Quiet indie actor Will Smith will reteam with his I Am Legend director Francis Lawrence for a movie about this: "a father and daughter living on opposite sides of the ocean whose love is so strong that it causes Manhattan to split off and float across the Atlantic." Which, I'm sorry, sounds so fucking lame I want to scream. [Variety]

New Line, long the house that murderous dream janitors and questing lover trolls built, is now Febrezing out its delicates and pushing the pizza boxes under the sofa and becoming a lady-friendly zone. After the success of He's Just Not That Into Horrible People Who Screech and Worry All The Time, Please for the Love of God Just Be a Person, the studio has been ushering in a new host of girl movies, like What Was I Thinking with Leslie Mann and Elizabeth Banks and Valemtimes Day, a movie about Jennifer Aniston being lonely again. [THR]

Want to watch a romantic comedy starring brothers? Oh, you nasty. No they're not in love with each other! They play friends and stuff. Oh, the brothers are Chris and Danny Masterson, one of whom is from Malcolm in the Yelling and the other from That 70s Shit. The movie is called Made for Each Other. [Variety]

Stalwart theatre guy Terry Kinney (he's the dude what had been Julia Stiles' dad in Save the Last Dance) has landed a plum role on popular sophomore drama The Mentalist. He'll play a cop who seems dumb but really isn't! [THR]

Michael Moore has announced the title of his new movie. It's a study of the economy and how it fell down the stairs that one time, and it'll be called Capitalism: A Love Story. I hope he's paying Isaac Bashevis Singer some royalties or some shizz. [Variety]

The new season of Project Runway will feature guest spots by Lindsay Lohan and Christina Aguilera. So, it's 2003 again! Also, four of the contestants are weirdo foreigners. Plus the season's in LA. And it's on Lifetime. Who, exactly, is going to watch this show in August? [THR]

Warner Brothers has picked up the rights to an Argentinian movie comedy called A Boyfriend for My Wife, about a dude who tries to get his wife to fall for someone else so he can dump her and not feel bad about it. Which sounds cute! It will be less cute when it's in English and stars Vince Vaughn and Katherine Heigl. [Variety]

We're pretty sure the inclusion of Powers in their list of 14 franchises to kill was a serendipitous fluke (it's actually pegged to The Mummy 3 and includes Indiana Jones and Friday the 13th as well), but Wednesday's revival news nevertheless reinforced the urgency of euthanizing bad ideas before they can strike again. And why stop at 14? As long as we have the ax out, we might as well finish the job with another half-dozen after the jump.

·Beverly Hills Cop: Sure, we summoned a bit of cautious optimism when we first heard about BHC 4. But word that franchise heir Brett Ratner wants a PG-13 and Eddie Murphy's continued commitment to mediocrity has us second-guessing. Kill it.

·Star Wars: Nothing short of George Lucas encased in carbonite will likely stop his molesty corruption of a galaxy far, far away. But a blog can dream. Kill it.

· Transformers: Wait — never mind! Thanks, Shia.

· Spider-Man: Heresy? Maybe. But if Sam Raimi is more preoccupied with spinoffs and Jack Ryan than Sony's multi-billion empire, just accept the sign. Kill it first, before Joel Schumacher hijacks it.

· Hostel: How much would it cost us to have the pleasure of snuffing this ourselves in a dank Eastern European abattoir? We'll get the money, like, yesterday. Kill it — slowly.

· The Lost Boys: Not a franchise so much as a misbegotten, Haim-wounding attempt at brand-milking, bound to get worse before it gets better. Kill it.

• Running on Empty: 14 Movie Franchises We Think Should Stop [EW]

Kit Kittredge: An American Girl has no sex and not much of a city.

But this G-rated movie adventure is shaping up as Hollywood's next serious bid for female viewers, some of whom showed their power by pushing the R-rated comedy Sex and the City to surprisingly strong first-weekend ticket sales of more than $57 million two weeks ago. ...

[American Girl]'s mail-order catalog, a primary engine for sales, has a blurb promoting the movie on its May cover. Cities with American Girl retail outlets — New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Dallas and suburban Atlanta — will get to see the movie early, beginning on June 20. That first round is being helped along on the Web with Kit's movie blog and, at the Grove shopping mall in Los Angeles, with the giveaway of "Kit's Home on Abbott Place," an elaborate playhouse built by Pardee Homes as part of a benefit for the homeless.

The homeless angle! Why didn't Speed Racer think of that? That's hardly it, though; there's the in-store, mother-daughter dining parties and the dynamic approach to the film's G rating, featuring young Kit's (Abigail Breslin) Depression-era spunkiness and "doubts" about her father, played by Chris O'Donnell, upon learning he once voluntarily portrayed Robin in a Joel Schumacher film. WB brass, meanwhile, at least one high-ranking member of which has gone on record suggesting marketing is secondary to the movies it supports, are insisting today that the experimental "poster defacement" phase of its Get Smart campaign is coming along exactly as planned. We can only wonder how Picturehouse would have done it.

