And by blessings of course we mean his many Rolexes, whose diamond-bespeckled hands helped lift the actor in his hour of despair. At least that's what this post from Melrose Jewelers's weird, celebrity-focused blog seems to think—in a post so heartwarming, they've already issued a press release about it!

An excerpt:

After a frightening suicide attempt in 2007, Rolex watches and benefits appeared to play an essential role in actor Owen Wilson’s recovery...A People magazine cover story out Friday quotes a friend as saying: "Owen was very despondent. He slit his wrists. He almost did not make it." It was a dark period in Wilson life, and Rolex watches played a key role in helping Owen regain his bearings and his success.

Although Owen Wilson has worn a Rolex GMT Master in the popular films Wedding Crashers and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, he chooses to wear a Rolex Submariner in his everyday life.

The Rolex Submariner is part of Rolex’s Oyster Perpetual Professional line. After returning home from the hospital, Owen was captured by a photographer walking on the beach, wearing his Rolex Submariner. Later, he was seen riding his mountain bike in Santa Monica with the Rolex Submariner on his wrist. Obviously, the quality of a Rolex watch helped Owen realize and appreciate the quality of his own life.

Obviously! From now on, every time Wilson looks at his wrists, he won't be thinking of the end. He'll be thinking of the beginning...of a love affair with the special edition Owen Wilson Rolex LifeAffirmer: a joyous, $24,000 platinum chronometer that can measure the humidity in four continents simultaneously. Hope winds eternal.

• Rolex Quality and the Recovery of Owen Wilson [Melrose Jewelers]

1. Jennifer Aniston is done with your questions about Brad Pitt. (For now.) Outperforming The Curious Case of Benjamin Button by more than $12 million — and setting a Christmas-release record in the process — confirms Aniston's box-office ownage over her ex-husband and should establish some self-sustained breathing room going forward. Until Pitt and Angelina Jolie both earn Oscar nominations next month, naturally, and the cycle begins anew. Enjoy it while you can, Jen.

2. Owen Wilson may never have to promote a film again. Already softball-averse in his first interviews since attempting suicide in 2007, Wilson can simply follow the Marley Model of letting his co-stars do the heavy-lifting / disrobing / cute-puppy thing while he retires to reclusive leading-mandom.

3. David Frankel is for real. The son of a former executive editor of the NYT, director Frankel has done nothing but make money for Fox since his feature debut The Devil Wears Prada. His formula: Adapt sources efficiently, cast intelligently, and let the principals do the rest — even the kids and dogs. It's a lot harder than it looks. Next up: The baseball procedural Moneyball, adapted from another best-seller and rumored to feature Pitt in the lead.

4. Fox is the hottest studio in town. After a year-long string of embarrassing flops and underachievers — including the recent, devastating one-two punch of Australia and Day the Earth Stood Still — the studio heads into 2009 with a likely repeater at #1 and a Watchmen judgment that could net it upwards of $50 million next spring. Without doing anything. If luck is the residue of design, then Fox's engineers are entitled to a raise.

5. The dog dies. Who knew? Oh.

• 'Marley' leads holiday box office pack [Variety]

Q: How challenging is it promoting this big fun family movie when the public seems to be so curious about your own lives?

Aniston: I think it's ridiculous. There's just this insatiable need. I also haven't had a movie in a long time, so hopefully this is going to create something else to talk about and realize that I have a job, and I'm an actress.

Wilson: This is the nice part. You get to talk about the work.

Aniston: I am honestly getting sick of it, and I feel like telling people, "You know what? It's none of your (expletive) business." Seriously, it's enough. It's like we're appealing to the lowest …

Wilson:… the worst in human nature.[...]

Q: Well, how does doing a film like this help?

Aniston: It's such a positive story. … I think sometimes people lose track and they forget, "God, this (stuff) is hard." And then you see a movie that reminds you … life isn't what you always imagine it to be. Life is what it is.

Wilson: That was nice. That was a great line.

Q: And what about your dogs? Do they help you get through the difficult times?

(Wilson, who was hospitalized in 2007 after what police called a suicide attempt, walks out.)

Aniston: You're talking about the stupid stuff? Yes.

(When Wilson returns, the question is repeated.)

Aniston: They do help.

Wilson: Yeah. That sounded nice.

