Lindsay Lohan To Ashley Olsen: 'Get Your Ass Away From My Girlfriend'

Molly Friedman — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:25:00 EDT

When Lindsay Lohan falls off the wagon, she falls hard. So hard, in fact, that she spent this past weekend traipsing around New York in what appears to be a long and eventful whopper of a bender. As we reported yesterday, Lindsay spent her Saturday night downing Grey Goose with new roomie Samantha Ronson before promptly (and nostalgically) passing out in a car. But today's NY Post informs us that the night before was far more eventful. Tagging along with Ronson to the Beatrice Inn on Friday night for one of the chain-smoking DJ's gigs, whatever mysterious substances were floating through Lohan's system manifested into a screaming match directed towards teeny tiny Ashley Olsen:

"Ashley Olsen said hello to Sam at the Beatrice, and Lindsay screamed at her, 'Get your 15-year-old Full House ass away from my girlfriend.'"

Calling Ronson her "girlfriend" is one thing, especially after the two BFFs are now shacking up together, but a piece in today's NY Post reported that Lohan has a new Facebook page under the name "Lindsay Ronson" (revealed by our friends over at Gawker):

So, first comes love, then comes cohabitation, then comes taking your loved one's last name? While we're delighted to hear Lindsay wasn't so far off the rails that she was able to correctly remember which TGIF sitcom Olsen starred in, it seems whatever she was on prompted some sort of amnesia - 15? Sure, Olsen isn't the most mature-looking five-foot-nothing star in the world, but everyone and their father knows the Olsens became legal some time ago.

SAM'S ALL HERS [NY Post]
SHE'S BAAACK: LATE-NIGHT LINDSAY LOHAN [NYDN]

The Sight Of Waitresses In Bikinis Puts An End To Lindsay Lohan's Sober Streak

Molly Friedman — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:55:00 EDT

Hearing that Lindsay Lohan has fallen off the wagon before her one-year anniversary as a sober young lady is far less surprising than the venue in which she decided to publicly rebel against her new good girl image this past weekend: the Hawaiian Tropic tourist trap in Manhattan's Times Square. But apparently, after trying so hard to avoid temptations, banning bad influences from her life and even signing up for (albeit questionable acting roles), all the female shimmy-shaking and bar wenches must have inspired her to let loose. And speaking of bosom buddies, People is reporting that Lohan spent the Scores-like evening alongside none other than helpful healer/new roommate Sam Ronson:

"Lohan started dancing to Britney Spears...Drinking Grey Goose and Red Bull cocktails...Lohan really got into the music, tossing her hair around and doing full body rolls...She also sang along and pumped her chest to Soulja Boy."

And as you'll see from the pictures after the jump, Lindsay's re-entry into the party scene left her passed out in an eerily similar way to her last fateful outing with Ronson...

What exactly a "body roll" is sends us down a blurry memory lane involving late college nights decorated by beer bongs and drunken frat boys (oops), but we're sure Lindsay's tango-trained torso did more than enough to please the crowd. And we do understand why Ronson would stoop to DJ'ing a Saturday night party in the middle of tourist-heavy Times Square, at a soft-core Hooters-esque chain restaurant (she's no DJ AM after all), we're more than confused as to why Lindsay would appear hip to hip with her new roommate, surrounded by magnums of OJ mixers and Grey Goose bottles bigger than her head. If there's anything out-of-towners love more than anything, it's snapping photos on their souvenir store-bought disposable cameras. Is this Lohan's way of rebelling against Momager Dina for refocusing all her attention on the budding Ali? Or was that Grey Goose bottle filled with ...Adequite water?

[Photo credits: Getty, X17]

LINDSAY AND SAMANTHA'S NIGHT OUT IN N.Y.C [People]

Gawker: defamer, off the wagon

Lindsay Lohan To Ashley Olsen: 'Get Your Ass Away From My Girlfriend'

The Sight Of Waitresses In Bikinis Puts An End To Lindsay Lohan's Sober Streak