Boomp3.com

Before heading off to a delicious brunch with a friend, Elizabethtown star Orlando Bloom tried to recall the events of the prior night and how he ended up with a sun tattoo on his belly. Bloom’s night started with a simple game of backgammon before heading off to Ye Olde Kings Head for a quick pint with a friend, and then Bloom’s memories become hazy at best. Bloom recalls eating slices of pizza that were as long as his arm and bacon wrapped street dogs, but it could’ve been something from a script he recently read. Bloom does recall waking up in the morning sprawled out on a sofa with a piece of Saran Wrap on his stomach. After much thought, Bloom decided to keep the sweet piece of ink since it will fit in within his overall tough guy make over.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Swashbuckling super star Orlando Bloom boldly announced to New York City that he's the proud owner of a motorcycle on Thursday afternoon. Bloom spent over five minutes reviving up the motor's engine while waiting for girlfriend, Miranda Kerr, to come downstairs. Once the Victoria's Secret model finally arrived, Bloom helped his sweetie put on her helmet. Kerr asked Bloom about his brand new chopper, but she was quickly corrected. Bloom said, "It's not a chopper, baby. It's an urban motorcycle. Hey, do I look like a tough guy yet?" Kerr shook her head "No" and added that he should incorporate more leather and denim into his outfit.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Professional swashbuckler Orlando Bloom attempted to do a fellow New Yorker a solid by standing guard over a motorcycle. The biker had to make a quick stop at a nearby Duane Reade and Bloom gladly offered his watching services. As soon as the man disappeared into the pharmacy, Bloom hopped on the machine and mimed the sounds of speeding away as he pretended that his girlfriend was clutching him around his waist. As Bloom began to shake the bike back and forth, he accidentally caused the kickstand to break, which sent the mean machine crashing to the ground. Bloom quickly ran down the street and into the nearest subway station.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Harrison Ford, Outed by Helen Mirren: "She considered him 'the nicest, sweetest guy you could want to meet. But he can't kiss - he finds it impossible to kiss on screen.' Then, she added: 'He's probably not very good off screen either. It's not just me - other actresses agree. Whenever we get chatting off screen and we get around to talking, we come to the same conclusion.'"

Jason Segal, Outed by Alyson Hannigan: "Alyson refused to kiss him or do any romantic scenes with him, because he smelled like smoke. He thanks her for forcing him to do that because now he not only smells better, he feels better as well."

Orlando Bloom, Outed by Keira Knightley: "Keira Knightley claims Johnny Depp is a better kisser than Orlando Bloom...When quizzed on who she thought was the best kisser out of the two actors, she told InStyle magazine: 'Johnny Depp certainly wasn't bad.' Despite Orlando's gushing praise for Keira's kissing technique, he did admit he found it 'peculiar.'"

Steve Carell, Outed by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: "I just see Steve Carell's lips. 'So the bottom of a cat's paw - the soft supple part underneath - that's what Steve Carell's lips are like. But his tongue is like kitty cat litter. That's the physical experience.'"

Woody Allen, Outed by Helena Bonham Carter: "He tells you up front certain ways of kissing he does not want. No exchange of liquid is permitted. It can be a bit offensive because he makes no effort at all."

Angelina Jolie, Outed by James McAvoy: "I can tell you what it was like to kiss her on a film set: It was awkward, sweaty and not very nice."

Tom Cruise, Outed by Thandie Newton: "Kissing Tom Cruise was slightly icky and sort of wet. I'd really go home at the end of the day actually moaning about how hot it was and how many times we had to do it."

Victoria Beckham, Outed by Corey Haim: "She does this little grr gnaw thing that felt like a girl gnawing on your lip."

Sienna Miller, Outed by James Franco: "The British beauty's toothache made filming a nightmare. Franco admits filming the scene was far from enjoyable and had to be cut short when his co-star complained. He says, 'I think we kissed once in that film and it wasn't at all intense - there was no rolling around or anything. Sienna's molar was giving her pain so she called the dentist!'"

Leonardo DiCaprio, Outed by Virginie Ledoyen: "I think Leonardo is a nice guy. But I don't want him as a lover. There [was] no honest passion. No real sensitivity in our love scenes. In our underwater love scenes all I could think of was not drowning. I can't even remember his kiss."

[Photo credits: Getty, Wire Girl, Showbiz Spy, Renee Ashley Baker, NetGlimpse, Wireimage]

• JAMES MCAVOY: KISSING ANGELINA JOLIE WAS 'NOT VERY NICE' [ITW]

Regarding the Aniston/Mayer date in question, an OK! source described the pair as "very close and in deep conversation," while a pervier onlooker told Us, "they were very affectionate, definitely touchy, feely." Which is yucky, considering Mayer most recently touched and felt The Blogger Whose Name We Do Not Mention. But more importantly, Jen has been rumored to go on dates and flirt with co-stars Aaron Eckhart, Owen Wilson and, last we heard, Orlando Bloom. None of these rumors have ever gone the way of a Reese/Jake trajectory from "yeah, right" to one year relationship and still chugging along. How are we to interpret her behavior? Is she proving single women can date around and just have fun without worrying about that whole "settling down" thing? Or is this a PR-conceived strategy to make sure the public knows she's still a very wanted woman, and far from the teary mess Vanity Fair memorably cast her as just after her divorce? Lastly, should we just put a ban on any and all Jennifer Aniston Is Dating So-And-So stories in the future?

[Photo credits: Wireimage, FilmMagic, Daily Mail]

• JENNIFER ANISTON AND JOHN MAYER IN MIAMI [OK!]
• JENNIFER ANISTON, JOHN MAYER MEET IN MIAMI [Us]

After attending the wedding of their mutually-shared manager in Mexico, those pesky paps snapped Jen and Orlando clad in bathing suits, sharing the same hotel veranda. And boy did the rumors fly! But now that the two are apparently back in crush mode, perhaps the pictures weren't too good to be true after all?

[Photo Credits: Getty Images, Just Jared]

• ORLANDO BLOOM GETS FLIRTY WITH HIS SECRET CRUSH JENNIFER ANISTON AT STAR-STUDDED PARTY IN LA [Daily Mail]

I did feel the need to tweak (New Line co-founder Michael Lynne's) nose once, when he seemed to be trying to diddle the cast of LOTR out of their well-earned share of the profits. It was at a party in Berlin after the opening of The Return of the King. I said "That's for all the trouble you've been causing!" I don't know who was more surprised: Michael, that I had taken his nose in my finger and thumb and twisted it gently, or me for having dared do it! At least one of us enjoyed it.

And, in desperately needed response to "rumors" that Viggo Mortensen and his other male castmates were fraternizing during production, only to beard it up in public:

This gossip is all news to me. Elijah [Wood], Dominic [Monaghan] and Orlando [Bloom] introduced me to their girlfriends during shooting. I didn't ever meet Viggo's partner although his son visited a a few times. It would seem that none of my friends can be accused of hypocrisy. Probably the fevered imagination of slashers is to blame.

McKellen's acknowledgment of such whispers is itself a brave step forward in smashing the Hollywood closet — a classy, conscientious refusal to allow even the basest of speculation to go ignored lest the valuable, "not-that-there's-anything-wrong-with-that" opportunity that follows gets away. Those incoming phone calls from Mortensen, Bloom and Co. are surely best wishes for a successful — and long — return to Middle-Earth.

• The Lord of the Rings [McKellen.com]

In today's episode: Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore; Al Pacino; Albert Brooks; Matthew Modine; Richard Lewis; Stephen Hawking; Orlando Bloom; Kate Walsh and Eva Mendes; Giovani Ribisi and Andy Samberg; Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen; Paul Bettany; Peter Berg, Minka Kelly, and Jason Lee; John Cho; Ginnifer Goodwin; Christian Siriano; Vanessa Paradis; Mary McDonnell; Reggie Bush; Jason Taylor; Chris Parnell; and Joel Madden.

· Cameron Diaz tripped up the bleacher steps at the LA Derby Dolls: Sirens vs. Fight Crew match Saturday 3/15 around 8pm in Historic Philipinotown (Temple and Westlake). Shr laughed it off as Drew Barrymore helped her up. They were in a group of 5-10 people and left about 3 minutes before the end of the 4th quarter. Rumor has it that Drew Barrymore is filming a Roller Derby-related movie.

· 3/14 - On my way out of the Starbucks on Beverly in Beverly Hills during the early morning rush, I passed Matthew Modine. He was looking good, almost like he'd been frozen in the early '90s. A few blocks away at lunch time, I stood next to Albert Brooks at a street corner. He smiled at me. I enjoyed our little moment.

· 3/16 - I was walking toward a crowd that seemed to be gathered outside the garage next to the Crate and Barrel on Beverly in Beverly Hills. As I got closer, the crowd parted and out stepped a jovial Al Pacino and his little boy (sans twin girl). They were chatting it up and looked to be having quite the father/son day. Pacino was dressed in his trademark head to toe black ensemble.

· 3/20 - Driving past the Peninsula Hotel just after lunch time, I caught Larry David's arch nemesis/best bud Richard Lewis. In typical Richard Lewis fashion, he looked like he had enough of this life and appeared to be mumbling to himself.

· Saturday, March 15 - 9:30PM Stephen Hawking
Heading to Madre's in Pasadena after the Roller Derby (go Kung Pao Tina!), we were resigned to the fact Ms. Lopez's restaurant's time may had passed and we certainly didn't expect to see Mamma J-Lo herself. Needless to say, you could have pushed the lesbian, the homo and the straight girl over with a friggin feather when none other than quantum gravity father Stephen Hawking was sitting front and center at a table behind the hostess stand. As he was being wheeled back from the bathroom (no pictures of that as we do have some level of decorum/were blocked by his "assistant'), he was nice enough to stop and "chat" with several young admirers; with each compliment he kindly hit the "THANKS" button on his wheelchair-mounted computer, which meant a spooky robot-like voice echoed and bounced around the shabby-chic decor.

· Orlando Bloom at the SGI-USA Buddhist Youth Conference at El Camino College in Torrance on Sunday, March 16th. He ducked out during the closing statements and went backstage to greet the youth performers, where he told them that they were inspiring to him.

· March 14th- I saw Seth Rogen this afternoon at the Whole Foods on Fairfax. He was with a girl I assume was his girlfriend.

· 3/16/08 A friend and I were wearing out our Sunday brunch welcome at Dusty's in Silverlake when in walks Kate Walsh with a friend. I was stunned that she looked normal, yes still skinny, but not so skinny I wanted to force feed her lard. She then sat down near us and I had to field my friend's repeated inquires as to what she was eating. She ate Eggs Benedict, but I told my friend it was steamed puppies. That shut her up. Somehow we outlasted Kate and ended up catching Eva Mendes for the lunch rush. She looked tres relaxed and her body was bangin' despite wearing unfortunate/unflattering but very "in" high-waisted pants. Dark, face engulfing shades, per Hollywood norm, were worn by both ladies.

· Wed March 19 - 10ish Osteria Mozza...Giovani Ribisi, who appears to be shrinking every time I see him (or maybe I'm eating too much Mozza pasta), and Andy Samberg at a table of four. I wanted to tell him I gave my girlfriend a dick in a box for Christmas and she dumped be 72 hours later, but I didn't.

· Just saw Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen at the Sunday morning Ojai farmers market. You'd notice him whether he was or wasn't famous because he's really tall and has a glowing shock of white hair. Mary Steenburgen looks more like the average Ojai matron — attractive, thin and not weirdly deformed like the plastic surgery veterans. They both had that fearful/wary/annoyed look stars do when they're out in public and they think people might approach. It must suck to have to be that defensive all the time.

