The buxom blonde and PETA mouthpiece has sent an angry letter to [Giorgio] Armani's best buddy Blanchett over the designer's use of fur in his clothing collections.

In the letter sent this week, the animal advocate wrote that while the Aussie actress was at Armani's shows and the launch of his new boutique in Milan, she was nearby in Lake Garda hosting a PETA benefit, which raised $50,000 for an upcoming campaign urging people to shun Armani until he makes good on his public promise to stop using fur.

"Cate, as you are such a huge part of Armani's publicity machine, would you please urge him to keep his promise and leave fur out of his future collections?" Anderson wrote.

The animal rights group claims that Armani's winter collection, going into stores now, includes fox and rabbit fur in some pieces.

Armani issued a statement saying he'd be happy to stop using any sort of fur besides rabbit (perhaps he's aware of a sudden surplus?); however, Blanchett has so far stayed mum. Still, we'd advise Pam to watch her back, as Blanchett can always call upon her I'm Not There-honed powers of impersonation to get close enough to the Baywatch star for revenge. Pam, next time you find yourself falling for a tattooed, douchebaggy rock and roller, check to see that he truly has a VD-ridden package just to be certain it's not Blanchett in disguise.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Pamela Anderson at war with Cate Blanchett [News.Com.Au]

Part 1: How Pamela Anderson Ruined Sex
You may remember, especially you craven young men, that in 1998 Playboy posette and Baywatch star Pamela Anderson was filmed by her new husband, Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee, while they did the nasty on some sort of houseboat. Her iconic status at the time, combined with the sheer amazement over Lee's substantial manhood, created what was really the first modern sex tape craze. Perpetuated by the newly discovered internet, the tape became an international phenomenon. It's not just that everyone heard of it, everyone saw it, too. Both Anderson and Lee still enjoy some strange mutation of fame, though they've long since separated and gotten back together and separated again and gotten back together again, etc. What this tape really did, aside from aid these two people, was ruin sex by finally and viscerally commodifying it. Sure there has always been pornography, but this was something different. Famous people who were not hardcore porn actors, but regular (albeit frequently nude on Pam's part) celebrities. Famous people, however (un)intentionally, caught while engaging in the most basic and carnal animal harmony. And now, without the nuisance of seeming like a hooker or a porn star who entered into the act with the intention of making money, one's lovemaking could at some point turn a profit. And the public was both more interested in and more perilously desensitized to the whole idea. Some fourth wall cracked and crumbled that day, opening a hole through which slithered a whole different dimension's worth neo-celebrities.

Part 2: How Paris Hilton Ruined Celebrity
Encouraged no doubt by the crazy zeitgest of the Anderson/Lee tape, budding socialite and headline-grabber Paris Hilton recorded her sex-making with famous dater-of-trashy-celebrities Rick Salomon. It was first leaked, in 2004, onto the internet by (public opinion seems to hold) Mr. Salomon and Hilton initially tried to block it from being released. But, you know, then she saw that it was popular and said 'fuck it' and agreed to its release and now makes money off of the tape, which was eventually titled One Night in Paris. And that, really, was that. Hilton was, yes, already sorta famous, but this sent her into an entirely new strata of celebrity. Suddenly she was the infamous darling of late night jokesters and burgeoning gossip bloggers. Her name was even co-opted by Mario Lavandeira, who assumed the identity Perez Hilton to start his odious gossip rag in 2005. And that's where the already-rickety wheels of the celebrity-industrial complex began to spin off and clatter down the mine shaft ahead of us. An entirely new set of rules about how famous people are made and what keeps people famous and Why We Care was beginning to form, all because Hilton seemed to be becoming one of the most famous people in America simply because she wore pink clothes and let some grody guy from Neptune, New Jersey fuck her with the nightvision on. She possessed no discernible talent other than the uncanny ability to make people, against their better judgment, pay attention. She rewrote the manual, and many other people would follow.

