15. Russian Glamour, June 2009
Beyoncé's skin looked digitally darkened on the cover of Russian Glamour — and the editors had a guide! A magazine called Joy used the same shot in December 2007. Was something lost in translation? Save your "black Russian" jokes until the end.

14. L'Oreal, August 2008
Beyoncé's skin seemed very light in ads for Feria haircolor. One theory: she was washed out by the strong lighting usually used in shooting hair.

13. Vogue, November 2009
The cast of Nine is chock-full of gorgeous women, but this shot is a mindscramble of random rays of sunlight in hair and dresses with edges so sharp they look like they're for paper dolls. As I wrote in October: "I'm guessing [Annie] Leibovitz shot them each separately and then did a composite, but when you have a person who doesn't cast a shadow on the lady next to her, then that person is a vampire." Poor Kate Hudson looks like she was slapped on as an afterthought.

12. Complex, April/May 2009
Kim Kardashian's waist was cinched, her thighs were slimmed, her skin skin smoothed out and her hairline was cleaned up. Plus, her head appears to be a different shape in the "after" image. Who would have thought a skull could be made "sexier"?

11. Self, September 2009
Kelly Clarkson's "Total Body Confidence" came from digitally slimming her waist and behind. Two Self editors explained that the cover: "is not, as in a news photograph, journalism. It is, however, meant to inspire women to want to be their best."

10. King Arthur poster, 2004
Movie marketers felt they must, they must, they must increase the bust. Ironically, Keira Knightley told the Guardian that she lost her chest, doing archery and preparing for the role:

To fight, convincingly, shoulder to shoulder, she had to do that thing that is so de rigueur, which is totally to change your body shape. "I was about three times the size I am now. It worried me, but it was cool, it was a body that was doing what it should do. I haven't got a clue because I don't weigh myself, but it was all muscle and I was big. My neck disappeared. My chest flattened even more. It wasn't the most feminine thing in the world, but it worked for the part, because there was strength there, and it was needed."

Of course, Hollywood can't imagine a world in which people would see a movie starring an athletic, flat-chested woman. So a digital boob job followed.

9. Redbook, July 2007
The crazy thing about the Faith Hill Redbook cover is not that it was Photoshopped — it's that this is the standard amount of digital altering that goes into a cover. Unlike some true Photoshop disasters, there are no alarming mistakes here to tip you off. That makes it easy to accept the retouched image without even blinking. Faith Hill is a beautiful woman. But she needed 11 different kinds of alterations before she could be on the cover of Redbook. What a world.

8. Campari calendar, 2008
Jessica Alba: Just another woman whose real body wasn't good enough. In this case, her waist needed to be nipped in so she could shill liquor.

7. Vogue, May 2008
RoboGwyneth looks like a robot, or an alien, depending on whom you ask. One thing is for sure: Her head and neck are not in the same space-time continuum.

6. Redbook, June 2003
Jennifer Aniston's head was placed on to Jennifer Aniston's body — from another photo shoot. At the time, her publicist, Steven Huvane, said: "It's a combination of three pictures. If you're going to do it, then at least match her head up to her body, and make the neck look like it belongs to her. I still can't figure out which exact picture the face came from." A Redbook spokeswoman downplayed the changes: "The only things that were altered in the cover photo were the color of her shirt and the length of her hair, very slightly, in order to reflect her current length."

The neck does look alarmingly unreal, and her head and waist are out of sync somehow. Angelina is surely to blame.

5.Redbook, July 2003
The month after the Aniston debacle, Redbook was at it again: According to USA Today, "[Julia's] head comes from a paparazzi shot taken at the 2002 People's Choice awards. Her body, meanwhile, is from the Notting Hill movie premiere [in 1999]." Julia's publicist, Marcy Engelman, said, at the time: "It's a shame they didn't use the body that went with the head, because it was a great Giorgio Armani pantsuit (that she wore to the People's Choice awards)."

4. Newsweek, March 2005
The editors used Martha's head and a model's body, because Ms. Stewart was still in jail when the issue was being put together. It wasn't supposed to be a photograph, anyway, it was art: "The piece that we commissioned was intended to show Martha as she would be, not necessarily as she is,'' Lynn Staley, assistant managing editor at Newsweek, told The New York Times. Staley acknowledged that the cover carried a disclaimer: ''In this case, we identified this piece as a photo illustration." As Martha would say, it's a "good thing" you did.

3. Seventeen, May 2003
Think about all the Buffy plots which could have been orchestrated around Sarah Michelle Gellar's weird wrist appendage over there on the left, if her arm actually looked like that.

2. GQ, February 2003.
Some people saw Titanic over and over again — but they never saw those legs, on the left. Kate Winslet was pissed about being trimmed down on this cover, saying:

"The retouching is excessive. I do not look like that and more importantly I don't desire to look like that. I actually have a Polaroid that the photographer gave me on the day of the shoot… I can tell you they've reduced the size of my legs by about a third. For my money it looks pretty good the way it was taken."

1. Ralph Lauren Blue Label ad, October 2009
In which model Filippa Hamilton was turned into a string of spaghetti.

Earlier: Oprah's Favorite Things 2007: The Audience Freaks Out!

We were actually kind of stunned to read that Ruby Dee, an Oscar nominee this year for American Gangster, was not yet a member; other invited actors include Josh Brolin, Allison Janney and Ray Winstone. Directors Gore Verbinski, Kimberly Peirce and Walter Salles received nods alongside '07 Oscar screenwriting alums Tamara Jenkins (The Savages) and Nancy Oliver (Lars and the Real Girl). Variety notes that the invitations are merely that, and that official inductions for those who accept (most do, though some decline, forget to reply in time or, on rare occasions, accidentally throw the letter out with the Crate and Barrel catalog) will follow upon acceptance.