• 'Marley' stars Wilson, Aniston feel an animal attraction [USA Today]

Among those observed in this installment: Owen Wilson, John Krasinski, Amy Adams, Ryan Phillippe, Neil Patrick Harris, Jared Leto, John Legend, Jonah Hill, Martin Landau, Chloe Sevigny, William Fichtner, Ron Livingston, Mekhi Phifer and more.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 20

Went to see The Women (the play, not the movie) in a theater near downtown, when I saw MARTIN LANDAU (looking dapper for 77) talking with JACK STEHLIN from Weeds. I was going to list some Martin Landau credits but imdb has 155 of them and I didn't know what to pick. Loved him in Ed Wood, though.

THURSDAY, SEPT. 25

Sept. 25 [At the] Aloud event at the LA Central Library, I spotted ERIC IDLE and a companion enjoying the battling accents of ARIANNA HUFFINGTON and BERNARD HENRI-LEVY. Looked like ALAIN GIRAUD may have been there as well, but I can't be sure. Idle and the Giraud lookalike repaired to Cafe Pinot for a post-talk meal, I expect to be joined by BHL and AH, since they were chatting on stage after the event.

FRIDAY, SEPT. 26

It was a transatlantic Dundler-Mifflin meetup on Friday (9/26) at the Magic Castle as JOHN KRASINSKI was hanging with STEPHEN MERCHANT (from The Office UK and Extras). The former looked way hotter and less goofy in person and the latter is a good seven feet tall and was chatting up AIMEE MANN.

I was dancing up a storm during the MSTRKRFT show at the Henry Fonda Theater when a guy walks right up and blocks my view. He turns around to face me and starts to mess around with his phone. I’m just about to call him out for being in my ‘personal space bubble’ (the dance floor was pretty empty by that time) when I realize that it’s JARED LETO! He looked a little rough: hair slicked back into a pony tail, scruffy facial hair, black army boots and red flannel shirt tight around his waste. '90s style flashback. I felt kind of sorry for him; Jared seemed a kind of bummed about not getting any celeb-like attention.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 27

A day earlier on Sept. 27, we saw RON LIVINGSTON and MEKHI PHIFER at the Shane Mosley-Ricardo Mayorga fight in Carson. They weren't together, dammit; Ron had his usual stubble and a third-row seat, while Mekhi was up on the concourse chatting with former fringe NBA player CHRIS MILLS before the main event.

SUNDAY, SEPT. 28

After watching my best friend perform an acoustic set at Level 5, someone commented "Hey, there's Jim from The Office." Sure enough, I turn around and there's JOHN KRASINSKI chatting it up with a very cute redhead and an equally cute blonde.

OWEN WILSON at The Other Room during the Abbot Kinney Festival. Fairly inconspicuous. He sat and texted the whole time, probably an hour two. I never saw him look up once. My trashed friend asked him what was going on with all the texting. Owen didn't understand the question. I think he left before the guy was killed outside. I saw that happen, pretty messed up.

Saw JONAH HILL at the Abbot Kinney Festival on Sunday the 28th. He was in the line for Sausage Masters but didn't seem to purchase anything. He must be on a diet as he's looking a little more svelte than usual. He was very sweet...

Saw BRENDAN SEXTON III at Sabor y Cultura cafe in Hollywood today. It was kind of dorky/endearing, there was a group of middle-aged gamers there and he went right over and was totally into it. He was with a tiny blond who was then forced to observe the gaming as well. I don't think anyone else knew who he was, I was just really into Welcome to the Dollhouse back in the day...

It feels like cheating to submit sightings from the A terminal at the Burbank airport, since celebs and plebes alike have to walk down that same narrow hall to exit the sad old barn, but what the hell. On Sunday night around 9 p.m., the following people walked by separately in a 4-minute span, presumably all coming off the late JetBlue flight from JFK: WILLIAM FICHTNER of Prison Break, wearing athletic-type clothes and walking so fast his hairline receded; NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, looking awesome in a black T-shirt and gaily chatting with some dude; CHLOE SEVIGNY, mousy-haired and depressingly dressed like a normal person; and finally AMY ADAMS, toting her own overstuffed Louis Vuitton bag and staring grimly ahead while marching with an entourage of at least two other chicks. No smile, no eye contact, still smoking hot.

Just got off AA115 from LHR to JFK. JOHN LEGEND was traveling in first class. A wee bit shorter then I anticipated.

Saw everyone’s favorite ex-lazy postman WAYNE KNIGHT at the Vendome Liquors in Toluca Lake on Sunday evening. Would have liked to say hi, but he was busy getting advice on red wine from one of the employees. Oh well.