Part 3: How Kim Kardashian Ruined America
And then came Kim Kardashian, whose mother is married to athlete Bruce Jenner or something. She had a large butt and was dating Ray J, the little brother of former celebrity Brandy. She and Ray J boffed in like 2007, I think, and the tape was released. And oh my god. Kim was so freaking mad that she sued the company, Vivid Entertainment, that released the tape. Eventually she dropped the lawsuit and settled for a measly ol' five million dollars. And then. And then she became famous. She was on red carpets and people talked about her and she embarrassed herself on The View (just like a real celebrity!) and she got her own reality show and somehow helped make her even less interesting sisters sort-of-famous, too. Where Paris Hilton developed a coy relationship with magazine creations of this bleak new millennium like Us Weekly and InTouch, teasing things at them to keep everyone interested, Kardashian just barnstorms through things, ass-bellowing and demanding attention for the stupidest of events and occurrences, flaunting the fact that, to paraphrase Soup host and possible savior of pop culture Joel McHale, she is famous simply for having a big butt and a sex tape. So how does this large-caboosed blip on the radar get blamed for the ruination of these United States? Well, maybe she and her sex tape didn't necessarily ruin it themselves, but they do represent everything that is wrong and broken and bankrupt and ill of this "uh oh, everyone put your goggles on!" experiment. Kardashian's success proves that Hilton's new rules do, in fact, work in some inexplicable way. And, more importantly, the whole boondoggle suggests that many of us care (even if we're doing it ironically, we're still paying attention) as much, if not more, about the frivolous self-exploitation of a stranger's body as we do about fractious and dangerous political landscapes, about holes we've torn in the very fabric of the sky, about people dying from all imaginable kinds of neglect. Nah, we're too busy watching Access Hollywood scream at us that Kardashian cut her toe in a New York City hotel room (this was an actual top story) to pay attention to the fact that the rug, upon which they (and we) are fucking for the camera, is being pulled out from under our sweaty, writhing, desperate selves.

So let this Britney tape—the Holy of Holies, the culmination of all things—sing us sweet tidings of eternal rapture. Or damnation. Or whatever. I just can't watch any more promos for Dancing With the Sex Tape Stars.

As none other than Defamer first reported back in April of 2006, the newly single Simpson handled her pouty grief by shoving her cleavage in scented cinema revolutionary Brett Ratner's smelly face, to the dismay of rumored Ratner tossaway Lindsay Lohan. After a Simpson hanger-on called Lohan a "bitch," the then-closeted lesbian allegedly lunged towards their table, held back by the heroic hack himself. A year later, entrenched in John Mayer's predatory grip, Jessica was said to have declared war against her own sister Ashlee after Mayer got the two mixed up in old photos. The rivalry ended with Jessica stating to the press that she was "no longer the girl with potential," but a "blessed butterfly" instead. Triumph! And later that year, the NY Post claimed the amnesia-ridden Jessica became furious after hearing engaged Eva Longoria had dared to be "friendly and polite" to then-ex Mayer, and went on a name-calling rant through New York.

Our favorite tale, however, occurred right on the heels of her anti-PETA message tee bomb drop. Some gossips say the shirt had nothing to do with fuzzy wuzzies or pro-fur campaigns, but was meant as a message to Jesus fan and Tony Romo ex, Carrie Underwood. Underwood won the group's infamous Leno-monologue-staple Sexiest Vegetarian title back in 2005, and Simpson has supposedly been jealous of her whipped boyfriend's ex since day one of their ridiculous union. So in the end, Anderson should probably put the venom away and align with Simpson — they're both failed actresses whose only chance of maintaining "celebrity" is shoving their ample cleavage in the faces of hacks who'll give them their precious screen time.

[Photo credits: Getty]

• PAMELA ANDERSON CALLS JESSICA SIMPSON A BITCH AND A WHORE [The Sun]

As The Sun reports, the icing on Hef's 82nd birthday cake included walking into his suite at a Vegas hotel to find Anderson inside, wearing nothing but high heels. We're not sure such trousers-tightening surprises are the wisest stunts to pull now that Hef is reaching a certain age, but observers said no medics were called. As hotel owner George Maloof put it, "He was stunned and had the biggest smile I've ever seen." Which is all fine and dandy, but if the lap dance was so public that even the hotel owner was invited, shouldn't there be pictures of the uninhibited Pammy floating around by now? We'll be waiting.

[Photo Credit: Lillith E-zine]

• ANDERSON TO STAR IN E! REALITY SERIES [Var]
• PAMELA ANDERSON STRIPS OFF FOR HUGH HEFNER'S BIRTHDAY [The Sun]

Earlier: Demi Moore Is Into Bloodsuckers, Brazilian Waxes

Depsite her pending divorce petition, Pam seems to be waffling about whether Salomon will be included in her future.

In an updated entry on her website Monday, Anderson added the following note: "P.S. We're working things out..."

The predictive powers of Pam's blog are not to be underestimated: an entry penned two days prior to her marriage to Kid Rock reads "ugh, sooo BORED, looking to party this weekend!!!" while the entry immediately predating her Tommy Lee nuptials declare: "I fell backwards onto a concrete step yesterday. Head hurts. Vision...so blurry," so don't count Rick out yet.

• PAMELA ANDERSON FILES FOR DIVORCE THEN WAFFLES [Celebtv.com]
• Previously: Pamela Anderson Weds In Vegas Moments Before Being Sawed In Half [Defamer]

The pair tied the knot Saturday night in Las Vegas at the Mirage Hotel before Anderson's children and members of her family, sources confirm to PEOPLE.

