So intense is his Method commitment to the role of parent, Watts says, that Schreiber looked into the possibility of donning an artificial pair of breasts to bond with their first child. This, then, is the sad state of Hollywood today: even its more virile, hairy-chested actors are pressured into getting fake boobs. When Alec Baldwin starts looking a little fuller on top, it will be time to panic.

• Ellen

· Naomi Watts is close to a deal to star in My Name is Jody Williams, a biopic of the brash teacher-turned-activist who launched a controversial, Clinton-needling campaign to eradicate land mines. [THR]
· Rosie O'Donnell will star in and executive produce the Lifetime original movie America, an adaptation of E.R. Frank's touching book about a troubled, 232-year old superpower fighting its way through the foster-care system in New York. [Variety]

Boomp3.com

Megawatt movie star Naomi Watts made a quick stop at a Manhattan area Container Store to help contain and protect her developing baby bump from prying eyes, gazers, stares, and various lookie loos. Watts felt that she could have worn an outfit that may hid her bump better, but the weather was just too nice. Watts said, “I just couldn’t hid my bump on such a beautiful autumn day like today.”

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Something must be going wrong in Hollywood today as megawatt star Naomi Watts dropped off her own clothes at a Brentwood area dry cleaner. Watts tried to maintain a low profile, but her radiant smile —not to mention the small army of shutterbugs trailing her— gave her away. Before cataloging all of Watts’ items, the owner of the dry cleaner offered the standard issue deal for celebrities. The owner said, “Now if you bring in a signed head shot of any kind, it’s free dry cleaning for life, except for comforters. Those things just take too long to clean.”

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Personally I still miss this unmistakable quality, and have to ask, where has it gone? We have no shortage of talent and beauty in Hollywood today, but those stars that come across (to men at least) as having true class, style, and by extension, smarts, seem in low supply. I don't see that rare, ethereal quality in Angelina, Charlize Theron, Naomi Watts, or Halle Berry, capable "actors" all. (Admittedly, Laura Linney comes close, but she has a certain earthbound quality; notwithstanding her obvious acting chops, too often she comes off like everyone's sister, the one you instinctively passed over.)

We wouldn't take it that far, but still, this idea that one contemporary actress is the last classy woman standing got us thinking: Pound for pound, what's Joan Allen got that a handful of others after the jump don't?

Patricia Clarkson: She earned an Oscar nod playing up ailing dysfunction in Pieces of April, but she's a revelation of raw, complex class in underseen indies from The Dying Gaul to Lars and the Real Girl to Married Life. Woody Allen should be sued for her character's forced, egregious wimpiness in Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

Penélope Cruz: Mostly in Spanish-language films, we're afraid, particularly Volver and All About my Mother. But her strides opposite Ben Kingsley in Elegy help us forget her crossover beard efforts in Sahara and Vanilla Sky.

Vera Farmiga: She owned Down to the Bone, overshot hysterically in Joshua, and settled into a tormented, riveting (and generally unseen) sexiness in Quid Pro Quo. Bonus: She belongs here if only for holding her own in The Departed in what's written as little more than a token role for "Anonymous Person with Vagina."

Naomi Watts: Did class and trash with equal aplomb in Mulholland Drive, then slyly revised the role as rags-to-riches starlet Ann Darrow — the only watchable thing opposite Andy Serkis and a green screen in King Kong. Was as classy as they come in little-seen, forgotten The Painted Veil. (Rent it, John Farr.)

Catherine Zeta-Jones: Versatile and gorgeous, too often overshadowed by her male leads in the likes of the Zorro films, Intolerable Cruelty, No Reservations — not to mention in her own marriage. She's reportedly playing Lana Turner in Stompanato, finally giving her a chance at the lead in a melodrama people might actually see. (Sorry, Harvey Weinstein.)

Who did we miss? We know, we know — besides Dakota Fanning.

• Where Are All The Classy, Smart Female Stars Today? [HuffPo]

We're troubled, however, to read for what feels like the the thousandth time that the ladies aren't quite measuring up:

In an era where risk-averse studio executives have declared men the more reliable movie stars—and the more desirable moviegoers—perhaps it's no surprise that they are also the medium's top earners. The reality: Hollywood's 10 best-paid actors out-earned Hollywood's 10 best-paid actresses 2-to-1 over the course of the year.

Collectively, the big screen's leading men took home an estimated $487 million between June 1, 2007, and June 1, 2008, compared with the leading ladies' haul of $244.5 million.