MONDAY, SEPT. 29

RYAN PHILLIPPE with BFF and business partner BRECKIN MEYER at Nate 'n Al's in BH on Saturday morning.

1. Brad Pitt will win an Academy Award. We know the post-Toronto establishment has all but engraved Mickey Rourke's name on this year's Best Actor Oscar (hell, even Rourke has engraved his name on this year's Best Actor Oscar), but taking both The Wrestler (release date TBD) and Pitt's epic The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (12/25) sight unseen, we'll take the aging-backward-on-other-people's-bodies gimmick over the gritty indie comeback 10 times out of 10. Not that it won't be close: Brad Grey will spend more on his old pal's campaign than Fox Searchlight is probably ready to drop on Rourke's, but Rourke will be the more accessible nominee to the media. Look for dark horse Sean Penn (Milk) to split the field late; Focus Features won't settle for another 0-fer in '08.

2. W. (10/17) will tip the election to the GOP. Opening less than three weeks before Election Day, the film will be too muddled to move the Democrats yet irreverent enough to galvanize the Republican base against Hollywood one more time before voting. Oliver Stone will be recognized as the new Ralph Nader.

3. You're going to miss Don LaFontaine a lot more than you think. Otherwise execrable trailers like this one for The Haunting of Molly Hartley (10/31) acquired bittersweet relevance overnight:

4. The Weinstein Company will muscle its way back to prominence. Harvey had a relatively hemorrhage-free summer, closed out by his $16 million-grossing (and counting) Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Meanwhile, Zack and Miri Make a Porno (10/31) left Toronto with goodwill to spare, the LA immigrant saga Crossing Over (10/24) has Harrison Ford, Sean Penn and others channeling Crash, and the company bumped up The Reader for Kate Winslet Oscar consideration. (NB: The Rourke Factor also reportedly inspired Harvey to finally slot his long-shelved Killshot on Nov. 7.) The Weinsteins being the Weinsteins, of course, the operation could crash at any time, but at least the ensuing conflagration promises Hindenberg levels of spectacle. That's our Harvey.

5. Owen Wilson will emerge from, return to hiding after explaining the trailer to Marley & Me (12/25). That is all.

6. The Soloist (11/21) will be better than it sounds. But it sounds great, right? Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx, directed by Pride and Prejudice/Atonement helmer Joe Wright? Alas, the logline: "A schizophrenic, homeless musician from Skid Row, Los Angeles dreams of playing at Walt Disney Concert Hall." Based on a true story, natch: Downey Jr. plays the real-life LAT reporter who befriends him, warning Foxx behind the scenes about the perils of going full-schizo. All things being equal, we like their chances.

7. Charlie Kaufman's Synecdoche, New York (10/24) will be this year's unlikeliest tearjerker. Not just for its devastating, beautiful final act, but also for the probability that Sony Classics will weep red ink when it makes about five cents at the box office.

8. Twilight (11/21) will only be the second-best vampire movie released this fall. You won't find Let the Right One In (10/24) on the cover of EW, but you'll find the Swedish export in a lot of festival juries' hearts since last spring. Half coming-of-age romance and half vengeful horror epic, it picks up the story of a bullied 12-year-old boy whose sweet new girlfriend next door ends up being several thousand years older than she looks — and behaves accordingly. Genre distributor Magnet Releasing might only get this on a hundred screens, but watch the word-of-mouth and top-10-list acclaim bump it into sleeper status by the end of the year.

9. Extreme Movie will open to a $0 gross after viewers confuse it with the other, less-illustrious Movie franchise. But you can be prepared: Extreme Movie is the teen sex comedy starring Michael Cera and Frankie Muniz; Disaster Movie et. al. are the ones whose auditoriums smell faintly of piss. Know the difference!

10. Daniel Craig will miss 2006. Casino Royale was a surprising, sporadically brilliant reboot, but the honeymoon is over: Quantum of Solace's trailer isn't dazzling anyone; the title is stillborn; Sony couldn't settle on a US release date (it finally chose 11/14); and unfairly or not, franchise obsessives want nothing to do with new director Marc Forster. And all this after the Bond curse cost Craig part of his finger. It's a cruel world, but not as cruel as it'll seem after Defiance (12/12), the WWII Jewish resistance drama in which he and screen bros Liev Schrieber and Jamie Bell fight off Nazis during the invasion of Poland. Among the last of Paramount Vantage's orphaned prestige titles, and opening opposite Doubt, an expanded Frost/Nixon and The Day the Earth Stood Still, it's bound to knock Craig back to stardom's second tier for a while to come.

