This next clip is more amusing than sad. Sci Fi Wire reposted the "Patrick Swayze Christmas" carol that Mystery Science Theater 3000 made based on his classic movie Road House (currently being rerun on Spike).

This next video, we can not explain at all. It is listed as a "tribute" to Patrick Swayze, but it's really just some fat guys pretending to be wrestlers and fighting on a trampoline. Neither of them look like Chris Farley though.

That took you back in time, didn't it? Well, if you really want to relive the old days, you can now purchase this 1993 Patrick Swayze calendar on eBay.

And if you really want to wear your heart on your sleeve, there is this Dirty Dancing T-shirt. Sorry, it only comes in stale Pepto Bismol color.

The thing that really brought a tear to our eye though—no, it wasn't a horrible remix of "She's like the Wind," it was this press release headline:

Hallmark Movie Channel HD Honors Patrick Swayze with Encore Performances of King Solomon's Mines.

Oh, it's really come to this.

We all remember the Texas-born Swayze from his roles in Dirty Dancing and Ghost, but the actor's real break came from the television adaptation of North and South, a Civil War drama. The actor went on to star in a number of hits, like Point Break.

While we all have fond memories of Swayze's silver screen hits, we are most impressed by his courageous cancer battle. Though he knew his days were numbered, Swayae signed on to star in A&E's The Beast. And, honestly, whatever you'll say about the show, his gumption was commendable. We've previously honored Mr. Swayze with a video tribute, but here;s our absolutely favorite performance from Dirty Dancing, the sleeper hit that helped make him a star.

RIP, Patrick. You touched many lives and, as cynical and mean as we may be, will always be adored

That Easy A movie—a teen flick loosely based on The Scarlet Letter—is shaping up to have a pretty respectable cast. Lisa Kudrow, Stanley Tucci, Patricia Clarkson, Thomas Haden Church, and Malcom McDowell have all been announced as costars. Oh, and also Penn Badgley from Gossip Girl. Feh. [Variety]

A&E has canceled Patrick Swayze's clunky bad lieutenant drama The Beast, which is sad for him. [Variety]

Speaking of beasts, British heartthrob Alex Pettyfer and American oddity Mary-Kate Olsen have joined High School Musical's Vanessa Hudgens in the film Beastly, a retelling of the Beauty and the Beast story. Pettyfer will play a handsome but arrogant little shit who gets transformed into an ugly person by Olsen and, presumably, saved by Hudgens. Unlike its animated predecessor, we do not see Oscar nominations in its future. [Variety]

Oh, that's cute. Heroes is still bothering to hire actors to be on their show. Robert Knepper, who played T-Bag on Prison Break, has joined the cast as a villain referred to as the "Carnival Barker." Ohhh twissssted. [THR]

Dimension has tapped Dan Milano, who's written for Adult Swim, to craft the script for their planned Short Circuit remake. Because what the world needs now is more remakes. And robots. Always robots. [Variety]

Terrence Howard is prepping a TV project based on the life of Ronald Farwell, an LAPD detective who infiltrated the Black Panthers in the late 60s and 70s. [Variety]

CBS says that they see light at the end of the tunnel, recession and ad revenue wise. Funny because most of their viewers are also heading towards a bright light. (Because they're old. And dying.) [THR]

Initial reports, as well as the statement from Swayze's flack, falsely blamed a radio station in Florida. But it turns out that station reported no such thing, as reported by Matt Cherette of gossip site Oh No they Didn't, who pins blame on BNO for "breaking" the story on Twitter. (Update below.)

There's no question the story spread quickly there (see screenshot at left). Or that it spread widely on email, where we got a tip, or on the Web.

But there's something about Twitter. Just last week it was the hotbed of a gay-marriage hysteria that fooled even the Los Angeles Times. A month earlier, it was #amazonfail, outrage over a gay-book ban that wasn't. (Although, repetition on Twitter is so powerful that there are some who still think there was something to that.)

To a certain extent, this is because Twitter is becoming the mass internet broadcasting technology of choice. Oprah's on it! And so is every fake-news patsy with a BlackBerry or netbook.

But the service also makes it especially hard for slightly more discerning readers to see where information is coming from. Twitter streams of widely varying credibility all live under the same namespace, "twitter.com/." And with only 140 characters at their disposal, users turn to URL-shortening services that further obscure sourcing.