· Paul Bettany at the Four Seasons cafe (3/16) late Sunday afternoon. Very tall, very pale, very cute. Winked at me the second time I spotted him in the lobby. Jennifer Connolly may have an appalling dress sense, but she's a lucky girl to have him.

· Last night, at the Wiltern, the Explosions in the Sky show: Friday Night Lights director Peter Berg, in a group with but not "with" with Minka Kelly, aka Lyla Garrity. At one silent point of the show some dude shouted "GO PANTHERS!" and Lyla said "That's awesome!" and high-fived with Berg. Also there: Jason Lee, sporting full Earl mustache, checking me out while smoking outside :)

· Friday, 3/14: A very tall John Cho sighted on Virgin America flight from LAX to SFO. Was wearing a bandage around his wrist. Accompanied by white CAA flack. Overheard him conversing about what to ask Baron Davis of the Golden State Warriors. Put on sunglasses when about to board, and then sat unobtrusively in first class. Heard others refer to him as "Harold! He's so cute!"

· Diminutive (aren't they all?) Ginnifer Goodwin came in for a late dinner at AOC Wednesday night. She was with a small group of folks, was seated at her table as the restaurant was clearing out around 10ish (another reminder of what an early town L.A. truly is), and carried a fucking awesome Miu Miu harlequin handbag that I totally covet.

· 3/14/08: Supertrannyhotmessferociafiercenessfromtransylvania Project Runway winner Christian Siriano at Popstarz in Weho. He was very tiny — Precious Moments sized — and very sweet allowing all the gheys to take pics with him. There was one overzealous girl who looked like she was going to crush his hollow bird bones with her 98-pounds of huggy grip.

· 3/15/08: BevCen Heritage 1981 — gotta love discount trendy clothes made of asbestos fibers, yo — Vanessa Paradis and spawns of Johnny Depp. She was with a nanny type and stuck at the chola-manned checkout forever (XXI). Nobody seemed to know who she was. The ParaDepp kiddos are superadorable and well behaved. Vanny looked like a beat-down Keri Russell, but we know the sultry songstress can clean up real purdy and stuff, like face of Chanel purdy.

· Wednesday, 3-19-08, 8:30pm or so: OMG, the only and only but only somewhat awesome Mary "Battlestar Galactica" McDonnell, at LAX, at where else, but the fucking Aadmirals Club, Terminal 4, because we know why we fly. The starship she captains was not parked at any gate, so maybe she was just slumming at a fancy airport bar? The gal has big tits, but I'd still rather see one of those randy handsome young Battlestar fighter pilots. Oh well, next trip maybe.

· 10:55 AM, Friday 21 March USC Heisman trophy winner Reggie Bush sits with a woman sporting long straight black hair (who is not Kim Kardashian - BOOH!!) at an outdoor table at Jinky's on Sunset. No baseball hat, no sunglasses, white t-shirt, black track pants, sneakers. He eats some sort of meat that still has bones attached or inside (ribs or wings family). He orders a second meal, a sandwich, but when it comes he sends it back. It reappaears in a to-go box. A random tall white guy approaches him and starts blabbering about some pizza place he is opening. Reggie looks uncomfortable. Pizza man shuffles off. Reggie splits the check dutch with his dining companion. Reggie drives off in a low riding silver sports car with spoilers that leave no ground clearance. It is an unlogo'ed make that we have never seen before with tinted windows - but it looks like what a young millionaire athlete should drive. He also heads westbound down sunset. [Relegate this to Deadspin? The Dustbin?]

· I saw Jason Taylor of the Miami Dolphins pulling out of the Hollywood CBS Television complex on Sunday evening (March 17th), in his white Bentley convertible with Florida plates. He was talking to someone on his cell and had a big smile on his face. Maybe he just cut a TV deal is giving up football for good?

· Ex-Narnia rapper Chris Parnell noshing with the rest of the lowlifes at Canter's on a Tuesday night (3/11). Chatting with a female friend, looked platonic. Couldn't see his plate to see if he ordered one of their deliciously spongy Monte Cristos. Seriously, best thing on the menu.

· sat march 15th. noon. joel madden just walked into the Armenian starbucks in glendale on pacific and burchett. he's totally blinged out and wearing that little black hat. talking on his phone. Looks like he pulled up in a black mercedes suv. no nicole or harlow in sight. :-(

In today's episode: Vince Vaughn; Dustin Hoffman; Orlando Bloom; Brad Pitt; Cee-Lo; Gary Oldman; James Marsden and Ron Livingston; James Cromwell; Gary Busey; Matt Leinart; Wanda Sykes; Jason Schwartzman and Zooey Deschanel; Bill Maher, Will.I.Am, Patti LaBelle, and Roger Cross; Loni Anderson; Diablo Cody; Vivica A. Fox; Adrian Grenier; Matisyahu; Amanda Seyfried; Jimmy Fallon; Marcia Cross; Marg Helgenberger; Ellen Pompeo; Kelly Lynch; Joshua Malina; and Shane West.

· Jan 30 - Vince Vaughn was leaving the Arclight parking lot at the EXACT SAME TIME as me... (Sunday night) I guess US Weekly was right. Celebrities are just like us!

· I saw Dustin Hoffman eating breakfast at Coral Tree Cafe in Brentwood Sunday morning (1/27). Unlike most actors, he seemed taller in person...

· Orlando Bloom at the Black Rebel Mortorcycle club show at Safari Sam's on 1/25

· 1/17 [Ed. note: This one seems to have slipped through the cracks. Sorry for the delay.] spotted cee lo at the hollywood and highland american apparel, buying size xl jackets and hitting on the girl who was ringing him up. heard something to the effect of, "have you ever dated a famous rapper?" also- old news, but spotted brad pitt on the 12th or 13th walking into katsuya on hollywood blvd. gorgeous in person and for once, i was a little starstruck about seeing tyler durden IRL.

· While waiting in the pouring rain to get into Avalon around 10:15 p.m. on Saturday (01/26), a parade of upscale folks were exiting some sort of private event. Among them was a man in glasses who looked suspiciously like Gary Oldman. He was with three people, including an attractive brunette, and as he walked by me I heard the distinctive British accent which confirmed his presence. His group ran down Vine into the rain sans umbrella, and I wondered why don't we see more of him outside of Harry Potter movies?

· Saturday lunch at the cafe at American Rag, saw Ron Livingston walk in and have a leisurely lunch with his girlfriend, then spotted James Marsden (separately) at a table outside, playing with his iPhone, brunching with a girl, and talking about awards season.

· James Cromwell of BABE/QUEEN/24 fame dining with a similarly aged woman at Art's Diner in Studio City for lunch on 1/29.

· 1/22/08 Noonish, at the Staples in West LA. Gary Busey, looking just as crazy as he did on Entourage, grumbling to a cashier about the WGA strike, "I can't wait till it's over, so I can just get back to work you know?" He then did a few awkward spins in the aisles, maybe looking for divine intervention. Don't think he found it.

· 1/25, noon-ish. I see a tall, typical Westside frat boy type dude walking out of the Beverly Glen Deli. But then the glaring wardrobe choice made me aware there was a celebrity in my midst: NFL quarterback Matt Leinart, sporting a red Arizona Cardinals sweatshirt. Is that part of his contract or something? But in hindsight, I give Leinart kudos for not rocking the Tom Brady metrosexual look. Gisele dresses Tommy like he's a cast member of THE HILLS.

Later that afternoon, at the Ralphs on Ventura and Coldwater, Wanda Sykes intensely perusing the produce section. Except for some Kettle Chips, Wanda's cart was jammed packed with fruits and veggies. That's right, I looked.

· It's a little late, but on Sat 1/19 I saw Jason Schwartzman at RFD on La Cienega. He had longish (chin length) hair and a terrible 70's porn star mustache. He was with Zooey Deschanel and a couple of random hipsters.

· Bill Maher had a really fun weekend. He attended the Crustacean 10th anniversary party on Fri night in BH, where I saw him dragging that dark curly-haired girlfriend of his up the stairs to the VIP balcony area and rocking out to the unannounced performances by Will.I.Am and the high-voiced guy from Earth Wind & Fire and Patti LaBelle (girlfriend looks great for 63!). Also, Curtis from 24 (RIP, Roger Cross) was there. Then Sat night Bill took in the Fab Faux show at the Avalon, where I again saw him dragging his lady, this time toward the exit. He doesn't strike me as a Beatles guy, maybe he likes that two band members play in late-night talk show bands.

· Wednesday 1/16 - Loni Anderson at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, looking more and more like Wayland Flower's "Madam."

· Yes, Diablo Cody is just like us - like me, anyway: shopping at the WeHo Target on a rainy Sunday (1/27) morning, though she seemed a little less familiar with the store layout than I. I probably wouldn't have noticed her had it not been for her leopard print coat and knee socks wardrobe. The socks were SERIOUSLY fugly - grey and pink plaid. Can't wait to see what kind of quirkiness she'll be sporting to the Oscars...

· I was in Long Beach on Sunday (1/27) to visit Star Trek: The Tour at the Queen Mary dome. Geeky? You bet. But the woman I ran into at the box office (and saw inside) was actually wearing pointed ears and Vulcan eyebrows! They weren't enough to disguise the beautiful Vivica A. Fox, however, who looked to be having a great time with some friends. Live long and prosper, Viv!

· Jan 28 - A rare non-Los Feliz/SL area Adrian Grenier sighting last week: our twin silver Priuses (silently) hummed along side by side in Bev Hills. I let him in to make a right turn; my driving good graces would not have been extended had he been driving a Porsche or SUV.

At Murano, where the alter kaker gray haired set and the younger gays mix on west Melrose, my friend and I were utterly shocked when we spotted a group of Orthodox Jewish guys coming into the lounge to celebrate some party girl's birthday. Maybe it's our own internalized anti-Semitism at work, but weird and unprecedented for me to see Orthodox people in that sort of context. So it made a little more sense when we figured out afterward that a long bearded dude in the group was former-Chasidic-but-still-Orthodox-quasi-reggae singer Matisyahu. Talk about a confusing zig zagging social juxtaposition.

Amanda Seyfried (Mean Girls, Veronica's dead bestie Lilly on V. Mars, and Big Love) was wandering the aisles of Mayfair today (1/28).

· Jan 31- I'm having breakfast Saturday at Clementine's and in walks Jimmy Fallon with a woman I assume is his wife/girlfriend/future wife. I believe she's one of the gals from D. Barrymore's company. Anyway, there was also a short guy with them - not sure of his story. And Fallon was wearing black jeans. And his hair looked just as I suspected it might if I were to ever see him in person.

· Marcia Cross (sans makeup!) and hubby escaping the rain at the Bigg Chill frozen yogurt on Olympic & Westwood on Saturday night.

· Tuesday, Jan 29 around lunch time, Marcia Cross shopping at Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills with a woman with the same bright orange hair, which was just a coincidence, I think the other reddy worked there. Marcia in jeans and no makeup actually did not look scary like one might expect.

· Yesterday 1/29/08, spotted stripper turned CSI Katherine (Marg Helgenberger) in the valet area of Century City Medical Plaza/Hospital. She was wearing Ugg boots like every other female in at least a two mile radius (myself included). Sparkly beautiful huge rock on her finger. Nice sparkly car too. She was chewing her gum very hard and loudly either to a) get people to not talk to her or b) get herself noticed, I couldn't quite figure out which one.