11. Beverly Hills Chihuahua (10/3) will astonish and amaze. But you already knew that.

1. Woody Was Owen's Personal Madam: Back in March 2007, when Owen and Kate were still in Phase One of their double act of a relationship, Wilson reportedly went on a Hawaiian vacation with his partner in paparazzi-bashing crime Harrelson, who owns a crash pad on the island. And the first sign of trouble in paradise came when Wilson was said to be hooking up with a Kate-lookalike coincidentally introduced to him in Hawaii by the Woodster.

2. Woody's Bare Butt Possibly More Scrumptious Than Kate's: And who can forget the, well, unforgettable sight of Harrelson's own set of natural born relationship-killers: the buns seen 'round the world while skinny-dipping with Wilson on a mid-Marley And Me, mid-Kate & Owen: The Sequel jaunt to Miami. Even Kate herself has pointed out her own lack of assets, and no matter how straight the Wilson is, who wouldn't be distracted from their current paramour's figure when face-to-ass with that behind?

3. Wildcats: Speaking of Woody's behind, both it and he made their film debut in the 1986 Goldie Hawn vehicle Wildcats, where Harrelson played Krushinski, the token dumb football player to Goldie's token ironic Chick Who "Gets" Sports role (see also: Bend It Like Beckham, A League Of Their Own or Blue Crush). As the NY Times noted in their review, this was "very much Miss Hawn's movie," the trailer speaks for itself when it comes to showing how Kate's mom dominated gum-chewing Woody's first chance to show his stuff, and despite its memorable spot in '80s cult classic sports movies, the film holds a 15% Fresh rating at Rotten Tomatoes. Whether or not Woody blames his dim debut on The Family is just a thought, but anyone as proud of their backside as he is might be miffed that its first shot at stardom was overshadowed by Goldie and her "sunny," "sexism-attuned" performance.

[Photo Credits: Celeb Pulp, Ecorazzi]

• WOODY HARRELSON IS DELIGHTED THAT OWEN WILSON AND KATE HUDSON ARE HISTORY [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]

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At LAX today, Anaconda star Owen Wilson wanted to show the fedora wearing community the proper way to use the latest fashion accessory: block your face from unnecessary exposure and photographs. Wilson felt that hat fanatic Samantha Ronson had been wearing her fedora improperly as of late. Wilson added, "Sometimes, you don't feel like having your picture taken and that's where the hat comes in. Throw it over your face and just carry on with your life." Wilson suggested that if Ronson was having issues with her hair then she should do what he does. Namely, either wear or carry an additional hat all the time. Wilson did say that the hat wasn't actually his; it belonged to his good pal, Woody Harrelson. Wilson said that the hat had a funny smell to it and wasn't sure if he would be able to get it through customs.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

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A crestfallen David Spade left Hollywood hot spot Coco de Ville after being mistaken for daytime talk show host Ellen DeGeneres ... again. While waiting for a drink at the bar, Spade was tapped on a shoulder by a woman and was told that the woman just loves her talk show and think it's really great that she's going to marry Portia De Rossi ("You've got to lock that down"). When the Rules Of Engagement star turned around, the woman's face turned bright red and she quickly apologized. After the incident, Spade held a mini conference with his amigos about creating a new look; Spade said, "It was okay when I used to get mistaken for a Hanson Brother or Owen Wilson or a Boz Scaggs roadie, but this Ellen comparison is happening too often."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Instead of Corey Feldman, try Corey Haim: At the time of Drew’s fling with Feldman, picking between the two Coreys was a matter of Eeny Meeny Miney Mo, Catch A Cokehead By The Toe. Judging by their subsequent trajectories, Drew may have made the wiser choice. But it’s the other Corey, sent to the bottom of his pill bag by Defamer commenters, who currently needs all the help Drew’s strawberry-scented guffaws can bring.

Instead of Luke Wilson, try Owen Wilson: Maybe back in the late 90s Luke seemed like the more intriguing Wilson. His nose wasn’t quite as broken as his brother’s, Owen hadn’t bewitched us all with his Hans in Zoolander, and Luke had yet to permanently banish himself from crush lists by actually sharing screen time with Jessica Simpson. But if Drew goes back to the Wilson well, Owen is clearly the front-runner these days.

Instead of Tom Green, try Dane Cook: Because the barren landscape of horrendously unfunny comedians has a new mascot, and Drew’s fondness of sticking her tongue down her boyfriend’s throat might be the only way to shut this one up.

