Gawker: defamer, mira sorvino

Gummy Savers

Kyle Buchanan — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 17:11:12 EST

Mira Sorvino takes out teeth before love scene. [People]

Like, This Is So Totally Embarrassing: Our Top Five Classic 'Valley Girls'

Molly Friedman — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 18:30:00 EDT

As THR reported recently, MGM is planning a musical remake of the cult classic Valley Girl, which became the epitome of everything the magical land of acrylic nails and gum chewing addictions stood for in the early `80s. However, the remake is ruffling the feathers of many an industry insider, mainly because the brains behind this project are less interested in revisiting the infamous twang and mall headquarters associated with girls from the Valley, a group the film arguably captured better than any successor. Instead, the epic soundtrack will serve as the reincarnation's primary subject. But whether or not the idea tanks, we're just happy to have the chance to round up our five favorite on-screen Valley Girls to ever gag us with a spoon:

Torrance Shipman, Bring It On: For every sweet as sugar Valley Girl like the original film's Julie Richman, there is the head cheerleader. Torr, her sidekicks, and her priorities dipped into the shallowest end of the San Fernando pool of prissy dumb blondes (with hearts of gold! In the end, of course!) Classic Quote: "I am only cheerleading."

Romy And Michele, Romy And Michele's High School Reunion: A rare glimpse into the lives of the post-grad working life of the VG, Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino actually made anyone unfamiliar with the Valley kind of want to live there, where folding sweaters defined the girls' perfection of living by that old mantra: ignorance is bliss. Classic Quote: "You look so good with blonde hair and black roots it's not even funny."

Stacy Hamilton, Fast Times At Ridgemont High: For every Torrance, there is a Stacy Hamilton: that shy, naive non-looker with the way hotter friend, who falls for the short, pale, and not handsome bad boy because he smokes cigarettes and dresses in all black. Classic Quote: "When a guy has an orgasm, how much comes out?"

Tai, Clueless: Most people instantly envision Cher as a classic VG, but the contemporary Emma lived in Beverly Hills. And sure, Tai does hail from the scary land of Manhattan where "coke" means cocaine, not Coca-Cola. But by the climax of the flick, Tai represents everything VGs stand for: short skirts, make-up, gold jewelry and boyfriend-stealing. Classic Quote: "You think I'm a mentally retarded airhead?"

Buffy Summers, Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Oh, Buff. The yellow cheerleading outfit. The gum. The bleached hair. The mini-skirts with polka dots used to attract football players. The like, icky gross feeling you get around dudes with British accents who are old and stuff. Our favorite, by a landslide. Classic Quote: "Right, I'm the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping."

MGM DEVELOPS MUSICAL 'VALLEY GIRL' [THR]

Trade Round-Up: Focus Features Buys Back Mira Sorvino From Lifetime Network Enslavers

Mark — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 15:36:27 EDT

This just in: Network executives are impatient, either cancelling or giving full-season orders to shows based only on a couple of weeks of ratings data. [Variety]
It's nice to see Mira Sorvino breaking out of TV movie jail and getting a part in an Actual Feature Film, joining Mark Ruffalo, Joaquin Phoenix, and Jennifer Connelly in Reservation Road. (And we're so proud of ourselves for not ruining the moment by perving on Connelly, which would be completely inappropriate on Sorvino's big day.) [THR]
New MTV FIlms/Nickelodeon Movies president Scott Aversano's bloody housecleaning claims 16, with "several" others getting reshuffled elsewhere within the MTV family. [Variety]
ABC signs Bonnie Somerville to a talent-holding deal. Yeah, we had no idea who she was until we ran her through IMDb either, but we're sure it's money well spent. [THR]
Warner Bros. TV's "low-cost" Horizon Television unit signs American Idol judge Randy Jackson's production company to a multiyear deal, hoping that Jackson's ability to discern amateur singing performance that he's "totally feeling, bro," from ones he's "not feeling, dawg" translates into a knack for developing TV shows. [Variety]