The unblurred wardrobe malfunction (courtesy of Survivor Sucks), after the jump (NSFW):

• Male Nudity Makes "Survivor" a Major Flop [TMZ]

While James' blonde co-star in grainy quasi-sex tape magic does admittedly have one hell of a (fake) rack, we fear this aspirational photo shoot most likely filmed in an effort to turn Blunt into the next Dirk Diggler and Dourdan into the next Buck Swope will flop — mainly due to that extraneous boat-climbing fellow with the overly tight Hawaiian trunks and Blunt's far-from-beautiful paunch.

[Photo credits: X17]

• POSH BLUNT'S TOPLESS BABES [The Sun]

As we can see, Chirqui was (not so) innocently trying to garner some press for her upcoming Adam Sandler-as-Israeli hair guru movie You Don't Mess With The Zohan by posing in various soft-core poses like the standard "I See You But You Can't See My Tits!" and "My Boobs Don't Fit In This Jacket Mr. Manager!" But the porky Malibu vice were concerned for the safety of all neighborhood residents, and reportedly "came by just to make sure things remained tasteful." While they'd probably be more useful checking in on the taste levels inside Britney Spears' and Lindsay Lohan's various drug and sex-laden abodes in the area, we suppose we'll give them the benefit of the doubt and believe their story, rather than dwell in fear that discrete tit-watch cameras lie on every street corner, sounding the alarm whenever a starlet is seen exposing a potentially dangerous amount of flesh.

[Photo credits: men.style.com]

• COPS SWOOP IN ON TOPLESS 'ZOHAN' SIREN [AOL Movie News]

Paltrow states she isn't trying to court controversy with the new photo, insisting it's just an innocent shot. The mother-of-two says, "I'm not going out without my knickers, and I'm not getting drunk and I'm not on my eighth husband."

While Gwyneth does admittedly look far sexier than we've ever seen her, and sure, a thirtysomething actress posing nude is not as big of a deal as it is when her much younger counterparts like Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus do it, we're still a bit confused by her repeated public attacks on those of us who tend to enjoy a bit of drink now and then: "I think it's gross. I really don't like drunk women...I think they're the idiot people and I'm the normal person." But Gwyneth, aren't we forgetting those two separate occasions when you were not only spotted sipping Grandpa's lemonade, but drinking it while pregnant? You know, glass houses and all.

[Photo credits: GQ, Vanity Fair]

• PALTROW: 'DON'T MAKE NUDE MAGAZINE SHOT MORE THAN IT IS' [ContactMusic]

Yes, via Videogum, this is the cock that has dominated the talk-show circuit and even provoked an epistolary Battle of the Sexes today between pro-dick VF.com contributor Lizzie Hurlbut and anti-dick Movie City News editor David Poland:

LH: I guess my point here is that I actually thought Jason Segel's penis played an important role in some of the film's key scenes. When Sarah shows up to dump him, he's fresh out of the shower, the towel drops, and he's standing there literally stripped bare, vulnerable, exposed. And she rejects him. OUCH. Rock bottom, baby. Naked and dumped. Toss in the fact that an unexpected visual of a penis incites full-on surge of awkwardness for a gal, and you're feeling precisely what that scene was trying to evoke: horrifying, awkward vulnerability.

DP: Really, Lizzie ... how does a woman react to her ex's junk parading around while she's trying to break up? Would he think she would find it attractive? Would she see it as anything remotely sexual? Would she actually try to keep from having eye contact with it? That's where the big laughs live—in behavior that the audience identifies with ... whether it's a flesh-covered punch line or not.

And with that, dear reader, we will never ever ever mention motherfucking Forgetting Sarah Marshall or Jason Segel's cock again on the pages of Defamer. It's been a long week.

• Finally! Jason Segel's Penis In Full, Glorious Color [Videogum]
• Members on Film: A Genital (and Genial!) Correspondence [VF.com]

Not to get too personal or anything, but when we were 18, we weren't exactly jumping on board the waxing trend either. But we also made sure not to let the whole world know it. But considering Emma's most recent paramour, that shaggy-haired mind-bogglingly gorgeous girl-attracting Razorlight front man Johnny Borrell, Hermione may be determined to grow up faster than her peers. Our only other theory? Harry Potter superstar Daniel Radcliffe has been stealing Emma's thunder for, well, practically her entire life. And now he's set to reveal all on Broadway. Could this be his hotter-by-the-second co-star's way of redirecting the spotlight towards her and her own assets? In any case, we do give the girl credit for covering up, even if "covering up" means pretty much showing us all exactly whether or not the carpet matches the drapes (it does).

UPDATE (1:45pm): By popular demand, here's a link to Egotastic's gallery of Her Moaning Granger.

[Photo credits: Getty]

• CHEER UP, HER-MOANY GRANGER [The Sun]
• EMMA WATSON CELEBRATES 18TH BIRTHDAY WITH POTTER CAST, BUT WHERE ARE HARRY AND RON? [Daily Mail]

"There's a limit," Argento says in a smoky voice on the phone from her home in Rome. "And luckily I'm getting more dignified and old as time goes on. My rebellious years have come to a halt. And I'm sick of having to justify myself for work that I do. It mixes the person that you are and the persona of what you are on the screen."

"The last thing I want is to be pigeonholed into doing the same role for the rest of my life, like Bela Lugosi did," adds Argento. "I don't want to end up sleeping in the coffin like him."

While we're not sure if it's luck or the far less volatile rules of biology that make Argento is get "old as time goes on," we cannot blame her for fleeing such typecast ignominy. Female nudity is on the way out anyway, according to Demetrios Matheou, the Guardian blogger whose tasteful recent inquiry "The Elusive On-Camera Erection" invokes crossover porn legend Rocco Siffredi, Brown Bunny perv Vincent Gallo and a mere handful of others in his case for more masculine forays into baring all:

The latest thesp to put his manhood under scrutiny is the wonderful French actor Mathieu Amalric. In his recent review of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, in which Amalric excelled as the paralyzed French journalist Jean-Dominique Bauby, Peter Bradshaw commended "one of the most beguiling screen faces." I would agree. But in The Story of Richard O, for possibly the first time ever, you take your eyes off it. ... Perhaps, after playing Bauby, Amalric was keen to assert that there was life beyond his left eyelid.

• Asia Argento Can't Bare It Anymore [NY Daily News]
• The Elusive On-Camera Erection [The Guardian]