Instead of Justin Long, try PC Guy: Because John Hodgman is a treasure and deserves some action. Bonus points for Drew if she agrees to film a cameo in the next Apple commercial, makes Justin cry, short-circuit whatever totally awesome new Mac he’s holding, and permanently erase that smirk from his face.

[Photo credits: Wireimage, Getty]

• STAR EXCLUSIVE! DREW BARRYMORE AND JUSTIN LONG: IT'S OVER! [Star]

Yes, one ball wonder Lance Armstrong is discovering the benefits to following his pony around, namely in the form of residuals. While Hudson made some attempt to gussy up for the new-ish couple's lunch with Goldie, the bicyclist and sometimes-cameo artist threw on an old t-shirt and couldn't be bothered to shave his beard, leaving him looking like flip flop-less Matthew McConaughey's understudy in Fool's Gold. Which is a look that only works when you're elbow-deep in garbage and tears. And when you're Matthew McConaughey.

[Photo credit: Splash]

• KATE AND LANCE HAVE A BEACHSIDE LUNCH WITH GOLDIE HAWN [People]

The Fake-Outs: Mid-2007, before Britney was deemed an American Tragedy, she was on her way by tragically dating the poor man's David Blaine, Criss Angel. And photos of her blonde-weaved sunglasses-at-night self wearing a sparkler set the Britney-hungry gossips ablaze, only to disappoint us when no marriage plans surfaced. Another Bimbo Summit alum, Lindsay Lohan, was rumored to be on the soberific path towards married life with then-beau Harry Morton in 2006 after showing up to a premiere purposely placing a ring-adorned hand on her hip. But we all know how that union turned out. And the most recent and admittedly exciting engagement rumors were sparked after photographs of Kate Hudson wearing a real-life wedding band surfaced just as gossip started spreading that she and Owen Wilson were back on. But a major "D'oh!" was heard loud and clear after realizing Kate was filming this flick called Bride Wars and merely in character.

The Real Things: Beyonce Knowles started wearing massive diamonds on all her fingers ever since she could afford them, but the one she wore this January while sitting next to Jay-Z at a concert ended up being the engagement variety after all. And just days after being photographed candidly in her car with a new rock, Jessica Alba confirmed her engagement to the confusing man of mystery that is Cash Warren. As for Mariah Carey, poor girl sparked engagement rumors by publicly showing off her ring from Nick Cannon, only to learn soon after the actual wedding that it was recycled. Oops.

[Photo Credits: Fametastic, Showbiz Spy, Female First, Babble, Stupid Celebrities, Hollyscoop, Daily Mail]

• NOW CAMERON DIAZ FUELS ENGAGEMENT RUMORS AS SHE FLASHES HUGE SPARKLER ON HER WEDDING FINGER [Daily Mail]

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The Darjeeling Limited star Owen Wilson was out and about in New York City's West Village on a bicycle ride. When asked if Wilson's decision to go for a bike ride had anything to do with the recent news about Wilson's old flame Kate Hudson dating cyclist Lance Armstrong, Wilson shook his head "no," and added, "Nah, I just wanted to experience this glorious and wonderful New York afternoon and have a little fun while I'm at it." Wilson also said that he hadn't heard about Hudson being linked to Armstrong because he's too busy working on a film and spending plenty of time at headquarters (and by headquarters, he meant the New York City strip clubs).

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

1. Group Dates Do Not A Romance Make: The "cozy dinner date" on Friday night that started all the rumors was actually a gathering of six people, not to mention four kids running around. Plus, the new couple didn't even sit next to each other.

2. Happy Livestrong Day! Lance is a proven expert when it comes to attaching his name to Hollywood names. He's already been linked to Sheryl Crow and Ashley Olsen, nabbed cameos on the big-screen (including You, Me And Dupree, the Wilson-Hudson rom-com), and gone on jogging dates with fellow shirtless enthusiast Matthew McConaughey. So it's hard to ignore the fact that he is once again making tabloid headlines during the same week as Livestrong Day, his annual bike ride held to raise awareness for cancer. Excellent cause, and an excellent way of calling attention to it?

3. Who Eats Tacos On A First Date? Hudson reportedly downed fish tacos on their "date," and Armstrong went for nachos. We're just sayin'.