• More Girls, Little Ones, Try to Take Back the Multiplex [NYT]

1. Sex and the City - $55.7 million
Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Take a moment to gaze up at that big, shimmering, fuscia number for a moment, and see if your heart doesn't race just a little bit. From coast to coast—from giddy Wall St. traders having the Sex quartet tattooed onto their backs, to Chicago area tollbooth workers handing out free Cosmos and relationship advice, to Las Vegas tourists running for their lives as four towering Sexbots, manned by what remains of New Line's Special Events and Promotions department, trampled cars and small businesses beneath their eight-foot-high Jimmy Choos—there really was no escaping Sex and the City this weekend.

And people managed to find the time to see the movie, too—$26.9 million's worth on Friday alone, and more than enough to make Sex the Highest Opening Ever for an R-Rated Comedy™. Its 85% female audience instantly metamorphosed into a fearsome nation of gender-inversed fanboys, queuing up for repeat screenings in highly specific costume ("I'm recently-dumped-by-Post-It Carrie!"), and arguing that the Samantha anal-sex subplot was handled to far greater effect in Season 4's "tuchus-lingus" episode. The game, as they say, has changed.

2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - $46 million
While alien-shaped candy bowls with mystical, Russian-detonating properties have given way to massive Manhattan apartments with walk-in closets as moviegoers' supernatural MacGuffin of choice, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas's prairie-dog-riffic ruination of a beloved franchise only managed to drop "a respectable 54%" in its second, regrettable weekend at the box office.

3. The Strangers - $20.707 million
A lesser triumph was Rogue Pictures' execrably reviewed The Strangers, which both succeeded in greatly exceeding box office expectations, while ushering in the next chapter of Liv Tyler's once-promising, now-slumming- with-Scott Speedman-in-B-horror-movies career.

4. Iron Man - $14 million
As Ben Stiller's nephew Carl pointed out on last night's MTV Movie Awards, for the traditional fanboy wanting top-tier entertainment, Iron Man is still the only game in town—at least until Dark Knight comes out, and which point Iron should be pooping nuts and bolts.. In the meantime, enjoy this encore of the Soldered One kicking Kung Fu Panda, who's already getting on our nerves, in the panda-nuts.

5. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - $13.016 million
An additional 43% decline to a puny third week take elicited yet another statement from Disney head Robert Iger, who blamed, "the days of Saturday and Sunday, traditionally the most overcrowded leisure time of the week—full of swimming pool, barbecuing, and sports-watching alternative options" for cutting into the sequel's receipts.

• WEEKEND BOX OFFICE May 30-June 1, 2008 [Box Office Mojo]

PICTUREHOUSE AND WARNER INDEPENDENT PICTURES TO CEASE OPERATIONS (May 8, 2008 - Burbank, CA) Picturehouse and Warner Independent Pictures will cease operations, it was announced today by Alan Horn, President & COO, Warner Bros.

"With New Line now a key part of Warner Bros., we're able to handle films across the entire spectrum of genres and budgets without overlapping production, marketing and distribution infrastructures," said Horn. "After much painstaking analysis, this was a difficult decision to make, but it reflects the reality of a changing marketplace and our need to prudently run our businesses with increased efficiencies. We're confident that the spirit of independent filmmaking and the opportunity to find and give a voice to new talent will continue to have a presence at Warner Bros."

Bob Berney has served as President, Picturehouse and Polly Cohen as President, Warner Independent Pictures. The management teams from both companies will be meeting in the weeks ahead with executives from the Warner Bros. Pictures Group to determine the status of projects in various stages of development and acquisition, as well as distribution of already-dated films.

"Working with Polly and her team at Warner Independent has been great for me personally and a valuable experience for the company," said Jeff Robinov, President, Warner Bros. Pictures Group. "I'd like to thank everyone at Warner Independent for their passion and dedication to independent films and filmmakers. They were involved with some very important films and helped further the talents and careers of a number of writers and directors, and between Warner Bros. Pictures and New Line, we'll continue to nurture those relationships and produce those types of films."

"Bob is an incredibly talented film executive and made Picturehouse an important player in the world of independent film in a relatively short time," said Horn. "I'm extremely grateful to Bob and the entire team at Picturehouse. Their accomplishments and the films they created speak volumes about their dedication to and understanding of the art of film."

Upcoming Picturehouse films include Mongol (June 6), Kit Kittredge: An American Girl (in limited release June 20; wide release on July 2) and The Women (September 12). Warner Independent's upcoming releases include Towelhead (August 8) and Slumdog Millionaire (in limited release starting November 7).

