The AP reports:

Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter are husband and wife.

Hall's spokesman, Craig Bankey, said on Friday that the couple eloped in California on New Year's Eve. They'll walk the red carpet together at the Golden Globe Awards on Sunday — the first time publicly acknowledging their relationship. [...] They've been quietly dating for about a year and a half.

At their wedding, Carpenter's grandfather's wedding band was attached to her bouquet of white roses.

All joking aside, we couldn't be happier for the couple. Romantically speaking, it's been a great week for unintuitive forensics cops with psychopathic brothers, and a terrible one for busty psychics. Oh well—c'est la vie!

• 'Dexter' siblings get married [USA Today/AP]

In today's installment: Paula Abdul, Courtney Love, Diane Keaton, Salma Hayek, Jason Schwartzman, Forest Whitaker, Elliott Gould, Mischa Barton, Craig Ferguson, Seth Green, Luke Perry, William Peterson, Michael C. Hall, Peter Krause, Maria Sharapova, Robin Tunney, Craig Bierko, Ian Ziering, Rodger Lodge, Max Martini and John Calipari and more.

SATURDAY, JULY 5
· A strange duo at the LAX Luftansa business class counter around noon: Six Feet Under's PETER KRAUSE (and son, I presume) with The Unit's MAX MARTINI (again, with son). Both looking quite virile.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 23
· Tennis Darling/Nikon shiller MARIA SHARAPOVA shopping at the Anthropologie in El Seguendo Plaza. She was rummaging through racks and stacks like everyone else (Stars! There just like us.)

SATURDAY, JULY 18
· Saturday night at Bar Marmont, I saw my future ex-husband, MICHAEL C. HALL, of Dexter fame. He seemed shy, but very polite.

MONDAY, JULY 21
· DIANE KEATON, hand-in-hand with her adorable young son (looked 7 or 8), walking him in to day-camp at the Ocean Institute in Dana Point. Amidst the sun-aged, OC wanna-be MILFs, Diane looked sophisticated and straight out of Annie Hall in long sleeves, dress slacks, blazer, scarf, and felt hat.

TUESDAY, JULY 22
· I JACK STEHLIN (DEA Roy Till on Weeds, thx IMDB) at the Whole Foods on Barrington and National. He was helping two cute little girls (his daughters?) at the salad bar. He has very very blue eyes. Later, out in the parking lot, I saw ELLIOTT GOULD pulling into a parking space. Looks exactly like Elliott Gould pulling into a parking space.

THURSDAY, JULY 24
· I went to LAX last Thursday and saw WILLIAM H. PETERSON, dressed head to toe in black, including some sort of black baseball Castro-styled hat, and oddly because it was very warm, a dark scarf. He was so "incognito" it was hard to miss him. Of course no one noticed him anyway. I will say he greeted his driver very warmly - which was saved me from really being annoyed with his trying-so-hard-not-to-be-seen-that-of-course-you notice-him 'tude.
· 3:30 p.m.: RODGER LODGE, of Blind Date and sports talk radio fame, chatting with his wife while pushing a double stroller through the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. Unshaven and dressed for the pool, but still quite manorexic and brow-waxed. Two kids under 4 years old scampering about and being loud. An animated thought bubble appeared over his head: "How did I get here? My God, what have I done?"
· Saw Memphis basketball coach JOHN CALIPARI talking on his mobile phone in front of the InterContinental Hotel in Century City this morning...Had a terrible tick and was mumbling something along the lines of "Guard Chalmers! Guard Chalmers!" No sight of Memphis Tiger bandwagoner Justin Timberlake.
· LUKE PERRY at El Toro Cantina on the Miracle Mile. With a pretty, skinny brunette, both totally into each other. Was disappointed to see he was wearing sweatpants, once he stood up to leave. He still looks amazing, not gonna lie.

