Lindsay Lohan Understands Importance Of Traffic Signs A Few DUIs Too Late

Molly Friedman — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 13:53:09 EST

Is it possible that Lindsay Lohan has not only achieved sobriety but also a knack for irony to rival Jon Stewart? At a party celebrating her Paper Magazine cover yesterday (which features a sour-looking badass version of the Lindsay we once loved to hate), LiLo decided to show up wearing a "skirt" emblazoned with neon traffic signs (is it just us, or does that look less like a "skirt" and more like a tube top?). We hope that Eli Roth was in attendance at the party so he could exact revenge on the ageist nip-flasher by loudly muttering "too Spencer's" as she strutted by.

Some of the cautionary symbols that appeared on Lohan's "skirt" were "No Parking," "Two Way Traffic," and what appeared to be a Handicapped Zone sign. Is it only because the two-time DUI offender is incapable of reading these handy signals that she dared wear this monstrosity in public? Or did the rehab alum take a Humor 101 course at the very highly-regarded Cirque Lodge? In any case, as long as she's not raiding someone else's closet looking for a clean pair of cokepants, we'll consider it a positive step on her road to recovery.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

LINDSAY PARTIES WITH 'PAPER' [PopSugar]

Paper Mag's Top Ten Worst Nude Scenes Are Disturbingly Delicious

Molly Friedman — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 19:02:14 EST

Normally the opportunity to see celebs naked on film is worthy of spending whatever it takes to buy the DVD and add it to your dirty collection. Heather Graham in Boogie Nights comes to mind, as does Halle Berry in Monster's Ball. But when folks like Philip Seymour Hoffman and Kathy Bates are flashing their naughty bits in crystal clear HD, we tend to shut our eyes fast the way we do whenever a particularly gruesome scene from the Saw franchise comes on. Nevertheless, Paper Magazine compiled a totally excellent Top Ten list of the worst nude scenes they've ever seen and, while the images aren't pretty, they're still perfect for a good cry/laugh for a Friday afternoon. Some NSFW stills from his list we managed to wrangle after the jump, if you dare...

Though Paper didn't dare dig up any terribly revealing visuals of the gory scenes in question (Ed. Note - What a bunch of squares!), we dug up a few from his top five. For all two of you interested in salivating over Hoffman's flabby butt, Patrick Dempsey's censored full-frontal or Julie Andrews' surprisingly perfect rack, today's your day.

Julie Andrews kinda makes us wanna switch sides in S.O.B.:

Patrick Dempsey, the lone attractive male example on Paper's list, in Some Girls:

And PSH giving Marisa Tomei the ol' doggie in Before The Devil Knows You're Dead:

CINEMANIAC'S TOP TEN WORST NUDE SCENES OF ALL TIME [Papermag.com]

Gawker: defamer, paper magazine

Lindsay Lohan Understands Importance Of Traffic Signs A Few DUIs Too Late

Paper Mag's Top Ten Worst Nude Scenes Are Disturbingly Delicious