A conventional marriage it wasn't, as the nuptials actually took place in an hour-and-a-half between Anderson's two magic shows.

Anderson, 40, donned a white denim Valentino dress at the small ceremony. Wedding guests included Tobey Maguire, Lukas Haas and magician Hans Klok.

After the nuptials, it was right back to work for Anderson, who made no secret that she had just gotten married. "Hello, I just got married...I did," Anderson said after performing in the second magic show of the night. "I'm distracted. It's a big day. A big day at the office."

While most little girls dream of the day they might be betrothed to the man of their dreams in a fairytale ceremony capped by the release of a thousand doves, it says a great deal about trouper Anderson that for her third outing to the altar, she was willing to squeeze her vows between her Beauty of Magic commitments and settle for a half-dozen of the white pigeons turned into colorful scarves by the conjuring boss who gave her away just minutes before.

• Pamela Anderson Weds Rick Salomon [People]

Even though the above video lacks conclusive evidence that Pamela Anderson's nipple was briefly visible on last night's episode of Conan, its Zapruder-like examination of the footage is amazingly effective in making us aware of how many precious seconds of our lives we were wasting trying to catch a split-second glimpse of a famous person's areola. We were especially ashamed about the state of our lives while expending a full three minutes trying to set the slider precisely on the :27 mark during our seventh viewing, a frustrating effort which still didn't produce the results we'd hoped for.

In an equally consequential development in the late-night talk show world, the tapings of this week's Jimmy Kimmel Live episodes were canceled following Kimmel's Wednesday night emergency appendectomy; while a publicist assures fans the surgery was a success and he's "resting comfortably and is looking forward to getting back to work," TMZ.com exclusively reports that the host is also suffering from a debilitating cold sore, but fails to speculate on the impact this health issue might have on the timetable for his return.

• Pam Anderson Nipple Slip Conan O'Brien June 20, 2007 [YouTube]
• [AP]

In today's episode Priscilla Presley, Lisa Marie Presley and Scott Baio; Pamela Anderson; Mark Ruffalo; James Woods and Ashley Madison; Jessica Alba; Chris Klein and Ginnifer Goodwin; David Duchovny; Maria Shriver; Famke Janssen; David Lynch; B.J. Novak; Kate Hudson; Cesar Millan; Jean-Claude Van Damme; Tom Arnold; John Glover; "Weird Al" Yankovic; Judith Light and Juliette Lewis.

· Monday evening 12/18 - Polo Lounge - While having a drink at the bar I saw Priscilla Presley, Lisa Marie & her strange looking husband with the hat. Scott Baio was at a nearby table.

On Tuesday afternoon 12/19 I saw Pamela Anderson buying a ton of toys at Tom's Toys in Beverly Hills. She's much tinier than I expected. Real friendly too - not even wearing much makeup or requisite huge sunglasses

· yo! totally invisible in his ball cap, Mark Ruffalo does Hollywood Home Depot Tuesday morning. dude looks like he knows his way around. nobody paid him a bit of attention. still too much the 'Art' film star?

· Jimmy woods @ dan tanas with ashley whatsherface ( Madison) right now. 12.19 9thirty

· I ran into Jessica Alba at the newly remodeled Century City mall on Wednesday evening (around 5pm) December 20th, 2006. She wore a baggy knit cap to cover some unkempt, highlighted hair, a light brown leather jacket, slim fit jeans and high heel boots while smiling and power walking with a spikey haired man and older woman (boyfriend & mother? i dunno). P.S. that new food court is like a futuristic space-station cafeteria...a whole vendor devoted to serving chile in all forms? amazing! My new favorite "less-crowded-than-the-grove" mall.

· Saw Chris Klein and Ginnifer Goodwin at John O'Groats this morning. He was tall, she was tiny. She has such a beautiful clear complexion (and is seriously Katie Holmes twin).. they were talking about her leaving on Saturday and some present he bought her in Nevada.

· Early afternoon at the Wild Oats off Montana in Santa Monica on 12/19. I was getting a muffin when a slightly greasy looking guy was waiting behind me...realized at the cash register that it was none other than David Duchovny. Looks pretty good, and exactly like he did on X-Files.

· Monday (12/18) I was visiting disneyland with some out of town guests. they wanted to see celebrities, but all the LA gods had to offer was first lady Maria Shriver. She was on the peter pan ride with another woman. Three kids were in the pirate ship in front of them and the blondest one gave the ride operator a "hang loose" sign—so apparently they have a pre-teen deadbeat surfer in the family. Maria, of course, looked fresh from chemo. incidentally, they didn't seem to have much in the way of security with them, so apparently her cheekbones double as weapons.

