1. The Dark Knight - $26.03 million
Tripping up most of the world's most esteemed box office prognosticators—even us, and we're never wrong!—once again was bat-eared juggernaut The Dark Knight. Like a seasoned welterweight pro who knows the fight has 12 rounds, Knight ceded to Pineapple Express until Saturday, when it surged ahead of the stoner crime opera to easily take the weekend. Children, take out your chalk and slates: Plus $26.06 brings us to $441.5 million, making it...? That's right: the third-highest-grossing domestic film of all time, ahead of Shrek 2, poised to creep ahead of Star Wars for the slot behind Titanic by this week's end.

2. Pineapple Express - $22.4 million
Just as the Pineapple kids were firing up a Friday afternoon fatty and declaring that Batman, in no uncertain Korean terms, should "prepare to suck the cock of karma!" they were served up a lung-singeing cloud of Badpod dust. No matter: $40.4 million in five days is better than any dead-of-summer comedy has any right to do. Judd Apatow can proudly carve another notch in his bedpost, moments before an exhausted Seth Rogen rolls over and keeps his creative life-partner awake all night with deep, satisfied snoring.

3. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - $16.113 million
ATTENTION: Hazardous toy recall. If you recently purchased a Rick's Wheelie Motorcycle for your child as part of KFC's The Mummy promotional tie-in, destroy it at once. Your child won't choke on its small parts (the way they do on the accompanying meal's chicken wing bones), but they might start emulating the heroics of Brendan Fraser—potentially forcing you to sit through an entire showing of The Mummy itself.

4. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 - $10.77 million
Now showing at West Hollywood's Tomkat theater in conjunction with this sequel's opening is The Brotherhood of the Traveling Chaps 2, an all-male, S&M-themed take on the touching story of a circle of lifelong friends bound by their mutual affection and previously agreed-upon safe words.

5. Step Brothers - $8.9 million
We literally have nothing left to say about Step Brothers, so we'll let star Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly do the talking with Step Brothers Duel—an interactive viral marketing effort sure to cheer you up on this death-filled Monday! (We couldn't get the image upload to work. Figures.)

• WEEKEND BOX OFFICE August 8–10, 2008 [Box Office Mojo]

WHAT'S NEW: Pineapple Express is exactly what we needed in our post-Dark Knight hype doldrums — an unapologetically puerile, profane, violent and really fucking funny stoner comedy that will provoke neither death threats nor over-the-top box-office chatter. That said, the two films will square off for No. 1, and frankly, these are the only Summer Games we're interested in. We alluded yesterday to Pineapple's striking opening-day take; its $12 million was the best Wednesday opening ever for an R-rated comedy in August (or some other ridiculous milestone), and Thursday's $6.2 million was a decent enough follow-up as well. We're calling our shot for a Pineapple upset, even if it has to cheat with a two-day head start: $29 million for the three-day and $47 million for the five-day, versus TDK's $26 million over the three-day frame. Take it to the bank.

We're also fond of Elegy, the sober Philip Roth adaptation that arguably features Penelope Cruz's best English-language performance; other new releases include the long-awaited (we think) Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2; the segregated Mardi Gras doc The Order of Myths, the historical wine-snob dramedy Bottle Shock; and the Anglo-Jewish-soccer-coming-of-age flick Sixty Six.

THE BIG LOSER: None, believe it or not — with no Kevin Costner or Eddie Murphy films on the docket, everyone and everything seems to be set for a good weekend.

THE UNDERDOG: To the folks down on the brilliant documentary Man on Wire because of its occasional reenactments and other genre-bending tricks: Fuck off. This chronicle of Phillipe Petit, the French daredevil who walked on a tightrope between the World Trade Center towers 34 years ago yesterday, is by any means a gripping drama of ambition, friendship and, in the end, the "artistic crime of the century." Director James Marsh splices new interviews into Petit's film and photo archives for a behind-the-scenes procedural every bit as astonishing as last year's No End in Sight — and obviously quite a bit more fun. We could go on all day, but just take the recommendation and run. It's brilliant stuff.

FOR SHUT-INS: This week's new DVD's include this year's Best Foreign Language Film Oscar-winner The Counterfeiters, the flatlining Heather Graham comedy Miss Conception, the Abigail Breslin/Jodie Foster effort Nim's Island and, shockingly not until now, Get Smart: Season One.