Eventually, people will learn to be no more idiotic within Twitter than they are on media they understand better, like blogs, email or the Web as a whole. Sadly, that's not saying much. And it's not likely to happen anytime soon.

UPDATE: News accounts blame a different KISS station, Jacksonville's 97.7 FM, for sending out the initial Swayze rumor on Twitter.

The interview will air tonight in the ABC special Patrick Swayze: The Truth, and Swayze begins by noting how long he's lasted so far:

Still, he admits, "I'd say five years is pretty wishful thinking. Two years seems likely if you're going to believe statistics.

"I want to last until they find a cure, which means I'd better get a fire under it," says the star, who denies he is on his "death bed." [...]

As for his smoking habit, the actor has "cut back" but says quitting for him is not a "priority."

Hollyscoop brings breaking news that Suzanne Somers approves of Swayze's conduct. "Pancreatic [cancer] is terrible," she said, but noted that Swayze is "one of the lucky ones. Whatever he’s doing, it's right!" Duly noted, Suzanne Somers.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Patrick Swayze: I May Only Live "Two Years" [Us]

Swayze, 56, told Lisa, his wife of 33 years, and his brother Donny that he doesn't have long to live.

"Lisa phoned Donny in Los Angeles and told him he need to come to Chicago, where Patrick has been filming TV show The Beast. She was crying and scared Donny to death," the source told National Enquirer.

"Donny got the impression his brother was already on his deathbed because Lisa was saying Patrick wanted to say goodbye. She couldn't stop crying."

Swayze has been undergoing pioneering Cyberknife radiotherapy at California's Stamford University Medical Centre, and had been making a steady recovery from the illness.

In August, one of our tipsters at the Chicago shoot of The Beast wrote in to say, "Patrick does NOT look good, even in full makeup, very sunken and worn, frail even. Beautiful day for a shoot, not too hot or humid, but the poor guy should really slow down and stop pushing himself." Sad news all around, and best wishes to Swayze's family.

[Photo Credit: Splash]

• Patrick Swayze 'says goodbye as cancer spreads' [News.com.au]

• WATCH VIDEO

Strange how many Billy Bob Thornton co-stars have died prematurely (Ritter, Bernie Mac, J.T. Walsh, Heath Ledger). Thank goodness Morgan Freeman (Levity) and Shia (Eagle Eye) survived their crashes and Patrick Swayze (Waking Up in Reno) is coming back from cancer or we'd be talking about the Billy Bob Curse. Not trying to make light, just think it's eerie.

And don't forget Jim Varney, whose final role before dying at 50 was Thornton's film Daddy and Them. Eerie, indeed — and we're not afraid to call it the curse that it is. So please see above for Defamer's unsettling reference to doomed and/or endangered Thornton castmates. And be careful, Hollywood!

• Bernie's Out [Hollywood Elsewhere]