FRIDAY, JULY 25
· Spotted SALMA HAYEK at the ArcLight looking terrific — didn't she just have a baby? She was with what looked like her girl posse ... did not see what movie they went to, but wanted to cheer girlfriend on for breaking the engagement to Francois-Henri Pinault.
· This is the type of star sighting that urban myths are made of. I saw COURTNEY LOVE, America's Sweetheart of babble-blogging used-to-be-rock stardom, shopping for paints in Cox Paints in Santa Monica. From behind a turnstile of Benjamin Moore samples came the raspy strains of a woman on the edge...the edge of re-painting the inside of her Malibu home with a cacophony of kaleidescopic colors in various finishes. The most important was finding a red that had to match something of the red glitter variety. Oh Courtney...you are bat s**t kooky crazy and skinny as an adolescent whippet which is exactly what I look for in a celebrity.
· 11:30 a.m.: CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS' wildly underappreciated and underpromoted late-night host, hunkering down in a corner of the Starbucks in the middle of the MGM Grand in Vegas. Wearing a black T-shirt and big, thick sunglasses while talking to a hot, age-appropriate blonde and being quite charming to people who recognized him. He's gonna grind Jimmy Fallon into haggis after NBC commits Lorne-assisted suicide next year.
· This morning at 10:00 am I ran into CRAIG BIERKO at the Beverly/Detroit Starbuck's. If I ever get a TV gig, I have to have his DP and makeup crew. For this lucky guy, the camera subtracts 10 pounds.

SATURDAY, JULY 26
· ROBIN TUNNEY at Dan Tana's for a birthday party with Heidi Klum's ex-husband Ric Pipino. Hairdressers get all the hot girls!
· I was coming out of The Dark Knight at Arclight and my friends and I saw one paparazzo take a picture of someone on our way to the parking garage. We had no idea who it was and kept walking to the elevators, when we got a closer look and saw it was MISCHA BARTON. She didn't look as emaciated as one would expect and was with a normal-looking guy who was about her height, maybe a little shorter. The guy seems to be an upgrade from her past men - he looked like he showered.
· IAN ZIERING is training a (his?) very well behaved shaggy dog by Cafe Primo on The Strip.
· Saw PAULA ABDUL at the Borders on Ventura in Sherman Oaks. She had a handful of books in one hand (Three Cups of Tea was the only one I could see the title of) and a coffee in the other. She was looking at the travel books and seemed alone. Planning a vacay maybe. Sundress, ponytail, pretty.
· Spotted SETH GREEN last night at a friend's Comic Con after party. Way shorter than expected and seemed to be unable to enjoy himself for fear that he would be recognized. Honestly, the whole place knew he was there and no one was bugging the guy. Ignored a friend who tried to strike up a friendly conversation with him outside the party. Acted like he was busy on the phone instead. Overall impression, lame.

SUNDAY, JULY 27
· Heidi Klum's current hubby SEAL at the Coffee Shop, downstairs at the BHH. Also spotted, real estate reality TV stars JOHN BERSCHI and KURT RAPPAPORT. JACK OSBOURNE also poked his head in, but wouldn't wait for a stool.

TUESDAY, JULY 29
· FORREST WHITAKER indulging some fans outside ONE Sunset. Not as big as I thought he'd be.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 30
· I spotted JASON SCHWARTZMAN in the Staples on Sunset. He wasn’t holding any office supplies, but he did look like a man on a mission. Very handsome, although much smaller than I would have expected.

In today's installment: Alec Baldwin, Miley Cyrus, Seth Rogen, David Spade, Amanda Bynes, Ellen Page, Lawrence Fishburne, Anthony Kiedis, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Mena Suvari, Michael C. Hall, Marilu Henner, Holly Marie Combs, Tempestt Bledsoe, Clea Duvall, Heidi Fleiss and both Rancics, Giuliana and Bill.

APRIL 13
· Just saw Seth Rogen at the Whole Foods at Fairfax and Santa Monica. He was being toted around by his quite attractive yet non-actress brunette girlfriend. She obviously wears the pants so to speak. Seth looked like he normally does; schlubby and definitely not light on his feet.

