To be fair to Patrick, her choice of creepy seductress Jolie is really just an extension of Patrick's bizarre level of self/brand-awareness. Angelina is an action star and more age appropriate for the role of a 26-year-old than the 40-year-old Aniston. For marketing purposes it would be a much better fit. And what about America's sweetheart Mandy Moore? Too tall. We're imagining a similar sequence passed through Pitt's mind when he ditched the former "Friends" star for the one-woman African baby kidnapping gang.

Watch the video, shot by a group of Canadian bloggers, and you can see Patrick has already figured all of this out. The success of Danica Patrick has a lot to do with her being a really good driver wrapped in a fantastic marketing strategy. Fortunately, all of this is just hypothetical. Unless she dies in a horrible crash Patrick is only at made-for-TV movie level. For a feature studio film with a big star she'll have to win the Indy 500 or get killed by terrorists.

[MyHogtown]

Barker has burns on his torso and lower body and Goldstein has burns on his arm and part of his head, Mullins said. (Mullins would not say the percentage of their bodies that were burned or whether they were conscious. He also did not go into detail about the type of treatment they are currently receiving.)

According to People, a blown tire is being blamed for the accident:

"The cockpit voice recorder went on for two hours, but the last 18 minutes were most pertinent, because those words proved that it was a tire blowout that [may have] caused the crash killing four people," Debbie Hersman, board member of the National Transportation Safety Board in Washington, D.C., tells PEOPLE.

"After getting their clearance from Air Traffic Control, the plane only got 80 knots on the 8,600-foot runway before the incident," she said.

...The crew tried to abort takeoff, the recording stated, and there were many background and impact sounds on the tape. The voice tapes from the control tower were equally revealing.

"The Air Traffic Control tapes stated that they gave the crew clearance to depart, as well as the wind speeds," said Hersman, who is in Columbia with 11 other investigators from the NTSB.

"The tapes went on to say they saw sparks and heard the crew on the plane explaining that they were going off of the runway," she said.

One of the victims was Chris Baker, Barker's assistant, though initial rumors that said the jet was chartered so that he could fly back to his pregnant wife's bedside have been proven false. Barker's ex-wife, Shanna Moakler, and AM's ex-girlfriend, Mandy Moore, have flown to the men's bedsides.

We'll keep you updated, but hopefully, things will only get better from here.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• 4 Killed In Small Plane Crash: DJ AM And Travis Barker Critically Injured [HuffPo]

boomp3.com


Southland Tales star Mandy Moore got a little bit bored while out comic book shopping with rumored boyfriend musician Ryan Adams. Sensing her boredom, Adams attempted to spice things up by making an inappropriate touch within Moore's bathing suit area. Moore took offense to the squeeze, but in an attempt to defend his actions, Adams said he thought it would be funny. Moore was quick to point out that they were in public and in a comic book store of all places; if he wanted to do something "fun," she thought it would be a better idea to go hiking than to just watch him look through old Alan Moore comic books. Adams corrected Moore and said "They're not comics, they're graphic novels" as she stomped off.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

boomp3.com

Following in the steps of Academy Award winner and mega MILF Gwyneth Paltrow, Hollywood's resident goodie two shoes Mandy Moore decided to reveal a bit of her kinkier side via her fancy footwear. Moore has been looking to move beyond "the girl everybody loves and cares for" parts into something more meaty and interesting. Moore said, "The good girl rarely wears a shoe that could be used a weapon to murder somebody. I want people to be AFRAID of what I could do with my shoes. I'm sick of people of wanting to hug me and talk about how much they loved A Walk To Remember. I want to be scary, yet adorable." Upon completing her diatribe, Moore tripped and fell and muttered something under her breath about how she should've never listened to her stupid stylist in the first place.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

Thing You Don't Know About Women #1: "PMS is not a lame excuse to be able to yell at you. It's a great excuse."
Who It's About: John Mayer. Wouldn't you want an excuse to yell at him, too?

Thing You Don't Know About Women #2: "We really can pump our own gas. It's just that we've got this fantasy of you as a '30s-era full-service station attendant. You'd look so cute in the hat."
Who It's About: Patrick Wilson. He would look cute in any hat. Or without any hat. Or without any clothes...

