Gawker: defamer, new years eve

NYPD Prepares For A Jonas Bros. 'New Year's Tramplin' Eve'

Seth — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 16:00:41 EST

When the NYPD looks at the Jonas Brothers, they see something far more ominous than a fraternal trio of virginally delicious pop stars: They see a NYE riot at the Crossroads of the World.

Looking to avoid a future of Rudy Giuliani stump-speeches cluttered with references to "never forgetting the nightmares of 1/1," the NYPD has begun making the appropriate preparations in anticipation of the hormone-tweaking musical phenomenon's New Year's Eve performance in Times Square:

The New York Police Department – which has heroically handled terrorist attacks, blackouts and riots without a whimper – is being cautious over the "mob scene" that could result when the Jonas Brothers perform in Times Square at Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest on Wednesday night.

"So they're now planning on using extra [security] men for support," the source says. "It's going to be crazy because everyone will be in Times Square to watch them perform on the show."

Of course, no amount of training can really prepare the men in blue for the epic anarchy that follows these boys wherever they go. Don't be surprised if Altamont-style mayhem ensues, as one of the Hell's Angels security detail is stabbed repeatedly in the eyes with a barrette by a banshee tween who'd leaped onto their shoulders from the roof of a firetruck for a closer view of the stage.

NYPD Fears Jonas Brothers 'Mob Scene' on New Year's [People]

Defamer Hits Hard New Year's Eve

Seth — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 20:12:24 EST

Having been far too long since we've checked in with our Defamer PartyWatchers, photographer Maggie Serrano (sans trusty cohort Ann) braved the eardrum-blowing decibels of downtown's Hard New Year's Eve Music Festival, where she captured some of our city's most ~~wasted~~ spirited revelers ring in 2008 to the highly danceable grooves of French techno-duo Justice, Canadian electrofilthyclasher Peaches, and 2 Live Crew. Check out our image gallery of the festivities.

Image Gallery: Hard

Kathy Griffin And Anderson Cooper's Chemistry Palpable As They Discuss Balls On New Year's Eve

Seth — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 17:35:37 EST

We honestly don't know who at CNN had the brass cojones to sign off on the pairing of Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper to host their 2008 countdown festivities, but if this seven-minute clip is any indication, we just may have witnessed the birth of a New Year's Eve tradition. Like a glass-closeted Dean Martin and fag-hag Jerry Lewis, Griffin & Cooper elevated the art of ball-drop-anticipatory comedic banter to new heights. (Kathy: "My balls are freezing." Anderson: "We have some eggnog in the truck." Kathy: "Well I've got to watch my figure— I'm not like you." Anderson: "Don't worry, I'm not watching your figure either." *Gay rimshot!*)

We know we've had issues with Griffin's act before, but we think the addition of the twinkly-eyed CNN anchor to the mix was exactly the dash of dashing deadpan needed to make her "Which candidates would you most like to see waterboarded?"-brand of comedy go down a little more easily.

Kathy Griffin & Anderson Cooper New Year's Eve - 3 [YouTube via Towleroad]

Dick Clark Back For One More Depressing New Year's Eve

Seth — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 20:35:45 EST

With seemingly so little to be thankful for this upcoming Turkey Devouring Day, at least we have the happy news that Dick Clark will be rejoining the 2008 New Year's Rockin' Eve festivities, where he'll again be accompanied by a virtually strikeproof Ryan Seacrest. There, at the precise stroke of midnight (perhaps an unfortunate choice of wording given the circumstances), Seacrest will finally deliver the noisemaker-blowing go-ahead to his delighted mentor, resulting in the faintest kazoo-squeak signal for "Auld Lang Syne" to begin.

