In this economy, ABC can't afford to only let go every gay, gay-adjacent, or gay-hating actor on Grey's Anatomy. Other ABC series are feeling the burn, and two newly departing actors were announced today.

The first? Nicollette Sheridan of Desperate Housewives, according to E!:

So how's she getting offed? Here are the exclusive details of the rumored exit...

As it's been penned: Edie [Sheridan] finds out her husband, Dave, plans to kill her-and Dave almost does kill her. She runs out of the house, but alas, poor Edie gets in an accident, something involving her car and an electrical wire. More details to come; the script is still being released for table reads.

Our condolences, Nicollette; may David Spade offer you a spindly shoulder to cry on. Also getting formally fired is the much-rumored-about Balthazar Getty, says E!:

After weeks of rumors that Getty has been causing problems on the set, sources tell us exclusively that episode 19, titled "Spring Broken," will be Getty's last of the season.

According to insiders who work on the show, Getty's character, Tommy Walker, will have a very dramatic and surprising storyline in coming episodes, in which he will-spoiler alert!-go to jail, get out on bail and go on the lam in Mexico.

But here's the really scandalous part...

Sources tell me that before he goes, Balthazar's Tommy will get thoroughly wasted, flirt with young girls and get a nice slap across the face from his mother, Nora (Sally Field).

Is it a case of art imitating adulterous life, or were Getty's future plotlines swallowed-up by Field's maniacal scene-chewing? Whatever it is, we're sure the tumbling economy didn't help; it's a good thing Lost announced an end-date it's working steadily toward, or we have a feeling that the May sweeps smoke monster would leave no one on the show besides Michael Emerson and the dog who plays Vincent. Actually, we would still watch that.

• Exclusive! Nicollette Sheridan's Desperate Housewives Days Numbered [E!]

• BREAKING NEWS: Nicollette Sheridan Leaving Desperate Housewives [E!]

Boomp3.com

Desperate Housewives star Nicollette Sheridan appeared to be very desperate to hear some feedback on her brand new boots. Sheridan said, “I picked up them when after things went south with Michael. Again. Now, I’m not so sure if they're right way to announce to the world that I'm back on the market.” The results of Sheridan’s informal survey showed that a majority of those asked were not fans of the boots, but with the caveat that they looked like they'd be really comfortable.

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

"Extra" has confirmed that Eva Longoria slipped down the stairs of her trailer on the set of "Desperate Housewives" yesterday. She was taken to a local hospital and treated for bruised ribs. Her publicist tells "Extra" that Eva still has plans to travel to Paris later today.

In a statement to "Extra," Liza Anderson (Longoria's publicist) says, "Yesterday Eva slipped on one of the stairs coming out of her trailer. She was taken to St. Joseph's Hospital in Burbank for X-rays. Nothing is broken, but her ribs are very bruised. She expects to return to work as scheduled.''

Longoria's black and blue torso couldn't come at a worse moment, as shooting of Housewives is shifting into full swing, and the actress is reportedly already distracted by a love triangle involving quick-dribbling main squeeze Tony Parker and a former Saved By The Bell-er recently caught without pants. Had the diabolical set known all that, perhaps it would have felt badly and instead moved on to a spork-through-the-cheek mishap involving an as-yet-untargeted Nicollette Sheridan.

• Previously: Teri Hatcher Latest Victim Of Haunted 'Housewives' Set [Defamer]