Thing You Don't Know About Women #3: "We're not complimented when you call your ex a slut. She dated you, too. So what are we?"
Who It's About: Carson Daly. He was engaged to Tara Reid. Nuff said!

Thing You Don't Know About Women #4: "We're smart enough to know that smell is always the dog."
Who It's About: Craig Ferguson. He looks gassy.

Thing You Don't Know About Women #5: "Yes, we can dish it out."
Who It's About: Wilmer Valderrama. He was probably skeezing on other starlets all the time (see Lohan, Lindsay; Moore, Mandy) and deserved a stern talking to.

Thing You Don't Know About Women #6: "No, we can't take it."
Who It's About: Wilmer again. Bet he has a sass mouth.

Thing You Don't Know About Women #7: "We want to raise children. We just don't want you to be one of them."
Who It's About: LFO's Rich Cronin, solely because he was behind the lyrics: "New Kids On The Block, had a bunch of hits/ Chinese food makes me sick." Those had to be written by someone with the mentality of a seven year old.

Thing You Don't Know About Women #8: Women are meant to talk and men to listen. We don't want to be fixed; we want to be heard.
Who It's About: Kip Pardue. The insouciant smirk always plastered to his face makes us think he wouldn't be the best listener.

Thing You Don't Know About Women #9: "When we ask if you've had any work done, it's because we want to know what our kids will really look like."
Who It's About: Carson Daly. Have you seen his face recently? He looks like an entirely different person.

Thing You Don't Know About Women #10: "When we ask you how we look, it's okay to lie; when we ask you how she looks, you better lie."
Who It's About: Ross McCall. This is advice he should keep with him for the future.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: 10 Things You Don't Know About Women [Esquire]
Jennifer Love Hewitt [Who's Dated Who]

Earlier: The Esquire Map To...Minnie Driver's Dating Life
Women We Love

In today's episode: Vince Vaughn; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Edward Norton; Mandy Moore, Ryan Adams, Josh Kelley; Michael Cera and Maura Tierney; Ted Danson; Ellen Page; Robin Wright Penn, Tori Spelling, Scout Willis; Jason Schwartzman, Ron Livingston, and Elizabeth Reaser; Orlando Jones; Diahann Carroll; Wilford Brimley; Famke Janssen; Joel McHale; David Annable; Roma Maffia; Katherine Moennig; Sendhil Ramamurthy; Mystery and Alex Orbison. In England: Nicolas Cage.

· Vince Vaughn ambled past me last night (12/19) on Main St. in SM. The usual: Tall, thick, somewhat haggard. Was wearing one of those big insulated parka jackets and chatting loudly with an equally tall friend I didn't recognize. He looked thinner than he did at the Fred Claus premiere. I thought VV was an Eastside carouser, to what do we westsiders owe the honor, I wonder?

· Just thought I'd let you know that I saw Drew Barrymore and Justin Long arm in arm at the Murakami exhibit in downtown Los Angeles on Sunday, December 16th. I first spotted them giggling nervously in front of the Murakami statue depicting an anime-style character with a huge penis and a vortex of sperm shooting out of it. Like everyone else, they couldn't help themselves. I saw them around the exhibit at least 2 more times after that, looking flirty and sweet. Drew is even prettier in person...and Justin needs to shave off that silly moustache!! He's too cute for it. But it was a good sighting, and
added to the surreal environment Murakami created.

· 12/12 - mandy moore (who is beyond nice every single time i run into her), ryan adams (supposedly. didnt look like him to me but he was holding hands with her and someone said it was him), and josh kelley (who is actually way too awesome and nice to just be called mr. katherine heigl) at the ben lee show at el rey theatre.

12/14 - motherfucking edward norton rolling up to rza at the el rey. so gangsta. he was tall and skinny with a badass black leather jacket.

· Dec 12, 2007

Location: Birds. That post-collegiate, paparazzi-free bar next to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater on Franklin Ave.

Juno male lead, Michael Cera with a group of his friends, drinking and socializing. I thought he was taller, he stands at about 5'10"... maybe a half inch more.

Maura Tierney, ER Doctor Abby Lockhart, drinking and chatting away with some nondescript guy. I thought she was taller, she stands about 5'3" maybe (on a good day) 5'4".