· As I was pulling into my Miracle Mile office building this morning (12-20), Famke Janssen was heading out of the driveway. Her extreme tallness is apparent even when she's folded into the front seat a gun-metal gray Prius.

· Speaking of the Grove... David Lynch was there on Sunday, Dec. 17, eating at one of the two restaurants with a much younger, seemingly Russian lady.

Right after that, ran into B.J. Novak at the Trader Joe's on 3rd and La Brea.

· I think I saw Kate Hudson, the baby and not Owen Wilson together walking East from Urth Cafe in West Hollywood (I think it was sunday, but I was boozed in a cab).

BUT....

La piece de resistance of sightings in my life.... It was a cold and wet Saturday night at the Petco parking lot on the corner of Doheney and Melrose. I was wearing worn out and slippery J Crew flips from last summer, walking as carefully as possible holding my shoppings. Out of the deep dark night, I heard dulcet tones of an angel "Do you need a hand?" I nearly fell on my ass. Cesar Millan. The dog whisperer himself, offering to help me to my car. He is small, and manly, and I love him

· Dec 17 - beautiful Sunday morning in Santa Monica - there was Jean Claude Van Damme at the Coffee Bean on Main Street. Recognized him right away since he hasn't seemed to age a bit since his first movie. Well, Ok - maybe a little extra chin.

· 16 Dec 2006, 10pm - I saw Tom Arnold at the Century City AMC with a woman who appeared to be, after a quick google image search, his wife. My boyfriend was buying tickets and I turned around and saw Tom standing in line. My boyfriend is a huge fan of his wacky personality and his former sports show. I tried to get my boyfriend to say hi, but he got shy and didn't want to disturb them - but I know he will regret it. This was a semi-exciting event because it was my first sighting after living in LA for a couple of years.

· On Sunday, Dec. 17, I saw John Glover going the WRONG WAY at the IKEA in Burbank. Dude totally came in through the exit and was swimming against the tide through the textiles department, towards the surprisingly dim lighting area. He was sporting a pony tail, long trench coat, and dark pants, and looked exactly like he did in that episode of Law and Order. Maybe he thought it was a reshoot, and we were all extras. Maybe he's too artsy to heed the call of the arrows on the floor pointing the other direction. Who knows what that guy's thinking?

· 4:45PM Thursday, while ducking out of work for some last second gift shopping, I saw Weird Al Yankovic walking around in the Apple Store at the Grove. He looks a little tired, and possibly a bit dazed as he circled the genius bar. He was wearing a grey 'Weird Al 2004' tour sweatshirt and some kind of faux-alligator print Vans. What was he buying? I have no clue. If there weren't a whole bunch of e-mail terminals right there, I might not have even bothered to send this in. Except that Weird Al's "In 3-D" was one of my favorite albums of all time, and I've been humming his "Eye Of The Tiger" parody all week because the new Rocky movie is coming out.

· 12/20 80's cheesy TV flashback at the coffee shop at the Beverly Hills Hotel — none other than Judith Light (tony danza's foil "angela" on the series "who's the boss") waiting for a seat at the counter. no attitude.

And the award for C-level Sighting Shamelessly Planted In A Misguided Attempt At Moving Some Of Your Store's Crappy, Outdated Merchandise goes to:

· Juliette Lewis was shopping yesterday in the Yana K Boutique on Melrose Ave (West Hollywood) where she purchased the "Turtle Up Dress". The turtleneck dress she bought was velvet with a blue black and tan 80's style print. So retro! Samples and images are available. Please contact Yana K directly as I will be out of the country beginning tonight!!! Her email is [redacted]. Happy holidays!

Three Hollywood chimpanzees, said to have been punched and beaten to make them perform, will spend the rest of their lives in an animal sanctuary in an cruelty lawsuit settlement, an animal rights group said on Thursday. [...]

Sable, Cody and Angel, who have appeared in numerous TV shows, commercials and movies including "That '70s Show" and "The Craig Kilborn Show," were named in a federal lawsuit alleging cruelty by their California trainer Sid Yost, whose stage name is Ranger Rick.

The group brought the case after an undercover primatologist worked with Yost for a year at his southern California facility for chimps. She reported seeing him punching the chimps with his fists, repeatedly beating them with sticks and broom handles, and kicking them in the head to make them obedient.

While the favorable settlement will no doubt come as a great relief to Pamela Anderson, Bob Barker, and monkey-human liaison Alec Baldwin—all of whom swore never to appear on screen with a chimpanzee again after the findings were made public— the outcome was never really in question, as Ranger Rick's meager defense was predicated entirely on the argument that a swift kick to the head was the only language his animal actors seemed to speak when it came to teaching them not to upstage the scenery-chewing hamminess of their frequent That '70s Show co-star, Ashton Kutcher.

