The executives at New Line Cinema can't wait to take more hard-earned cash from women who don't care about storyline and just want to see something about dating and love — again!

That's why there is a project in the works called Valentine's Day. It will hit theaters right before — wait for it — Valentine's Day, 2010. The plot? The plot is iffy. Something about "would-be romantics working their way through a tangle of circumstances in L.A." But that doesn't matter, because Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel and Shirley MacLaine will be in it. And Bradley Cooper. New Line will come up with a way to work a story around these people, since all that matters is that there's money to be made. Apparently, He's Just Not That Into You proved that women want to go see "romantic" movies — with other women or a date — right around Valentine's Day.

I have nothing against romance, comedies, or romcoms. I love stuff like When Harry Met Sally, Flirting, and Amelie — thoughtful films with strong writing and characters who are forces of nature. But He's Just Not That Into You — a movie based on a self-help book based on a catchphrase from a TV show — lacked substance and soul; the characters might have well have been cardboard cut-outs with labels like "The Optimist" or "The Seductress" taped to them. And for every bad review, there was a person who said, "I'm gonna see it anyway." Now the studio has 94 million reasons to pull that shit again.

As I wrote earlier this year, when you go see a movie like He's Just Not That Into You, you're casting a vote, telling Hollywood you want more flicks in the same vein. And this is what HJNTIY's box office bonanza hath wrought: Valentine's Day. As a former screenwriting major, it is painful to read that this project is being dictated by a calendar date — along with a cast and director (Garry Marshall) — and not by an actual story someone was inspired to write.

Who knows? Maybe there will be some surprises! Maybe they'll change the title to Single Awareness Day. Maybe some great writer (writers, plural, probably) will be hired by the studio to come up with a perfectly charming Valentine's Day tale. (I can already guess that one woman, who you think will stay single, will suddenly find a date; one woman, who you think will have a date, will suddenly be single; and one couple will remain together despite going through a dilemma that should tear them apart.) But for now, I'm already announcing that I'm just not that into it.

Hollywood Has Feb. 14 Circled in Red [NY Times]

Earlier: Liveblogging He's Just Not That Into You
Cliché-Laden Chick Flick Tries To Convince You It's Not Full Of Clichés
He's Just Not That Into You: Gay Minstrel Show?
More Reasons Not To Get Into He's Just Not That Into You
He's Just Not That Into You - First Review
There's No Way You'll Be Into He's Just Not That Into You

While most discriminating critics have yet to weigh in on the film, thus avoiding a Bride Wars-esque review wasteland ahead of this Friday's wide release, one trade reporter offers this qualified recommendation — and even backhanded praise! — after last night's premiere:

[It] could easily have become the latest syrupy Hollywood romantic comedy. Instead the Ken Kwapis pic turns into a wide-ranging and noble (if, in the end, a failed) meditation on fidelity, daughterhood and the meaning of (female) happiness (and a slightly relentless vehicle for product placement). [...]

Several female friends we talked to were delighted by all the usual grace notes but slightly taken aback by, as one called it, "slightly dark." Indeed, for all its Sex and the City pretensions (it's based on a book by SATC writers, and New Line moved it to '09 to avoid bumping up against its Carrie-esque stablemate) this is a movie that at times has more in common with European arthouse relationship movies [...] than it does many Jennifer Lopez/Sandra Bullock studio confections.

Even the guys are somewhat multidimensional, the writer adds, indirectly implying that the long HJITIY delay may have just been some executives' ploy for cosmic balance upon learning the degree to which they'd emasculated Matthew McConaughey in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. No problem, New Line, we're even.

• He's just that into European romantic dramas [Risky Biz Blog]

Her replacement, reports Variety? Guy Stodel, the New Line alumnus who brought us two Texas Chainsaw Massacre remakes. Not quite Into the Wild, we suppose, but welcome to the new Paramount:

"I'm proud of having been a part of building Paramount Vantage from the ground up under John Lesher, making great films," Israel said. "I love the company we built. It's not the same company. (It) is evolving in a different direction. I wish Vantage the best."

Although the moves signal that Vantage is moving more in the genre direction, (Vantage president Nick) Meyer insists the studio is pursuing a more "eclectic and elastic" slate. "We are not abandoning the specialty business. We are too committed to it," Meyer said. "As the company evolves, we need to morph and mutate in order to survive in a challenging environment."

Now watching from the cockpit as Brad Grey flails at the mothership's controls, Lesher had also worked with Israel on Vantage's immediately forthcoming slate of projects including the Sundance doc American Teen, the Keira Knightley period flick The Duchess and the DiCaprio/Winslet reunion Revoutionary Road — a robust calendar for which the main studio is now responsible for getting over the Oscar hump. Failing that, though (and times are tough!) there's always Stodel's big 2009, with New Line/P-Mount's Friday the 13th franchise reboot set to establish Jason Voorhees as the dynamic, hockey-masked Anton Chigurh of the tween set. Sky's the limit.

• Amy Israel exits Paramount Vantage [Variety]

At one point very early on, the duo were talking about starting another New Line (and Ted Turner offered to put up some money), but I've since been assured they have given up on that dream/nightmare. Since they pocketed an extremely generous payout from [Jeff] Bewkes (unlike all those other axed NL'ers penny-pinched by Time Warner), that's what is being used to fund the new operation for the moment. But even though Bob and Michael are centi-millionaires, they're still intent on using that tried and true Hollywood formula to fund their new operation: Other People's Money.

OK, we're listening. But what's the catch?

They are looking for some outside financing so they can produce third party product. I hear Lynne is trying to raise the money through his "New York Cipriani" circuit. Tipsters tell me that he may even relocate to Los Angeles — for obvious reasons. As one insider explained to me, "Unless he's there watching the store, no one's giving him money to send out to Bob."