Dick and Ryan Reunite for a 'Rockin'' New Year's Eve [ETOnline]

Ryan Seacrest Finally Puts Gay Rumors To Rest With Passionate New Year's Eve Peck On Popular Drag Queen Inspiration's Cheek

Seth — Wed, 03 Jan 2007 20:38:39 EST

In the end, all that time Ryan Seacrest exposed himself to the dangers of potential electrocution by engaging in an hours-long, open-mouth kiss with one of the Times Square ball's empty light bulb sockets was not spent in vain, as the New Year's Rockin' Eve host saw his wish granted of putting his freshly sharpened smooching skills to good use on Christina Aguilera shortly after midnight. Aguilera awkwardly swiveled her head away at the last moment, however, leaving Seacrest with nothing but a wall of bronzed cheek upon which to lay his big, wet one—perhaps to not muss her makeup, or simply to avoid coming into direct contact with Seacrest's well-documented, flexed-sphincter style of lip-lock.

Ryan Seacrest kisses Christina Aguilera at midnight! [YouTube]

To Do: Your Weekend Of New Year's Eve

Seth — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 15:13:11 EST

Friday
· Friday night music: The Oohlahs play the Echo, Blackalicious are at the El Rey.
· For those who just can't shake the Christmas spirit, Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer gives the old TV classic the Real Live Brady Bunch-style camp treatment. At the Elephant Theater.
Saturday
· Blondie (yes, Blondie!) play the Canyon Club in Agoura Hills.
· King of Sleaze Mario Diaz's ongoing homo-and-friends dance party Hot Dog at Club 7969 provides all the condiments: You provide the meat.
Sunday
· Dutton's Beverly Hills is being threatened with closure by the city. Go show your support for this island of literacy smack dab in the middle of big agencyville from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., where champagne will be provided.
Your New Year's Eve options:
· USC's Galen Center hosts The Flaming Lips, Gnarls Barkley, and Cat Power.
· The Little Radio Warehouse party features live performances by Autolux, Dead Meadow, and Bloodcat Love.
· Gridlock NYE on the Paramount lot features The Killers and your host, Carmen Electra. No CBS staffers without wristbands!
· Manny Lehman spins the gay circuit thing at the Hollywood Palladium. Rock out with your cock out, fellas.
· Serious house music lovers might want to check out Together As One 2007 at the Los Angeles Sports Arena, where Paul van Dyk, Deep Dish, Marco V and Danny Howell will be spinning, among others.
· Giant Maximus promises to deliver on its XXL name, with three tents downtown, featuring a six-hour set from Sasha & John Digweed, a three-hour DVDJ set from Sander Kleinenberg, and another three-hour set by Armin Van Buuren. Enjoy melting your brain into the new year, folks.

Make it safe and have a blast. Defamer loves you!

Ryan Seacrest's Mistress Is A Big, Sparkly Ball

Seth — Thu, 28 Dec 2006 19:16:08 EST

We realize not all of you will be out traipsing around your town this coming New Year's Eve, choosing instead to spend your final moments of 2006 in the comforts of your homes with ABC's own Father Time and Baby New Year—i.e. Dick Clark, whom they promise will be "back, live," and his bushy tailed yet meticulously manscaped replacement, Ryan Seacrest. And while we were giddily combing through photographs of the final touches being put upon the famed Times Square ball whose descent will be counted down by millions, it suddenly occurred to us that it was she—that shimmering, totemic orb symbolic of our communal progression—whom Seacrest should have been planting one on all along, and not Teri Hatcher! Congratulations, Ryan: You are the future.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Clark, Seacrest will rock in new year [USA Today]

Tara Reid's New Year's Drinkin' Eve

Mark — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 16:28:12 EST

How bad have things gotten for Tara Reid? Apparently, so bad that she'll have to travel all the way to a Marriott in Chicago to get someone to pay her a modest appearance fee in exchange for downing tequila shots, dancing on top of a bar, and occasionally shouting a slurred "Woooo!" on New Year's Eve, activities which a basic cable channel once paid her to perform at drinking establishments all over the world. We can't bear to see Reid in such a desperate state, so party promoters of Los Angeles, we beg of you: Please make her an offer to let her stay in town for the biggest (amateur) drinking night of the year; we're sure the Chicago people haven't sold too many of those $135 and $165 tickets yet, and would be compassionate enough to release her from her commitment if a less embarrassing offer came along.

Future Forward NYE.07 [PureFuture.com]