CORRECTIONS: · A reader e-mailed to tell us the man featured with the chimp in the photo we used is an upstanding animal trainer, and has nothing to do with Sid Yost. We apologize for any confusion, and have replaced the photo with the above, from The Onion, and captioned "Chimp Actor Looking To Direct."
· Another reader wrote to tell us chimpanzees are in fact apes, not monkeys. We hang our heads low in simian-ignorance-shame, as we stuff bananas into our mouths.

• Punched, beaten Hollywood chimps head for sanctuary [Reuters]

In today's episode: Al Pacino; Spike Lee; Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sargaard; Pamela Anderson; Lou Diamond Phillips, Avril Lavigne, Robbie Williams, Hayden Panettiere, Adrian Pasdar, Milo Ventimiglia, Greg Grunberg, Leonard Roberts, Zachary Quinto, Masi Oka, Rena Sofer, Santiago Cabrera, Tori Spelling, Dean McDermott, Zach Quinto, and Sean Maguire; Lindsay Lohan; John C. Reilly; Adam Brody and Zach Braff; Wentworth Miller; Katherine Heigl; John Mayer; Maria Shriver; Michael Weston; Kim Raver; Angie Harmon and Jason Sehorn; Wendie Malick; Chris Daughtry and Taylor Hawkins.

· My boyfriend and I flew back from London on United this past Saturday (25th) and as we were stumbling out of coach after a ten hour flight, I looked up to first class and saw Al Pacino just exiting. He had just been in Dublin, because he was receiving some award or other at Trinity. He looked hot to me, even after all these years, but my b.f. thought he looked gross. I kind of like it when a guy just gets old and doesn't do too much surgery. He was whisked through (i.e., he got to cut in line) customs. Depressing moment for me was when I heard someone yell, "HOO-ah" from that shitty movie where he was blind and I was thinking about how hot he was in "Dog Day Afternoon". I'm oooooooold.

· Spike Lee was on my flight from SFO to LAX on the Monday after Thanksgiving. Flight was delayed and I swear he was on his cell phone the entire wait at the gate...approximately 45 minutes. I don't really care, just wondering how he has such a kick ass cell phone battery.

· Saw Maggie Gyllenhaal, Peter Sarsgaard and Baby Ramona Sunday evening (11/26) at Mozza. The three-some were doted on by the manager, which is fine by me because they seem so down-to-earth (unlike a lot of other celebs). The baby is adorable and Peter isn't too bad himself.

· I was at the Chateau, now that Thanksgiving is officially over, and who should I see byt our favorite little divorcee (the little one, not the trag vag...) Pamela Anderson all curled up and cozy surrounded by people. I was very focused on the company I was keeping, so I didn't notice anyone if anyone else was there.

· At the Dixie Chicks concert at Staples Center 11/24...Pretty much the ENTIRE cast and crew of Heroes were seated in the next section (some wearing Vote For Petrelli t-shirts). Cute little Hayden Panettiere graciously signed autographs, Adrian Pasdar rushed around wearing a baseball hat, his bluetooth device in his ear and LOUD lime green patent leather sneakers while Milo Ventimiglia (who was wearing a fedora...to a country concert) followed him around like a little puppy dog. Cast members Greg Grunberg, J August Richards Leonard Roberts, Zachary Quinto, Masi Oka, Rena Sofer and Santiago Cabrera were also in attendance. Also sighted at the show were the pig-tailed Tori Spelling (who got excited to see Zach Quinto since they played best friends on So Notorious) and husband unit Dean McDermott, Lou Diamond Phillipsand fam, Avril Lavigne with a female friend who sat silently the entire show while drinking beers and the oh so yummy Robbie Williams with that hot guy from The Class, Sean Maguire (who apparently is also a pop star in the UK...thanks IMDB).

· Saw Lindsay Lohan in first class on Delta Nov. 27 taking the red-eye from LAX-JFK. She had no make-up and dark hair sans hair extensions and just blended in with the crowd. She was by herself and no one seemed to recognize her. She was one of the first people to board (i.e. she can be timely) and was never on her cell phone and only saw her asking the flight attendant for water so.... no, there was no drama! She slept most of the time but got up several times to go to the bathroom. Saw her sign an autograph and chat for a minute with a flight attendant. She put on a hat and sunglasses before we landed and actually looked more like herself!