All right, your turn: Is this the week The Dark Knight goes down? And does it even matter with Tropic Thunder around the corner? Or are you more of a Traveling Pants follower? Be honest — we're all friends here. Call your shots!

There—all settled. We haven't seen this much fuss over a T-shirt design since VoteForPedroGate, when a City of Industry town hall representative accused the producers of Napoleon Dynamite of decal plagiarism. Frankly, we're more interested in the exchange that followed, when two hot chicks interrupted the interview:

Girl: You look familiar.
Franco: I dunno. Have we met?
Girl: I saw you on screen an hour ago.
Franco: On the street?
Girl: No! On the movie screen! You were in the movie we just saw!
Girl 2: I loved it. I'm [Name redacted].
Girl: I'm [Name redacted]. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Franco: Hi. I'm James.
Girl 2: Where are you from?
Franco: Well I'm moving here to New York City very soon ...
Publicist (interrupting): You know girls, this is the Daily News right here ...
Daily News: Give me two seconds, and then you can tell him everything that you ever wanted to.
Girl (grinning widely): Like all my favorite sexual positions?
Franco (turns to the Daily News and smirks): I'll borrow your tape recorder for that!

The starstruck admirer then went on to describe for Franco how she most enjoys copulating holding a Shark-Eating-Kitten pose she learned in Hatha Yoga class—an intricate two-person posture in which the larger and stronger of the pair "devours" the smaller, fluffier one from behind.

• No, James Franco didn't steal that T-shirt idea [NY Daily News]
• Wed Openings: 'Pineapple Express' $10M [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

After filming a scene for the upcoming season of Desperate Housewives, Eva Longoria Parker took out a stack of bills and began to count out loud at a very high volume. One crewmember asked if Longoria Parker was going to practice her stealth tipping skills, but the popular actress said that her husband is the undercover tipper in their relationship. Another crewmember thought that Longoria Parker might be headed to the Spearmint Rhino to make it rain. Longoria shook her head and said, "Wrong. All wrong. It's my snack money for when I see Pineapple Express at the Americana tonight, dudes. Skittles and James Franco, crazy delicious!"

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

While waiting in line for a screening of Pineapple Express, famed siblings Macaulay and Kieran Culkin got into a very heated debate over the quality of their bottle water. Macaulay felt that while the water could've been a bit colder, it was still refreshing and satisfying. However, Kieran felt that water was bland and too predictable. Macaulay pointed to his brother towards the various brands of flavored water available at the theater, but Kieran just shook his head. A crowd quickly formed around the brothers who asked the brothers to debate more topics. One onlooker commented, "These two guys should be the guys replacing Ebert & Roeper. You can really tell that they don't like each other."

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

The original WOWCH shirt:

The Pineapple Express poster:

A closer look at Franco's shirt-wearing:

On WOWCH's blog, the company points out an interview in which Franco credited the shirt's design to director David Gordon Green. Yea right! WOWCH is demanding free tickets and popcorn to a showing of Pineapple Express to make up for what is, in all likelihood, the loss of hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of licensing fees (we just made that figure up). Justice!

• Late Show

Potheads and action? Inherently comic, for as most anyone who has lived in a college dorm can attest, stoners are to action as the Tilt-a-Whirl is to driving.

To enjoy stoner silliness is not to advocate an unlawful activity (says one whose post-college pot experience is limited to the Revereware-in-the-kitchen variety). My sentiments about marijuana are pretty much like those about guns. I firmly believe in their control - except on-screen, where they are crucial for entertainment value.

Just as you can be antigun and enjoy Dirty Harry, you don't have to be stoned to enjoy stoner comedy.

We were surprised, however, to not see the Defamer-approved instant classic Pineapple Express on the list of all-time great stoner comedies, headed up by Lebowski, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and Dazed and Confused. History will surely remember otherwise — even if, by cruel definition, its core constituency cannot.

• Smoking the funny stuff [Philadelphia Inquirer]

Produced for an estimated $90 million, Tropic also has been supported by $30 million or more in advertising, a media campaign roughly comparable to other R-rated comedies. Meantime, promo appearances by its ensemble cast have included the three amigos showing up in person on American Idol, the MTV Movie Awards, by video at Comic-Con and at Cinema Expo. ...

All the humor-laced promos, combined with sustained tubthumping by publicists, have lent the air of an event film that's out of proportion to any reasonable earnings prospects.