Another whisper (and our own preference) has Berney starting fresh at a new company underwritten with hedge fund cash. The latter would suit him well with Cannes on the horizon and Warners' decreasing overall interest in the volatile indie marketplace; the studio would gladly get out anytime, but we hear they're willing to move ahead with Berney if he's interested. We doubt it, particularly as a co-president with Cohen; he's been calling his own shots forever (quite well, we should add) and would be too attractive a prospect to new money with fewer strings attached. And Berney could bring along the majority of his staff, who would likely take pink slips under the WIP scenario.

In any case, the Picturehouse calendar doesn't bode well for any kind of longevity. Despite Marion Cotillard's Oscar win for La Vie en Rose, the bitter disappointment that was Run Fat Boy Run casts a longer shadow over what's looking like a pallid 2008. Most notably, Warners is reportedly unhappy with the all-star remake of The Women set for this fall. A source tells us the B-thriller Amusement could go directly to DVD. Additionally, with so much of New Line's infrastructure — much of which supports Picturehouse's distribution efforts — to be stripped by the end of July, the worst-case scenario has Picturehouse closing out with the Abigail Breslin vehicle Kit Kittridge: An American Girl on July 2 and Warners cleaning up the rest from August on.

Did we miss anything? Are you hearing different? You know where to find us either way.

1) Where's The Classic Foursome Shot?: Yes, SJP is the star (and one of the EPs) of the series. But to feature only her on the poster is not only a slap in the face to her co-stars, each of whom are reduced to credits only, but confirms those rumors that SJP "demanded" that only she be the face of the poster. So congrats, Sarah Jessica. We get it. Kudos. You just didn't have to (literally) shove that fact in our face, k?

2) The Font's Angle Wouldn't Give Us A Headache...If We Were Stoned: How edgy! The credits, the title, and even SJP's stance is all wonkily crooked to the point where any effort we might have taken to read the small script would require tilting our heads to the side and squinting. Which really isn't fun at all. What's the point? New York is like, wild? Something more profound, like the girls are teetering on the edge of adulthood (a stage we're pretty sure we reached by Season Two)?

3) Pat Fields Has Officially Reached The Height Of Tackiness: From time to time, SATC costume designer and notoriously eccentric stylist Pat Fields has come through with a killer ensemble for the leading ladies. Sure, no "normal" girl could pull them off, but cinematically, they worked. And yet. We don't care if that blue smock is made of the purest crushed blue sapphires sourced straight from Burma; all we see is a shaggy shapeless rug. And don't get us started on the black fishnets. Really? No, really?

[Photo credit: WB/New Line via Firstshowing.net]

• EXCLUSIVE: FINAL 'SEX AND THE CITY: THE MOVIE' POSTER [FinalShowing.net]

Not shockingly, nobody involved is commenting on the shuffle, but the pressure is on as Parent and MGM kingpin Harry Sloan count on Boyter's touch with hits including Wedding Crashers and Elf — as opposed to his lesser-achieving New Line-obit-stuffers like Semi-Pro — to nudge the lion out of hibernation for the first time in years. Sands will no doubt land on his feet; we hear Paramount may have an office on the lot open in the near future.

• MGM's Parent hires Cale Boyter [Variety]

I did feel the need to tweak (New Line co-founder Michael Lynne's) nose once, when he seemed to be trying to diddle the cast of LOTR out of their well-earned share of the profits. It was at a party in Berlin after the opening of The Return of the King. I said "That's for all the trouble you've been causing!" I don't know who was more surprised: Michael, that I had taken his nose in my finger and thumb and twisted it gently, or me for having dared do it! At least one of us enjoyed it.

And, in desperately needed response to "rumors" that Viggo Mortensen and his other male castmates were fraternizing during production, only to beard it up in public:

This gossip is all news to me. Elijah [Wood], Dominic [Monaghan] and Orlando [Bloom] introduced me to their girlfriends during shooting. I didn't ever meet Viggo's partner although his son visited a a few times. It would seem that none of my friends can be accused of hypocrisy. Probably the fevered imagination of slashers is to blame.

McKellen's acknowledgment of such whispers is itself a brave step forward in smashing the Hollywood closet — a classy, conscientious refusal to allow even the basest of speculation to go ignored lest the valuable, "not-that-there's-anything-wrong-with-that" opportunity that follows gets away. Those incoming phone calls from Mortensen, Bloom and Co. are surely best wishes for a successful — and long — return to Middle-Earth.

• The Lord of the Rings [McKellen.com]

Shaye tended to trust his own instincts, sometimes for the best — being the only person in Hollywood willing to let Peter Jackson make his "Lord of the Rings" trilogy — and sometimes for the worse, hastening his demise by ducking out last year to direct a flop ("The Last Mimzy") at a time when New Line was in a downward spiral. [...]