· 1/24/08 - lunch hour: Ellen Pompeo and husband grocery shopping at the Fairfax Whole Foods. Eat, Meredith, eat. It's good for you.

· Kelly Lynch at Mustardseed, Saturday 1/26. She seemed to be friendly with the staff so maybe a regular though I've never seen her there before.

· Wanting to get my high protein burrito on at howdy's in the malibu country mart today, I spied a even-more-handsome-in-person former jed bartlett speech writer, current "big shots" philanderer (did anyone even watch that show?), joshua malina. he was working the still-on-strike-5:00-shadow and really was quite good looking.

· Jan 29 - Shane West at Jumpin' Java in Studio City.

In today's episode: Kiefer Sutherland; Clint Eastwood and Zooey Deschanel; Ryan Gosling; Hilary Swank; Orlando Bloom; Shia LaBeouf; Jason Schwartzman; Laurence Fishburne; Adrian Grenier; Sarah Michelle Gellar; Christina Applegate; Wentworth Miller; Justin Chambers; Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani; Bradley Cooper; T.R. Knight; Tom Verica; Danny Bonaduce; John Hensley; and Danny Pintauro.

· Tues. 1/22, at Vermont in Los Feliz. KIEFER. Freshly sprung, and looking none the worse for all of that laundry duty. He was enjoying an early and relatively sedate dinner with a group of mostly male friends. Well-rested, clean-shaven, non-drinking. What is the world coming to?

· At the Whole Foods on Sepulveda in Sherman Oaks. I was checking out at the register and felt the customer behind me breathing down my neck. I turned to tell him to get out of my personal space when I realized that it was Ed Begley Jr. . That's a lame sighting but moments later he turned to say hello to a passing customer and it was no other than Clint F'n Eastwood. Clint looking good though the sweat pants were up a little high.

· I found myself at the Studio City In-N-Out for lunch today. As I'm getting in line, I spot Ryan Gosling sitting to the left eating a double-double. No, it wasn't protein style. I couldn't tell if he was eating fries, so I couldn't tell you if he's counting carbs. He was scruffy, wearing the non-working actor uniform of a flannel over a wife beater. His lunch date was a normal looking girl- I mean that as a compliment- she wasn't a Hollywood skank or looking like Ryan's fellow ex-Mickey Mouse Clubber Britney. He did most of the talking. An old man wished him luck on an Oscar win. I heard a few girls- they weren't really sure if it was him or not. He wasn't recognizable to most people in the joint. As I ate my double-double, I thought to myself- Brad Renfro and Ryan Gosling- 2 former kid actors , 1 dead, 1 a great actor. Ryan and the lady drove off in her red Chevy Cobalt sedan with Massachusetts plates. LA is great- A double-double is a double-double whether I'm eating it or Ryan Gosling's eating the same hamburger- doesn't matter if you're a movie star or a schlub like me- a double-double is still a double-double. (apologies to Warhol)

· While waiting in the Seattle airport for a return flight to LA last night (1/24), I noticed a pair of super cool boots in the crowd. When I looked up, I realized that they were attached to Hilary Swank. She is much more petite than I had expected and looked great without makeup or fancy clothes.

· Orlando Bloom at the 101 Coffee Shop this morning around 11 am with a few people. He was sitting at a booth facing the crowd - I love when celebs love being seen. No hiding here! Some chicks were chatting him up from the counter.

· 1/23 - On Wednesday morning, Shia LaBeouf stopped into Aroma in Studio City for a coffee. He looked freshly showered with his curly hair slicked back, and he was wearing a plaid shirt, jeans and sneakers in a retro way without looking like he's trying too hard. Nice.

· Sunday 1-20 at the Fairfax Whole Foods:

Almost collided into Zooey Deschanel in the cosmetics aisle. Very cute despite the Frumpy Boho look.

Then while perusing the soups in the deli section, a small group of small hipsters hailing each other. One of them was Jason Schwartzman looking like a hirsute elf. At the check out, my cashier asked his bagger if that was he, I nodded yes, then (the cashier) proceeded to tell everyone around him that it was Jason. The checker must have just moved to L.A., to be so starstruck. But then when I first moved to L.A., I was pretty excited over Loni Anderson.

· Met my best pal for breakfast today (Thursday, 1/24) at the S&W Country Diner in Culver City when who walks in and perches himself in the cramped corner of the counter by Laurence "Don't call me Larry" Fishburne. He wore a cloth golf jacket that would've looked good on a 74-year-old duffer at Hillcrest Country Club. Spent the whole time chatting on his cell, via a bluetooth. Dude looks completely ordinary in person.

· At the Coffee Table in Silver Lake today (1/15) and saw a scruffy, familiar face. Thought I knew him from some 12-step meetings or somewhere, but then realized it was Adrian Grenier from "Entourage". He was with a pretty blonde girl with indie-rock bangs who at one point was definitely crying. Thought he might be breaking her heart, but later she was smiling, so my friend and I figured it was more like her bird died or something. Oh, and last thing: I nominate Adrian for the new Kiefer. Not for debauchery, but for his Eastside ubiquitousness.

· January 15th at Hollywood hot spot Crimson. Sarah Michelle Gellar all decked out in a beautiful blue dress hanging out in the outside patio enjoying a cigarette with some other beautiful people in her party. Looked like they were celebrating something.

· Thursday, January 24, 4:40-ish

Christina Applegate looking very sad at the 7-11 on the corner of Holloway and La Cienega. Maybe it's because I got the last 1/4 pound Big Bite.

· 1/18/08- Perusing the aisles of dusty overpriced tchochkes in Pasadena's Camden Antiques, I looked up to see Prison Break's Wentworth Miller wandering about. Gay? Straight? Who cares. They guy is smokin' and the only desirable object I wanted to take home.

· saw the ridiculously hot JUSTIN CHAMBERS aka DR. KAREV on GREY'S ANATOMY, yesterday 1/21, on Little Santa Monica. he was walking by Sprinkles Cupcakes, wearing dark brown leather pants (in broad daylight? really?) and movie star sunglasses. he was carrying a pink Juicy Couture shopping bag.

if he wasn't so hot, i'd say he looked a little 'McDouche-y'.

· I spotted Gavin Rossdale, Gwen Stefani, and their monkey child at the Hollywood farmer's market this past Sunday. Ridiculously good looking family. Gavin is extremely fuckable in person.

· Bradley Cooper at Hal's at Friday lunch, 1-18-08. JFC. I need lube, now.

· t.r. knight (flocked by 4 very attractive men) at the 4:10 arclight showing of 27 dresses on saturday, 1/19. how cute, supporting the friend. but the movie wasn't that good to see it 2x so does that mean he wasn't invited to the premiere? scandalous.

· Jan 21 - Southwest Flight this morning to Salt Lake City saw Tom Verica. Had glasses (for reading, not for the sun), baseball cap and an iPhone. My kind of man.

· Monday, Jan 14th, Rock n' Roll Ralphs. Danny Bonaduce walked in front of my car, trying desperately to get away from a really pissed off dark-haired lass. I wish I could have stayed for the obviously brewing fight, but the line of cars behind me would not allow it. I haven't seen him since the late eighties, outside a valley bar where he—dressed in full leathers— solemnly mounted a moped and scootered off into the night. Classy.

· just saw matt (John Hensley) getting off a virgin america flight at lax (1/17) while i wait to board the same plane. he's way less tranny looking in person

· Weekend of fun gays — Danny Pintauro (Jonathan from Who's The Boss!!) at Friday night showing of 27 Dresses at Century City. Tiny, plaid shirt, screamed a lot. Also of note, someone totally puked at the Cloverfield showing that afternoon at The Grove. Yay?

In today's episode: Orlando Bloom; Matthew Perry, Kevin Pollak, and a Lesser Baldwin; Chris Rock; Andy Garcia, Steven Bauer, Nestor Carbonell, Zach Braff, Donald Faison, and Sarah Chalke; Tim Curry and Ellen Pompeo; David Hasselhoff; Justin Chatwin and Molly Simms; Milo Ventimiglia; Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis; Andy Dick; Harry Hamlin; Jorja Fox and Aimee Mann.

· I noticed Orlando Bloom taking in the Tracey Emin opening at the Gagosian Saturday night, looking happy and dapper. Later he was talking to the artist, possibly asking what it would cost for the large needlepoint of her bush.

· My fiance and I were at the AMC in Century City Friday night (11/02) getting our tickets to see American Gangster when I noticed a man who looked like he had to be one of the Brothers Baldwin (either Billy or Stephen, we couldn't decide). Then I noticed that the Unspecified-Baldwin-Brother (UBB) was talking to Matthew Perry, an unknown female, and Kevin Pollack. As I could only hover so long w/out being extremely obvious (and was a little embarrassed as the main person I wanted to stare at was Kevin Pollak b/c I've always had this weird crush on him), we proceeded downstairs to stand in line before our theater opened up. UBB walked into the theater showing Bee Movie. Matthew, Kevin, and "unknown female" entered the theater showing American Gangster while it was still being cleaned, and the rest of us plebes waited in line. When they let us in, I made sure that we were sitting behind our VIPs. Sadly, the most exciting thing I have to report is that Matthew Perry kept saying something like "But...I don't understand" after every preview, and Kevin Pollack lol-ed during odd and not-purposefully-funny parts of the movie (primarily, whenever Armand Assante was on screen—maybe because Armand sounded like he was trying to "do" Brando-as-Don-Corleone and it *was* kind of funny).

· Coming empty-handed out of the LA Eyeworks sale Saturday I spied Chris Rock and a very lovely woman coming out of a nearby store. Not being stalky or nothing (I wanted to catch the DASH at Fairfax to Beverly and home) I followed them; he waved to a couple of store owners and they ducked into that store with the red carpet across from Fairfax High. He's quite nice looking in person and his date was not only lovely but not anorexic. They looked like a nice couple, and like they were having a great time shopping on the cool-ish evening. Damn them.

· Friday Night, spotted Andy Garcia, Steven Bauer and Nestor Carbonell sharing a booth at La Loggia in Studio City. Later the same night, cast members from Scrubs seemed to take over the end of the bar area, Donald Faison, Sarah Chalke and Zach Braff, all showed up.

· Nov 5 - Hollywood Farmers Market - Ellen Pompeo, looking like one big pill perhaps because no one was paying attention to her, and her fiance. Also Tim Curry.

· David Hasselhoff sighting last night (Nov. 1) at the Whole Foods in Brentwood sans sunglasses.

· 11/2—molly sims and justin chatwin celebrating a friends birthday at the new david myers restaurant comme ca.

· 11/1- La Scala, Beverly Hills. I spotted Milo Ventimiglia from Heroes eating lunch with two guys. He was very well dressed and very good looking.

· 10/31/07—stopped by Gelson's on Santa Monica around lunchtime and found Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis doing a big grocery shop. alcohol and party supplies seemed to fill most of the cart, so i'm guessing a halloween party was in store for those two. he had on a hat and sunglasses and was about the same height as her (in other words, short).

· Saturday, saw a desperate for attention Andy Dick getting thrown out of IO West for disturbing shows there. Douchiness never goes on strike

· This morning (11/5): made eye contact with Harry Hamlin, while walking to work, in an alley behind Ventura Blvd., in Sherman Oaks. His cartoon fish-lipped wifey (don't get me wrong - I lurved Lisa Rinna in DOOL) is apparently opening up her own boutique on the Boulevard. He looks exactly like he does on TV and pictures, which is to say he looks like he's been 50 years old for the past 20 years.