Superbad, an R-rated comedy released last Aug. 17, opened to $33.1 million and fetched $121.5 million domestically. The Apatow-produced comedy bowed a week after action comedy Rush Hour 3 debuted with $49.1 million.

In this case, Tropic opens a week after Pineapple Express, another gleefully naughty R-rated comedy from Team Apatow. So we've got one stoner flick, one Hollywood satire, both essentially unpromotable by conventional prime-time standards. What could the difference between that and a steaming Ratner mean for Paramount/DreamWorks? Likely nothing on opening weekend, when Tropic could ride to $45 million on Cruise and Downey buzz. After that, though? Watch out for a gruesome bout of box-office cannibalism, interrupted every few minutes by innocent bystanders requesting two more tickets for The Dark Knight. The horror, indeed.

• August's hot topic is 'Tropic Thunder' [THR]

JOVIAL actor Seth Rogan [sic] found out the hard way that just because it's your premiere, doesn't mean you can do anything you want.

Rogan [sic] was at the Maxim party for his new flick, "Pineapple Express," on the rooftop of the Solamar Hotel in San Diego where, spies said, he was smoking a funny-smelling hand-rolled cigarette. One onlooker said, "He was told to put it out immediately or leave." A rep for Rogan [sic]- who told Elle this month, "I have a terrible case of I-wanna- smoke-weed- all-day" - declined to comment.

Or leave? His own weed-movie party? That's bogus. Frankly, we're surprised Rogen didn't pull out his current Stoned Actor's Guild membership card, or wave a MedicAlert bracelet in security's face with the phrase "Allergic to You Harshing on My Mellow" engraved on its underside.

• WEED ALERT [NY Post]

• Late Show

Over all, American studios depend on foreign markets for roughly half of total revenue. But Apatow-produced films like the Will Ferrell vehicles Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, did more than 90 percent of their theatrical business domestically. And the Apatow-directed 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up had more than 60 percent of sales at home.

The numbers should give pause to Hollywood. When the summer selling season is over, studios will probably collect far less from international markets than they would have with a larger roster of high-budget fantasies like Spider-Man 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. Last year, those two movies did very well at home, then fared even better around the world.

At least until Apatow deigns to an international slob-comedy diplomacy mission to shoot Superbad 2 on Michael Cera and Jonah Hill's study-abroad journey in Paris, the trick may be to just make the movies worse, hints The Times: What Happened in Vegas and Night at the Museum each outperformed their domestic grosses in international release. This could be as simple as outsourcing scripts or casting Ashton Kutcher, but in any case, we hope he does it soon; word on the street is that OPEC hates the trailer for Step Brothers.

• When a Film's Comedy is Lost in Translation [NYT]

boomp3.com

James Franco, star of the upcoming Pineapple Express, made a face after smelling something akin to rotten eggs at the Art Party at the Whitney Museum. However, he was quick to deny that he had any responsibility for the overpowering odor. Franco said, "That was not me, man. Don't place the blame on me. I know that you're looking at me like I did it, but nope. Not me." Franco was unable to come up with a source of the foul stench, but did point a finger in the direction of the media outlets at the event.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

In three of the summer's funniest comedies, "The Foot Fist Way,""Pineapple Express" and "Tropic Thunder," the Virginia native is pummeled and tortured, blown up and gunned down, bloodied and humiliated — an oeuvre of movie pain (and moreover, squirmy humiliation in the vein of Ricky Gervais) that has fast-tracked McBride from working the night desk at a Burbank Holiday Inn to co-billing alongside Hollywood heavyweights such as Will Ferrell, Seth Rogen and Ben Stiller, all inside of three years. [...]

The comedian's college buddy David Gordon Green directed McBride in "Pineapple Express" after giving the comedian his sole movie acting credit (prior to "Foot Fist"), a character part in the writer-director's 2003 indie romance, "All the Real Girls." [...]

"The interesting thing about Danny," Green pointed out, "he's never auditioned or gotten a head shot."

We recommend that you take the time to savor these superstar-breakout moments, for they are precious and fleeting—soon to be replaced by an endless parade of foreign-accented, sexually-overactive screen-cretins stringing five-minutes'-worth of choice comic material over 90 minutes of Rob Schneider-boosted filler.

• Is Danny McBride the next comedy superstar? [LAT]