However, in an even more revealing Forbes slideshow for the prose-impaired, we discovered that actresses fared much better in the "Ultimate Payback" category, which calculates the best gross-to-salary ratios in the biz. While a pre-Fred Claus Vince Vaughn ranked #1, Julia Roberts, Naomi Watts, Jennifer Aniston, Renee Zellweger and Jodie Foster cracked the top 15 as well. (That'll happen when you're relatively underpaid; top-earning actress Cameron Diaz is way down at #32.) Prepare yourself for Christian Bale's controversial post-Dark Knight ascent, followed by the touching, accompanying profile of how the strapping star went from clown's son to box-office powerhouse.

• Hollywood's Best-Paid Actors [Forbes]
• The Ultimate Star Payback [Forbes]

Though Woody Harrelson, his buns of steel, and the very edible Justin Theroux do bring a bit of heat to the male vegetarian crowd, they hardly make up for the presence of Don Imus and Bob Barker, who would make far more appropriate candidates for the Hottest Sexist Vegetarian list. As much as we love and adore Peter Dinklage, we don't exactly fantasize about sipping tofu shakes with him in bed. Grouped with Serious Method Actor Jared Leto and failed comeback kid Corey Feldman, the full list (in its entirety here) isn't inspiring us to convert to nuts and berries any time soon.

• SEXIEST VEGETARIAN CELEBRITY 2008 [PETA]

boomp3.com


Funny Games star Naomi Watts played a cruel trick on money hungry photographers at the premiere of the HBO film Recount. Photographers began to high five each other as they saw Watts walk down the red carpet in a sheer top, but their excitement quickly turned to disappointment as they discovered that Watts was wearing pasties. One photographer said that a photo without the pasties could've covered his rent for a month or two, and then added that it seems like these celebrities don't ever think about the photogs when making clothing decisions.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

[Demi] lacked a defined waist, carried too much meat on her thighs, and was, by movie-star standards, thick overall."

Parr writes of Madonna, "When [she] and I started working together, she was very soft." Madonna, soft? Considering recent pictures of her whether she's airbrushed or not, we didn't realize putting the two in the same sentence was even legal anymore. And poor Watts, whose perfectly fit body provided the only moments of solace throughout the entirety of Funny Games gets the following distinction from Parr: "fleshy...we needed to trim and tighten so that she would fit the mold of a bikini-clad babe." Did he really just say "bikini-clad babe" in a book? Now we understand who's feeding stars impossible-to-believe bites when it comes to blabbing about how much they "chow down" to the press.

[Photo Credit: news.au.com]

• CELEBRITY TRAINER WRITES OF DEMI'S MEATY THIGHS AND FLESHY NAOMI WATTS [HuffPo]
• CELEBS CLAIM TO CHOW DOWN - AND THEY'RE TRYING AWFULLY HARD TO CONVINCE US [NYDN]

· Universal hires David Benioff to write a biopic based on the Kurt Cobain biography Heavier Than Heaven. While the "nature of the story they are trying to tell" hasn't been revealed, Courtney Love is executive producing, so we wouldn't be too surprised if the project becomes the tale of a totally stable, sane wife who just couldn't save a troubled genius from his demons. [Variety]
· Valerie Bertinelli signs on as "celebrity content buddy" for the Rachael Ray show, with the former Mrs. Van Halen handling various BFF duties for the host, like traveling the country to bring her fun stories from the road, or dropping by the studio to cook and do each other's hair. [THR]
· CBS's The Big Bang Theory and The Unit and ABC's Private Practice get full-season pick-ups—you know, unless that little strike thing winds up happening. [Variety]

In today's episode: Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber; Kate Bosworth; Michael Bay; Faye Dunaway; Jon Heder; Nancy Reagan; David Hasselhoff; Kevin Connolly; Soleil Moon Frye; Adam Brody; Ian Ziering; Jason Priestley; Kevin Weisman; Kelly Osbourne; Camryn Manheim; Tom Bosley; Maria Menounos; Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds and Angelyne.

· @ the new Pinkberry in Brentwood Wed 7/11 8:30pm. We had just picked up our order when my boyfriend (who is as "non-Hollywood" as it gets) spots a dude in a red hooded sweatshirt at the cash register and asks, "Hey, isn't that some actor guy?" Actor guy turns out to be Liev Schreiber, and as I'm preoccupied explaining this to the bf I almost fail to notice a very pregnant Naomi Watts a few inches away from me, walking up to get her yogurt. She looks different in person and didn't seem to be wearing makeup, but kudos to her for braving the ever-present crowd at Pinkberry au naturale AND pregnant. After they left the store a few passers by stopped and talked to them, but other than that they seemed to go unnoticed. A very casual, seemingly down to earth and normal couple.