Both were sitting on opposite ends of the room, oblivious to the others presence. As is the protocol in this celeb-drenched neighborhood, everyone left them alone.

· Monday - 18 December - Standing outside L'Occitane at the Malibu Country Mart, looking all tall, super skinny and gangly was Ted Danson, all alone, looking a bit lost and perhaps disoriented. I imagine if I'd tapped me some Whoopi Goldberg, I'd still be disoriented, too...wtf was he thinking?

· How I miss LA. Recently moved to the east coast but had to pass through LA on the way to Lihue. Flight 69 leaving LA on 12/14 around 1:40 After unexpectedly getting bumped to first class I find myself sitting 2 rows in front of Ellen Page. She was with some tall blonde guy named Sean. They seemed nice enough and they both, though underage, surprisingly, avoided the free booze they were regularly offered throughout all 6 hours of the flight.

· 12/16 - All within a couple hours and on one block on Beverly Blvd. in Beverly Hills: Robin Wright Penn (flawless) strolled by smiling with her kids in tow. I rode in an elevator with Tori Spelling, her adorably chatty baby boy and her lively, all-male entourage. Scout Willis (middle spawn of Bruce and Demi) held a parking garage door open for me.

· A few unrelated sightings on Sunday, December 16:
While enjoying the vegan-y goodness of Real Food Daily, my special ladyfriend and I spotted Jason Schwartzman sitting at a table with several friends. This was actually the second time we've seen him there—and why not? It's a damn fine eatery and I'm not even vegan; I just like stuff that tastes good. When peeking over at Schwartzman became tiring, who should walk in but Ron Livingston and Elizabeth Reaser (who co-starred with Livingston on an episode of his show 'Standoff,' but is best known as the lady with the crushed face who, once surgically made attractive again, left her family for Dr. Karev on 'Grey's Anatomy) and an attractive brunette lady we did not recognize.

· Also, earlier in the day we happened upon Orlando Jones walking his large and slobbery-looking bulldog in a quiet residential neighborhood that shall be kept private, lest overzealous Defamer-reading Orlando Jones fanatics bother him at home.

· Wow, what a wonderful woman. Diahann Carroll (for those of us of a certain age, aka Julia) came into the City National Bank at Sunset and Doheny Road on the edge of Beverly Hills and West Hollywood. She looked as wonderful as she did a few months ago on Oprah. The woman is an icon. She waited in line and chatted with another woman who appeared to be a friend. No drama, polite, elegant and looking great. And no I am not her publicist. Just happened to be there at the same time. It made my day.

· Driving down a very congested Wilshire Blvd at the Beverly Hills Country Club on Thursday 12/13 was none other than Diabetes testing supplies salesman and co-star of Steve Guttenberg in Cocoon, Mr. Wilford Brimley. I'm always fond of C-list sightings and below but this one was made infinitely better by Wilfred rocking the cherry red Mustang Convertible. All I wanted to do was roll down the window and shout, "have you checked your diabetes!?"

· b-list boom on sunday, 12/16.. lunching in los feliz, complete with sunglasses was host of e!'s the soup, joel mchale... then, later at pizzeria mozza was the statuesque (and impossible to pronounce) famke janssen. tall drink of water....

· Dec 17 - I believe all those reports of MK Olsen "dating" with David Annable are complete BS because I just saw him "canoodling" with a different young white girl waiting on line at the Coral Tree cafe line at the Century City mall food court.

·Spotted a radiant Roma Maffia (Nip/Tuck) having brunch at Campanile with 2 other ladies. Curious, is she a lesbian in real life too?

· Dec 17 - "The L Word's" KATHERINE MOENNIG, smiling (!!) and radiant, at OK Gallery on 3rd with her equally ectomorphic girlfriend.

· 12/19 - Sendhil Ramamurthy (Dr. Suresh on Heroes) walking alone and bagless at the Grove. Blue baseball hat and blue tee.

· Sunday 12.16 Only one person at King's Road Cafe dressed for the occasion should a rave and/or the apocalypse suddenly break out and that would be Mystery from VH1's "The Pick Up Artist."

Monday 12.17 Roy Orbison spawn and Kat Von D humper Alex Orbison was buying spinning shoes (really, wtf?) at I. Martin.

