Gawker: defamer, marie osmond

Oprah: 25 Years Of Screaming Celebrities' Names

Tracie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:00:00 EST

Television will never be the same after Oprah goes off the air in 2011. If we had a "Favorite Things" list about O, in the top spot would be the way the talk-show host introduces celebrity guests. Mashup at left.

Earlier: Oprah's Favorite Things 2007: The Audience Freaks Out!

NBC Greenlights Second Season Of Just-Successful-Enough 'Celeb Apprentice'

Mark — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:20:54 EST

· Encouraged by the good-enough numbers generated by viewers lured to Celebrity Apprentice by the depressing lack of programming alternatives, NBC greenlights a second season of Donald Trump's salvaged franchise. Calls are already flooding in from other lesser-Baldwins, starving reality-show alumni, and aging supermodels hoping to fill out the next installment's roster of semi-recognizable names. [Variety]
· Though Fox, powered by American Idol and The Moment of Truth, is rolling along during a strike-affected early 2008, this week the top five broadcasters are down 21% in the 18-49 demographic compared to the same period from last year. [Variety]

· As long as we're on the topic of Fox's recent Nielsen domination, Idol and a new episode of House induced the customary morning-after bouts of despair in the network's floundering rivals. [THR]
· Marie Osmond, America's Mysteriously Fainting, Misfortune-Plagued Dancing with the Stars Darling, is looking to return to daytime TV. [THR]
· Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and unfamous friend Sean Bailey disband LivePlanet the multimedia company that once produce our beloved Project Greenlight. Gulager! [Variety]

Third-Place Finisher Marie Osmond Deprives 'Dancing' Audience Of Much-Anticipated Emotional Meltdown

Mark — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 17:50:01 EST

Truth be told, we can't be made to care about who took home the Golden Tap Shoes—by far the most coveted of all the celebrity-based reality TV talent competition trophies—on last night's Dancing with the Stars finale, even after discovering that the heady rush of victory was so overwhelming that the show's new champion was moved to drop his fiancée like she was a tango partner who caught fire in the middle of a dip. The only reason we even bothered to tune in to the fifteen-hour coronation ceremony was to check in on Marie Osmond, America's Emotionally Fragile Sweetheart, whom we weren't sure would survive the defeat her now-legendary Baby Doll Dance of Despair made all but inevitable.

Thankfully, Osmond did somehow find the inner strength to weather this crushing disappointment, at least temporarily; as you can hear for yourself in the above clip, she made it through her brief concession speech without a meltdown. However, once the reality of her third-place finish finally sank in, she unexpectedly returned to the set with the giant key used to wind her up during her ill-received doll performance, nearly bludgeoning judge Bruno Tonioli to death with the prop for the perceived role his tragically sassy comment about her looking like a cross between "Baby Jane and the bride of Chucky" played in destroying her dreams.

Dancing with the Stars [ABC.com]
Previously: Marie Osmond's Baby Doll Dance Of Despair [Defamer]

Marie Osmond's Baby Doll Dance Of Despair

Mark — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 13:35:06 EST

Before you pass an unfavorable judgment on Marie Osmond's bizarre performance on Monday night's Dancing with the Stars finale, please remember that she's going through an extremely difficult stretch in her life right now, catty accusations of being an attention-craving drama queen nothwithstanding. After surviving a terrifying fainting spell on live TV, a son being sent off to rehab, and the loss of the Osmond family patriarch, we really can't blame her for succumbing to to the enormous pressure of making the finals by engaging in an act of self-sabotage in donning that ill-considered baby doll costume and flailing limply through "Start Me Up."

All things considered, we're relieved that last night's dance wasn't an even more dramatic reflection of the turbulence in Osmond's personal life; things would seem even bleaker this morning had she chosen a different Stones tune as her farewell number, dumping a can of inky Benjamin Moore over her head before writhing on the judge's table for the duration of "Paint It Black," leaving her devastated partner with nothing to do but watch while their fleeting championship hopes dissolved into a sticky, ebony pool of despair.

Dancing with the Stars [ABC.com]
Richard Simmons Brings Whispered Affirmations, Sassy Pom Poms To 'Dancing With The Stars' [Defamer]

Bootlegged Trailers, Maligned Softballers, and Virtual Surgery

Mark — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 21:12:08 EST

· We know that you've already been tantalized by a Cloverfield trailer of barely watchable quality, so here's a better one that should induce about 50 percent fewer seizures. Your neurologist can thank us later. [via Vulture]
· Donnie Osmond apologizes to Larry King for doubting the host's motives in actually asking his sister a tough question she may not have been ready for.
· Where in the world is Paris Hilton? (Hint: it's still not Rwanda.)
· Radar does some work on Owen Wilson's face, taking all of the character out of his most instantly recognizable feature. (And they didn't spare the scalpel for Darjeeling co-star Adrien Brody, either.)

If you're anything like us, you find yourself...

Seth — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 17:25:55 EST

If you're anything like us, you find yourself drifting off in the middle of conversations wondering how Marie Osmond's 16-year-old son is doing. The answer: Not great. ET, who this year purchased the underlying rights to Marie's soul, helpfully mass -emailed the following plea for privacy just moments ago: "My son Michael is an amazing young man shown through his courage in facing his issues. As his mother I couldn't be more proud of him. The press and public has always been kind and gracious in the past and I know they will continue to respect our privacy during this time." [ETOnline]

George Osmond, father of Donny, Marie, Liesl,...

Seth — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 15:00:43 EST

George Osmond, father of Donny, Marie, Liesl, Friedrick, Louisa, Kurt, Marta, and Gretl, has sadly passed away this morning at the age of 90. The family's official website doesn't yet have anything posted, but if you have even a passing interest in Mormon psychedelia, we highly recommend a visit anyway. [Fox News, osmond.com]

Dropping Marie Osmond: Family And Friends React To The Fainting Spell That Shook The World

Seth — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 14:25:06 EDT

The Z-List celebrity dance competition world was thrown for a loop yesterday when Marie Osmond collapsed on live TV following a performance on Dancing with the Stars: It was a shocking turn of events that elicited gasps from the audience, if not a few snickers of derision from overzealous competitors, at least one of whom was overheard to have said, "Geez, my mother died and yet I still managed to keep it together. Looks like the pressure's finally getting to someone. Team Seymour!" A round-up:
· Marie describes what it feels like to survive a post-Samba, nowhere-near-death experience: "I wasn't quite sure what was going on and then I saw everybody. I saw my kids, I saw TOM [BERGERON] and I think I said, 'Oh, crap!'" [ETOnline]
· Brother Donny helpfully speculates on some of the external factors that might have contributed to Marie's loss-of-consciousness! Health scare! Tragedy!: "Marie is touring, she has 8 children and went through a divorce." If we had 8 sets of crushed eyes staring down at us after falling off the reality TV gravy-train, we might say, "Oh, crap" too. [ETOnline]

· Marie's partner Jonathan Roberts knew something was wrong halfway through the performance, as Osmond's breath was catching, she was missing steps, and she never once whispered, "C'mon, let's bring that big, shiny disco ball home for mama. Waddaya say, Jonny m'boy?!" into his ear during the performance. [ExtraTV]
· "She's OK, she just doesn't breathe," says Osmond's publicist, just one vital human function off from the, "She's OK, she just doesn't eat" statement the flack typically issues on behalf of younger starlet clients. [accesshollywood.com]