· Kate Bosworth at Pinkberry. July 10. She stood patiently in line, by herself, looking perfectly small and gorgeous.

· A bit late (sorry) but rather apropos, given your repeated references to all that is 'Transformers'. MICHAEL BAY himself, hanging poolside at the Beverly Hills Hotel, July 4th. He joined a group of heavily-enhanced / worked out OC-types who were drinking / sunning their surgeried bodies in a cabana. Arrived just in time to chow down on a burger & fries (Dude! Eat something! You're too skinny!). Checked out my 3 girlfriends & I; I don't care how much your movie just grossed; dream on, buddy! Left early, no doubt to battle Malibu traffic in time for the (fogged in) fireworks.

· Tuesday, 7-10: A 5:00 show of "Broken English" at the Sunset-5 is interrupted when a batty specimen, none other than Faye Dunaway herself, walks into the theater and sits down halfway through the movie. Notably on her person are a distinctive white baseball cap and a single, white glove on one hand, which has faint traces of hair dye. The movie ends, Faye stays firmly put in her seat, while the humbled theater staff cleans up waste and carefully watches the movement of their trash pails so as not to disturb her, because she is now immersed in a trancelike stupor, eyes closed, sans footwear. An hour after the next show has started, Mommie Dearest finally emerges, and walks out the front door, while an aura of wonder/horror lingers in her wake.

· July 11: Just saw Jon Heder and his twin brother at the Kwik E Mart in Burbank. No one recognized him, they were too busy getting squishees.

· so i know this is not as goovy as most, but yesterday (7-12) at Jessica nails on sunset plaza i saw Nancy Reagan coming out from getting her nails done.....i even intro'd myself to her, but she couldn't shake my hand cuz her nails, light pink were still damp. she got into her red (isn't it nancy reagan red) car, she was wearing a lovely light blue pants suit, with a driver and a guy with a ear piece. she looks amazing for being what 150 years old! i kinda felt like i had just met the 'queen'..........

· Looking like a tanned caricature of himself, David Hasselhoff ate lunch at Iroha on Ventura today (7-11). He's very freckley in person. I looked away.

· Tonight (7/11) around 10 pm at Blowfish Sushi, Kevin Connolly was chatting 3 tables down with some woman and one (or was it two?) guys. My girl spotted him first, I didn't even see him sit down. She's dying to see Jeremy Piven, but by the way she was, uh, "admiring" (staring at) him, E was a good find. Bigger than I expected.

· Just saw Punky Brewster (Soleil Moon Frye) walking down Larchmont talking on her phone (7-10). It's been about five years since I last saw her wasted at the Circle Bar, she seems much more mom-like now. Still very cute, still got those giant but tastefully deflated boobs. Remember before the reduction when she guested on that episode of Wonder Years where she pushed Kevin Arnold into the lake and when she bent over to try to catch him....woah.

Also, just remembered I saw Adam Brody dorking out at the Decemberists on Sat night, but looks like others found him too.

· A very tan Steve Sanders, ahem, Ian Ziering hiking up Runyon Canyon on Tuesday (7-10). He's, gasp, better looking in person than I would have thought, seeing as how I never gave him notice on 90210. And Brandon was hotter than Dylan. Just saying.

· I haven't sent any of these before, but these celebrities are everywhere! Today, about 30 minutes ago (7-12), Jason Priestley at the Trader Joe's on Riverside in Toluca Lake...with an older woman that had to be his mom...Later!

· Yesterday (July 12, 2007) Kevin Weisman patronized Starbucks on Sunset and Gower (where I happen to work). After he ordered his drink I let him know that he was the best part of "Alias." His response: "Ok, well now you get the rest of the money... becuase you were niice" said with a smile. Then he thanked me for the compliment and (hopefully) enjoyed his tall non-fat cap. Nice guy, that Kevin fellow.

· Tuesday July 10, spotted Kelly Osbourne in the VVIP area at the Klaxons' El Rey show with members of the Like (was it a daughters-of-rockers night out?) and a bunch of record label douches. Kelly was FREAKING OUT because she thought someone had taken her jacket.