• KATE'S REBOUND ROMANCE WITH LANCE [MSNBC]

Hudson’s recent Fool’s Gold flop hasn’t stopped her from signing up for yet more rom-coms revolving around silly girls and the silly boys they fall for. This September, we’ll see her in what sounds like You, Me And Dupree 2: This Time We’ve Got Dane Cook!, the “meet cute” vehicle My Best Friend’s Girl. And we’ve already seen shots of Kate filming what sounds like The Devil Wears Prada 2: Catfights Leap From The Office To The Altar!, the sure to be laugh-filled Bride Wars with Anne Hathaway and Candy Bergen. Though she has signed on for two dramas — Big Eyes, in which she’ll star as sad painter Margaret Keane, and A Dream Of Red Mansions — we just can’t get excited about “epic tales” set in mid-century China or Gwyneth-inspired attempts at Oscar fever playing a doomed artist.

As for Owen? No Oscars lie ahead, but cash definitely does. Marley & Me is based on the book with millions of fans, meaning a built-in audience awaits. And next year, the maligned money train that was Nightmare At The Museum will deliver its green-eyed sequel. Kate yearning for bucks and credibility, while Owen rolls in the dough with plenty of time to threesome-hop? Where is Dax Shephard when you really need him?

• KATE HUDSON & OWEN WILSON CALL IT QUITS [People]

At this point in Jessica Simpson’s sad, sad career, it’s become clear that her only chance of making headlines is by sleeping with a new guy, getting dumped by that new guy, or whining over one of the many guys who’ve dumped and/or slept with her. As we learned this week, her most recent conquest — QB Tony Romo, who Jessica called “her future husband” in Glamour’s March issue before admitting that “this article could come out and Tony and I could be broken up” — rid himself of the Game Day Curse just as her ex-fling John Mayer was popping up all over the weeklies swapping spit with Jennifer Aniston and her fembot nips. Naturally, Jessica reacted by drinking herself silly and, we presume, making several late-night calls to her Dadager, Papa Joe, requesting her next romantic PR stunt stat. So the question is: which lucky bachelors will Joe pay off set her up with this time to guarantee continuous coverage of his darling daughter? Our suggestions, after the jump.

Chase Crawford: Very worthy choice. Couple those gay rumors with his preference for blonde beards from the South, and it's a magic match in PR heaven.
Owen Wilson: Also a wise decision, though Joe would break the bank nabbing the Stallion. Also a blonde fan, Wilson is currently on the lookout for a Kate Hudson replacement and, if Jess is lucky, Wilson will relapse weeks into their depressing union, ensuring her distressed mug appears in the press for weeks.

Pete Wentz: Easy access, for sure. Both incestuous and sensational, Joe could always find a baby from whichever celebrity adoption agency delivered Suri Cruise to TomKat, and claim Pete is the father to not one, but both of his toothy princesses.
Sam Ronson: Sam is always available for the part of wingwoman, and the fits Lindsay would cause in the press would go on for months.

[Photo credits: Getty, Wireimage]

• JESSICA SIMPSON AND TONY ROMO THROW IN THE TOWEL [NYDN]

Regarding the Aniston/Mayer date in question, an OK! source described the pair as "very close and in deep conversation," while a pervier onlooker told Us, "they were very affectionate, definitely touchy, feely." Which is yucky, considering Mayer most recently touched and felt The Blogger Whose Name We Do Not Mention. But more importantly, Jen has been rumored to go on dates and flirt with co-stars Aaron Eckhart, Owen Wilson and, last we heard, Orlando Bloom. None of these rumors have ever gone the way of a Reese/Jake trajectory from "yeah, right" to one year relationship and still chugging along. How are we to interpret her behavior? Is she proving single women can date around and just have fun without worrying about that whole "settling down" thing? Or is this a PR-conceived strategy to make sure the public knows she's still a very wanted woman, and far from the teary mess Vanity Fair memorably cast her as just after her divorce? Lastly, should we just put a ban on any and all Jennifer Aniston Is Dating So-And-So stories in the future?

[Photo credits: Wireimage, FilmMagic, Daily Mail]

• JENNIFER ANISTON AND JOHN MAYER IN MIAMI [OK!]
• JENNIFER ANISTON, JOHN MAYER MEET IN MIAMI [Us]

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The photographer of this particular picture has assured his bosses and the editors of various weekly tabloid magazines that if they squint and stare real hard at the computer screen, they'll see it's a photo of Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson in a semi-romantic embrace. The photographer hopes to usher in a new era/style of paparazzi similar to the Magic Eye craze of mid 1990s. If one stares long enough, they'll be able to see some one famous.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]