Star
Jamie Lynn's "baby joy turns to tears…" because her shotgun wedding to Casey Aldridge is allegedly off! Despite frequent, happy looking trips to Wal-Mart, the two teens fight all the time. Even worse, Casey is reportedly two-timing Jamie Lynn! "Casey is acting like a dog," a local yokel notes. And Casey's not the only "celebrity" behaving badly. The Hills Whitney Port is acting like a diva, showing up late to appearances and demanding trips to 7-Eleven. Even more shocking: a Whitney Port personal appearance commands $14,000. New moms Melissa Joan Hart and Jaime Pressly are gabbing about their new baby boys. Jaime ate cabbage soup six days a week and worked out two hours a day to lose her baby weight. Sounds…farty and ill-advised. Lilo hates Mary-Kate Olsen because of her friendship with Samantha Ronson, although MK is really scared of people thinking she's a lezebel. John Mayer has a touch of the OCD: since moving in with Jennifer Aniston at her hotel in Florida while she shoots Marley and Me, he has been cleaning up after her cleaning lady. Jen, who is 9 years older than John, is also featured in a spread called "Cougar Season" alongside Mariah, Ellen DeGeneres, and ur-Cougar Demi Moore. Ladies sometimes date younger men: this is not news. We are officially over the term "cougar."
Grade: D (falling asleep outside and having someone write "Dick" on your stomach in sunblock)
Us
Former jilted Bachelor star Andrew Firestone has a "Second Chance At Love," the Us cover blares. Even though ex-fiancée Jen Schefft dumped him on his keister after the show aired, Firestone has found love with a leggy blonde Serbian model named Ivana Bozilovic. You guys, it's so hard to rebound from a break-up when you're a ridiculously good-looking heir to a tire fortune. Firestone has been through so much! Not as much as breakup postergirl Jennifer Aniston. But things seem to be looking up for our formerly depressed diva! Her friends all love new boyfriend John Mayer, even notoriously tough Courteney Cox. Several preggers stars are just about ready to "pop": Gwen Stefani, Nicole Kidman, Jamie Lynn Spears, Luciana Damon (Matt's wife) and Ryan Shawhughes (Ethan Hawke's gf) are among the super pregs. Patrick Swayze has gone back to work on the forthcoming A&E series The Beast even though he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. No cancer puts Patrick in a corner! Kim Cattrall signed on to executive produce and star in a new HBO comedy, Sensitive Skin, which is about a woman rediscovering her sexuality. "Even though it's my name, and the word skin is there, it's a very subtle show," she assures Us. Mmmkay.
Grade: D- (subway smells on a 99 degree day)
In Touch
Angelina is "Pushing Brad Away!" Nooooes! Apparently Ange has violent mood swings because of all the pregnancy hormones and Brad can't deal with it. He took Maddox to the MotoGP motorcycling championship just to get the eff away from Angie. At least she's not back to her Billy Bob humping days, but allegedly Nicole Richie is back to her old bad habits, namely not eating. She's down to 95 pounds, only ten pounds heavier than her scary looking lowest point. Also back to bad habits: Brit Brit. She's back on the sauce, but still not doing drugs, though some fear that Britney's cocktail swilling might lead back down the road to cocaine corner. Also: there's some sidebar saying that Britney's boozing is causing her to have acne. WTF? Did a boob job come between George Clooney and Sarah Larson? Apparently Larson got her tatas done in May, and George wasn't happy about it. Sarah, however, is so thrilled with her new bod that she is considering posing for Playboy. Sigh.
Grade: F+ (second degree sunburn)
OK!
Aw, Shiloh is excited about Angelina's new babies! Apparently SO excited that OK! felt the need to devote four pages to the minutia of Shiloh's very existence. She has "pull-up diapers and tells Mom and Dad when she has to go to the bathroom"! She is learning to sleep alone! She puts her hands on Angie's stomach to feel the twins kick! Um, just like ANY OTHER TWO-YEAR-OLD EVER IN THE HISTORY OF LIFE. Brad Pitt might be making babies these days, but according to a "friend" of John Mayer's, Brad doesn't stack up to John in the sack. John is "Not just good, but sensational" at the sex." Jen is so appreciative that she's started glowing and wearing dresses. Or something like that. Mutiny in The Hills! Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge are brawling. There's a photo shoot with Audrina at her pool house, behind the main house where Lauren and Lo live, and apparently L.C. was pissed about it. "She was very, very mad." Audrina says. "She said it's her house. But this is my room…No she thinks I'm sneaky and shady for doing this photo shoot, yet she and her team knew about it." Dramz!
Grade: F (boob sweat on a date)
Life & Style
Katie is Tom's Prisoner. Again. Katie went to New York for four days to rehearse for her new play, All My Sons, and she never went anywhere but the hotel and the theater. She looked annoyed at a party, according to an "insider" and it's because she feels suffocated. Is John Mayer ready to be a dad? Life & Style ponders. Jen started talking about a friend's fertility treatment over dinner and John "swiftly" changed the subject. "This spinach is awesome…It's very garlicky," Mayer reportedly said. Heh. Maybe that's why Jennifer Aniston has been feuding with He's Just Not That Into You co-star, Jennifer Connelly. The cast of the film, which includes Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin, got together for a Marie Claire photoshoot, and Aniston threatened to pull out if Connelly was included. Janet Jackson looks to be "up 20 pounds" since October, and she needs to lose weight before her Rock Wichu tour in September. She plans to eat healthier and exercise more and blah blah blah.

Grade: F- (heatstroke)

Of all the pictures of Britney, her post-umbrella carnage rage face is an admittedly charming choice, but we're not as thrilled to see Jack Black making his Holier-And-Far-Wittier-Than-Thou face. As for the Paul Reubens tat, the fan was at least smart enough to use a Pee Wee Herman pic, rather than an image of Paul huddled in a dirty movie theater with hands occupied. And poor, poor Patrick Swayze. While we'll likely never know exactly why or how someone got the idea to tattoo themselves with Patrick Swayze as a centaur, at least we're glad to see him wearing his outfit from the infamous SNL Chippendales skit (although, Chris Rock might have a different opinion).