Special Nic Cage UK Christmas Edition:

· My first sighting in a long time, surprised that I still care at 70 years and some, but what the heck...it'll dirve my daughters crazy. "Sunday, Dec. 16: Nicolas Cage at Waitrose, grocery store in Bath, stocking up. Shoppin cart was loaded, but looked like they were only shopping for themselves. Like they were moving in for the holidays. Cute wife and daughter. He had that same tense "ohhh shit" look on his face. Guess it isn't an act, tho shopping on a Sunday at Waitrose is a bit of job if you don't want to be noticed. Knew I recognized him, little nod. Everyone was nice and left them alone.

• The Tyra Banks Show

In today's episode: Lindsay Lohan (in Sundance, Utah); Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart; Winona Ryder; Vince Vaughn and "a Wilson brother"; Seth Green; Mandy Moore and Jason Segel; Jerry Bruckheimer; Reggie Williams and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar; Larry King; Oliver Stone and Tom Ford; John Stamos; DJ Danger Mouse; Busy Phillips; Michael Gross and James Avery; Willie Garson; Chris Kattan and Preston Lacy; Chelsea Handler; Kato Kaelin; Asia Argento; Roger Cross; Eric Christian Olsen; Brandon Davis; Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge; Samantha Ronson.

· I've been at a resort in Utah for the past week, two days ago I'm coming down a trail from my cabin when I see someone else walking up the mountain. From a distance I saw a girl that I thought was out of place for the environment. People that come to that part of the country are outdoor/gear enthusiasts who are a little crunchy and tend to dress/live the part. This girl had on a baseball cap, H U G E sunglasses and wasn't really fitted for a trek. Had I been in LA, I would have thought, "what lame-o celeb is trying to work the, "I'm-hiding-from-the-paps-in-the-most-obvious-way" disguise?" As we got closer to each other, I thought, "that looks like Lindsay Lohan." My logical brain then intervened because why the eff would she be in the middle of nowhere, by herself and on the same trail as me? Had going cold turkey for a week on all media caused me to hallucinate a party girl in the sticks? When we passed each other she smiled at me and then looked down—-aside from noting that this doppelganger was way too thin, I could see that she had on no make-up which made her look really young and then spotted ooodles of her tell-tale freckles. When I got to the bottom of the mountain I told some friends that I had passed a girl who I would swear was LiLo...ha ha, the altitude must be making me nuts, right? They then reminded me that there was a super posh rehab a few miles away so I might not be totally insane. My sighting was sort of a running joke for the rest of the weekend ala Sasquatch/Firecrotch until I got emails from friends linking me to sites announcing that Ms. Lohan was indeed in my neck of the woods.

· Saw Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart, with (her?) kid at the Dodger game on Sat nite. They seemed to be having a good time despite the Dodger loss, and stayed for the whole game. And yes, Calista ate junk food at the game just like the rest of us.

· my boyfriend and i were at the weho target sunday (8-5) about 3pm and I saw a girl and i thought, "wow she looks like winona ryder" i turn and look and my bf's jaw hit the ground. just from that, i knew it was her, he's a great celeb spotter, she was with her bf and they were buying new pillows. as soon as she saw us follow her to the elevator, she put on her HUGE and i mean HUGE sunglasses that covered her entire face. she asked everyone in the elevator if they needed p2 pushed and we were the only ones who spoke. she was so so tiny and i thought she looked stunning, but bf thought she looked like an old sickly lady....her skin was flawless!!

· 8/4/07-Saw Hunky Vince Vaughn and a Wilson Brother trolling for drunk Volley Dolley's at the Manhattan Beach Volleyball tournament. Neither wore shades or a hat so their star power could really shine and reel in the ladies.

8/6/07-In and Out Universal City...Small Fry Seth Green eating outside. His hair was definitely "Animal Style"

· Friday, 8/3. Dresden Room, Los Feliz. Drinking with friends when in walks Jason Segel from How I Met Your Mother. He orders what looks like whiskey and sits down at the piano bar by himself. A little later, he's joined by some woman who seemed like the average 20-something from the back — messy hair, frumpy black jacket. Then she turned around and it was Mandy Moore. Looked like they were just there as friends. So that would be plenty celebrity for the night...until Vince Vaughn walked in. Yeah, the guy from Swingers who shot his movie in the Dresden Room still drinks at said establishment. Vince skipped the bar and hung out in a booth in the back with his posse or something.

