But the knives are out anyway, with at least one impassioned plea calling for Murphy's retirement and another damning rundown of 50 not-impressive films that had higher-grossing opening weekends than Meet Dave (which even our lowball estimate last Friday waaaay overshot). But the scope of the crash-and-burn — not to mention the relative quietude of the backlash — suggests a less-controversial denouement: Nobody cares about Eddie Murphy.

Which isn't to say Murphy is irrelevant. They're different phenomena. He's less than two years removed from his Oscar-nominated performance in Dreamgirls — a performance for which he was a 50-50 shot right up to the point when Rachel Weisz opened the envelope. And you don't need us to revive the rap that some argue kept him off the stage: A surly, studio-hating, tranny-whore-patronizing, Norbit-starring, paycheck-cashing boor. But one who, as junkie bandleader James "Thunder" Early, restored older viewers' faith in Murphy as a dynamic screen actor.

The fat suits and multiple personalities he'd adopted since Coming to America (bludgeoning the form to death in the Nutty Professor films and eventually Norbit) called greater attention to the range of his early comic work. As a throwback to Murphy's predatory live act — on TV, in concert and in movies — it was that much easier to see what culture had lost. It was even easier to see what replaced it: A crowd-pleaser for hire in an era when crowd-pleasers no longer transcend media. There can only be so many, and they can only last so long.

Considering Murphy's big-screen longevity — 26 years this December — his downturn signals anything but irrelevance. More than any recent bust by Myers or Jim Carrey, Meet Dave's disastrous showing owes less to Murphy's presence than to Fox's miscalculation of what that presence means. This is important. The half of the so-called marketing quadrants that made Norbit a hit — men and women under 25 — weren't there to see Eddie Murphy. They were there for the Trick — the concept, the execution, the ease of it all, however crude, stupid and condescending. Basically, they were there for the movie part of it. They weren't yet born when Murphy was Murphy; they didn't know any mighty had fallen, nor from how far up.

Fox counted on that perspective, however, in foisting "Eddie Murphy in Eddie Murphy in Meet Dave" — even if Murphy was too far gone for our liking, he had proven reliable enough for a few of the studio's recent family romps. Right? Doctor Doolittle? Right? Maybe our kids would dig it, while we barely tolerated it for their sake, and, by summer dog-days extension, for our own.

Except "our" kids don't care. They've got better things to do. And we don't care that they don't care. And we don't care that the millions of others who don't care (their numbers reflect indirectly in Meet Dave's box-office trough) don't care either. All we feel is sort of a relief at no longer having to pretend to care — no more calling for Murphy's head or lamenting his choices. That it should happen to such a household name reinforces only its novelty, not its unlikelihood; actors are forgotten and disused all the time. Eddie Murphy's indelibility is his only entitlement; he's achieved that much, Oscar losses and all.

His value, though? His very place? Gone. And this is us, shrugging.

"You can't review 'Norbit' like you're reviewing 'The Departed.' What are you going to talk about, subtleties in performance?" asked Robbins, who now follows Murphy's advice and doesn't read the reviews of the movies on which he's involved. "Eddie Murphy plays three amazingly different characters brilliantly. How could you not praise that? No offense to Alan Arkin (who beat Murphy for the supporting actor Oscar), but he couldn't do what Eddie did in 'Norbit.' "

In Arkin's defense, his Oscar-winning performance was hampered by a directing team who lack Robbins' unequaled populist savvy; had Arkin convinced them to stop pandering to the Academy by insisting that each character be portrayed by a different actor, he probably would have proven a Murphy-level ability to portray Little Miss Sunshine's cartoonishly dysfunctional family all by himself, a performance that would've included a movie-defining moment in which he horrifies a repressed pagaent crowd by seducitvely removing all of his clothes to the strains of "Super Freak."

• Producer makes millions by defying film critics [CNN.com]

1. Norbit—$33.740 million
With Norbit's box office success sure to intensify the unwanted spotlight on the Academy voters' "Should we give the guy in the fat suit an Oscar?" dilemma, a DreamWorks marketing executive had to quickly remind people that when Murphy buries himself in latex, he's showing his versatility, not degrading his craft, telling the LAT: "It's amazing how Eddie can put in a dramatic and creative performance in 'Dreamgirls,' then turn around and attract audiences in a piece of entertainment like Norbit that's pure comedy." It remains to be seen if Murphy's peers will recite the mantra "It's just pure comedy," to suppress the gag reflex triggered by visualizing his "audience-attracting" Rasputia character long enough to check off his name on their ballots.

2. Hannibal Rising—$13.350 million
A sobering thought for plans for future installments of the diminished Hannibal franchise: Even Brett Ratner squeezed $36 million out of his Lecter movie on opening weekend.

3. Because I Said So—$9.041 million
More proof that Because I Said So is just an elaborate hoax? Mandy Moore appeared as a presenter on the Grammys last night and didn't even work in a clumsy plug for the "movie" during her time on stage.

4. The Messengers—$7.2 million
A quick review of the IMDbs reveals that both Dylan McDermott and John Corbett are in this movie. Oh, how far TV's hunkiest hunks have fallen! Or, to look at the bright side, at least the men of Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy know they'll be able to get work in low-budget horror flicks once their shows go off the air.

5. Night at the Museum—$5.750 million
Good news: This is probably the last week we'll have to see NATM in the top five. Probably.

• February 9-11, 2007 Studio Estimates [Box Office Mojo]

Presumably a little frightened by yesterday's LAT story wondering whether the inopportunely timed release of Norbit might make Oscar voters a little skittish about handing over their coveted acting prize to a man who's currently celebrating his craft from underneath a hundred pounds of cellulite-scarred latex, the DreamWorks publicity teams rushed this For Your Consideration ad in the trades today, one which immediately reminds the soul-searching Academy member that beneath those layers of stunt-blubber is a nuanced performer capable of an awards-worthy man-cry.

[Image: Variety.com/additional pullquote: Defamer.com]

• Can Oscar Voters Ignore Eddie Murphy's Troublesome Latex Fetish? [Defamer]

Eddie Murphy, according to today's LAT and various people not completely charmed by the actor's recent emergence from seclusion to humbly accept a handful of trinkets from various press organizations and professional guilds, might have a problem. While he's the frontrunner™ for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his eye-opening, "Hey, he can act!" turn in Dreamgirls, his peers in the Academy might pause as the quivering tips of their fountain pens approach his name on their ballots, have their minds flooded with unpleasant thoughts about the advisability of bestowing the single greatest honor in the history of human endeavor upon a man whose current project demands a Martin Lawrence-level of craft, and, after recovering from a prolonged vomiting fit brought on by thoughts of being asphyxiated by the disturbingly realistic, dimple-riddled ladyfolds of Murphy's Norbit costume, cast their votes for Djimon Hounsou.

Of course, Serious Members of the Academy protest that The Work is judged entirely upon its Own Merits, so even should Murphy suddenly announce that his next project will be called Eddie Murphy Presents: Let's All Laugh at the Fat Black Ladies, their evaluation of his Dreamgirls performance will be unaffected. So expect Murphy to take the podium on Oscar night as planned, with nary a recognition of the non-controversy during his inevitably awkward acceptance speech, not even a nod to the professionalism of his peers for "ignoring the one where the morbidly obese me smother-fucks the skinny, nerdy me. That was big of y'all."

• Is this what a future Oscar winner looks like? [LAT]