he's a creation of Charles, who also invented the first KITT 25 years ago — and that her father is in serious danger.

Sarah and KITT track down her best friend from childhood, Mike Tracer (Bruening), a 23-year-old ex-Army Ranger, whom Sarah hasn't seen since he left home at 18. Having served in Iraq, Mike is now jaded and lost and initially resistant. Eventually he agrees to help Sarah and the two set out to discover who's behind the attempt to procure KITT and find Charles. Along the way, Carrie Rivai (Poitier) plays the agile yet tough FBI agent who has a long-standing friendship with Charles and Sarah. Due to those ties, she is brought into the mix to help in the search.

David Andron is supervising producer and writer. Steve Shill ("Dexter," "The Tudors"), also a co-executive producer, directs the two-hour movie from Universal Media Studios and Dutch Oven Productions.

UPDATE: A reader informs us that it's a screen cap from a trailer for Bobby Long, which you can view here. Looks like we might have to endure Travolta after all.

• Scarlett Johansson Mystery Pic [Golden Fiddle]
• 
  
• Previously: But How Good Is Scarlett At Coloring Inside The Lines? [Defamer]

To that end, Defamer worked with a trio of Marilyn Monroe experts in an effort to get to the bottom of Keya Morgan's outrageous claims. The team of Mark Bellinghaus (one of the foremost Marilyn Monroe experts/collectors in the world), Ernest W. Cunningham (author of The Ultimate Marilyn) and freelance journalist Jennifer J. Dickinson to put together the following piece. It's one of the longer pieces that we have ever published at Defamer, but we think that it's well worth your time. And with that, please enjoy. — MDG

DEBUNKING THE MARILYN MONROE "SEX TAPE" HOAX
By Mark Bellinghaus, Ernest W. Cunningham and Jennifer J. Dickinson

On June 26, 1952, Marilyn Monroe testified in court (as pictured) to protect her own reputation from accusations that a mail order pornography ring was selling pictures of her and that she was a participant in this process through solicitation of sales by letter writing. Along with her attorney, she debunked these claims and the pictures themselves, and the two men who created this scam were found guilty of misdemeanor charges, and Marilyn Monroe's name and reputation were cleared.

Nearly 56 years following her own victorious court appearance, Monroe's name is once again being affiliated with a fabricated pornographic claim. Now it is time to have the name Marilyn Monroe cleared once again of false allegations.

Keya Morgan, 38, New York City based memorabilia collector, has spawned a rumor of 16 mm film footage said to be Marilyn Monroe engaging in oral sex with an unknown male participant in the early 1950's when she was just a starlet. Morgan claims that this is an illicit copy of an FBI classified film of which a copy was made before the original was confiscated by the Feds. According to Mr. Morgan, he brokered the sale of this claimed 15 minute lasting reel to a wealthy New York Businessman for $1.5 million.

"You can see instantly that it's Marilyn Monroe," said Morgan—"she has the famous mole. She's smiling, she's very charming, she's very radiant, but she's known for being radiant."

The happy buyer of this supposed film chooses to remain anonymous but says he has no plans to market the tape. Morgan states: "He's just going to lock it up."

This tale of the sex tape follows on the heels of last month's Marilyn scandal, in which a fellow in Las Vegas called a news conference to display an unknown photo of nude Marilyn, but it turned out to be just nude Madonna. Please click here and here to read our reports on this story.

The real "Marilyn Monroe Nude" pictures are well-documented. She posed nude on red velvet for photographer Tom Kelley on May 27, 1949—photos that showed up for years on calendars and in lawsuits. Lawsuits for obscenity usually turned out to be the Kelley nudes, and were dismissed.

About this same time a short nudie film called The Apple, Knockers, and the Coke Bottle, began making the rounds. It's composed of grainy footage of a bare-chested young woman amusing herself -she's Arline Hunter, a Marilyn lookalike but clearly not Marilyn.

When a journalist or a tabloid show stumbles over a nude photo or nude film footage, the immediate response is usually Marilyn! Or Unseen Marilyn! Or Nude Marilyn!

But if it's not a Tom Kelley red velvet photo or Marilyn in the "Something's Got to Give" nude swim, then it's Arline Hunter and her apple.

If it's none of those, then it's pornography, and it's not Marilyn. She didn't go there.

There are too many holes in the Keya Morgan story. Having talked with Mr. Morgan in our own interview over the phone in the summer of 2007, he spoke quickly and non-stop of his planned television documentary, of conspiracy theories into Monroe's death, and about his alleged friendships with all three Monroe husbands. He claims he was one of the last people to speak to James Dougherty and gave the similar scenario about Dougherty's final words as has been rumored about Joe DiMaggio - that both former spouses on their deathbed spoke about seeing Marilyn on the other side.

