Gawker: defamer, mr t

Mr. T Pities The Fools Who Think He Isn't Gay-Friendly

Kyle Buchanan — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 20:05:00 EDT

On the defensive after appearing in a Snickers commercial yanked for homophobia due to its swishy speedwalker, 80's icon Mr. T appeared on The O'Reilly Factor and made it up to gays everywhere the only way he knows how: with glorious, glorious camp. The arm-wrestling brawler immediately produced a long-winded, written defense which he then read from on air; highlights include the passages, "I have been pitying fools for 28 years, Biiiiiill," "Speedwalking is an Olympic sport," and desperate pleas for someone, anyone, to talk to "SPEEDWALKA!" for his reaction. T particularly triggered our sympathy (not pity, we leave that to the experts) when he whined, "On The A-Team, I called the bad guys a disgrace because they was harassin' helpless people. No problems. No complaints." Too true, T. Compared to GLAAD, those bad guy lobbyists really need to get it together. [Amy Proctor Blog]

WATCH VIDEO

Mr. T Still Has It After All These Years

Douglas Reinhardt — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 18:35:00 EDT

boomp3.com

Sporting twin bandoliers filled with Snickers bars, 80s icon Mr. T recently resurfaced on the Australian arm wrestling circuit. Inspired by the Sylvester Stallone film, Over The Top, The A-Team star sought out the roughest, toughest, meanest arm wrestling scene in all of the world, which lead T to the land Down Under. Mr .T said, "I pity the fool that thinks M.M.A. is tough. Arm Wrestling is where it's at. People wrestling for real life things like children and Snickers bars."

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

John Singleton Brings Impossible Dream of 'A-Team' Adaptation to Screen

STV — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:40:28 EDT

We've long believed that of all of Mr. T's deeply subversive acting work of the '80s, nothing demands a more serious reappraisal through the prism of contemporary social issues than The A-Team. Especially an A-Team directed by John Singleton, whom Fox has nabbed for its feature-length adaptation to open in summer 2009. Alas, with the updating reportedly focusing on a group of Iraq War veterans railroaded for a crime they didn't commit, Singleton requires a kinder, gentler, less gold-plated 'Nam vet anti-hero B.A. Baracus to carpool his batch of mercenaries in that famous black van.

Longtime Singleton cohort Ice Cube is the natural choice for the job, but at 38, is he too old? Woody Harrelson has likewise been rumored to sign on as Baracus' fool nemesis Howlin' Mad Murdock; that'll never happen. We'd rather see the races and roles reversed, actually, perhaps with an especially loco Tracy Morgan taunting Ryan Gosling's brooding, post-traumatic-stress-addled Murdock, with their nurturing mentor Hannibal Smith, played by a begloved Alec Baldwin, philosophizing over cheap cigars and the glory days of the first Iraq War. Surely Luke Wilson can clear space in his schedule for a postmodern turn as smooth operator Faceman. The short-lived journalist Amy Allen could stand to make a revival as well — perhaps Winona Ryder can bring her refurbished CVS Drama School gifts to the formidable boy's club, assuming she can avoid community service.

'A-Team' on Fox's slate [Variety]

Ghost Ride The DeLorean

Mark Graham — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 21:45:21 EST

· Somebody call Doc Brown, this is 1.21 jigga-WHATs of unabashed awesomeness. Keep your eyes peeled for the homey with the prosthetic leg; he puts Mucca to shame. [College Humor via AOTS]
· During the course of our day, we read a lot of truly shitty op-ed pieces. It's part of the job, we don't like to complain. While we normally shield these sorts of works from your eyes, we would like to share one of the more egregiously awful pieces we've read in eons with you now. Its title? "How utterly cool is Natalie Portman?" Barf. [MSNBC]
· "We've seen comebacks happen over and over again in the entertainment industry, whether it's John Travolta, the Spice Girls, or fictitious characters such as Indiana Jones or Rambo. Now it's Mr. T's time." So true. We pity the fools who don't read Mr. T's graphic novel! [Mohawk Media]
· We have to be honest, once we hit the 90-second mark in this video and realized that it's 22 minutes long, we stopped watching. That said, many tips have hit the Defamer inbox today telling us it's funny. So, there you go. Democracy in action. [Funny Or Die]
· And finally, we close the day with a bit of good news. The Elliott Smith wall on Sunset in Silver Lake has, thankfully, been untagged and restored to its pristine beauty. A tip of the cap to our friends at LAist. [LAist]

Short Ends: Remaking Mr. T

Mark — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 21:54:44 EDT

· Vince Vaughn's lawyers would like the world to know that he and Jennifer Aniston are still as together as ever, and that they're ready to sue into oblivion the nasty gossips who claimed he made out with some cheap blonde in London. Unrelated: The Break-Up, available on DVD tomorrow!
Is Lindsay Lohan going to take a break from acting? Probably not, but that shouldn't stop anyone from quietly wishing she might disappear for a year.
Despite this apparent "job application", former NY Daily News JV gossip columnist Lloyd Grove swears he's not headed to the LAT.
If you've ever thought that Mr. T's decades-old mohawk-and-fifty-pounds-of-gold-chains look could use an update, here's your chance to make it happen.
We bet that if Tom Waits were to handpick one actress to do an entire album of his music, he would've picked Scarlett Johansson, too.
More K-Fed wish fulfillment: Househusband to be bodyslammed tonight on WWE Raw. Set your DVRs!