· Saw America's Favorite Movie Sidekick , John C. Reilly, cruising out of Amoeba Records last night. Reilly was bundled in an old heavy coat and a wintry porkpie hat that he clearly brought here from Chicago. He was about as tall as I thought he'd be, but not nearly as burly as I imagined. Unfortunately, I didn't get a look at what he bought, so I can't give you any "Hey, John C. Reilly really digs Beyonce!" sorta scoopage.

· Holiday weekend sightings:

Friday, 11/24 - Adam Brody stopped by Abbott's Habit on Sunset for a post-Thanksgiving bagel with his dog. Very skinny and hot in a tight vintage tee (Adam, not the dog.) First time I've ever seen a dog actually bark at a mailman in real life, but it did and we all shared a chuckle.

Sunday, 11/26 - LAX American Airlines Baggage Claim 4 - none other than Zach Braff coming back from the "Garden State." Had a standard Hollywood small dog in tow but seemed normal, unassuming and nerdy in a skinny jeans, hoodie, baseball cap and glasses. Followed him for a little, but then got distracted by a team of hot 7 foot tall basketball players, a Thanksgiving miracle that made my 3rd trip to the airport in 3 days worthwhile.

· Live report. Stranded at dfw. Onplanetola.Airport lost power. Wentworth miller 3 rows away. This is how i want to die - staring @ those eyes. Damn. We are leaving. Only 3 more hours.

· Saw Katherine Heigl (Izzy) of Grey's Anatomy at a Burger King on Sunday afternoon in the Atlanta airport before boarding a flight (ours) back to LA. She seemed very unpretentious while she waiting in line with the little people. She appeared to be traveling with a couple of friends. At LAX, she and friends sat and smoked cigarettes outside baggage claim while they waited for a ride to pick them up.
She's extremely pretty in person and delightfully non-anorexic.

· Saw John Mayer at the Pottery Barn in Santa Monica. He was extremely tall, at least a head taller than anyone else in the store. In person he is really nice to look at, tall, lean, defined cheek bones, and amazing hair; pictures do not do the boy justice (Nice work, Simpson.) He seemed very friendly, was even laughing to himself, and looked a little confused, as I'm sure any 20-something guy would be in a Pottery Barn. He said something about living New York, but wanting to find something cool for his place in LA.

· Tuesday 11/21 at The Counter in Santa Monica: California First Lady Maria Shriver with one of her sons (wearing a sweatshirt emblazoned ARNOLD) and a man we presumed to be secret service. She is starting to look more and more like her mom, and was thinner and more frail than I had expected. Kid seemed tired and cranky. We were right by the window and saw them hop into a giant BMW which materialized like a shark at the curb as they were leaving. Maria rode shotgun; secret service guy rode in the back with the cranky, besweatshirted kid. I like to think Arnold was at the wheel.

· Thursday night, Blockbuster video at Hollywood & Western, around 11:30pm. Walked in and spotted Michael Weston at the counter. Who? I had to IMDB him, but I knew his face—he was Kenny in Garden State (the cop who had once been "doing coke lines off a urinal"). Same sleepy, smoked-a-huge-bowl-before-leaving-the-house look as you might expect—not that tall, but not a total midget. I think this is a strictly C list celebrity Blockbuster—I once saw Ethan Embry trying to work out a deal or something with the clerk because he had $70 in late fees at the same store. Michael just seemed to want something that the clerk needed to go and get...and explain to him somehow.

· 11/26 - Kim Raver (24, The Nine) seated in the last row of business class on my flight from JFK to LAX. She was with her husband and their young son was in coach...hopefully with a babysitter.

· I saw Angie Harmon and her husband, Jason Sehorn, at the UBS parking lot near the Beverly Wilshire tonight. They were waiting in line behind us for the valet to bring our cars. Angie is stunningly beautiful in person (wearing killer thigh-high leopard-print boots), and they were adorable together, laughing and seeming very much in love. Angie totally caught me staring and smiled at me. I'm pretty sure they left in a silver Range Rover.

· 11/30— Just saw Wendie Malick (Nina in "Just Shoot Me" and is in a new comedy coming out called "Big Day") shopping at the Whole Foods in Brentwood. I was starting to get ticked because I shop there all the time and never see anyone famous, yet according to US Weekly, People and even Defamer there are gaggles of celebrities shopping there. Based on reports one would think Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck lived there. Anyhoo, Wendie looks really good for being in her mid-fifties. She's very tall and thin, but not scary thin, and was wearing a Santa Fe style jacket and jeans. She was very low key and nice to a shopper who started talking to her. Still waiting on the Jen and Ben sighting....

· 11/30 The WeHo Starbucks in that hellish Best Buy/Target complex. Nice, nerdy Asian guy, probably new here since he was still packing a thick accent, is behind the counter serving this group of Nickelback types. I hear one of guys order a "vanilla latte" and then turn to the other guys to repeat his order loudly, "VANILLA LATTE." That's when I saw the dude was Chris Daughtry, second cousin removed of Bon Jovi. His "band" cracks up. Prick.