In general Mr. Morgan was a name dropper, especially when it came to those notorious for supporting the conspiracy theories involved with the story of Marilyn Monroe. However, he wove into our conversation his claim that he dated Mariah Carey and Renée Zellweger.

The most recent sensationalism of this supposedly existing film footage generated by Mr. Morgan, ties in with the usual opportunistic conspiracy theories that are out there. What Keya Morgan is promoting equates to questionable stories generated simply to sell another book or push another cheesy documentary. Just looking at Mr. Morgan's cast list is enough to know that this is more of the same conspiracy rehash. There's John Miner, Jack Clemmons and Thomas Noguchi, who have changed their stories over the years and cashed in on the various Marilyn Monroe murder theories by being featured in books, articles and television specials.

Keya Morgan went on and on when we were on the phone, speaking of this usual cast of characters. At the time of our conversation with him, we immediately discerned that he was one of them only out to exploit Marilyn Monroe and to come up with something new to fuel the rumor mill of her life.

Yet Keya Morgan claims he would not have gotten his name involved in this latest story, if there was harm to Marilyn Monroe. But he is already too late - Keya Morgan himself is causing harm to the legacy of Marilyn Monroe by creating this outrageous and absurd fantasy (he did not participate in it—he created it!).

There are a few questions that one must immediately ask, the litmus test that proves Mr. Morgan's story about the supposed sex tape to be as bogus as the one caused by the perpetrators against Marilyn Monroe in 1952.

· The film was supposedly made of Marilyn Monroe as a starlet. If filmed in this time period of Monroe's life, why would the feds have cared about the activities of a young starlet, considering that Marilyn Monroe had not reached the heights of fame at the time this footage was claimed to have been filmed?

· "You see instantly that it's Marilyn Monroe - she has the famous mole." This is a quote by Keya Morgan, which is one of the flimsiest pieces of evidence ever presented. Just because this alleged film has a person with a mole, it's instantly Marilyn Monroe?

· Essentially Morgan is claiming that this is a bootleg copy of a classified FBI film. So if an original is classified, why would the FBI allow this public brouhaha in the press and not stop this sale from taking place? Why would this film copy not be destroyed?

Keya Morgan claims to respect Joe DiMaggio (it is alleged that DiMaggio tried to pay the informant $25,000 for the film and the offer was refused), and Marilyn Monroe even greater. Then why would Mr. Morgan allow this sale considering his "respect" of DiMaggio and Monroe? If he was such a collector looking to protect Marilyn Monroe especially, why would he not keep this supposed film safely in his own collection?

Stay tuned, but you're sure to learn nothing new from the Keya Morgan upcoming documentary, except the usual repetitive death theories (namely, that she was murdered). And Keya Morgan's time in the spotlight for this recent spin is nothing more than an opportunity for him to do just that - soak up some extra time in the limelight with his invented story about a fake flick, at the expense of the legacy of Marilyn Monroe.

Mark Bellinghaus is the leading Marilyn Monroe expert and official expert witness in the Queen Mary/Marilyn Monroe fraud Class Action Lawsuit; Ernest W. Cunningham is the author of 'The Ultimate Marilyn' and plaintiff in the Queen Mary/Marilyn Monroe Fraud Class Action Lawsuit; Jennifer J. Dickinson is a journalist based in New Jersey and a mother of two.

[Photo: Marilyn Monroe, pictured with her attorney on June 26, 1952 testifying in her own defense in Los Angeles Court, when there were accusations that pictures of her were being sold in a pornography ring. It turned out that the accusations were bogus, as were the pictures, and two men who created this scandal were found guilty.

Credit: The Mark Bellinghaus Marilyn Monroe Collection]

Clearly, Criss Angel — who has always scored a ridiculous amount of tail for someone who wears guyliner — is one to fawn over. He's got way more going for him than Hef: sperm count, lots of cool tats, and most importantly: magic.

But Holly still isn't copping up to her tricks, even after photos surfaced last week of the two canoodling in Sin City. Yesterday on her MySpace, where she suspiciously (guiltily?) lists the magician's A&E's show Mindfreak as her fave television show, she had this to say about her two-timing ways:

Anyway, Criss and I are just friends right about now . . . I love how that totally innocent picture of us means we are not just dating but "going public"...

But today, her denial was nowhere to be found on the page. Hmm...maybe Criss Angel made it dissappear?

The Hef-ster also says he and Holly are still an item ... for now.

