Strange as that may sound, though, that isn't the really odd part: He'll only be in one scene, and he'll essentially be the only one in it.

Why? Well, duh! My spies tell me that no one in the cast wanted to work opposite him again after he brought production to a standstill by pulling a no-show without even calling in (cough, cough) sick. What's more, Minds' producers were forced to use a special crew to shoot the pariah's scene because the show's regular staff refused to be on set with him.

"Pariah" seems like a harsh assessment and a ceremonial walkout by the crew a cold kiss-off, but we won't pretend to know how painful it was for his TV family to realize that their star never intended to return after ditching that fateful table read. Still, their poignant absence is a classier and more professional way to say goodbye than turning up to work only to ruin every take by coughing Asshole! and Quitter! into their fists each time Patinkin opens his mouth to deliver his dialogue.

• Exclusive: Mandy Patinkin Returns to Criminal Minds! [TVGuide.com]

"When he approached us and said, 'I want to be released,' and we talked about it internally, we realized that this was the moment in time where we knew we had to address it, and we did and were able to accommodate him," she told a gathering of TV critics in Beverly Hills.

In a statement issued on his behalf by the show's producers, Patinkin said his departure was "due to creative differences." The producers added that salary and contract issues were not at issue.

Pressed for further details during the network's semiannual presentation to TV critics, Tassler insisted unspecified "personal issues" were behind Patinkin's move. Asked to reconcile her explanation with his, she said, "I think creative differences is a euphemism for personal issues."

To her credit, the discreet Tassler refused to entertain reporters' follow-up questions about what "personal issues" might be a euphemism for, preferring instead to wish the actor the best of luck with all of his future suddenly-quitting-hit-shows-under-mysterious-circumstances endeavors, and even generously offering to send Patinkin's headshot over to NBC colleague Ben Silverman for one of his headline-grabbing talent reclamation projects.

• CBS: Patinkin Quit 'Minds' Due to 'Personal Issue' [Reuters]