"It was eight years ago, and I find it unbelievable that Meg continues publicly to rehash and rewrite the story of our relationship," the actor tells us exclusively. "Also, I find it regrettable that our son, Jack, has to be reminded in a public way of the turmoil and pain that every child feels in a divorce."

Quaid, who went on to marry real estate agent Kimberly Buffington and have twins last November, adds: "I, myself, moved on years ago and am fortunate to have a happy, beautiful family."

Why, is that a thinly veiled shot at Meg and her lovely adopted daughter, Oprah Winfrey Ryan? Be careful, Dennis: you can shut her down in the press all you want, but Meg Ryan will never be afraid to give you some lip (after all, she's got plenty to spare).

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Dennis Quaid says Meg Ryan's beef over divorce is 'unbelievable' [NY Daily News]

But she tells the new issue of InStyle (excerpted by Entertainment Tonight), "Dennis was not faithful to me for a very long time, and that was very painful.

"I found out more about that after I was divorced," she adds.

Of Crowe, she says: “I think he took a big hit. But Russell didn’t break up the marriage. He was definitely there at the end, but it wasn’t his fault. I was a mess. I hurt him too at the end. I couldn’t be in another long relationship, it wasn’t the time for that. So I got out.”

She continues, "My time as a scarlet woman was really interesting. As painful as it was, it was also incredible liberating. Now I was utterly free. I didn’t have to care about what people thought."

Now that Ryan has injected life into a long-dormant story with these new, lip-smacking details, we await rebuttals from Quaid and Crowe. In the meantime, like something that was once thin that has become surprisingly full, our impression of Ryan has expanded to include these new revelations. Who knew that America's Sweetheart could OH MY GOD MEG STOP. STOP DOING THAT TO YOUR LIPS. JUST STOP, PLEASE. LOVE, DEFAMER.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Meg Ryan: Dennis Quaid "Not Faithful to Me for a Very Long Time" [Us]

Hear Ryan's story after the jump, and join us in selecting the top celebrity-celebrity baby names of the future. Help us help her to not make the same mistake twice.

• The Late Show With David Letterman [CBS]

Boomp3.com

Apparently the stress stemming from the eagerly anticipated release of The Women has really taken its toll on star Meg Ryan. Ryan uses her over active sweat glands as a way to gauge the public’s interest in her films. Ryan said, “Right before When Harry Met Sally came out, I was sweating buckets. Literally buckets. So, these little wet marks appear to be a sign of good thing to come.”

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

· "It's finally here, and it's a major dud." [Rolling Stone]
· "The Women is such an arduous patchwork of 'issues' it ends up a Frankenstein's monster of a chick flick." [EW]
· "This new version of The Women fails to celebrate its characters as women. It patronizes the C-list cast of Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Debra Messing, Eva Mendes, Jada Pinkett Smith, Bette Midler and Candice Bergen as politically correct pawns." [New York Press]

· "The Women clangs with so many false moments that you practically leave the theater with tinnitus." [MSNBC]
· "The Women isn't so much incompetent — though it has all the visual sumptuousness of a suburban rummage sale — as it is hopelessly tame and muddled. It certainly doesn't help that the movie's lead is completely lacking in the mature glamour that so entranced women filmgoers bracing for a world war, and has had so much plastic correction that her features — all but the ingénue eyes — are immobilized (and this in a movie that sucks whatever laughs it can muster from the Botox-and-surgery subculture). Could that be Meg Ryan peering out from Goldie Hawn's face? Since I have yet to encounter a Ryan comedy in which she fails to flap her hands while pulling on or peeling off woolly socks several fetching sizes too large for her dainty feet, it must be she." [LA Weekly]
· "Watching the high profile unveiling of The Women taking over billboards and window displays all over N.Y.C., it's hard not to be reminded of the fanfare surrounding John McCain's introduction of Sarah Palin as his pick for VP. Both are strategic attempts to court the coveted adult female demographic. Both claim to be exactly what the ladies of America have been waiting for. And both miss the mark entirely." [Premiere]

• The Women [Rotten Tomatoes]

What's the difference? It's a little complicated, but let's start with "volumizing" — the part where you jam your own fat into your face:

[Pat] Wexler, who opened her practice 22 years ago, gets credit as a New New Face pioneer because she intuited that volumizing was the future: injecting and filling the face with either fat from the patient’s own body, collagen, or synthetic fillers, instead of stretching the skin tight over all that sagging infrastructure.

