Gawker: defamer, pitches

Bob Odenkirk On The Art Of The Pitch

Mark — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 17:21:03 EDT

If you somehow need a justification for investing the five-and-a-half minutes of company time you could be spending trying to convince that the reservations desk at Osteria Mozza that your boss has placed a bomb under your chair that he'll detonate if you can't get him a table on six hours' notice, think of the above short as more of an instructional film on the art of the pitch than a comedy video. As anyone who's ever been through the experience can tell you, anticipating the responses of the theoretical development exec sitting across the desk from you by imagining him as a richer, better tanned, and profoundly brain-damaged version of yourself is a helpful thought-exercise that can help you quickly close a deal.

Bob Pitches A Movie [Superdeluxe]

Secret Pentagon Plan Sought To Create Most Powerful Gay Bomb Since 'Showgirls'

Seth — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 19:12:37 EDT

With news that a Berkeley watchdog group has discovered an abandoned Pentagon plan to develop a "hormone bomb" that would turn enemy soldiers into lusty, same-sex-craving flesh addicts, producers—whose antennae are always attuned to a juicy, plucked-from-the-headlines story—instantly went into a Gay Bomb movie pitching frenzy. Studio executives were soon inundated with varying takes on the basic Manhattan Project-meets-The Birdcage premise. ("Ours is a musical!" "Ours is from the Gay Bomb's point of view!" "Ours dares to keep the cameras trained upon steamy displays of insurgent-on-insurgent action!") Ultimately, it was the little-known indie team who envisioned a Dr. Strangelove update, featuring Jake Gyllenhaal in full cowboy regalia bareback riding the Gay Bomb out the bay doors of a mirror-tiled B-52, that won Hollywood over for its bold, fabulous vision.

Pentagon Confirms It Sought To Build A 'Gay Bomb' [CBS5.com]

UCLA's TV Development Course Gives Students Six Minutes In Pitch Heaven

Mark — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 12:09:39 EST

Today's LAT sits in on UCLA's new TV Development course, where Tomorrow's Showrunners (at least the ones who aren't learning the business by experiencing firsthand the severe consequences of botching a lunch order for a grumpy writers' room) develop series ideas and get practice pitching them to a panel of Real Television Executives, who lend some of their precious time on the remote chance they'll hear an idea they can later steal and rush into development. The wide-eyed students, who have not yet had their souls devoured and shat out by the industry, are still brimming with adorable optimism over the possibilities of the grand medium and the valuable connections they'll make during the semester:

Television is the "primary medium of our time," said Byron Hudson, a student who wants to participate in "cultural dialogue." He described his pitch as "a 'Northern Exposure'-esque character-driven dramedy." Because movies are getting dumb and dumber, he said, television is where he can "push the envelope."
Sebastian Matthews hopes to create a groundbreaking series like "Lost" or "Heroes." "There's something very special about telling your favorite stories to 14 million people at once," he said.

As he sat at a table with friends waiting for class to begin, he said he suspected that more than a grade might be at stake that evening. "It's a big opportunity," he said, referring to the panelists who would be judging his idea — a story about a ladies' man who runs a business to help less successful guys win the girls of their dreams. "If I put myself in the shoes of an executive and I'm here amongst creative young people and somebody has a great idea ... then why wouldn't I keep in touch?"

Of course, the class's midterm pitch sessions are not an accurate simulation of real life, as the students are afforded an entire six minutes to sell their ideas to a panel of professionals; eager learners like the ones above won't learn the cold realities of the TV business by having their spiels cut off abruptly after mentioning Northern Exposure ("Do we look like we're in the business of quirky and low-rated?") or hearing a development exec they thought they'd connected with not even waiting until they're out of earshot to tell their assistant, "Burn the business card of that guy who's trying to sell me Hitch."

You have 6 minutes. Go sell it. [LAT]

Annals Of Insane Movie Pitches: 'Possum Trot Cloggers'

Mark — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 14:09:26 EST

Armed with nothing more than a well-worn pair of Stevens Stompers, a scrappy team of background dancers, and a crazy dream that her romantic comedy set against the backdrop of competitive clogging might one day find its way onto the big screen, writer/actress Julia Fowler took to the roof of a local parking structure, where she would perform perhaps the first clog-pitch in Hollywood history. THR reminds us once again about why we love this town so much:

As she prepared with a series of quick stretches for what would be an unorthodox pitch session, several casually dressed executives gathered in front of a makeshift black floor measuring 20 feet by 14 feet.
This'll be memorable, if nothing else," whispered one seen-it-all exec. (The company where this particular version of the pitch took place declined to be named.)[...]

Fowler stepped forward onto the unconventional dance floor, and then she and a group of costumed dancers exploded into stomping and hopping. The floor of the structure vibrated as if an earthquake were hitting the city. First, the execs' jaws dropped, and then they broke into smiles. [...]

As a break from the routine of a conventional pitch meeting, the gambit was a hit. "If (the dancing) was on a DVD, I'd just pop it in and watch it while I was doing other things, like sending e-mails or reading," one executive said. "Oh yeah," his colleague agreed. "This was much better. This was cool." But all the executives acknowledged that, despite how excited they may have been, there was no guarantee of a sale.

Unfortunately, despite an exhausting schedule that saw the Possum Trot Cloggers team clog-pitching their hearts out all over down last week, the project remains unsold, as even such an attention-grabbing display of passion may not be enough to overcome the tragic myopia of producers and studio executives who barely wait for the dancers to finish before whispering a little too loudly amongst themselves, "Yeah, cool...but dude—it's a movie about fucking clogging."

'Cloggers' creator hopes steps lead to stardom [THR]