· Today (7-11)on Abbot-Kinney in Venice, at 7pm, I saw Camryn Manheim (of "The Practice" and "This one's for all the fat girls" fame) crossing the street, smiling and laughing with her cute, shaggy-haired son, Milo. She looked good!

· "Mr. Cunningham" Tom Bosley at my eye doctor in BH yesterday (7-11). He was just sitting in the exam chair wearing dark glasses. Someone there told me he either loves you or hates you, nothing in between.

· On Monday, 7/10 at about 2:30 PM, I decided to take a quick break from work by taking a walk outside. I spotted some teamsters sitting on their butts on apple carts that said "Access Hollywood". Second later, I spotted Maria Menounos, full of attitude, wearing her "I'm-too-cool-for-you" aviators and a summery dress coming out of Madison with a beefy bald man-handler/producer wearing a Simon Cowell-esque black t-shirt. I'm guessing she was there to film something at Kitson.

· Saw Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds (the guy that Eddie Murphy's girlfriend used to be married to) with a surprising small entourage making his way through the baggage claim last night (7-10). Still looks in shock from all that money Tracey took from him. He looks like he's 50.

· On the 10th, I saw a suspiciously pink Corvette parked in front of the newstand on Beverly Drive. Could it be? Was it she? Yeah it was! I love Angelyne sightings.

· The HBO party is described as a "gateway bash," thereby making it the weed to the Warner Bros./InStyle's cocaine and NBC Universal's heroin "hard parties."
· At the Warner Bros.-InStyle party, barefoot and clutching her trophy, Felicity Huffman "shimmied and sang for two hours to the party's live band," as concerned Hollywood Foreign Press officials stood in the background second guessing their choice. Meanwhile Cillian Murphy revealed his boy crush on Joaquin Phoenix, gushing, "He's the best actor of his generation," as the familiar strains of the Brokeback love theme swelled behind him.

The NBC Universal party, meanwhile, was a "lavish, rooftop bash," with delighted winner Reese Witherspoon, "surrounded by grim faced guards," presumably to keep overenthused, clingy househusband Ryan Phillippe in check.
· Jamie Foxx, we have reported before, is a big tipper, and always creative with the denominations. This time around, USA Today reports, it's a lucky bartender who received $200 in 20s. Foxx explains: "I worked a lot of jobs in my life, and I know people forget to tip, so for all those people, I want to take care of them."
· Page Six reports that Naomi Watts showed up to the Vanity Fair party without Liev Schreiber on her arm, asking a friend, "You don't know any nice, single guys?" We imagine spending two years making goo-goo eyes at a green-catsuited Andy Serkis can really give you unrealistically elevated levels of what to expect in a mate.
· Reuters offers some raw entrance footage, rendered somewhat surreal when unencumbered by animated intros and loud, sycophantic voice overs. Behold! As Jessica Alba enters the Warner Bros./InStyle party, pronouncing the festivities the perfect opportunity to "come and hang and have fun and party. It's nice and you can dress up and be glamorous," proving once and for all that there is indeed substance behind this pretty package.

So I went to Comic-con on Saturday, and like most of the people there, went primarily to see Tenacious D. Well in order to see the concert, you had to get there 4 hours early and sit through some panels advertising the latest films coming out. Not bad, because you get to see some actors and actresses trying to deal with a group of people that they probably have forgotten about since high school - Geeks.

So, the panel for King Kong comes up, and they show the trailer and a 2 1/2 minute rough cut of a scene from the film. Then the lights come up and Adrian Brody, Naomi Watts and Jack Black are standing on the stage. Every body goes apeshit (pun intended), and the three of them are really happy, until it becomes apparent that everyone is only really excited about seeing Jack Black. Here is one of those humbling experiences that will only happen to Brody and Watts a few times in their career. Sitting on a panel not being asked any questions by 3000 people who care less if they are there, and having to listen to question after question being directed to a B-list actor. [Ed.note—JB a B-lister? Hush your mouth, lest you be torn limb from limb by Comic-Con attendees.]
The best part: somebody went up to the mic during the Q & A and said offhandedly, "Oh, and I really like Michael Brody's work too." To which Adrian responds, "Dude, that was the guy from Jaws."
Almost as good was the woman asking Jamie Foxx how much of a letdown working on Stealth was compared to Ray, in front of the cast and director Rob Cohen! Picture 3,000 people going "OUCH!"

If you really want to tax your powers of imagination, try and picture 3,000 people turning out to see Stealth.