“That’s what I call the Beetlejuice phenomenon,” she says when we meet. “You keep pulling and pulling, and your head gets smaller, and your body gets bigger as you age, and so you wind up with this little head on this big body. But we now know that you need volume to keep a face looking young. Volume means a face that goes out. And it’s all about the cheeks and the jawline.”

When I tell her that making the face bigger or “fatter” seems counterintuitive, she says, “I know, that’s why no one was doing it twenty years ago. ... I was doing lipo and I don’t like to throw anything away.”

Another doctor uses the examples of Ryan ("Meg may think she looks beautiful") and Demi Moore ("What I see with Demi is more of an operation") to relate the old and the new, though the accompanying photographic evidence of Angelina Jolie's nose filing has us nervously wondering its eventual impact on her handsome, helpless young twins. Whatever — just as long as they don't inherit Grandpa Jon's "New New Teeth," everything else is resolvable.

• The New New Face [NYM]

[Photo Credits: The Makeup Gallery]

• Hollywood sweetheart Meg Ryan gains ten stone... after donning a fat suit [Daily Mail]

Tina Fey (30 Rock), Glenn Close (Damages), America Ferrera (Ugly Betty), Julia Louis-Dreyfus (The New Adventures of Old Christine), Felicity Huffman (Desperate Housewives), Mariska Hargitay (Law and Order: SVU), Kyra Sedgewick (The Closer), Minnie Driver (The Riches), Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men) and Jeanne Tripplehorn (Big Love): these were the women who were nominated for Emmys, by-in-large playing strong, capable, well-written roles. And what's more, most of these women are, gasp, over 35.

Are there so many more available roles for women of a certain age on TV because producing a television show is that much cheaper? Are aging bodies less obvious on the small screen, and so they're more acceptable? Are Hollywood honchos just stuck believing that women don't see movies, or that men don't want to see movies with anything but eye candy? It's probably a combination of all of the above, and even though those televised, meaty roles are something to be proud of, there is not a single black actress on the short list for Best Actress Emmy (there are two Latinas: Ferrera and Eva Longoria-Parker).

I know I've said this so many times before, but there is something concrete we can do to help: go see movies made by women, or made with women in respectable roles. I'd tell you to go see something specific this weekend, but the only recent release with a plucky female protagonist is Kit Kittredge, and if you're not a Jezemom, I'm guessing that holds limited interest for you. Sigh. We clearly have a long way to go.

Warner Brothers Decides To Embrace The Women [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
Why Won't Warner Embrace The Women? [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
Warner's Robinov Bitchslaps Film Women [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
Sarah Silverman Lands In The Top 10 List Of Emmy semifinalists For Best Comedy Actress! [Gold Derby LAT]
Looks like Mary McDonnell Of 'Battlestar Galactica' And Elisabeth Moss Of 'Mad Men' Are On The Emmy Top 10 List [Gold Derby LAT]

Earlier: Ultimate Chick Flick The Women Is Finally About To See The Silver Screen

[A] sign in the restaurant noted that the jet jockey movie's "sleazy bar scene" was filmed there. ... [Fire department spokesman Maurice] Luque estimated damage at $250,000 to the structure and $150,000 to the contents, not including the cost of decades of memorabilia, including photographs and props from the film. Dozens of Navy caps and license plates hung on walls and ceilings.

Firefighters found Navy flight helmets inside the dining area - melted.