"She is still my girlfriend," he tells Usmagazine.com in a new interview. "Now will that last? I don’t think anything lasts forever.

At least not without Viagra.

[Photo Credits: Getty Images, X17]

• Playboy's Hugh Hefner: Holly Madison "Is Still My Girlfriend" [US Magazine]

We'll leave you to share in Kimmel's musical shame without further preamble; by the end of Silverman's impressively catchy confessional (note to striking WGA members: she says she wrote it in October!), you'll be more than ready to cast aside your guitar and get to the important work of fucking Matt Damon.

• Jimmy Kimmel Live [ABC.com]

With the General now going full-tilt into the Transformers movie merchandising and product placement, we're thinking we're going to be seeing a lot of pictures like the one above and the rest in the gallery below. Above we've got all of our favorite bots all lined up pretty-like in their vehicular alt-modes...and all of them are GM products. Well, except for that Saleen Mustang over there on the right...and yeah, Starscream there. Unless of course Starscream's a Saab, and we just can't tell the difference between Saab's and the vehicles they were "born from." And speaking of galleries, make sure to check out the ability to pop up 800 and 1280 sized photos, the links are right underneath each of the pictures. Also, as always, we invite you to check out all of our Transformers coverage via the mini-page or the full Transformers gallery, located below the first. – Ray Wert

Related:
GM An Official Transformers Movie Partner, Rick Wagoner To Play Megatron?; This Is Our Country, This Is Our Autobot: Transformers Trailer Hits The Web, Features Camaro Concept [internal]

1. Embarrassing As It May Be, We're SATC Obsessives: Before you start with the eye-rolling and the Old Maid stereotypes about Sex devotees, consider this: during a scandal like this, you need a few of us around. We've admittedly seen every episode, meaning we've memorized all four girls' aging faces. Davis, with her ever-perfect arched eyebrows, skin as smooth and shiny as porcelain, and nose just ski-slopey enough to pass for "perky," either has an identical twin sister, or put all those unique features to work in her X-rated debut.

2. Kristin Davis Has Been Single For Decades: SJP is long-married with the cutest son in the world to boot, Cynthia Nixon has that whole lesbian crowd to knit with, and Kim Cattrall can milk the slutty Sam Jones facade until she's all shriveled up. But Kristin? Aside from a fling with Alec Baldwin, the 43-year old is still living a life of singlehood, just like her small-screen counterpart Charlotte always feared. With hopes dashed, a hunky long-schlonged wannabe actor might find it easy to convince Davis to join him in a taped sex session. His dick gets famous, and Davis proves she's not an old shrew.

3. Hello? SATC: The Movie Is Coming Out In Two Months!: Like Paris Hilton before her, Davis has been in Hollywood long enough to know how well sex tape scandals can do for business.

You be the judge: do you really think these spitting images of Davis' are the real thing? Or is she the victim of what the Germans like to call a doppelgänger?

[Photo Credits: Scott Fayner, The Blemish]

• SCOTTFAYNER.COM EXCLUSIVE [Scott Fayner]
• KRISTIN DAVIS MIGHT HAVE A SEX TAPE [The Blemish]
• DAVIS DENIES SEX TAPE CLIP IS HER [AOL]

1.) She's good at finding hiding spots... you know, in case of paparazzi.


2.) Hailey's father [right] performed a tummy tuck — free of charge — on Kate Gosselin, at the request of his wife [left], who was a huge fan of Jon and Kate Plus 8, and noticed that Kate's stomach became stretched after carrying six babies at once. Hailey's parents were on an episode of JAKP8 (in which Kate gets plastic surgery). Her mom seemed like a crazed fan, saying to the camera, "I can't wait to meet [Kate] today. She's somebody I'd love to help, I'm going to help. Kate is a very outgoing person. Kate is very friendly. I mean, from hello you feel like you've known her. She's like a girlfriend without even knowing her."


3.) She's willing to help a bud out.


4.) She has a mugshot. Us is reporting that in 2005 (when Hailey was an 18-year-old college student in Indiana), she was arrested in a parking lot at three in the morning, after an officer saw Hailey and her friends passing around a pipe "consistent with marijuana." (The case was settled out of court.)


5.) Her Facebook boxes are also consistent with marijuana.


6.) She's into words of motivation. The synopsis of her favorite book seems really applicable to her BF's sitch: "This story is about adjusting attitudes toward change in life, especially at work. Change occurs whether a person is ready or not, but the author affirms that it can be positive. His principles are to anticipate change, let go of the old, and do what you would do if you were not afraid."


7.) She's into this photo of her self.


8.) She's into dudes.


9.) Hailey's friends are learning how to deal with all of this.