· day after thanksgiving at the beverly center: taylor hawkins (drummer of foo fighters) buying a striped men's sweater at forever 21 soooo random

· The Brokeback to the Future guys have returned, and they've added lasers to Singin' in the Rain, proving that there's no dance scene that can't be improved with futuristic gunplay.
· And thus begins the GQ Newlyweds of the Year Curse. Unfortunately, Tom and Katie almost certainly won't qualify for next year's installment.
The LA outpost of Eater officially launched today, the newest member of the burgeoning Curbed blogging empire. Stop by and welcome them to the neighborhood.
Britney and Paris: the one act play and the lost diary entry.
· And today's palate cleanser: Sleepy Kitten.

"Ron Meyer held a screening of 'Borat' at his house for a bunch of people, including Pam and Bob," says an Anderson pal. "It was the first time Bob had seen the movie, and, well, he didn't like it. [...]

[Anderson's] friend tells Page Six, "Bob started screaming at Pam, saying she had humiliated herself and telling her, 'You're nothing but a whore! You're a slut! How could you do that movie?' - in front of everyone. It was very embarrassing. [...]

"Ever since that night, it has been icicles between them," the friend relates.

While her image in a 20-year-old Baywatch fanzine may have served to enhance the self-pleasuring fantasies of the movie's titular star and his naked, blubbery producing companion, Anderson's actual performance—mostly comprised of trying to outrun the wild-eyed, bride-trapping Eurasian—hardly qualified as either "whore" or "slut"-like. Surely this couldn't have been the first time Rock betrayed his jealous side, but humiliating the provocative sex symbol among Hollywood's most powerful during a private screening of her hit movie must have simply been the straw that broke the proverbial camel's toe.

• PAM SPLITS OVER KID BLOWUP [NY Post]

Anderson, 39, and Rock, 35, both filed divorce petitions Monday, each citing irreconcilable differences, but they gave different dates of separation. Anderson's papers said they separated before Thanksgiving weekend, on Tuesday, Nov. 21, 2006, while Rock - who filed under his real name, Robert Ritchie - said they separated on Sunday, Nov. 26. No reasons were given for the discrepancy. [...]

Earlier this month, Anderson's rep confirmed that the actress had suffered a miscarriage while in Vancouver filming the movie Blonde and Blonder.

While neither side is offering an explanation as to what happened, certainly Anderson's time spent bonding with laptop-hurling divorcezilla Denise Richards on the Blonde and Blonder set might have planted the seeds that could have set these irreconcilable wheels in motion, to the delight of heartsick, matrimonial-bag-wielding Kazakh bachelors everywhere.

• Pamela Anderson Files for Divorce from Kid Rock [People]
• Diary [PamelaAnderson.com]

Hollywood actress Denise Richards hit an 80-year-old woman in a wheelchair with at least one flying laptop Wednesday while battling paparazzi during the filming of her new movie at the River Rock Casino in Richmond.

"She grabbed their two laptops and threw them off a balcony," [Richmond RCMP spokesman Cpl. Peter Thiessen said], noting there appeared to be a history between Richards and the photographers.

Thiessen said the 80-year-old woman was one floor below Richards when she was hit but said she was not badly hurt and is not interested in laying charges.

While celebrities have every right to take up laptops and defend themselves against an increasingly emboldened paparazzi insurgency, this latest escalation—in which elderly, invalid civilians are now finding themselves the innocent maiming victims of a hail of tumbling, blunt-edged ThinkPads—makes us wonder if the senseless violence has finally gone too far. The last thing our hair-trigger culture needs is for some starlet to catch wind of this story about the deflective and pliable qualities of the aged and infirm, only to push the closest wheelchair-bound senior citizen into traffic in a misguided attempt at putting some space between themselves and their telephoto-equipped pursuers on their next high-speed, paparazzi-fleeing adventure.

• Elderly woman hit after actress throws laptop [VancouverSun.com]

• Revealed: Borat's Son a Gay Porn Star [Radar]
• PAM WAS IN ON 'BORAT' JOKE [Page Six]

Malibu Inn, Saturday night. Went to see Scott and Amie Project play (Scott Russo from UnWritten Law and his gal pal Aimee Allen). Wasn't aware it was "Whitestarr Night". The addiction-challenged band of Rock star kids who are a local Malibu favorite. Roy Orbison's youngster. Dickie Betts's younin' and Izzy of Guns and Roses offspring. In addition it was Sisco's birthday. Whoever he is. Whoopie! Anyhoot, I arrived at 10 pm to see Scott and Aimie and found Kid Rock holding court bar left. Pam Anderson, tight wrapped black shiny thing on heels, within spilling distance. The joint was packed with almost every surf, trust fund and ecstacy-loving kid, Malibu sperm has produced in the last 18 years. At least 500 sun drenched, clean-scrubbed blunderkind of the high end coast dwellers jostled for strategic cell phone positioning throughout the club.