· Nov 4, Silverlake. Whilst enjoying a nice brunch at my fave place (that i will not name), spotted soon to be former CSI Jorja Fox brunching with some friends. Taller than you'd expect and dressed quite frumpily. Also enjoying the food was chanteuse Aimee Mann without hubby. Tall and v thin.

• Orlando Bloom crashes car as tailed by paparazzi [Reuters]

MTV: You keep saying things like "I've loved working with [Johnny Depp]." Is this the end of the line for you? What is the future of the "Pirates" franchise?

Bloom: I'm looking forward to "Pirates 10" because I'm gonna come out with a walker, and Johnny's gonna be wheeling himself out in a wheelchair. [He laughs.]

MTV: Seriously, though, Johnny has said he'd do more. Would you?

Bloom: Honestly, it's been a really great, fun ride. I'm looking forward to doing some theater in London at the end of this.

While At World's End might indeed mark Bloom's last swing of the scimitar, we wonder how long he'll be able to tread the West End boards before he begins to long to return to the creative womb of the seafaring trilogy. Sure, the dialogue may not be Chekhov or Stoppard—Bloom even admitted to EW recently that "the writers can't even explain the third movie"—but explosion for explosion, 8-figure paycheck for 8-figure paycheck, nothing quite fulfills an actor's shallow need to validate their bankability like starring in a Jerry Bruckheimer production.

Bonus Link: Merry trailer-mashing pranksters Black20 are back again with their take on Captain Jack Sparrow's latest adventures, co-starring Sloth, Rizzo the Rat, and Richard Grieco.

• Orlando Bloom Says He's All Done With 'Pirates,' 'Lord Of The Rings' [MTV News]

In today's episode: Forest Whitaker; Orlando Bloom; David Caruso; Dustin Hoffman; Jay Leno; David Spade; Ryan Reynolds; Tony Hale and Kelly Clarkson; Tim Allen; Tim Allen; Giovani Ribisi, Danielle Rees, and Zooey Deschanel; Scott Speedman; Thomas Lennon; Meg White; Brooke Burke and David Charvet.; Ben Harper and Laura Dern; Donald Faison and Cacee Cobb; Mario Lopez, Dante Spencer, and Isaac Cohen; Nick Carter, Brian Littrell, and Howie Dorough; Justin Guarini and Jesse Camp.

· So I went to this Hollywood Reporter reception at Crustacean on Monday and was enjoying wine and mini-bowls of garlic noodles when Academy Award Winner Forest Whitaker (please bold entire phrase) cruised by with his wife. Good sighting, but it gets better. On his way to the door, a little Asian guy in the jazz/R&B band notices Forrest and announces on the loudspeaker "Forest! Forest!" and somehow convinces the couple to come to the front of the room. The guy then proceeds to get everyone's attention and SERENADE him with John Lennon's "Imagine." Extremely awkward. The crowd just kind of looked on in puzzlement. But Forest was gracious, posed for a few photos with that little woman who owns the place, then high-tailed it to the valet (literally I think I heard screech marks when he pulled away).

· — Viceroy Hotel in Palm Springs (Saturday 10 March)...was lounging by the pool with cocktails and friends and saw what looked like a weathered version of David Caruso...yeah, you can guess where this is going...it was David Caruso. He was down there for his wife's birthday and she brought 4 fellow gays with her (2 of which were quite hot). They appeared to have a few small children (his?) and nannies in tow. He said hello and seemed like a nice guy but I really wanted him to pull his sunglasses down and tell me I was going to jail for killing his brother or something.

— Il Sole (12 March)...birthday dinner with friends (long ass wait but amazing food) and in strolls Orlando Bloom with an angry publicist type. Its not a big restaurant but he proceeded to be greeted by or greet someone at almost every table. There was one oversized blonde with an English accent that hovered around him most of the time...she looked familiar but I have no idea who she is. Orlando was sporting some curly brown locks and a cute sweater. He's a bit too girlish for my taste, and I don't think he can act his way out of a paper sack, but he's cute so who cares. Four paparazzi were waiting for him outside the restaurant.

· 3/12 pm- Saw Mr. Focker himself, Dustin Hoffman, at my current fav restaurant and serious Cougar hangout, Bandera in Brentwood. Pretty much what I expected him to look like, and seemed really nice. I was hoping to see him with Sacha Baron Cohen, since I've heard they've been joined at the hip lately- but no luck. That would have been niiiicccceeee.....

· I'm driving down some side street in Burbank last week trying to beat the traffic on Hollywood Way to the Burbank Airport, when I see some aged contraption ahead with billowing mounds of black smoke coming from where the exhaust pipe should be. I mean this thing was a pollutin' machine. The neighbors probably thought the street had been closed to film the next Towering Inferno movie. I pull up alongside the driver, give him a dirty look, and it's none other than Jay Leno. He doesn't smile, just returns the dirty look, I pass him and continue on my way.

· if you ever want to have breakfast with david spade (and why would you?) he can apparently be found at the belmont on la cienega. the last 3 times i was there with family he was eating inside with "his posse". my mother says he has "dookie drawers" which means he has a big ass. i don't know if he actually wears adult diapers full of shit but whatevs. he's usually there with kevin farley ( brother of the late chris farley) who looks good. david is, per usual. tiny and a bit girlish. does heather have lezzie tendencies???

· Fri 3/16 @ 11:50am - Van Wilder himself, Ryan Reynolds, getting ready to ride off on his silver Ducati motorcycle on Roxbury Drive and little Santa Monica. The bike caught my attention first before the rider.

· Saw Tony Hale and his lovely wife at the amazing Patty Griffin show at the Wiltern tonight, 3/13 — Buster was always my favorite Bluth so I had to try hard not to geek out. They seemed very normal/cute.
Also saw Kelly Clarkson at the same show, very low-key ... hat and no makeup, and accompanied by an older woman—maybe her mom? Thumbs up to Kelly for her taste in music ... I knew I always liked that kid for a reason!

· gelson's studio city, tues nite, about 6ish. there's tim allen, who's next to me in the frozen pizza section (wouldn't he have a personal chef or something?) he opts for digiornio's while i get california pizza kitchen. he gives me one of those "surprised friendly" smiles that makes me think at first that i know him. all i can think of is that heonce got busted for DUI, right? i never watched "home improvement."

· Giovanni Ribisi with a newly blonded Danielle Rees, Zooey Deschanel and other male friend at the dive bar "Little Joy" in Echo Park. The girls are both gorgeous in person albeit quite a bit thinner than I'd imagined. They were hamming it up in the dj booth while the fellas looked on. Giovanni, like a fine wine, is getting better with age. I'd never thought of him as "sexy" before, but a few dignified lines and some facial hair have changed my heart. All four of them were drinking water or red bull all night. (Scientology thing maybe?) They seemed happy. No PDA to be seen though.

· Wed 3/10 @ 4:00pm - A very bearded Scott Speedman outside the Arclight lobby by himself heading towards the parking lot.

· Saturday, the 10th, spotted Thomas Lennon from Reno 911 walked in the Jamba Juice near Beverly Center. He was sporting his character's famous 'stache and enjoying a morning walk with his dog. About an hour later, inside Bev Cen, Dita Von Teese was walking near the Louis Vuitton store. She looks EXACTLY the same in person, jet black hair, red lipstick, and a tight black outfit.

· Thursday, the 15th, Meg White from The White Stripes was dining at Swingers on Beverly. She looked totally casual and relaxed, even though it was 2 in the morning. Two guys joined her at the booth, but Jack was not there.

· Don't know if this counts as a "celebrity" (the line is murky these days), but saw Brooke Burke and hubby (??? looks like a leftover from "Baywatch") [ed. note Extreme Makeover's Garth Fisher M.D. Baywatch's David Charvet] eating at Blue Plate on Montana in SM on Sunday. I can't remember what she's famous for, other than taking her clothes off and some shit on E! She was in a sun dress thing-y and flipflops that probably cost more than all of our meals combined. Sunglasses and baby strapped to her ample (fake) boobs.

I'm not a fan of her (looked very plastic), but the other two males thought she looked good (the woman in our group gave her a "eh"). Apparently Brooke and her annoyingly LA hubby forgot to either pay or take their credit card. Weird confusion that resulted in the waitress running after them. They came back to clear up the confusion, but by then the four of us had lost interest in the soap opera.

Mere seconds later, Ben Harper and Laura Dern sauntered by (near the Peet's at the corner). Looking attractive, tall and lean— they're a couple who looks like they enjoy a lot of sex. Usually I'm not a Laura Dern fan, but damn...she was looking fine. And Ben is almost hot enough to turn a man gay. I thought to myself that I'd kill for that physique (as I puffed stupidly on my post-breakfast cig). My brother was visiting from out of town, so it was a nice "welcome to LA" morning. Now, if only I can stumble across Grace Park, I'll die a happy man.

· 3/11 - On Sunday, I passed Donald Faison w/ Cacee Cobb pulling into the parking lot at the Coffee Bean on Sunset & Hayworth. He was driving a black Prius and looking very happy.

· Shopping at Macy's Glendale Galleria last Friday afternoon (March 10) when I ran into Isaac Cohen, Britney's ex, browsing the men's department.
I stuck around for a few minutes later and realized he was there to work a Cubavera event. Around an hour later, Mario Lopez shows up for a meet and greet.
People lined up to see him flash the mega dimple smile and maybe see him strut his stuff, but no dancing there. And to complete the trio of man candy, Dante Spencer (I know he's Paula Abdul's ex because somebody said so) also worked the room. I must say, all three were easy on the eyes and caused quite a stir among the ladies.

· Saturday March 10th. Mario Lopez of Saved by the Bell fame with hot Latina in tow at the Magic Castle. At one point during a show, a magician called out, "Hey Mario, I see you here all the time. Are you a member or something?" to which a slightly embarassed Lopez replied in the affirmative. So I guess that's what he's been doing since the Bayside years ended.

· Yesterday, March 13th at Koo Koo Roo in Museum Square area on Wilshire Blvd. Three Backstreet Boys, Howie Dorough, Brian Littrell, and Nick Carter (I had to look up their names on the internet) were spotted having lunch with two other guys. We did not see them leave as they exited out the back door. Imagine that...the Backstreet Boys going back door?

· Tuesday, 3/13.

So I waited on Justin Guarini tonight, along with two of his friends. He's fairly tall, reasonably polite, but needs a haircut. But on to the important stuff:
Their bill was $167. My tip? $10. Stellar. Really classy. To be quasi-fair, they paid $140 cash and Justin put the rest on his card...and he was the one that left a tip. So one could make the argument that he tipped me well, but his friends are fuckers. However, Justin, you're still culpable because you have shitty, ill-bred friends who stiffed me.

· I don't even know if this counts but it's definintely a random sighting.

On the 304 bus this morning heading toward Santa Monica, I'm almost positive former mtv vj Jesse Camp was passed out a few seats ahead of me. Homeboy is still going for the homeless glam rocker look. Eventually woke up and began text messaging before getting off somewhere in Santa Monica. Maybe a meeting at mtv??? Bizarre.

In today's star-studded, Oscar Week episode: Leonardo DiCaprio; Mel Gibson, Diane Sawyer, Mike Nichols; The Rock; Jennifer Hudson; Peter O'Toole; Hilary Swank; Orlando Bloom and Adrian Grenier; Cuba Gooding, Jr., Michael Arndt, Shannyn Sossamon, John Waters, Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, Adam Carolla and Carson Daly; Will Arnett, Joey McIntyre and Dax Shepard; Lauren Graham, Robin Tunney and Marley Shelton; Scott Speedman and Bradley Cooper; Scott Foley and Marika Dominczyk; Jeff Zucker; Tim Allen; Matt Stone; Dane Cook; Paris Hilton; Tawny Cypress; Magic Johnson; Rory Cochrane; Jai Rodriguez, Lakisha Jones, Gina Glocksen and Leslie Hunt; Serena Williams and Camryn Manheim.