"It must've been a very intense fire," Luque said. "You can see where the fire swirled around, then just took everything out."

Of course it was intense; it had Top Gun props as fuel! (This would never happen on the set of Valkyrie.) But no inferno can ever melt our memories, made all the more vivid today by a clip of the BBQ joint's finest hour — in Italian. "Goose! Vai a letto o mi perdere!" Show us the way home, honey.

• Fire guts landmark Kansas City Barbeque [SD Union-Tribune]

We heard back in May that this was one of the titles that might seal Picturehouse's fate at WB; after it did, the studio brass's antipathy was later spun by Nikki Finke as thinly veiled institutional misogyny. An anonymous Finke source sounded a lot like English on Sunday, pegging the budget at a super-low $16 million and citing supposedly positive test screenings. Alas, the clip screened Sunday was leaden, cold and calculated in contrast to the crackling original that just preceded it; Eva Mendes is no Joan Crawford, but who is?

We asked English, who raised the budget herself after the original Ryan/Julia Roberts incarnation crashed back in the late '90s, about rumors Warners was sitting on the film and wouldn't pay to market it this August. She made a puzzled face and shook her head.

"We're going to have a proper release," she said. "They passed on our film, and they passed on Sex and the City as well. They have a particular kind of movie that they do really well, and this isn't their cup of tea necessarily. But they do understand how marketable this film is — they're not dumb, they absolutely do get that. After the success of Sex and the City, they're are currently re-looking at our marketing budget to take better care of us. ... The exception to the rule keeps happening."

Of course, The Women is obviously not Sex and the City — the clear beneficiary of a franchise following and almost unprecedented media support. Anyway, even if this isn't the chick-flick make-or-break we're being led to believe, we did learn from English that gay men are now unofficially the "fifth quadrant" of moviegoing audiences. All the easier to spread the blame in the aftermath, we suppose.

"No way. Sleepless in Seattle can go fuck itself," [Del Toro] said. "Monsters are the most beautiful creatures in the universe. I have no interest in everyday life, except through a twisted mirror."

Of course, slumping Seattle screenwriter Nora Ephron got to work straightaway, sensing an opportunity to rework her long-dormant third collaboration between Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan as the tale of a lovelorn, nocturnal minotaur and the elusive Fairy of the Dawn who fakes orgasms in his dreams. That, or Del Toro will just stick to his much cheaper, twisted-enough Ashton Kutcher/Cameron Diaz reunion entitled, naturally, Fuck Itself. Count on it.

• Guillermo Del Toro to Never Direct 'Sleepless in Seattle' Sequel? [/Film]

I can't help but wonder how Diaz et. al. got pigeon-holed into these cutesy roles in the first place. It seems that most of the roles for women — ten years ago, as now — are designed for nonthreatening cyphers. Of course, one way to break out of the adorabox is to take on an "edgy" role. Kristin Chenoweth, who made her name playing fairy tale characters, has signed on to play a hooker in the forthcoming film Into Temptation. And not just a regular, garden variety hooker. A suicidal hooker. Clearly all Cameron Diaz needs to do to solidify her Hollywood longevity is find a nice heroin-addicted streetwalker role and she'll be all set.

When The Box Office Fire Cools, What Are Actresses Like Gwyneth Paltrow And Cameron Diaz To Do? [Los Angeles Times]
Kristin Chenoweth Lured To "Temptation" [Reuters]

Meg Ryan appeared on the special issue's third cover, following Jodie Foster and Cindy Crawford, in 1994. Happily married to Dennis Quaid and still enjoying that whole America's Sweetheart phase, Ryan was a natural choice. But as we all know, five years later Ryan entered an affair with Proof Of Life co-star Russell Crowe, which led to divorce, trout pout and making dirty movies. Oops. As for Mel Gibson, People's 1996 cover star, beauty gradually descended into bigotry and all kinds of sugar tit-laden anti-Semitic madness we just don't even feel like discussing in detail at the moment.