As Scott and Aimee launched into the fourth song of their well-received set, a stuperous, slow moving Kid Rock, shirtless but hatted, ascended to the stage. In mid song he slid behind Russo's mike and indicated he wanted the younger rock star's guitar. The startled Russo unslid his axe and sheepishly turned it over to Rock royalty. In the background you could see recent Emmy winner and wig wearer, JEREMY PIVEN trying to coax the band's drummer off his stool. DUANE BETTS, was in negotiation with Russo's brother to acquire the guitar he was guarding with his life. The entire club rushed the stage, Razr video phones in hand held high to record the presence of rock gallentry. The Rock mumbled incoherently and attempted to start a simple blues. Pivens, now behind the drum set, pounded out a 4/4 beat to no avail. The song collapsed under its own weight. The Betts Boy musically suggested "Ramblin' Man" a song made famous by his Dad, the Allman Brothers drug troubled guitarist. No go. The Kid couldn't remember the words. Song after song died an unsightly death. The members of the Scott and Aimme project stood by nervously while a beaming Pamalot looked on from stage left. A strategically placed body guard prevented anyone from coming on stage to remove the semi-conscious Rockster. Whisper after whisper spilled into Kid's ears. Almost all presumably asking him politely to leave the stage. All fell on drunk ears. No go. At one point Kid Rock just stood there holding onto the mike stand for dear life as the crowd chanted his name and sent out cell phone transmissions of his image. (Hopefully to the Central Office of AA in New York!)

After 30 minutes of this (it seemed like hours and it was only 11 pm!) a chemically enhanced smiling Piven yelled "I won an Emmy" to a crowd that could care less and probably if they gave it any thought at all, believe "Entourage" the hit HBO show that Piven repped, was a reality show of sorts. As the liquor wounded Kid Rock was finally helped down from the stage, Scott and Aimee quickly returned to their set only to be interrupted by the club's manager who informed them that their time had run out and that WHITESTARR would now be taking the stage from them! Whitestarr's drug highs must have been peaking and they needed to take the stage immediately. Which they did. Piven ripped off his shirt from behind the borrowed trap set and yelled, "I won metal!" I guess referring to the composition of the Emmy statue itself.

Only in Malibu kids. Only in Malibu.

7/18/2006 I'm Getting Remarried!!!

Yes. I'm finally getting remarried...it's been a whirlwind...spontaneous but well thought through. Feels like I've been stuck in a time warp. Not able to let go of MY family picture...it's been sad and lonely and frustrating....I've raised my kids alone in hope of a miracle. Well my miracle came and went. And came back and came back because he knew that I'd wake up one day and realize that I was waiting for nothing.

I'm moving on...I feel like I'm finally free....I'm in love. I'm happy....I see the light...sounds dramatic but it's true.....I know some women can relate to this....My children are getting older. They know the truth and they are strong, smart kids. They love their Dad. They love their new Step Dad who they've known for years...time will pass. Wounds will heal. Some people may never grow up. Actions speak louder than words....watch!

We think we're tearing up here...nothing quite squeezes genuine emotion from the desiccated husk of our hearts than delusional optimism expressed in a run-on string of recycled cliches and fifth-grade-level romantic sentiments. We want nothing more than to believe that this time, things are different, and that Rock is truly the butt-rocker of a maturing girl's dreams.

• I'm Getting Remarried!!! [PamelaAnderson.com]

I'm writing you today not so much about the horrific cruelty involved in the hunt, but about the impact of the government's indifference to such violence on Canada's image around the world. As a proud Canadian who frequently travels abroad, I am alarmed that people are starting to see Canada as a country more beholden to a pack of greedy hunters and to the seal-skin "fashion" whims of a few countries than to the massive international outcry against the hunt. One of the biggest problems facing the U.S. government is appearing aloof about its own hostile behaviour; I'd hate to see that happen north of the border too.

Once again, Anderson manages to bust stereotypes: Not only does she put the lie to the cliche of the boring Canadian, but she also proves that a large-breasted blonde is fully capable of understanding and signing the articulate and persuasive statements prepared by PETA on her behalf.

• PAMELA ANDERSON ADMONISHES CANADIAN PM OVER SEAL SLAUGHTER [PETA Media via MSNBC.com]
• Previously: Pamela Anderson Goes Another Round With KFC [Defamer]