· So I was at dinner tonight (2/26) at Table 8 on Melrose with a very handsome companion when my attention was drawn away from him to a most Delicious specimen. Yes, it was Leo DiCaprio with a group of 6 or so. I know he is dating a model (natch) but the women he was dining with looked liked they were normal (!) wearing casual clothes and little to no makeup. (Undercover?)They were still beautiful but it seemed weird. Oh wait. Maybe Leo has some real friends! They seemed like a nice and normal group of people out for a good, if expensive, meal.

· this morning 2.24 at 10:50am going east on sunset blvd at holloway stopped at the light saw Leo DiCaprio's head bobbing up and down in the back seat of a "green" limo honda civic. His head filled the entire window..........i know it's oscar weekend and all, but it was Leo the nominated!

· So everyone probably saw everyone somewhere on Oscar weekend, but we had a good double header on 2/23:

#1 - The Rock having what looked like a business dinner at Dan Tana's.

#2 - Mel Gibson at the Belvedere in the Peninsula, acting extremely chummy with Diane Sawyer and Mike Nichols. There are so many things wrong with this I don't know where to start, but I think the big questions are about Diane's journalistic integrity and whether or not Mel calls her "Sugar Tits."

· Jennifer Hudson was on my mom's plane yesterday (2/26) from LAX to Kennedy. My mom told her "you were so great," and Jennifer was super sincerely nice and appreciative, like a sweet un-jaded teenager. (JH was in first class, mom was stuck in coach.) I first thought "oh brother" when I heard this story, but then the flight attendant told her she was the only one to approach the winning ingenue on the whole flight! Weird that peeps are that Too Cool for School to an Oscar winner the day after. Not that she needs more adulation, but b/c of her going virtually unnoticed it's OK mom said something. JH apparently let all the flight attendants hold her Oscar but not in a show off-y way, which is sorta sweet, no?

· 2/24 I live right behind the Four Seasons hotel and we walked over to night to see who might be around. No one in the bar, just random nobodies (or no one I recognize). So we go into the lounge with the fireplace and it's totally dead. Then Peter O'Toole and his retinue walks in and sits down. We hung around for a while and he held court there then we eventually left. But it was great! Sadly, he looks like death warmed over, but still very classy and British. He was with a woman wearing a tee shirt that said on the back: I'm with a living legend.

· 4pm, Oscar night at Whole Foods on Wilshire in S.M. Was less than thrilled to be there as I'm more of a Ralph's guy, but what baby wants, baby gets. We're in the checkout line and I notice a stellar set of teeth on the cute, yet slightly disheveled girl in front of us. Hilary Swank! Food shopping on Oscar night! Hell of a difference a year makes...

· Adrian Grenier's band performing at The Echo on Saturday...Adrian loves his Pale Ale. And Orlando Bloom came to show his support. Both stayed through the second band and were pretty chill about hanging out with the all ages crowd...but soon headed off to Adrian's house for an after party.

· I went to the after-party at Shutters. Got there a little later. While in line, I saw Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, Adam Carolla, his girlfriend, and Carson Daly leaving as a group. Noticed that Carson smokes and is indeed rather skinny.

Inside, I saw Cuba Gooding, Jr., Michael Arndt, Shannyn Sossamon, and John Waters.

· Today (2/26), I was walking down Larchmont and I saw a cute little dog and as I stopped to coo at it I noticed the owner was none other than Christian rocker (and former NKOTB member) Joey McIntyre. He was chatting with two smokers sitting at a café about some movie he did in Boston. Turns out the two men were Will Arnett (cue "The Final Countdown"), who reassured McIntyre of his performance in the film, and Arnett's Let's Got to Prison costar Dax Shepard. They were all in good spirits and very nice indeed.

· Had an eclectic sighting at grace restaurant on saturday night. Marley Shelton, Lauren Graham, possibly Robin Tunney, and one of the blond girls from Friday Night Lights were all having dinner together, as part of a large party in the back room. Sadly, my back was to that table so I couldn't stare and my dining companions don't watch enough TV to identify anyone else in the party. I need to get new friends.

· A star-studded day at the Casbah Cafe! 2-27, Scott Speedman strolls into the Silver Lake mainstay around 10:30 am, looking legitimately rolled-out-of-bed, as opposed to "spent 45 minutes perfecting the rolled-out-of-bed look." He had a knapsack on him, ordered some juice, left, came back in, examined an empty LA Weekly rack, left, came back in for a moment, then left again. Scintillating! Then, a couple hours later, Bradley Baumkirchner of Project Runway fame strolled in, in all his scraggily glory. Disheveled blond dude central over here! (Speedman was infinitely more doable...but can he put me in a weird looking bubble dress? I think not.)

Saturday 2/24 at around Noonish. Saw Scott Foley and fiancee (the girl who plays Tyler on Brothers & Sisters) [Marika Dominczyk] walking on Montana past Blue Plate. They didn't eat there (at least when I was there), but apparently know the hostess, as she chatted with them for a while. My friend and I couldn't get over how SMOKIN he is in person.

· 2/24 - Jeff Zucker, looking totally non-honcho holding hands with his little boy with the rest of the family in tow, strolling down Beverly on Saturday morning.

· After a somewhat satisfying, low-carb breakfast of lox, eggs and onions at Canters, my b.f. and I sauntered to the counter to pay the check. We then spied a ball-capped, shades-wearing Tim Allen, also waiting to settle up, with his young daughter. At least, I hope it was his daughter—she came up to about his waist and had barely hit puberty, but who knows. The point is, he looked extremely puffy and, get this—the bedraggled cashier dared to inspect TIM ALLEN'S twenty dollar bill in the light to make sure it wasn't counterfeit—maybe he knows Wild Hogs will bomb and assumes his cash is questionable. After a quick eye-roll, Tim shared a weak laugh with his daughter/girlfriend. My b.f. and I also chuckled—but more at Tim's scarily taut jaw-line, complete with an old-fashioned scar in FRONT of the ear, and the classic PERMANENTLY SURPRISED! look on his brow-lifted face. One would think at 1.25 million a pop for each episode of Home Improvement, he might have found a better surgeon. I'm sort of surprised that during their on-set bonding, Travolta didn't recommend his favorite Scientology-vitamin-silent-exercise routine to normalize the face of our favorite grunting, sitcom dad.

· Matt Stone from "South Park" and 1/2 of the J-Lo/Gwyneth combo at the Oscars a few years back, hanging with friends Fri night (2/23) at the Joker,
probably the sketchiest old-man dive bar on the dumpy part of Pico in SM. He
chatted and sipped his tequila shot (salt) for awhile, then took off with
his bald friend. We thought that'd be it, but they returned about 15 minutes
later....with McDonalds! The guy walked across the street and got McDonalds
to bring back for his friends.

· Dane Cook at the Coldstone Creamery at the Beverly Connection, last monday, President's Day, around 8pm. Picking up pints for himself and his live in love Raquel. He had to call her to find out what she wanted but she didn't answer. I didn't notice what he was ordering because he looked like any other shlub when I got in line next to him. It wasn't until I had listened to him speaking for a minute or two that I realized who he was. The Coldstone ice cream guys were clearly as indifferent as I was. He was very low profile which was refreshing given his over hyped onstage persona.

· * Evening of Wed., Feb. 21, at the Fatburger on Santa Monica in WeHo, Tawny Cypress (newly dead Simone on Heroes) ordered a bacon cheeseburger in the company of her significant other and their really cute 8-year-old. Totally unpretentious in a long sweatshirt, skirt and Converse shoes, and just lovely. Seems like a very nice family.

* This afternoon, Fri., Feb. 23, if my eyes did not deceive me, the succubus herself, Paris Hilton louching (slouch + lounge) in the passenger seat of a gray Land Rover at the corner of Third and Fairfax (Farmers Market).

· I know, a privacywatch sighting on Oscar night - like fish in a barrel. BUT -this was a non-entertainment celebrity, arguably. Anyway, Magic Johnson, at Mastro's in Beverly Hills. He was actually there during the show - he was coming out just as I was going in. That's a large dude. He was very nice, made sure to personally thank and shake the hands of everyone in sight, the maitre d', the reservations woman, the bartender, etc. Classy. On an unrelated side note, I really, really want to smack that reservations woman.

· Rory Cochrane and pretty blond girlfriend stuck with the rest of us mortals in the valet parking line/crowd/mob outside Social Hollywood/Boulevard 3 on Saturday night (2/25).

· Barely a celebrity sighting... Just saw Jai Rodriguez (of Queer Eye fame) at the Beverly Center. And as I turned the corner whispering to my friend, "is that the broadway dude from Queer Eye?" I saw three of the new American Idol kids shopping. I don't know any of their names, but I specifically remember the crazy blonde girl who could be the spawn of Amy Poehler and Rachel Dratch [ed. note: Leslie Hunt, we think], the girl with the red streaks in her hair (come on! red streaks??!) [Gina Glocksen], and the really good singer who has a baby [Lakisha Jones].

I really couldn't get any more D-List than that....

· Very random sighting in Westwood Village at about 9:15 this morning (2-24):

I was going into the Jamba Juice in Westwood Village for my daily wheat grass fix, when who should walk out directly in my path but Serena Williams. She was dressed in workout gear (a zip up pullover and spandex pants,—if I think hard enough I could probably remember the color) with no makeup on, Jamba in hand and looked very toned down (as opposed to her normal outerwear). She was smaller than I expected and felt only an inch or two taller than me (and I'm 5'8"). Isn't she supposed to be taller? Anywho, it was a random way to kick start my day. I will say this though: homegirl has thighs of steel.

· decided it was time to sign up for a Costco membership. went to the Culver City location today (2/24) to sign up. as i waited in line to get my card, i saw Camryn Manheim on her way out. she was with a good-lookin' hunky guy. he was pushing one of those Home Depot style flat carts with a very large box loaded on top. she was very chatty. seemed to be in a really good mood. tried to figure out what was in the box. an extra large Made In China flat screen t.v.? a kid's swingset? patio furniture? doesn't she have a bunch of adopted kids with her 'partner'? or am i thinking of Rosie O'Donnell?

In today's episode: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban; Jake Gyllenhaal and Courtney Love; Jodie Foster and Sam Nazarian; Orlando Bloom; Eric Dane; Chad Lowe; Adrian Grenier; Dylan Walsh; Marlee Matlin; Doris Roberts; Curtis Hanson; Ernest Borgnine; Chad Allen; Larry King and Danny Strong; Henry Winkler; Rodrigo Santoro; Christopher Titus; Paul Reubens; Janel Moloney; Lacey Chabert; Bob Saget; Sara Gilbert and Peri Gilpin; Bai Ling and Scott Clifton.

· 2/20 - nicole kidman and keith urban at silverchair's second night at the el rey. they gave up their awaiting booth to sit with the common folk at a table on the balcony. seemed very much in love. when they walked up to the theater, the security guard asked them if they wanted drinking wristbands and keith informed him that he does not drink. i thought that was funny.

· The paparazzi lining the windows outside the Gagosian, BH for the opening of Damien Hirst's Superstition should've been a tipoff on the insanity inside, but at least a few of us were there to see the art. Courtney Love (brown crepe dress, well made up for her appearance) did an obligatory pose for the 'razzi in front of one of the main floor pieces, and then shortly afterwards I saw Jake Gyllenhaal duck in to see the works in the side room. He had week old stubble scruff and wild hair going but a great black shirt/suit ensemble, and he seemed to run into several other friends there. There were probably buckets of other celebs I didn't recognize.

