According to the source, the perpetually-dazed Parker snatched 25-year old Mars away from his girlfriend, Lindsey Brown, a journalist for local Mississippi station WTOK. And now Parker, who was left by baby daddy Billy Crudup, should wear a sign warning the world of her evil bitchery: The email, in its unedited glory:

Readers may find it interesting that actress Mary Louise Parker who was dumped late in her pregnancy five years ago went on to rip apart the three year relationship of her new boyfriend Charlie Mars and his then 25 year old Mississippi girlfriend.

Early June Mars was still in a relationship with news anchor Lindsey Brown who is a journalist in Meridian Mississippi. Mars and Brown met while Brown was finishing up college at the University of Mississippi. It was Brown who helped Mars move through his substance/drug abuse problems he has battled for the last decade.

You would think a woman who suffered so greatly at the hands of a man would work to make sure other women aren't betrayed the same way...

The note ends with "ladies beware, cougars have no shame," which leads us to believe there's an inter-generational war brewing. And we're putting out money on the cougars — those girls have been around and no doubt have some tricks up their sleeves.

After the jump: Why is Gus Van Sant about to drop gobs of acid?!

· Jennifer Lopez has signed a two-year deal with Universal Media Studios, which will develop "a wide variety of Jennifer Lopez-related TV projects" for the studio. [Variety]
· Milk writer/director team of Gus Van Sant and Dustin Lance Black will re-pair for an adaptation of the The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, hopefully to feature Emile Hirsch as an LSD-induced, gayfro'd gnome in Ken Kesey's imagination. [THR]

Proving that truly great actors don't even need lines to turn you into a laughing-while-weeping mess, our Celia found herself sharing a cell with the makeover-happy Chita, who decided to make Celia "her special girl." Meaning, use her as a voodoo doll dressed in the kind of clothing we see gathering dust in our grandmother's attic and wearing rouge so red we're in pain just imagining Perkins scrubbing it off after shooting. But as much as we enjoyed our trippy half hour with the knee-deep-in-shit Weeds-ers, we're slightly apprehensive about next week's episode's theme: euthanasia. Getting high off your TV set is sort of interesting, but we have yet to ponder the delights of assisted suicide.

• WEEDS [Showtime]

To summarize, the town of Agrestic is burning. Relocation means somehow entering Andy’s mother’s old house equipped with a barking doorbell, the charm of which is entirely lost on the Botwins and their smiling-through-gritted-teeth realization that an imaginary attack dog has been freaking them out for years. Though the presence of the dead grandmother is revealed eerily by little public masturbator Shane, our favorite moment occurs when Nancy, the epitome of how a jaded suburban adulthood spent in Southern California renders the smart ones barely conscious, lists the 10-year old Rad’s many accomplishments: “He’s read the whole Narnia series, and now he’s moved on to His Dark Materials which he likes, his favorite dragon is the komodo dragon and he thinks dodgeball is gay.” Dibs on Rad ten years from now.

• 'WEEDS' SETS SHOWTIME RATINGS RECORD [THR]
• WEEDS [Showtime]

And what's an episode of Martha without at least one cringe-worthy celebrity interview moment, such as today's exchange with Jeffrey Dean Morgan, the Weeds and Grey's Anatomy actor who's cornered the market on puppy-eyed, dying and/or deceased love interests to TV's stouthearted anti-heroines. Pressing him for details about "fancy shmancy girlfriend" Mary-Louise Parker, Stewart mistakenly assumes Morgan is the mother of Parker's two children, then presses him to label the parameters of their relationship—which Morgan quickly deflects by reminding her of "the incident." Surely, if Martha had intentionally meant to slice the actress's supple flesh, she could have just as easily butchered Parker into a variety of delicious cuts of meat faster than you could say, "Trump Steaks."

• The Martha Stewart Show