Weathers will probably do more like one year, according to The Smoking Gun, although the time will be hardened by the fact that Weathers will have the least intimidating criminal record in the joint. "What are you in for?" "Mugging the shit out of a bunch of people. You?" "I stole DVDs from the mail and put them into my backpack everyday at work, until Netflix tipped off the USPS and I was busted on a surveillance video. I was caught RED HANDED. Geddit? Ha?"

A page of the plea agreement reprinted by the Smoking Gun refers to "the 3,012 recovered DVDs," implying that Weathers couldn't even fence the property he stole from the DVD mailing service, which is just as well: He faced $38,000 in restitution if he couldn't cough up the goods. Worst. Heist thriller. Ever.

(Pic via HackingNetflix on Flickr)

Red Envelope boss Liesl Copland appears to be on her way out as well, marking roughly the 674th job lost in the indie sector in 2008. RIP, of course — but what does it all mean? And when, when will the carnage end?

REE had partnered with distributors like IFC Films and Samuel Goldwyn since 2005, at one point splitting acquisition and theatrical distribution costs in exchange for DVD rights and half the profits. As noted today in The Hollywood Reporter, that all changed this past January when Red Envelope pared back its operation; its closure Tuesday wipes out yet another player in the indie market following the dissolution of Picturehouse, Warner Independent and Tartan Films, with ThinkFilm, The Weinstein Company and Sidney Kimmel Entertainment on life-support close behind.

Bleak, huh? On the bright side, at least Paramount purports to still be in the game despite its overt genrefication last week. Take your silver linings — and your résumés, we suppose — where you can find them.

• Netflix closing Red Envelope [THR]
• Netflix Shutting Red Envelope Entertainment [indieWIRE]

In rough-and-tumble Bridgeport, CT:

#1: "I Think I Love My Wife"
#7 is "Why Did I Get Married?"

Theme: Oh noes. Families are disintegrating.

San Francisco:
#1: "24 Hours on Craiglist"
#3: "Commune"
#7: "Burning Man: Beyond Black Rock"

Theme: Techies and hippies!

In the geek-boy Google capital of Mountain View, CA:

#1: "Tell Me You Love Me, Season 1"
#2 and #6: "Battlestar Galactica

Theme: We work for Google. There aren't a lot of girls here and we're sad.

In fancy Easthampton, NY:

#1 is "Becket": "When King Henry II (Peter O'Toole) names his friend and former drinking partner Thomas à Becket (Richard Burton) the new Archbishop of Canterbury, he counts on his unbending loyalty when it comes to religious matters..."

Theme: Inaccessibility, old money.


[Photo: librarygeek's Flickr]

This must be the one where Moses takes down the Pharaoh and his gang of thugs terrorizing the slums of Egypt. See, he waves his holy .457 magnum and the bullet parts the streetpunk's skin... — BEN POPKEN

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