· Today, Equinox West Hollywood at about noon. The darkness and the light cross paths: Sam Nazarian (SBE CEO) dressed like a 24 year-old mall rapper crossed in front of a casual and low key Jodie Foster working the Eliptical trainer. No eye contact between the two was made as their worlds could not be more different.

Feb. 18, 200 I had to go return some clothes at Barney's (New York) on Wilshire and as the lame cashier is trying to remember his password to process the return I glance to my left and I see Orlando Bloom shopping for some jeans.

· He looked normal and unassuming, blue heathered shirt, jeans and the requisite macho boots. I later saw him again in the shoe section, he was with his friend and the sales associate was trying to sell him more boots.

Today 2/20 was at lunch meeting on the patio at Café Med and who should drive right by us by McSteamy himself (Eric Dane) in a greenish SUV by himself. My friend was laughing because it was the 4th time he has seen McSteamy in like a week.

· this week i spotted chad lowe with his new girlfriend at a concert in los angeles. his new girfriend isn't very attractive at all! she wears the geeky/hip glasses, can't dress very well (droopy black granny sweater), and looks only mildly feminine... but for her disproportionately large breasts on her petite frame... probably fake!

he seemed pretty attentive to her since she was obviously a fan of the band and chad was just there as her arm candy for the evening. he went pretty much unnoticed by everyone in the crowd... especially since the audience is a little younger than him and probably didn't know who the heck he was.

· Spotted extremely hairy (and bearded) Adrian Grenier walking on Sunset in Silver Lake on Monday (2/19) with another hairy and bearded male friend; looked like they might have been leaving Millie's. Enormous head, tiny body, pretty eyes.

· On Thursday, 2/15, at "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" at the Ahmanson, sat two seats away from one of the doctors from "Nip Tuck". I don't have cable, but my friend alerted me to him. It was Dylan Walsh, looking nice in a gray suit, with female companion (wife).

· Lisa Marie Presley and her husband - Michael Lockwood slumming it at a Woodland Hills neighborhood Mexican joint, Casa De Carlos, last Wednesday night. Lisa was dressed down in sweats with little makeup, and needed to lose a few pounds, per my wife.

In fairness, they were eating light, including Perrier's.

· I had to stop today at Lowe's for a doorknob (don't ask) when I had to satisfy my caffeine fix and stop in at Starbucks. As I walked in I nearly lost it seeing Marlee Matlin with her two TV interpreters. Let me explain. I'm a big L Word fan and there she was with the guy who plays her interpreter on the L Word and they guy she appears on TV with when she's herself (I also think he was on Larry Sanders with her). They looked like they were having the best time! I wanted to go over and show off my limited sign but I didn't want them to think I was a L Word groupie (I am!). Marlee is beautiful and petite in person, looking very young and her L Word interpreter looks like Jude Law. The other guy looks like Gilbert Gottfried. It was a weird mind f**k. Reality and art right there in front of me.

· Doris Roberts at Campanile over the weekend. I've spotted her a few times now — either she's fairly hip and gets around for her age, or I'm getting old.

· director curtis hanson at campanile monday night around 8 pm.. his beard looks itchy

· Saw Ernest Borgnine at Amoeba selling some used CD's. He was pleasant and polite. Didn't look a day over 80.

· I saw TV's Chad Allen in line to buy a sandwich at the WeHo Whole Foods on Sunday.

This is a couple weeks old, but I also saw Larry King waiting for his car at the Grove and Danny Strong—Doyle (Gilmore Girls)/Jonathan (Buffy).

· A rare east-of-Alvarado celebrity sighting: I was having a mind-blowing pastrami experience at Langer's Deli on Monday afternoon when I realized that I had been sitting in the booth next to Henry Winkler and his family during my entire meal. As I walked up to pay my bill next to the Fonz, I wanted to say something Arrested Development-related, but stopped myself. After all, a man does not drive all the way to 7th and Alvarado, park his car in a secured parking lot two blocks away and hoof it to an old-school deli in a paparazzi-proof neighborhood in order to get hounded by well-wishing, cancelled-sitcom-worshipping fans. But I definitely have to give the Fonz credit for initiating a family outing to the grimiest of Eastside neighborhoods in search of the best pastrami sandwich imaginable (order the #19)(and no, I'm not a PR shill for Langer's; I don't even think anyone who works there has even heard of the internet).

· was having an early dinner (around 5:30-6pm)with some friends at the counter in santa monica on 2/19 and noticed that the fella sitting behind my friend looked an awful lot like the gorgeous brazilian guy that laura linney almost got it on with in love actually. (Rodrigo Santoro) u just don't say no to opportunities like that. unfortunately, he was wearing more than black undies at this time. same wavy dark locks and amazing tan. didn't think anything of it however until as we were leaving my friend who'd been sitting by him said "ok the guy behind us was definitely famous" b/c apparently our waitress had interrupted his dinner w/friends to tell him that she loved his show Lost. he must have already finished filming his episodes and is probably in town for press for 300.

it would make sense for the starbucks right by lax (off of sepulveda blvd) to be a quick stop for big names going to/leaving the nearby lax. but being a coffee-addicted college student, i never really notice these things. my friends and i had decided to make a caffeine run sometime in jan around 10pm. i was waiting for my caramel frapp when i noticed a familiar face hiding way in the back of the place. it was none other than christopher titus of fox's titus. still had that horribly shaped blonde spiky hair, and definitely looked a little aged. you'd think his hair would have taken on a more mature look by now, but no such luck. could not remember his name for the life of me at the time, only as "that comedian who had a show on fox forever ago whose dad was played by the warden on prison break". specific i know. he looked pretty excited that anyone had taken notice to him period. seemed to be holding a script and later realized the chauffeur parked next to us was probably waiting for him.

· I just read the tip from the person who was at the Burbank Hollywood Collectors' convention on Friday, February 16. He/she said Paul Reubens, aka Pee-wee Herman, had no takers for his autograph. I was at the convention the next day, and Pee-wee had a line out the door. No, I'm not his agent—I just love him.

· Janel Moloney of "West Wing" fame coming out of the Anthropologie in the Grove on 2/18. Later that night, her Amber Frey TV movie was on - as if Scott Peterson had planned it all.

· I too spotted Lacey Chabert at La Poubelle on Saturday the 17th. She looked terrific, albeit all of 12 years-old.

Monday night (2/19) at the Brentwood, I spotted Mr. Danny Tanner himself (Bob Saget) having a drink with another dude. Couldn't figure out if it was business or pleasure. they did shut down the place (which closed at midnight, so its really not that impressive).

· The Malibu Country Mart playground better watch out! There's apparently another celebrity baby hotspot in town. Today (2-22) at the West Hollywood Park in the kiddie playground area, I spotted a seemingly pregnant Sara Gilbert with her partner, Allison Adler and their son. Also present was ex-Frasier actress Peri Gilpin playing with what appeared to be her young daughter. Funny part was when I googled her later on, I discover that she actually has twins - so either she only took one of them to the park or else she was switching off between the twins when I wasn't looking. Yeah, I'm sure that was it.

· 2/22 OK It seems that a house in my neighborhood in Beverly Hills has been rented as a swag depot. this is the second time now- once around the Golden globes ( I saw Janice Dickinson around the golden globes but didn't think she qualified as a celebrity sighting) - and now today that I have seen masses of frighteningly skinny, mostly blonde, and botoxed young women carrying bags of loot that weigh more than they do. It's creating a horrendous traffic jam and today one of them literally ran out in front of my car as I was driving up the hill. I was within a few feet of smashing into her. If she had dented my Maserati I'd have backed over her as well. When I recovered I looked to the left and there was Bai Ling standing half in the road and posing with her legs spread apart and her arms above her head wearing a hideous pair of jeans or black pants that looked like someone took a paint roller and rolled white paint up and down her thighs. Then i looked to the right and saw a girl walking up the hill with her entire ass hanging out of the bottom of her skirt- sans underwear. I didn't recognize her though. I will be so glad when the Oscar's are over- I f*cking hate Beverly Hills this time of year.

· on 2-19-07 I saw General Hospitals Scott Clifton out and about at the Archlight theater. He was with pretty petite brunette. From what I saw they went in then out once or twice from the lobby and shared a few kisses

In today's episode: Bryan Singer; Jake Gyllenhaal; Clint Eastwood; Orlando Bloom; Oliver Stone; Lindsay Lohan and Monica Keena; Drew Barrymore; Rosario Dawson; Sandra Bullock and Jesse James; Patrick Dempsey; Kanye West; Thom Yorke; Bill Maher; Danny Masterson, Santino Rice; DJ AM and Nicole Richie; Tori Spelling; Ian Somerhalder; Anderson Cooper; Bryce Dallas Howard; Vincent Gallo; BJ Novak; Diedrich Bader; Jesse Spencer; Zelda Rubinstein; Marcellas Reynolds and Mr. And Miss Jay.

· Thursday, October 26 at about 11am
-Bryan Singer with a cadre of barely legal looking, skinny, baggy pants and t-shirted boys at Hugos in West Hollywood. I swear to God, there were a couple of them who didn't look a DAY over 15. It didn't make sense; as far as I know it IS a school day.

-Just as Singer was arriving with the boy caravan, Jake Gyllenhaal was just finishing up breakfast at Hugos. Not sure if they greeted each other.

· Tuesday, October 24th at Orso. Clint Eastwood in the back corner of the patio dining with a producer type. Very low key. Very classy. When a couple came up to him after he had finished his meal, he was very gracious, took time to talk to them and even gave them an autograph. Even my typically unimpressed boyfriend was slightly ga-ga over this sighting.

· Thursday night late @ Little Door on 3rd in Hollywood. Love this restaurant it's cute. So it must have been date night. Jake Gyllenhaal was seated next to a short sexy brunette @ a big table of friends. The two of them talked all night and were the last to leave. Marcellas Reynolds came in and joined a big table and made out all through dinner with an older German guy. My wife and I could tell he was German because all night long they spoke German and French @ the table while laughing and taking tons of pics.

· As I was leaving the Decemberists show at The Wiltern (10/21), I passed by a crowd of guys mostly in black, I kind of recognized one of them so I kept staring hoping one of them would look familiar. And lo and be hold I recognized the short greasy one: Orlando Bloom. He was wearing a fedora and chatting with some brunette, he looked pretty much the same as he does when he's 14 feet tall(minus the height).

· Just saw Oliver Stone on my elevator in non-descript building in Santa Monica. Looked typically rumpled in a "mad professor" kind of way—sport coat and glasses perched on his head. Couldn't tell if he was working on any conspiracy theories about the floors the elevator stopped on...

· Minding my own beeswax on Saturday afternoon, trying to work off the work out with a pomegranate margatini, I noticed Lindsay Lohan (dark hair, back from fashion week, apparently) and Monica Keena sitting on the patio at Basix. At the same table (not at the same table as me).

· saw drew barrymore at fred 62 in los feliz on sunday, rosario dawson sitting outside of the restaurant on monday.

· Watching the Ducks embarrass the Kings yesterday afternoon at Staples (10/22) we got to see Sandra Bullock and Jesse James smooching on the jumbotron during the famous "Kiss Cam" moment. Their on-screen kiss was tame, but once the cameras were off Bullock was in Jesse's lap for more romance.