APRIL 15
· RFD is sort of like shooting vegans in a barrel, but this was too good to pass up. Tuesday, 4/15, there was a near-miss "American Pie" reunion when the kid who played Finch (imdb says, eddie kaye thomas; now appearing on the delightful "til death") left just before Mena Suvari arrived: tramp-stamped, be-wifebeatered, braless. Adjourned to the bathroom for several minutes, came out snuffling and nose-wiping. Hope nobody told her that these days they cut llallo with ground kitten bones.

APRIL 17
· Sid-ibum-Bid-ibum-Do-Me-Til-I'm-Well-Done...Anthony Keidis, looking very tan, well-groomed and happy leaving Blue Plate on Montana with his tall young bride.

APRIL 18
· I went to the 11:10pm screening of Forgetting Sarah Marshall at the Cinerama Dome and who was there but Amanda fucking Bynes! She was wearing black short shorts, gold high heels, and looked a little too young for me to be attracted to her without it being creepy. Amanda seemed to enjoy the movie though, and when she exited the theater she was being followed by an enterprising paparazzo with a video camera.
· GULAGER ALERT! Saw Clu Gulager trying to cross Fountain Ave on Friday, April 18th. Normally I try to hit people that don't use a crosswalk, but the Gulag can walk wherever he damn well pleases.

APRIL 19
· After a few weeks without a celebrity sighting to report, I can happily add not one, but TWO sightings to my favorite Defamer feature! Yesterday (4/19), my friend (who hears 4 times a day that talks just like Juno) and I were at the Hollywood Farmer's Market, when who should walk by but Ellen Page. I saw a lot of greens coming out of her giant reusable bag (could have been lettuce or the tops of carrots). And she wasn't wearing any sunglasses either, unlike Marilu Henner, who was with a hoarde of kids (maybe she was doing a scavenger hunt like Teri Hatcher). Props to Ellen for keeping it real and for helping to save the environment (she says as she goes back to the 90s).
· We saw Alec Baldwin tonight walking by himself through the food court at the Woodland Hills Promenade Mall. He was wearing blue shorts and workout jacket, seemingly oblivious to the crowd around him. He went up to the AMC theater ticket window and seemed to be grilling the cashier about something. We left and came back 10-15 minutes later and he was still there, but this time with another man I didn't recognize. That's the last we saw of him as we headed out to our car.
· Saw Miley Cyrus in the Barnes and Noble at The Grove around 11:15am holding a book called Puddlejumpers and looking at other books in the kids section. She had on giant dark glasses, but nothing else about her was incognito. She went directly to the check-out when a couple of 8-year-olds recognized her. Yeah, a superstar in the kids book section. Wild.

APRIL 20
· Yesterday, while at Swinger's cafe, Michael C. Hall (Dexter / Six Feet Under) and Jennifer Carpenter (Dexter) came to have a post-work out lunch after sweatin' it at Easton's gym across the street. Justin Kirk (Weeds) was also brunchin' it. After my delicious Swinger's lunch I headed over to Target where I saw my favorite funny lady, Ashley Jensen (Extras / Ugly Betty). I really love her! So cute in person too!
· Scariest celeb sighting: Suge Knight was on my flight to Vegas on Saturday afternoon. I guess he's fallen on hard times if he's flying Southwest but his diamonds would say otherwise.
· At the Hollywood Farmers' Market around 11 a.m., Zooey Deschanel was looking very happy (and great looking, without makeup). Her glow might have had something to do with the rave review that the NY Times gave her singing sidebar She and Him.