By far the single most frightening Bob Barker image we've ever seen (shouldn't the text read "Come On Down And Fondle My Cock!" instead?). Maddox is not the worst tattoo idea in the world, but why does his tongue resemble the Devil's? Oprah looks the best we've ever seen her look on one fan's arm, but this sneering Zack Morris image has officially scarred our fond memories of the big blond man on campus for life.

[Photo credits: EW]

• CELEBRITY SKIN: 21 TATTOOS OF FAMOUS FACES [EW]

Lynch, Swayze's co-star in Road House, talked to People about the 55-year-old actor's illness on a red-carpet line at Sunday's premiere for the new Rolling Stones concert film at New York's Ziegfeld Theater. "If anyone can get through this, it's him," said Lynch. She described Swayze as "the most determined, positive, forward-thinking person I've ever met."

One isn't supposed to say this, because the truth is depressing: Lynch's belief is without any scientific foundation. The latest studies confirm the medical conventional wisdom: an upbeat attitude has no measurable effect on patients' lifespans, or response to treatment. What's so wrong about a bit of optimism? It implies that the failure of a round of chemotherapy is the fault of the patient, rather than the result of an unpredictable genetic lottery, and that trope is even more distressing for terminally ill patients.

"The idea that we can control illness and death with our minds appeals to our deepest yearnings, but it just isn't so," says Jimmie Holland, a psychiatrist at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center who's argued against the tyranny of positive thinking. "It is so sad that cancer patients are made to believe that if they aren't doing well it is somehow their own fault because they aren't positive enough."

Wolf declined comment, but we made a few more phone calls around the Swayze camp to see if a cease-and-desist order might be in the works to bring Swayze's likeness — and thus pretty much the entire site — off the Web. Another source close to the situation confirmed it's an option; the person would not say, however, if Swayze's reps had yet contacted the Loughman family, who launched the campaign this morning with a news conference in Indianapolis.

It's a delicate situation, to be sure, and we should know more tomorrow. You know where to find us if you hear anything in the meantime.

PREVIOUSLY: 'Cure Possible For Patrick Swayze' — According To A Fan In Indiana

An Indiana family is hoping for an Easter miracle - in the form of obtaining access to a revolutionary new treatment that holds the potential to cure both Hollywood legend, Patrick Swayze, and their beloved mother and wife from the ravages of pancreatic cancer - one of the most deadly forms of cancer.

On Monday, March 24, 2008 the Loughman family of Indianapolis, IN, will hold a news conference at which they will launch a public relations campaign asking the public to help them secure access of the revolutionary new treatment for pancreatic cancer, TNFerade, for patients including their mother/wife - Connie; Mr. Swayze; and others suffering from the disease. ... As part of their public campaign, the Loughman family has launched the website: CureConnieAndPatrick.com

• CureConnieAndPatrick.com

"Pals say he can't quit smoking despite it being linked to a third of pancreatic cancers...Patrick's wife Lisa, 51, is liquidising high-fat dinners as he is having trouble keeping down solid foods."

So Swayze can't keep down food, but he's still smoking? As, ahem, sometimes-smokers ourselves, that's plenty of incentive for us to quit smoking forever cut down a bit. And, as you might expect, Tom Cruise found a way to insert himself into the situation. Surprisingly, though, he resisted the urge to tear into a propaganda-laced diatribe; , instead, he issued this statement about his co-star from The Outsiders: "We are all praying for a quick recovery." Us, too. Put down the smokey treats, Patrick ... we're all pulling for you.

[Photo Credit: Splash]

• PATRICK SWAYZE SUFFERING FROM CANCER PUFFS ON A CIGARETTE [The Sun]

Dirty Dancing, 1987

Road House, 1989

Ghost, 1990

Saturday Night Live (host), 1990

Point Break, 1991

Donnie Darko, 2001

"[Swayze] has lost more than 20 pounds in the past few weeks and is restricted to a liquid diet because he has trouble keeping down solid food, added the insider. 'It's time to start praying for a miracle.'"

• NATIONAL ENQUIRER WORLD EXCLUSIVE: PATRICK SWAYZE HAS FIVE WEEKS TO LIVE [National Enquirer]