The very next year, none other than Tom Cruise and his uber-serious mug graced the cover. Officially adored by the world after appearing in Jerry Maguire the year before, Cruise was still married to Nicole and every woman in the country felt that Cruise truly "completed" them. But after hiring a divorce lawyer, a beard (in the form of Penelope Cruz), and a new wife, Cruise's beauty is now only recognized by those with OT-V clearance and above. And finally, 2004's issue featured a blissfully married Jennifer Aniston, who sadly spent most of her interview "laugh[ing] off speculation of then-husband Brad Pitt's rumored romance with Mr. & Mrs. Smith costar Angelina Jolie." Again, oops.

[Photo credits: People.com]

• KATE HUDSON IS PEOPLE'S MOST BEAUTIFUL COVER GIRL [People]

boomp3.com

Over lunch with a friend, Meg Ryan explained why she made the switch from Head & Shoulders shampoo to Selsun Blue. Ryan was simply tired of all the scratching and all of that white stuff on her shoulders. Ryan complained that none of the products various hair stylists worked and only made things worse. "I just zipped into Rite Aid and boom, my hair feels so much healthier," Ryan said.

[Photo Credit: X17]

5. Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett: After only three weeks of courtship following their first meeting on the set of The Player, the crooner managed to tie the knot with the Pretty Woman. But all the flack Julia received for falling in the sack with such an odd-looking, unknown duck wasn't the least bit worth it; their 1993 wedding turned into a 1995 separation, leaving Jules looking just this side of desperate.

4. Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn: Speaking of desperate, the weeklies' favorite pity princess was still grieving or whatever over the loss of Brad to Angelina, and her are-they-or-aren't-they "relationship" with Vince Vaughn on the set of The Breakup just made her look even more pity-worthy after Vaughn's repetitive, close-to-insulting denials to the press.

3. Angelina Jolie and Billy-Bob Thornton: Embarrassing enough as it is to get dumped by someone like Billy Bob, it was his alleged reasoning that made this breakup particularly gruesome. According to countless reports, Thornton just didn't feel like being a dad to Angie's little bundle of joy Maddox. However, the outcome (Chosen One! Brad Pitt!) was hardly anything to frown about.

2. Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck: Gigli. We're sorry, that's really all there is to say.

1. Meg Ryan and Russell Crowe: Talk about losing a rock solid reputation; America's sweetheart, married to a classic hunk (with a cute kid to boot!), ran off with the (then) Australian lothario while filming Proof Of Life in 2000. The results? Out with the marriage and the good girl cred, on with the racy movies and trout pout. Disaster.

• TOP 25 HOTTEST ON-SET HOOKUPS [AOL Movies]

In today's jam-packed episode: Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart; Steven Spielberg, Heather Locklear, Kobe Bryant, and Andy Garcia; Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli; Meg Ryan, Matthew Perry and Kevin Pollak; Dennis Hopper and Adrian Grenier; Melanie Griffith; Emmanuelle Chriqui; Seal and Heidi Klum; Janeane Garofalo; Sean "Puffy" Combs, Dennis Haysbert, Michael Rapaport, and Tom Arnold; Cheryl Tiegs; Andy Samberg, Maya Rudolph, and Rivers Cuomo; Dominic Monaghan; Rufus Sewell and Mary-Kate Olsen; Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight, and Josh Kelley; John Waters; Eddie Izzard; Adam Scott; Jamie Gertz; Peter Bogdanovich; Fisher Stevens; Peter Guber; Brian Posehn; and Gloria Allred.

· Nov. 12 - Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford having lunch with mom at Panini Cafe in Newport Beach near the John Wayne airport. Ultra-casual dress and Calista has a severe case of bed head. Perhaps just got off of a flight?

· ridiculous week...

wednesday, 11/7, saw steven spielberg, heather locklear, kobe bryant, and andy garcia at the hannah montana concert (staples center) - yeah, they were all with their kids. later that night pretty sure i saw nora zehetner at the architecture in helsinki show at the troubador!

tuesday, 11/8, ran into jennie garth and peter facinelli at the 'kraft-a-palooza' (!!!) cheetah girls show at the house of blues.