APRIL 21
· I was at Granville's in Burbank for my buddy's birthday[Happy Birthday Chris!]. We were all hanging out and laughing when someone realized that the girl sitting next to our table was no other than Tempestt Bledsoe a/k/a Vanessa Huxtable. She was having a quiet dinner with a girlfriend. We decided not to bother them but you know The Cosby Show was the show that I associate all these fond memories so my friend and I eventually approached them for a photo [after most of our group had gone home]. Tempestt was very gracious but declined taking a picture because she wasn't in the frame of mind. We accepted that and told her it was a pleasure meeting them. I was a little bit disappointed but my life is complete! I met Vanessa...now if I can met Rudy, life will be just sweet!
· Saw Holly Marie Combs of Charmed fame at Disneyland. Was with son, nanny type, and husband(?) She looked gorgeous, very natural looking without make up, sat on the tram with the rest of us common folk.
· Was at Koi last night, taking the parents (who are visiting from Georgia and were hoping to spot a star) out for dinner. Our party of six, which included my seven-year-old niece, was seated in the table adjacent to David Spade. He was dressed in t-shirt and a huge army green trench and trucker hat, speaking loudly enough to be heard for several tables. If that's not obnoxious enough, he dropped the "F-bomb" several times... fortunately it went right over my niece's head, but we did move her to the other side of the table so she was no longer back-to-back with Potty Mouth. He was with three male friends and kept talking about his career and how "I don't want to spend more than $3,000," presumably on dinner, but who knows. In fairness, he did say "Excuse me," and step aside allow my girlfriend to pass him on her way to the restroom, so maybe he's a gentleman every now and then. The evening left me even further confused about how he landed Heather Locklear, though...

APRIL 23
· Apparently Ventura and Sepulveda is the Beverly and Melrose of C-listers. Two days ago I saw Lawrence
Fishburne at said intersection, dressed in a plaid button down shirt, aviators and ill-fitting jeans. He
was alone and waiting to cross the street towards the Sherman Oaks Galleria. The next day I saw Stephen Root
(thanks IMDb), Mr. I-Believe-You-Have-My-Stapler of Office Space fame, going into the Marmalade Cafe not 1/2 a mile away.
· This one is for all my fellow gay girls out there. Spotted Clea Duvall and Leisha Hailey with two friends at the Tegan and Sara show at The Glass House in Pomona (ew). Two dykons walked right into the heart of a hotbed of lesbians! They were low key and adorable as all hell. Squee-age was kept to a minimum.
· I was having an early dinner (circumstances, not my age) at La Scala in Brentwood (the eggplant is to die for) and who should be in a wall booth facing the entire rest of the surprisingly busy restaurant, she in her giant while sunglasses, he under his giant bowler hat, but Ms. Paris Hilton and true love of the moment Benji Madden. No fanfare, no paparazzi, no idea why they would be having dinner at 5:30 in the afternoon (or perhaps it was lunch?), but drinks and actual food appeared to be consumed in a completely civilized manner, and the parting smile as she brushed against my shoulder on the way out will fuel my pathetic fantasy life for way too long.
· Lo and behold, who comes weaving and stumbling down Hollywood Blvd at 12:45 in the afternoon? None other than former madame Heidi Fleiss. She was decked out in all-white carrying a plastic bag. From a block away, I thought she was a drunk, homeless person. I felt like running to her father's office to demand an intervention.
· As I was pulling up into the parking lot of the Albertons at Hillhurst & Los Feliz at 6:45pm, I immediately noticed a woman exiting the store with huge blonde hair, tiny mini skirt and tight shirt. It's my first Angelyne sighting! Angelyne gets into a pink Corvette with personalized custom tags. Maybe I have low standards, but I thought she actually looked pretty hot for being 100 and I even had my glasses on. However, she must have a pound of make up on. Definitely a G.I.L.F. Oh, another thing. She looked like she didn't want to be bothered but why do you look like that when you are eldery and drive a pink corvette if you are trying to shun attention?

APRIL 24
· Giulianna and Bill Rancic jaywalked in front of my car on La Cienega. Looked like they were heading to Stone Fire Pizza Company. Though I am not sure how G's skinny legs hold her up, they looked cute together, holding hands as they crossed the street.
· Was at the Soup Plantation at the Beverly Connection on Thursday night and saw everyones favorite Goth Labrat, NCIS star Paulie Perrette. She looked really good and had a hairy bearded rocker guy in tow. I gotta learn to play guitar!

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]