Last night's episode built to an electrifying showdown between the controversial Mrs. B—who's made no secret of her wish to see son JoJo settle down with a nice, white, Catholic girl (despite the fact that she herself is neither nice nor white)—and her arch nemesis, African-American candidate Misty.

Openly defying his mother's wishes, JoJo texted Misty an invite for a hot tub date—a savory comeuppance further chilled by Misty's choice to rock the sluttiest soccerwear in her carry-on for their lovers' rendezvous. A heated confrontation in the McMansion foyer required the intervention of the other girls, lest Mrs. B produce a shiv from her purse carved out of her favorite good-luck crucifix, and plunge it deep into the JoJo-possessing she-demon's dark heart.

Which brings us to the sequence above, in which producers selflessly offer Mrs. B the services of a helicopter, that she might witness JoJo engaged in an unholy interracial tongue-mashing. The results are truly amazing, for while she never actually utters the words, "What kind of autocannons and rocket launchers does this whirlybird got?! I need to INCINERATE A BITCH," she does succumb to a full-scale apoplectic seizure. After pledging to neuter her son without the use of surgical instruments—an image still seared into our cortex—Mrs. B decides to unleash her rage upon the aircraft's window. The fiery wreck that follows is only a Defamer recreation, but entirely plausible, given the circumstances.

Misty would be dismissed by JoJo at the end of the episode, excluded from next week's foray to the US Virgin Islands for having disrespected his mother—but we suspect it was too late for such reparations. Once you've pledged to squeeze off your son's own balls on national TV, there's really no turning back.

• Momma's Boys [NBC]

For the uninitiated, the show is a throwback to reality TV's Golden Era, only this time Joe Millionaire's mother is standing above her son as he "gets to know" the bachelorettes in the bushes, demanding in droning, nasal tones why he can't "have sex with one of the nicer girls up in the mansion? What about the schoolteacher who played you that song on the piano? She seemed nice. This girl you're doggy-styling is just a tramp, Robbie. I'm sorry, but it needs to be said."

We introduced you last week to the charming Mrs. Bojanowski, the proud Iraqi-American mom whose matter-of-fact distaste for blacks, Jews, and Asians has become a minor sticking point among some of the 475 contestants. In a heated confrontation between she and contestant Vita, an African-American military nurse, an agitated Mrs. B explained that she was in fact friends with multiple blacks, including what we'll presume to be the black "half of the Detroit Lions." Vita later apologized, and Mrs. B was large enough to accept it, one hand firmly clutching her purse at all times. (For doubters, Mrs. B has a deep capacity for love, writing in her bio, "I have a German shepherd, four Chihuahuas, and two ferrets. I am an animal lover, and want the world to know that I hate hunting because I believe there is already enough food out there.")

After the requisite get-to-know-me-and-my-famewhoring-aspirations small talk, a cacophony of BlackBerry text-alert sounds informed contestants whether they had been deemed worthy of a "Yes," a "No," or a "Meet me by the pool so we can build some dramatic tension and/or humiliate you on national TV." It was there that Mrs. B's little JoJo, just 21 but already showing a bold faculty for outside-the-mom thinking when it comes to narrowing down large numbers of chicks he wants to nail, did the unimaginable, and granted Vita another shot at love.

In the sequence above, some of the surviving contestants released stress-induced bloat with an old fashioned, spaside, reality whore burp-off.

• Momma's Boys [NBC]

The NBC show pits three live-at-home bachelors and their mothers against 32 bachelorettes. The mommas arent afraid to list their occasionally racist dating-restrictions ("You don't want 'a black?' 'A' black?! Listen here: I'm gonna kick your bitchass momma-ass clear across this McMansion floor, you hear me?!") In the clip above, two contestants reveal their softcore pasts, eliciting the expected catty derision from their competitors. Still, we wouldn't rule out either the former Playmate or the adult film actress just yet, as Mrs. Bojanowski might surprise everyone by showing a refreshing open-mindedness regarding the sex-trade—ultimately bestowing her matronly blessing upon her son's choice by announcing in the season finale, "I don't care who or what you stuck in your hoo-ha for money, darling. My JoJo loves you, and that's all that matters. Welcome to the family, Vivica Flowers!"

Here's Mrs. Bonjanowski's big debut:

• Momma's Boys [NBC]

Jeremy Piven: Piven's sole endearing schtick may be his continuous decision to bring along his mother, acting coach Joyce Piven, as his date to all the big awards show. But considering his history of venomous counter-mom attacks, plus the fact that Joyce trained the far more accomplished John and Joan Cusack, Jeremy is in need of overcoming some very complex issues.

Ben Silverman: The Peacock Prince is, of course, overseeing the show itself, but who better to learn from Ryan how to untangle the apron strings? Despite all the self-love and a head so large we tend to confuse it with a pinata, our Ben has to deal with the fact that his TV exec mother Mary may be responsible for his seat atop the NBC throne. As a NY Magazine story once quoted Mary, "I came home from work one day, and Ben said 'You know what, Mom, [NBC] is my channel and I'm going to run it when I get big.'"

Justin Timberlake: So many issues to work on here! For one thing, Lynn Harless infamously harped on JT for dumping Britney back in the day, tsk tsking him for ruining their Mickey Mouse romance based solely around matching denim outfits. Secondly, like Piven, Timberlake is fond of producing Lynn as his awards show date, despite the fact that she insists on showing more cleavage than Dolly Parton. And after that recent Madonna diss on Ellen, in which Justin essentially bashed all women over 40, we'd like to see Seacrest help these two kiss and make up.

[Photo credits: Wireimage]

• NO ALPHA MALES [NY Post]