Yes, obviously! Anyway, to the extent any of this is actually true, here's a vital chance to be a part of history, like playing rhythm guitar with your favorite weekend-warrior bar band or — quite literally, perhaps — buying your very own John Waters movie, executive produced by [YOUR NAME HERE]. Don't expect anything in return, like a meeting with "Bob's pal" Peter Jackson or, you know, profit, but really, what price can you put on working with a pair of the industry's last true mavericks? Come to think of it, don't answer that — Shaye will have that figure for you when you meet. Just remember the magic words: Unmarked bills. Let's make a deal!

• Bob Shaye and Michael Lynne Set Up Shingle [DHD]

And that's not the least of it for the studio; after the jump, join us in watching SATC's male interest plunge!

Some industry folks, like former South by Southwest festival guru and admitted SATC follower Matt Dentler, have strictly pragmatic reasons for avoiding the film: "Sure, the movie is rated 'R,' but what boundaries could they possibly have left to push?" he wrote Tuesday. "Are the gals gonna test out some bestiality and necrophilia? I can't say that would really send me to the box office anyway." [Mr. Dentler's views do not, ahem, reflect those of Defamer. — Ed.] But both Variety and the Associated Press have far more skeptical glimpses at the big picture, with the trade noting that most men "suggest they'd rather be shot than sit through the movie."

The AP's Jocelyn Noveck, meanwhile, adds that the last hit to skew so female was the PG-13 The Devil Wears Prada:

"This movie really will be a paternity test for R-rated female-driven romantic comedies," said analyst Jeff Bock of box office tracker Reel Source. "There haven't been a lot of movies like this." Bock predicts the movie will have a strong opening weekend, then a big drop-off. "There's no getting around that this is a film oriented to women and gay men," he said. "It will be very hard to get past that, especially with a lot of testosterone-driven films out there this summer."

"Paternity tests" [?] aside, we can't wait to see how New Line reacts to the challenge. What's the worst that could happen? No, seriously — what is it? Half the office has a sick day planned Monday anyway.

• 'Sex' Sells, But Will Men See 'City'? [Variety]
• Can Women Alone Make 'Sex' A Hit? [AP]

Emmerich, 45, will report directly to Horn, who will have final authority on the six or so movies New Line will produce annually. However, Emmerich will have at his discretion a fund of about $25 million to buy scripts, option books and hire writers. He will also work closely with Warner's motion picture group President Jeff Robinov. ...

"The assimilation of New Line under Warner's umbrella isn't happening in a cliff-like way," Horn said. "There will be a period of transition." Nonetheless, Horn noted, "it's fair to say the reduction will number in the hundreds."

Those hundreds will likely include marketing head Rolf Mittweg and distribution chief David Tuckerman, while Emmerich will oversee a streamlined crew left behind to steer '08 "highlights" including Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay and Sex and the City: The Movie (the latter of which, of course, has its early red-band campaign well underway).

What little dust remains to settle — besides the over/under on the duration of the messy Hobbit lawsuit — involves New Line's boutique shingle Picturehouse and Warner's own art-house subsidiary, the flailing Warner Independent Pictures. The smart money these days has WIP folding into Picturehouse, with president Bob Berney sticking primarily to acquisitions and WIP boss Polly Cohen designated for assignment. We see the rationale here, but we'd also like to hear any tips if you know otherwise.

• Warner Bros. moves to shrink New Line [LAT]

THE EXECS ARE PACKING... In addition to Shaye and Lynne, production boss Toby Emmerich has one of the 600 jobs threatened by the New Line overhaul. New Line's indie label Picturehouse, fresh off hard-won Oscar victories for La Vie en Rose but stranded by HBO's recent divestment from the company, is on deathwatch as well; it will likely be absorbed by Warner's own boutique shingle Warner Independent.

... BUT THE HOBBIT IS SAFE! Sort of. Assuming Bewkes can square up with the J.R.R. Tolkien estate, which is suing for not only the $150 million it says its still owed from The Lord of the Rings franchise but also to reclaim film rights to other Tolkien work, the long-delayed, two-part Hobbit prequels will forge ahead for release in 2010 and 2011.

FEWER MOVIES, MORE BLOOD. Warner Bros. is expected to slash production by at least a third, maxing out around 20 releases per year. Harkening back to the label's early, sleazy John Waters/Wes Craven days, New Line will handle the low-budget horror and comedy portion of the slate. Expect less Be Kind Rewind, in other words, and more Semi-Pro.

BRETT RATNER IS SAD. The noted fauxteur, whose lowbrow excretions from Money Talks to the Rush Hour franchise puddled in the New Line supply chain for the last decade, told The Hollywood Reporter: "They are family, and it's like seeing your family fall apart. ... Bob [Shaye] is the guy who bought the first pencil for New Line Cinema." Alas, if only marketing $70 million studio releases was as easy as calling Staples.

INTERNATIONAL POTENTIAL. The Golden Compass was the most recent and most expensive example of New Line's practice of selling off foreign territories for upfront productions costs, costing the studio nearly 75 percent of the film's $330 million global box office. WB's international presence means it can keep those rights, though it's mostly too-little, too-late with New Line's output deals soon expiring and cheap genre films pledged for the future.

NIKKI FINKE GETS TO BE EXTRA-ANNOYING. Yet another foregone conclusion appearing on Deadline Hollywood Daily begins with Finke shouting "TOLDJA!", thus terminating Gary Busey's all-too-short reign as Scariest Hollywood Trendsetter.

• Tolkien Estate Sues New Line Cinema [AP]
• Bewkes Nukes New Line [Hollywood Reporter]
• New Line in Warner's Corner [Variety]
• TOLDJA! New Line Folds Into Warner Bros [Deadline Hollywood Daily]