Congratulations to the invitees, and may the traditional Bruce Vilanch Inductee Roast be painless for all!

• AMPAS invites 105 to join its ranks [Variety]

Triste news for Page, but for Cody, the timing couldn't be better — the studied oddness of it all is a fortunate (if accidental) response to the gauntlet thrown by Daniel Waters earlier today, no?

• View "Cafe Triste," an exclusive, deleted scene from Juno [Amazon.com]

• You Rock My Life Marion [LAist]

Bastien Duval, the actress' agent, told the Times of London: "She doesn't have to apologise for a badly presented and badly interpreted reportage." That's particularly absurd, because neither Cotillard nor her reps have denied the substance of the quotes, and they are sufficiently long and complete to make them hard to take out of context.

Cotillard's rep also hinted, amazingly, that yet another conspiracy might be involved. "She is in an ocean of happiness and voila, this row blows up. It's rather strange. It's an old report, not at all current. Why bring it out now?" (Must be the Jews. Or maybe that English witch, Julie Christie, who'd so wanted the Best Actress award, which Cotillard took for her role in La Vie En Rose.)

And the best line of all, a mixture of condescension to those Americans still emotional about the destruction of the Twin Towers, and arrogance about demand elsewhere for Cotillard's acting talents. "She hopes that the Americans will have enough distance to understand, but her career is not just American. She can make films everywhere." That's fortunate because, at the rate her Oscars glow is fading, Cotillard will be hard to employ in the US.

· As we mentioned on our way out the door Friday, Saturday Night Lez Ellen Page is indeed dropping out of Sam Raimi's Drag Me to Hell due to "scheduling conflicts," the "exhaustion" equivalent of the script-hating realm. [Variety]
· High School Musical: The Reality Show is being developed for ABC, where youg contestants will be judged on such categories as singing, dancing, and their ability to bounce back from internet nudie photo scandals. [Variety]
· Ed Asner will play Paul Dano's "pot-smoking, gangsta rap-loving father" in Gigantic, in the hopes of nabbing a 2009 Honorary Alan Arkin Oscar for Outstanding Achievement Playing Lovably Outrageous Grandpa. [THR]

Elton John 16th Annual AIDS Foundation Oscar Party:

Elton John coddled Best Actress winner Marion Cotillard, while model Petra Nemcova and Sean Penn canoodled all night as the newest couple in Hollywood making their big debut on Oscar night.

Harrison Ford (victim of perhaps Jon Stewart's worst joke of the evening) arrived with the (finally) well-dressed Calista Flockhart; Courtney Love managed to clean up her act; Seal turned the cameras on the cameramen.

Kate Beckinsale proved having kids does not a schlumpy mom make; Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres continued their Lesbians Are Cool, Just Deal With It Tour; Jeremy Piven took a break from his yoga pursuits to swing by The Rocket Man's shindig.

Other guests included:
Simon Cowell, Sharon Stone, Diddy, Minnie Driver, Heidi Klum, JC Chasez, Chace Crawford, Len Wiseman, Al Roker, Billy Joel, Chris Noth, Chris O'Donnell, Christian Slater, Faye Dunaway, Tara Reid and Zoe Saldana.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images and Wire Image]

Cate Blanchett: Blanchett always stands out (in a good way) when she takes risks and chooses a ballsy costume-y gown in a striking color. Like this voluminous dress she wore doing press for Elizabeth: The Golden Age, which could have come straight out of one of Christian's collections on this season's Project Runway, as opposed to her tendency to pick mannish silhouettes in dreary taupes that wash her out.

Laura Linney: Linney just doesn't look right all femme-d out. With her blonde hair and ginormous grin, it's too Kentucky Derby. What catches our eye is when she takes the femme fatale look up a notch, going for old Hollywood glamour.

Marion Cotillard: Heavy makeup and baggy dresses don't work to Cotillard's advantage; she should stick to that whole sexy French woman thing, and let the silky hair down.

Julie Christie: Like Diane Keaton, Christie is one of those rare actresses who's feminine enough to make a pair of trousers look sexy. When she dips into the girly pool, the effect is a little too Tina Simpson.

Ellen Page: Sure, Ellen's still growing into her style and hasn't quite figured out how to pose, but we can all agree that the Juno star could benefit from dressing up. Those jeans and flannels are straight out of the movie, and she's got a figure to show off in real life.

• OSCARS [Offical Site]

THE INSIDER has confirmed that actress Sean Young voluntarily admitted herself yesterday to a rehabilitation center for treatment related to alcoholism. It is understood that Young has struggled against the disease for many years.

Our hearts are with the troubled actress, who'll spend the next long weeks battling her 40-proof demons, and their imprudent suggestions that she fill in for an absent orchestra swell with drunken outbursts whenever awards show speeches threaten to run too long. We'll leave her to her healing, including the composition of a fearless and searching moral inventory that will most likely include the entry, "And I really should never have called Marion Cotillard a 'pute sans talent avec une vilaine bouche comme celle d'une grenouille.' That was just petty."

• Sean Young Enters Rehab [TheInsiderOnline]

· Four out of five of Oscar's Best Picture contenders experienced a box office bump following last Tuesday's announcement of the nominations; of the Academy's newly anointed, only Atonement took in less money than the previous weekend, perhaps suggesting that naughty Keira Knightley fans had already ponied up their $12 to steal a look at her partially slip-obscured goodies. [Variety]
· NBC sues Law & Order executive producer Dick Wolf, asking a court to help them figure out much money the company must cough up if they decide to cancel any of his fifteen L&O permutations. [Variety]
· Sony Pictures Classics buys the rights to Sundance's The Wackness, more commonly known as The One Where An Olsen Twin And Sir Ben Kingsley Make Out. [Variety]