· While on my daily commute from Santa Monica to Studio City, at about 8:45 am on Oct. 26, I merged from the 405 onto the 101 next to Dr. McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey) driving alone in his McDreamy silver sports car. He looked well put together in baseball cap, white button-down shirt and dark sweater vest. My wife and I (we were carpooling) followed him all the way down the 101, jockeying for a better view, which we got repeatedly (the wife has a giant crush on McDreamy; mine is only slightly less giant). He was talking and laughing on a cell phone most of the way. I don't know if he was headed into work or not, but he seemed blissfully unconcerned about any impending rendezvous with McChokey.

· Walking around The Grove today (10/22) I expected to see some celebrity sightings. I didn't go there for that reason, I just wanted to waste a Sunday afternoon and check out all the beautiful women that the warm weather would surely bring out. I was not disappointed on both accounts. Not long after I got there I spotted Kanye West on his way out. I'm 6' tall and of course expected him to be a bit taller but he was just an inch or two shorter than me. He walked past me with a friend of his and after he passed I did a 180 and sort of followed him, just to make sure it was him. When I caught up to him he was taking cell phone pics with some kids that recognized him. Seeing that he's from the South Side of Chicago and I had my White Sox baseball jersey on I thought he might give me some mad caucasian props but I was sorely mistaken. I didn't feel like approaching him like any other fan so I just looked at him, he looked at me and continued on. He got his Mercedes (McLaren SLR) from the Valet and zoomed off. Maybe next time I'll say something to him, and maybe next year my White Sox will make the playoffs.

· I don't know if this counts because I'm not sure that the celebrity in question is lame enough to be included in this. But, my husband and I had lunch at this hole-in-the-wall trattoria in Florence on 10/21. After about twenty minutes, I look up and realize that Thom Yorke from Radiohead is at the next table. He was with a British woman and a small girl. I assume that it was his partner and daughter because the little girl looked just like him. He seemed to be a pretty friendly, down-to-earth guy. We felt really bad because we had been eyeing their food trying to figure out what they had ordered before we even realized he was at the table! (Well, it looked good and it IS Italy, after all!) He must have thought we were staring at him the whole time. No one else in the place seemed to have any idea who he was, except for a few of the younger waiters, who shook his hand on the way out. . . .And for those of you who are wondering, he is just as googley-eyed in person.

· went to see 'The Departed' last Saturday night in Culver City. we were told that it was a sold out show, and there weren't many seats left. as we walked into the theater, i saw Bill Maher walking out. guess he didn't want to sit in the front seats. he had a beautiful African-American lady with him. not sure if it was a date, or a 'date'. was kind of surprised to see him in Culver City. maybe that's where his 'lady friend' lives? and even though i know he's on the short side, still surprised by his shortness.

· Danny Masterson, Santino Rice, and DJ AM and Nicole Richie on opposite sides of the room at Mickey Avalon's free show at Dragonfly Monday night, around 12:30am

I saw Tori Spelling coming out of A Pea In The Pod one block off of Rodeo Drive, with her husband looking one step away from K-Fed style greasiness. She also looked totally pregnant, and was totally showing it off in a cute maternity top. (10/19)

· Ian Somerhalder at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market last Sunday. He is sporting Boone's newer, longer hair 'do and he has extremely skinny legs. He was walking around with a regular-looking female and seemed to go unnoticed.

· Even though this sighting was in LA it's kind of more Gawker/Wonkette but I'll go for it — this morning at breakfast at the Peninsula hotel (how fancy am I?) saw ambiguously handsome Anderson Cooper. He had on a green t-shirt, jeans and boots and his shockingly gray hair was perfect. He's really cute, not that tall and was asking the front desk for something. I told the Belvedere hostess that we wanted to sit with him and she just gave me a blank stare. No sense of humor there but since their entire staff is on the National Enquirer payroll she was probably mad that I recognized him and was going to give the scoop to defamer first.

· A very pregnant Bryce Dallas Howard. at last Friday's 8:30 showing of "Flags of Our Fathers" at the Arclight.

· While waiting for a table at Hirozen on Monday night I saw Tyne Daly (but not Sharon Gless, sadly) with a table of much younger and more attractive people. Apparently I was the only one in the restaurant whose interest was remotely piqued by the thought of Det. Mary Beth Lacey (I admit I had to look that up on IMDB) chowing down on raw fish.

· Vincent Gallo ordering a Pink Berry frozen yogurt in West Hollywood/Huntly Drive - Saturday, Oct 21st. In jeans and a tank top t-shirt. Had scruffy hair and beard. Don't get why he can't seem to find the time to do a little grooming. About 5ft 10in. with pasty thin arms. The guy could use a little color.He's definitely got the "New York" guy type of body and not a California or certainly not a West Hollywood build. Don't really want to pick on him. He seemed a little alone and believe it or not...a bit lonely looking. I know that it's not a description that's normally applied to him. He was very low key. Okay..okay...I know the guy is off his rocker but for about two minutes I have to say he did appear vulnerable. Alright for fuck sake..once the drugs wear off I'm sure my perception will clear up.

· Tuesday, 10/17 at Taiyo (the little sushi restaurant on that section of Franklin Ave west of Bronson), BJ Novak (writer and co-star of the fabulous show The Office) dining with friends. He looked up at me as I walked by with the same deer-in-the-headlights expression that his character Ryan so often wears.

· Saturday, 10/21 at Whole Foods at 3rd and Fairfax, Diedrich Bader (I know he did something post-Drew Carey, but I can't think of it just now) with his son in the freezer section. The boy, blonde and adorable, was searching through the ice cream section for his mom's favorite flavor.

· Jesse Spencer at the CD/album release part for the "Evil Bong" soundtrack at Boardners last night. The cover gave me nightmares all night.

· Saw Zelda Rubenstein, on a booster seat, in my favorite Hollywood lunch spot, The Good Neighbor on Cahuenga West, on Wednesday the 25th. I've gotten twenty five years older, but she looks exactly the same.

· Due to its proximity to The Vivid Production Centre, I'm sure there are oodles of porn queens there all the time, but didn't seem to be any that day, not that I would know...

· Shopping @ the Beverly Center on Friday afternoon and who walks by but Marcellas Reynoldss and the 2 Jay's from America's Next Top Model. Marcellas was laughing with Miss Jay but Mr. Jay didn't seem to friendly.

In this week's jam-packed episode: Orlando Bloom, Lindsay Lohan, Parker Posey and Rachel Zoe; Adam Levine, Mary-Kate Olsen, Amanda Bynes, Stuart Townsend, Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson; Ben Stiller; Hilary Swank; Jake Gyllenhaal; Keanu Reeves; James Marston; Kate Beckinsale; Michael Moore; Jon Heder; Scott Speedman and James Spader; Haley Joel Osment; Slash and Rainn Wilson; Jason Biggs, Fiona Apple and Samaire Armstrong; Christina Ricci; Allison Janney; Matt Dillon; Kyra Sedgwick and Jenna Elfman; Steven Soderbergh; Steve Martin; Jennie McCarthy; Chloe Sevigny; Adrian Grenier; Virginia Madsen; Dylan Walsh; Jason Lee; William L. Petersen; Mia Hamm and James Denton; Selma Blair; Stanley Tucci; Bridget Moynahan; Elizabeth Shue; Erik Estrada; Rick Rubin; Billy Dee Williams; Sinbad; Danny Bonaduce and Paul Moyer.

· Last nite, Tues. 6/27, hit the jackpot at Chateau Marmont. Parker Posey, fresh with long hair extensions and crazy yappy dog, hanging with some strange creative types, talking about a screenplay. First sitting at a table, then several moved onto the lawn to a blanket sitting indian-style, probably because the dog terrorizing diners.

Later, but still early, Marmont resident Lindsay Lohan shows up in long cutoff shorts and wifebeater tee, lots of eye makeup, fake lashes. With 2 unknown people, one of whom seemed older, attempting to keep her in line. She sitting at a table blackberrying and smoking. Kept jumping up and running to another table of many, yapping it up with someone who I thought was Rachel Zoe, stylist to the skinny starving stars (who is also smoking). Then, some dude showed up to Lohan's table, she talked with him for a while, then they left together, Lohan drinking straight out of her martini shaker, which I initially thought was a commuter coffee mug.

Then, Orlando Bloom showed up. He's possibly skinnier than Lohan. He's also smoking, fluttering from table to table.

· My company had a conference this week at the Ritz-Carlton in Marina Del Rey. Not an ideal celeb spotting location, but not five minutes after I got off the plane on Sunday afternoon 6/25, I saw Adam Levine from Maroon 5 in the baggage claim area at LAX. He was with a group of people, but he didn't have any bags, so I couldn't tell if he was meeting someone or he was just getting back from somewhere. He looks smug and gross on TV, but he was surprisingly cute in real life. Fantastic hair, pretty blue eyes, nice smile.

Monday 6/26, I fought through my jet lag and went for drinks with a starstruck guy from North Carolina at the Chateau Marmont (he reads US Weekly like it's his job.) We might have been dressed cute, but I'm from the suburbs, and there's just something about me that says "give me the table by the bathroom." How could I forget that the bathroom is THE place to spot people? In the course of the evening we saw Mary-Kate Olsen, dressed like a very rich hobo in skinny tapered jeans, ratty extenstions, two pounds of eye makeup, a pashmina (people still wear those?) and a white straw panama hat. She smiled shyly at me. It was...disarming. Later, I went to the ladies' and had the bathroom to myself. When I went to wash my hands, someone came in behind me and slammed the door loudly and I jumped. Amanda Bynes popped her head up over the stall door and said, "Oh! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! I didn't know it would be so loud!" She has absolutely gorgeous skin and the most beautiful green eyes, and she looks a lot healthier than she used to (not fat by any means, just not like a bobblehead anymore). My friend spent 15 minutes talking with her about her highlights, and Amanda gave her the name of her colorist. Amanda left at about 1 am with her arm around a cute boy with puffy curly hair. Later, I saw Stuart Townsend at the back of a group of people chatting with an attractive blonde woman who was not Charlize. Finally at about 12:30, Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson came in with a small group of people and sat and chatted in the corner of the lounge. Kate looked very pretty in a sacky purple linen top and casually pulled back hair and told some cute stories about "[her] dad" and her brother's wedding. Owen was strangely non-animated (ironic, considering he was wearing a "Cars" baseball cap). My friend bristled at the fact that Kate could sit on the window ledge and smoke but she couldn't.

· Wednesday 6/21, 7:30pm, Ben Stiller in a nice suit swept into La Cienega's Matsuhisa w/lady friend and sat with a group of six or eight seemingly industry-types. Little Ben was welcomed warmly by his dinnermates and left alone, of course, Matsuhisa patrons being accustomed as they are to a steady flow of celebrity.

· Wednesday (6/21) I was on a "third date" at Little Door on Wednesday night and we were seated near Hilary Swank. She looked simple and elegant, and had a corner table outside with a male companion. Proof positive that she enjoys a nice meal and doesn't live exclusively on In-n-Out.

· Jake Gyllenhaal spotted strolling down Bedford in Beverly Hills. Jakey Poo was wearing his basketball-ready grey shirt, khaki shorts, and (according to my equally fabulous companion) dock shoes with no socks. Looked great in his full beard (only one beard, no Natalie to be found) and jaywalked over toward Crustacean, whereupon my friend decided we shouldn't stalk him and instead broke the cup he was holding from the sheer excitement of the Gyllenhaal. Hopefully Jakey will think my instant giggling upon recognizing him was from how super hot he is and not, in fact, that my gossip dreams had been instantly fulfilled by a Toothy sighting.

