'Maxim' Editors Suddenly Have 'Crush' On Sarah Jessica Parker, Their Former Pick For 'Unsexiest Broad Alive'

Molly Friedman — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 17:40:33 EDT

Was Sarah Jessica Parker’s mole removal so effective in the sexiness department that the simple laser treatment managed to majorly tighten the trousers of all those T&A experts at Maxim? As we noted this week, SJP found herself caught up in a mystery-laden MoleGate, in which her immortal beauty mark suddenly disappeared. Some (guilty as charged) played the optimist by suggesting the once-highly noticeable imperfection had simply been disguised by some genius makeup artist — but just one day later, her rep confirmed that the SATC star did go under the laser simply because "she was in the mood."

And coincidentally (?) the lads at Maxim have backpedaled on their brutal Rex Reed-like criticism of Parker last winter, when they crowned her the Unsexiest Woman Alive.

In a rather pathetic effort to make amends, the August issue tries to make up for the bullying piece with a shiny new judgment of Parker's appearance. Too bad it’s just a brilliant use of semantics, twisting the same exact insult into a more flowery-sounding version of its original assessment: "This Barbaro-faced broad [needs to] pull her skirt down, Secretariat, we'd rather ride Chris Noth." (Um, we hear Details is hiring?)

To which SJP memorably respondedat the time: "Do I fit some ideals and standards of some men writing in a men's magazine? Maybe not. Am I really the unsexiest women in the world? Wow! It's kind of shocking... It's condemnation, it's insane. What can I do?"

Well, SJP? Apparently, get that mole removed and, voila! You're now the magazine's "Unexpected Crush." Congratulations! We think! Sort of!

LATE AMENDS [NYP]

Maxim, Entertainment Weekly Agree: Jews, Blacks, Asians Not So "Sexy"

Jessica — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 12:30:00 EDT

Collagen-and-silicone championing Maxim magazine has just named the world's five unsexiest women alive and according to the boy-mag brain trusts, the two most unfortunate looking ladies around are Sarah Jessica Parker and Amy Winehouse. Aside from shockingly-low BMIs, what do these women have in common? That's right, pronounced noses and Jewish heritage! (Although Parker is only a four-candler.) But Maxim isn't the only mass-market magazine with seemingly anti-ethnic standards of beauty: Entertainment Weekly just released its list of Ultimate Female Hotties and there's nary a chosen person to be seen (save bleach-blond halfsie Scarlett Johansson ). Not only that, but the magazine's list doesn't feature a single black or Asian woman.

In fact, of EW's twenty-five "Ultimate Hotties," the only ethnic ones are Latina: Half-Bolivian Raquel Welch, Mexican Salma Hayek, half-Mexican Jessica Alba, and half-Spanish Rita Hayworth. What about Rachel Weisz? Angela Bassett? Lucy Liu? Or, really, anyone who doesn't inspire girls to ask for nose jobs, $300 highlights or eyelid-surgery for their sweet sixteens?

Sarah Jessica Parker named world's unsexiest woman [Sydney Morning Herald]
Ultimate Female Hotties: Pick the All-Time No. 1 [Entertainment Weekly]

Gawker: defamer, maxim

'Maxim' Editors Suddenly Have 'Crush' On Sarah Jessica Parker, Their Former Pick For 'Unsexiest Broad Alive'

Maxim, Entertainment Weekly Agree: Jews, Blacks, Asians Not So "Sexy"