· 11/10 Saturday at the Swell Season show at the Wiltern: A special section was roped off just for the celebs... looked more like a velvet rope cage in the middle of the floor that all the plebes had to walk around to get out, giving maximum exposure to matthew perry chatting up kevin pollak while meg ryan and her duck lips stared off into oblivion. we all commented that we wished she was still the "you've got mail" version of herself. rumor has it jenna fisher was also there but i didn't see her. weird crowd, amazing show.

· Nov 6 - 2 Studly Bohunks Swanking It Up at the AFI Fest at the Arclight....and that would be Dennis Hopper, pacing about like a jolly mad professor, and Adrian Grenier, tall as the dickens, just every bit as charming as you'd imagine ole Vinnie Chase to be. Both mirthful, both indicative of Greater Star Wattage to Come; but guess what? It never came.

· So I went to Cabo for a wedding this past weekend. On the flight down, Melanie Griffith was seated in first class acting and being treated as if she's turned in a great performance since Working Girl (1988 kids!) She looks like she's been dragged behind a horse one too many times.

In marked contrast was Emmanuelle Chriqui on the return flight. She stood in line like a normal person, smiled and chatted with fellow passengers, waited for her own bags and generally gave off a "really sweet person" vibe. I half expected her to jump on the Lot C bus to get her car!

· 11/4 - This one's a bit late. Seal and Heidi Klum stopping by my Starbucks in Beverly Hills most Sundays is old news, but this time they brought their two older kids. Cutest. Family. Ever. The little girl was very sociable saying hi to people, and the boy had to touch everything — he even tried to take off with an old man's dog. Cutest. Family. Ever.

· 11/9 - After catching a show at UCB Friday night, I caught Janeane Garofalo (who practically stole the show with her recounting of sex with a sweet but slow-witted fireman) exiting with Matthew 'Yeah, It's Retired Must See TV Me, Please Look Away' Perry and an unidentified yet somewhat cute nerd in tow.

· Odd batch of celebrity sightings for this East Coaster...

Monday, Nov. 5 - Cheryl Tiegs at Urth Cafe on Melrose
Tuesday, Nov. 6 - At Wolfgang Puck's CUT at the Reg Bev Wil - Dennis Haysbert, Sean "Puffy" Combs (and entourage of 20 or so sloppily dressed hangers-on), Michael Rapaport, Dog, the Bounty Hunter and his wife Beth, and Tom Arnold in jeans, a green shirt and cap.

Good times indeed!

· Sat Nov 10 - While sitting during the intermission at the Joanna Newsom concert, stewing in my own pseudo-hippy heaven, I got up to allow some people into my row. They were SNL's Andy Samberg and Maya Rudolph. He is an attractive hobbit; disappointed because he looks so tall on TV. She was beautiful and had a really cute sweater on and a few minutes later another guy joined them and my friend wondered when the Rivers Cuomo look was going to fade...but I think it might have actually been Rivers Cuomo.
It was an amazing show, by the way.

· Saturday 10 November, around 5ish - Dominic Monaghan at Amoeba, dressed like an adorable little Unabomer.

· While sitting in the nose bleed section last night at the Spoon/Feist concert (Nov. 12) in the Universal Gibson Theater, caught Rufus Sewell ambling his way up and down the aisle. Then some random guy, thanks again Adam, gave my friend and I two orchestra tickets he couldn't sell because we looked cool. We moved to the awesome new seats, close enough to see Feist's catbag! The only snag of the night was having to tell Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen (honestly, I don't know which one, I guess the really blonde one) to put out her cigarette. She complied for about 20 minutes then asked for permission to light another one. I relented only because I knew that the couples in front of me would object, which they did, vehemently. Despite being a smurf, she was, much to my surprise, normal body size (or maybe I've been in LA too long), though I suspect that illusion was created by boho chic layers.

