Millionaire Matchmaker is: A horrible materialistic show in which Patti Stanger sets ugly rich nerds up with ugly young gold-diggers. Supposedly Patti is using ancient yenta arts, but really she's just throwing a barrel of horrible people into a darkened room and if a match is made, terrif.

This season she introduced her first millionairess—an actual lady looking for love!—and that was a big awesome deal except it didn't really work out because gender roles don't work that way (well, not on cheap reality TV, at least.) But now there's an even bigger shakeup: she's having a GAY millionaire on the show! Like a man what does other men and has at least one million clams in his bank account. So she's herding up some young desperate things who will preen and pout in the hopes of landing sugar daddy and Patti will nod her helmet head and we'll all feel good about the world.

Except it will be terrible, because the very concept of this show—nothing simpler than Love Is Bought—is so repugnantly awful, especially in this economic climate, especially in foreclosure happy and credit crunched southern California. But at least it's progress for the gays. Y'know. One step forward. (A million steps back.)

The production is based at a house on Sierra Bonita, between Hollywood and Sunset boulevards, just three houses up from Graham's home, where she has lived since the mid-'80s....She doesn't like the fume-spewing trucks parked running in front of her house, where the production has placed portable toilets. She's not that keen on the planned night shoot that will go to 3 a.m., either, because it calls for bright lights, rain machines and Great Danes. [...]

Residents are grumbling, though, even though many work in the entertainment industry and are reluctant to speak out against a big star like Smith, the production companies (Overbrook and Escape Artists) and a studio (Columbia). They complained about noise and the loss of parking spaces, which force certain apartment residents to park at a nearby church and take a shuttle bus to their building.

The report goes on to note that Graham has since negotiated an "agreement" with the Seven Pounds production company, the terms of which she refuses to divulge. ("It's not about the money. It's about having the neighborhood stand up and say, 'This is too much.'") Her frustration is entirely understandable, perhaps only to those who have personally experienced the inconvenience of missing the once-per-evening St. Thomas the Apostle SuperShuttle, only to later find yourself doused by an artificial typhoon and attacked by Great Danes as you attempt to retrieve a Trader Joe's Fearless Flyer from your front porch.

[Photo Credit: THR]

• Neighborhood's head pounds from production [THR.com]