· Keanu Reeves driving east on Franklin near Highland Saturday around 7:30 in a black Porsche.

· Saw Keanu Reeves at the 6/27 Eddie Izzard show in WeHo.

He was wearing some seriously ugly shoes and appeared to have come alone

· Just got back from the 7:15 Superman Returns at Grauman's Chinese Theatre. James Marsden was seated in front of me with a male friend of his. No one seemed to notice him other than me and my friend. (Is that cause he isn't really famous?!) He was wearing a Red Sox hat and his hair is long, but looked pretty normal and fit in. Also was wearing jeans, old plaid button down shirt, and distressed black leather boots. He was also in front of me in the Box Office line, and I was complaining to him (and I had no idea who he was at the tme) about waiting in such a long line after purchasing tickets online (what's the point to buying online then?) and he was pleasant and agreed with my unhappiness.

No Bryan Singer sighting unfortunately. I know it doesn't compare to his viewing at Grauman's the other night, inclusive of light sabers and all that, but the crowd was very receptive and applauded, cheered, etc.

· Just saw Kate Beckinsale and a friend having lunch at the Malibu Kitchen, around 2:00 on 6/28. She was dressed casually and looked great, very slender like she looks in "Click", not bony as some people have reported lately. Her voice is amazing. She was with a skinny bearded guy that behaved like her boyfriend. She ate a mango she brought along in a bag, he had salad and a sandwich. Lots of people noticed her, but she didn't let on.

· Sunday, walking around Silver Lake in 95+ degree heat, stopped in at the trendiest ice cream parlor in all L.A., Pazzo Gelato. While in line, looked to my left and saw a large man in a baseball cap and a petite Asian friend. The large man, it quickly registered, was Michael Moore, and the liberal inside me swooned. Interestingly enough, despite the oppressive heat, Michael Moore was not profusely sweating (as I'd hoped, just for the imagery and storytelling of it all). They got their ice cream and sat outside, and it looked like a few people came up to them to say hi and/or gush, which is what I'd have been doing if I wasn't in danger of collapsing from heat stroke.

· So we were at Universal Studios seeing Superman at the IMAX and Jon Heder "Naploleon Dynamite" was behind us in line. We are talkiing how great it is he is not pulling a Matthew Perry when his very sexy friend in a white tshirt (call me!) pulls off, talks to a manager and after a few words his entire party is whisked into the theater. Half an hour later when we get our sweaty selves into the theater, there they are, dead center and happy.

· Saw Radiohead at the Greek last night. Those "Felicity" cast members must really dig them. Saw Keri Russell at the Hollywood Bowl show a couple years back, but this time saw Scott Speedman. Not sure who he was with. Saw him come in and then go into one of the beer lines and talked to some dude.

Before going in I think I saw James Spader. I mentioned that to my friend who saw and said that he looked too fat. I reminded him that Less Than Zero was almost 20 years ago. Spader has definitely gained weight since those glorious 80s, but he's certainly not Shatner-fat.

The piece de resistance was exiting the venue and walking next to a hesher-looking Haley Joel Osment. He's definitely earned cool points in my book. Don't see him in any of that Lohan/Richie mess and he has good taste in music. All in all a good show!

· Slash, wearing giant hoop earrings, outside the Radiohead show at the Greek, waiting for a car with a tall bald man. Some guy borrowed our pen to get his autograph, but Slash had a Sharpie on him.

Also, we walked down from the theatre behind Rainn Wilson (of Six Feet Under/The Office) and his wife.

· 6/29 Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson) himself groovin' like Thom Yorke at the Radiohead show. Who knew that such a nerd-o could be so funky?

· Saturday 6/24, saw Jason Biggs at the Fiona Apple show. Jeans, tee, baseball cap. Very normal looking. Saw him later that night smoking in a huddle that included Samaire Armstrong.

· Doesn't really count anymore b/c I've seen her a few times and I know she lives in the 'hood, but Christina Ricci at the Mayfair on Franklin Friday evening. Maybe she's still living solo in the Lloyd Wright house sans Adam Goldberg.

· so here are my weekend privacywatch sightings:
- fri at the hair salon: christina ricci and her little lapdog. She looked tiny and pretty and fresh-faced even before she had her hair colored. I wanted to ask her is she sold her lloyd wright home yet but that seemed to personal while she was under
the dryer.- sat in westwood village: Allison Janney (with husband and son?) maybe coming from the LA Film Festival? I don't know - we were too focused on the ice cream sandwiches we were eating at diddy riese. she's amazon tall and really thin.

· 6/26 Matt Dillon was seen checking into the Santa Monica hotel Shutters at 4pm today. He checked in alone.

· tues: 6/27 - sadly, on my first time up runyon canyon since moving to LA a few weeks ago, NO celebrity sightings to report. however, immediately after, at the franklin ave. hotspot (btw tamarind and bronson), two sightings: kyra sedgwick (presumably there for a kevin bacon movie being filmed??) and jenna elfman. the latter was supping in front of la pooh-bell with the bohdisattva elfman and was rockin' a huge blonde fro. word to your moms.

· Steven Soderbergh enjoying a giant margarita (along with his meal) with a male friend (who looked exactly like him) at Hamburger Hamlet on Hollywood Blvd. I was surprised to see him at that particular Hamburger Hamlet, which is much more low rent than the one over at Sunset and Doheny

· Was at Franklin Canyon reservoir and who should drive up but Steve Martin! He looked plain as can be in a white Lexus. I must have looked ridiculous openly staring at him but what can you do, it's STEVE MARTIN! He was ready to go mountain biking apparently. Looked good for his age. He smiled nicely at my irritating stare — and as I walked away I could hear people shouting "Steve Martin! We love you!" His small car was quite different from the usual big black shiny Merc. His head is really big.

· Saw Jenny McCarthy at the Whole Foods on Riverside. She had her sunglasses on, no makeup, with her tyke in the shopping cart. This was before the Jim Carrey tongue pics. She looked hot, even with no makeup and sweats. Not the greatest skin, however. Cute kid.

· Saw Chloe Sevigny at the Edendale last night. (6/27)

· I saw Adrian Grenier of "Entourage" with an unknown blonde girl at the Built to Spill show at the Troubador on Wednesday, June 28. Also, a couple of weeks ago I spotted Christina Ricci at Victor's on Bronson with what appeared to be her family. It was Father's Day, after all.

· Virginia Madsen, walking around at the after-party for The Devil Wears Prada in Westwood Village last night. Rather tiny on tall heels and really quite beautiful—far lovelier than the unlovely Alexander Payne made her look. Also, beforehand got a real-world glimpse of Vincent Chase himself, Adrien Grenier (every iota as good-looking as he is in Aqua-land) and Anne Hathaway (uhhhh...not so hot).

· Just saw Dylan Walsh in the parking garage of my gym (Equinox / Sunset Plaza). No sign of The Carver, thankfully...

· Spotted Jason Lee in full beard and taller than I expected, enjoying the David Hockney paintings at LA County Museum of Art on Sunday along with the crowds of people ogling portraits of Hockney's many boyfriends.

· peet's coffee in larchmont, none other than bug-loving crime scene shamus william l. petersen (grissom on CSI) accompanied by an attractive woman at least 2 decades his junior (and a lot less butch than jorja fox). don't recall what they ordered, but clean-shaven bill kept his sunglasses on the whole time. his walk was just as bowlegged as it appears on tv, but maybe he had some work done this hiatus (got the number of somebody good from marg helgenberger?), but his notorious neck fat looked noticably reduced. seemed annoyed to be anywhere in public, although i didn't see anyone approaching him...

· Live from the Holiday Inn in Williams, Arizona. Fucking bitchin' free wi-fi. Last Saturday night at the Dodgers-Pirates game, there is some "Hollywood All Stars" charity game that preceded the real game. Apparently, nowadays Mia Hamm is a Hollywood celebrity. Who knew? I am so behind on the gossip. Anyway, it's half a privacy watch because he was where he was supposed to be, but I had no idea he'd be there. James Denton, fresh out of the shower trucks after the Hollywood All-Stars game, signing autographs at the celebrity tent we passed on our way in to the real game. Mind you, Desperate Housewives is not something I watch, but I may now. Man is tan, built, tall, and has a gigolo strut. Posed with any obsessed teenage girl who asked, although you could tell he was bored. No way I could blow him though, because I'd be so far gone, I'd probably hurt my lower intestine. Fuck you Teri Hatcher - I hate you. Ciao. I miss SoCal. Bob.

· 06/22, Thursday — Hot on the heels of filing for divorce (no pun intended), Selma Blair, looking sullen, at Christian Loubitain on Burton Way.
06/22, Thursday — Stanley Tucci talking to a friend on Beverly Dr. by Club Monaco
06/23, Friday —Bridget Moynahan at Joan's on Third

· The one, the only, Elizabeth Shue - last Friday 6/23 @ 5pm on Main Street in Santa Monica. Beth, looking slightly preggo judging by her huge, swollen cans and well concealed abdomen, was walking with a small child and an older gent with the kind of flowing hair only an Italian soccer star could admire. I didn't want to stare, but even without makeup, she is still looks very much like the striking woman who has been the object of many personal fantasies. Needless to say, I beelined home and popped in Palmetto.

· Wednesday June 28 - I was walking into the Ralph's on Ventura Blvd. Just as I was strolled through the automatic doors I passed by Erik "I've got a new star on the walk of fame" Estrada. He was with what I assume were his wife and kids. And just as I passed by I overheard him say to her, "I'll knock the shit out of you." I assume it was a joke.

· Not sure if this counts, but it was too cool not to send in. I'm on a bike ride with the wife and friends, and we're on the home stretch on Main Street in Venice. Just as we're getting up to Rose, I spot six individuals wearing identical khaki trench coats. Not too unusual in Venice, until I see the guy bringing up the rear: jeans, white t-shirt, tall, balding with long hair and an even longer beard and Wayfarer shades. None other than record producer Rick Rubin. I wanted to shout how righteous Johnny Cash's albums were thanks to him, but I celebrated by drowning my breakfast in Cholula hot sauce. I went down in a burnin' ring of fire...

· Unless my Star Wars geekiness has failed me, I am pretty certain was dining a table away from Billy Dee Williams, a.k.a. LANDO CALRISSIAN at Pan e Vino last night (6/27). He was looking dapper in a white button down shirt and white hat, and appeared to be dining with his (beautiful) daughter and her (geeky) boyfriend. It was awesome.

· Just read your item about Matthew Perry reserving seats for Superman. It reminded me that at the 10:00 showing on Tuesday night in Calabasas, I saw Sinbad buying tickets. He then walked all the way back to the end of a very long line, and made a point to speak to all the movie goers that recognized him. maybe he doesnt have as much "clout" as Mr. Perry. Or maybe he just isn't a douchebag.

· My girlfriend and I were stopped next to a large 70's era open red convertible at a light on Fairfax when we looked over and noticed the car's sole occupant was Danny Bonaduce. My girlfriend pointed him out to me at which point I said "oh, that's that has been loser with the reality show", my girlfriend said to me "I love that show" at which point Danny looked at her, smiled and said thank you. I realized he heard the whole conversation and I felt kind of bad. kind of.

· (6/15) My Girlfriend and I were walking back from happy hour at L'Scorpion on Hollywood Blvd. when who should roll up in a brand spanking new black Lamborghini but Ann-Martin-hating news anchor, Paul Moyer. He was solo, parked in a red zone, set the alarm and sauntered down the street. You stay classy, Paul Moyer!