Never blessed with the glad-handing skills of Harvey Weinstein, Shaye drove [Paul Thomas] Anderson away by trying to edit his last film, got sued by Jackson over profits from "Rings," alienated the Farrellys and lost most of his comedy stars to bigger studios who offered higher salaries and fewer blunt Shaye-style critiques of their work.

It's a testament to Shaye's passionate commitment to dirtying his hands with every level of production—hovering over Anderson's shoulder in the Punch-Drunk Love edit bay, for example, wondering if perhaps "the meet cute with Lena shouldn't happen a beat sooner, before the harmonium discovery? I don't know—what do you think? Hey, you mind if I finish that half of your Subway sandwich? Is this great or what—I think we're really slapping together something very special here!"—that he would eventually suffocate and drive away the emerging talent he gambled on when no one else would.

• Hollywood's endangered entrepreneurs [LAT]

To: New Line Colleagues
From: Bob Shaye and Michael Lynne
Subject: Our Company
This afternoon, Time Warner is announcing that New Line will become a unit of Warner Bros. This is, of course, a very difficult and emotional time for all of us who have worked at New Line. While there is not much we can say that can lessen the impact of this announcement, we did want you to know about the decision before you read about it in the press.

New Line will maintain its own identity and will continue to produce, market, and distribute movies. But New Line will now do so as part of Warner Bros. and will probably be a much smaller operation than in the past. Time Warner hopes that operating New Line as a unit of Warner Bros. will allow New Line to focus on the creative side of movie-making, while reducing costs and taking advantage of Warner Bros.' distribution systems. The company will be holding group meeting with New Line employees tomorrow in Los Angeles and New York to discuss this announcement, and is committed to letting employees know as soon as possible about how this change affects them individually. For our part, we will be stepping down as Co-Chairmen and Co-CEOS of New Line. This was a painful decision, because we love New Line and the people who work here have been like our second families. But we will be leaving the company with enormous pride in what all of us at New Line have accomplished together. From its humble beginnings 40 years ago, our studio has created some of the most popular and successful movies of all time. Those movies are a tribute to the amazing creative energy and entrepreneurial abilities of the talented people at New Line. They are a legacy that will endure forever. Although we are stepping out of New Line, we intend to remain actively involved in the industry in an entrepreneurial capacity, and will keep you advised of developments. We thank all of you who have worked so hard to make New Line such a success. We are very proud of every one of you. Bob & Michael

[In case you want to know what you're actually gaping at, it's the inside of a promotional CD for Jackie Moon's "Love Me Sexy" single that just arrived at Defamer HQ. Sample lyrics: "Let's get sweaty/Let's get real sweaty/I'm talking rainforest sweaty/I'm talking swamp sweaty/Let's fill the bathtub full of sweat." In the interest of observing our own decency standards, we'll refrain from transcribing the "lick me/suck me sexy" portion of the song.]

• Previously: Will Ferrell Takes 'Semi-Pro' Crossover Tour To 'SI' Swimsuit Issue [Defamer]

We're not sure how many of the 21 photos New Line helped place into SI.com's online gallery made the actual magazine, but you can see them all here, where each new slide presents a different, period-appropriate scenario (on the court, at the disco, in the back of a limo, etc etc) in which promotional acts of comedian-on-supermodel penetration seem imminent.

• Will Ferrell & Heidi Klum [SI.com]
• Will Ferrell Hopes You Drink Enough Bud Light To Make His 'Semi-Pro' Character Seem Fresh [Defamer]

According to Variety, the Nightmare series will suffer the same fate as upcoming Bay rejuvenation victim Friday the 13th, earning a "complete overhaul" the studio hopes will endear the disfigured killer to that new generation of free-spending fans. Of course, we can't help but indulge our hysterical fears that Bay's worst instincts will go unchecked, and we'll eventually wind up with the central role of "Freddie" Krueger filled by that blonde chick from Gossip Girl, and with razor-fingered, dream-haunting monster's iconic burns replaced by a single, mildly unsightly acne scar that's driven her to slaughter her unblemished classmates.

• New Line sets up new 'Nightmare' [Variety]
• Previously: Hollywood Out Of Ideas: Bay Redoes 'Friday' [Defamer]

But breathe easy, hairy-footed-little-person enthusiasts, Fanboy-Pre-Approved Visionary Guillermo Del Toro is in talks to do both movies, a fact that should put to rest your recurring nightmare that a panicked New Line, turning to the only person the studio truly trusts when it's desperate for a blockbuster, were seriously considering Brett Ratner's pitch to do the back-to-back Hobbitses as "Lord of the Rings, but with, like, much more dwarves and shit blowing up. Chris Tucker's already really excited about stretching himself by playing Dildo Bagboy or whatever he's called."

• Del Toro doubles up for 'Hobbit' [THR]