· saw Katherine Heigl dining with an older woman (her mother?) at Figaro in Los Feliz Friday night (11/9). I would have yelled, "Hey, Katherine Hi-jel! It's i before e except after c," but I didn't want to cause a ruckus at my favorite restaurant. Another tip for Katherine: If you would prefer that civilians not notice you, don't eat outside facing the street on the busiest block in the neighborhood looking so gorgeous that you GLOW.

· I saw Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight, Josh Kelley, and some fourth guy (whom I didn't recognize) at 7:30 am at the Rose Bowl swap meet. Heigl was wearing a baggy grey sweatshirt, baggy jeans, a baseball cap, and glasses (not sunglasses). She looked really skinny. The men looked pretty normal. Heigl was looking at some awful threadbare reddish sofa, but I walked off too soon to see if she bought it.

· Director John Waters yesterday (11/8/7) shortly after noon at the baggage carousel for AA #1 in from New York. He was reportedly talking non-stop on cell from the time the plane landed. He was wearing low-top sneakers, rather faded red pants and a plaid shirt. His chauffeur stood by as he paced back and forth looking for his luggage. Coincidence? The in-flight movie was "Hair Spray."

· 11-7—-
Last night after crossing the picket lines here at Disney after getting my pink slip, I went to the Rock-n-Roll Ralphs on Sunset and Eddie Izzard walked in, very serious and in his THE RICHES swag sweat shirt that he was spotted on the picket line wearing. He's so hot yet short in person. Love the man!!!

· Nov 10 Just saw Adam Scott from TELL ME YOU LOVE ME at the Apple Store at the Grove. He was pushing a stroller and had a huge grin on his face, so it's nice to know he doesn't share Palek's views on parenting. He's really adorable but I couldn't look at him without thinking "stunt ejaculation" and laughing, so I quickly turned the other way.

· Nov 12 - Saw Jamie Gertz at Sherman Oaks Castle hosting a kids birthday. I did not realize she is turning into Teri Hatcher! Overheard Jamie say, "I worked out this morning, so I can have something" as she eyed a pizza.

· AFI Fest, Arclight, Friday night, November 2. Was exiting the ladies room when I noticed a somewhat fish-faced, bespectacled older gentleman pass me in the hallway. I frantically wracked my brain, thinking "I know who that is..." when the ascot hit me! Peter Bogdanovich! Looking somewhat like an older, saggier version of Huckleberry Hound. He walked into the Q&A of our movie, "Margot at the Wedding" and took a seat. Why, I'm not sure.

· Nov 8 - bizarre one — fisher stevens hanging out by the brentwood country mart, having clearly just got out of yoga, sweating and swinging his mat around in a heated conversation.

· Thursday night (11/8) at La Scala, spotted telegenic mogul Peter Guber having dinner with a similarly-aged gentleman I couldn't identify (since his back was to me). Guber looked pretty relaxed, probably because that remake of The Birds he's producing doesn't require an actual script.

· The food-court at the century City mall was taken over by WGA Strikers today (Nov 9). Through the mayhem I had a sighting of Sarah Silverman's dungeons and dragons, heavy metal loving, gay neighbor from the "The Sarah Silverman Program", Brian Posehn. He was chowing down on a fuddrucker's burger (I'm guessing Jay Leno did not stop by with some snacks...) and chatting with some Writer Strikers. He was decked out in a red comic book t-shirt showing he is obviously down with the cause. I hope this strike ends soon so I don't have to wait in the Panda Express line for a 1/2 hour on my lunch break.

· spotted Gloria Allred in Von's Market, Sunset Blvd. and PCH last Saturday night 11/2. It was about 10:30 PM and even though she was the only customer in the store besides myself, she was wearing huge dark sunglasses as if trying not to be noticed. Every time I see her on television she seems to be looking for attention. She was grabbing herself a roasted chicken. YAWN!