· So last night (Wed Aug 6th), we decided to head over to Q's on Wilshire for some casual after-work drinks on the Westside. As it was a weekday, the place was pretty dead (who goes out to Q's on a Monday night when there's $2 margaritas at Acapulco in westwood???) Apparently, none other than the master of Pirates himself, Jerry Bruckheimer! We couldn't believe our eyes as he casually strolled in, and saddled up to the bar next to (who we assume) were a couple of fellow producer friends from his company or perhaps some guys from his management team. Everyone in our group kept staring at him (we're all production/agency kids), but no one else in the bar seemed to notice. Within 5 minutes of entering, of course, he was on his immediately on his blackberry taking calls (at 10pm).

· Reggie Williams and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar were sitting in front of me on a flight from LAX to Honululu (Aug 3), talking about their NBA championship games. Then they started arguing about who could sink more 3-pointers in a row. Pretty insane!

· Just saw Larry King (Aug. 4) coming out of the Pacific Grove theatres at The Grove in Hollywood. Was here with a young kid. Son? Grandson? Wasn't wearing the customary huge plastic glasses. Maybe he only wears those on TV...

· Friday night (Aug. 3) at the Tower Bar - Saw Tom Ford in all of his tanned, open chest haired glory. I must say that he is extremely handsome and stylish in person. What a waste for us women....Also saw Oliver Stone in all of his tanned, open chest haired non-glory. The man looks like he has been through the wringer times 10 ( is he still making movies anyway?)

· 8/6/07 Not the most interesting but worth noting. Out with the fam for some BBQ at Lucille's in Long Beach and randomly spot John Stamos tucked away in the corner. Uncle Jesse was doing his best to stay unnoticed, even donning a cap when leaving (if it wasn't dark already I'm sure sunglasses may have been in order as well). Seemed nice enough, even helped a server with something she dropped to the floor from her already full hands.

· 6 Aug 7 I saw DJ Danger Mouse at The Belmont on Saturday (4 Aug). On my way out I asked the bouncer if that was in fact the man himself, and he said he didn't know who Danger Mouse was. Once I explained that he's opposite Cee Lo in Gnarls Barkley (ever heard of 'em?) he knew right away. Aparantly he's friends with the owner.

· It's your favorite Defamer operative from Starbucks Sunset & Gower: today a nice young blonde woman came in and ordered her drink. When my co-worker asked for her name, she said Busy. He commented that he'd never heard the name before. From the espresso machines I commented that I had, and asked him if he'd ever heard of the actress Busy Phillips. He hadn't but the customer had, saying "He even knows my last name!" I looked up and realized it was her. She was pleasant , and stayed for quite awhile drinking her iced green tea unsweetened. Oh how I miss Freaks and Geeks, but love my dvd set!

· It was a TV Sitcom Dads breakfast at HOME on Hillhurst, yesterday morning (8/5): First up, James Avery, surrogate father to Will Smith, from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Then, Michael Gross slid into the booth next to ours. Apparently I said, "hey, that's Alex P. Keaton's dad!" a little more audibly than my boyfriend would have liked, because he shot me a look and said, "you're so loud!" No, I'm not. Also, I would assume Michael Gross would be more apt to have someone recognize him from Family Ties, than, hmm... let's say, Tremors?

· Friday, 8/3 Formosa Cafe—Willie Garson (Stanford from Sex & The City) was wandering around the main bar/train car area with a male friend. They seemed to just be looking around at the place, but not interested in sitting down. Willie is adorable—had a red baseball cap on, for some inexplicable reason, but was still fabulous.

· Tuesday, August 1st. I saw Preston Lacy (JACKASS) and Chris Kattan (SNL) have lunch together at Jack n Jills in Beverly Hills (poet and didn't even know it). They both seemed friendly yet somewhat subdued. Preston is a big boy, and Chris was better looking than I would have expected.

· Chelsea Handler at the Gelson's in Marina del Rey. Pretty beautiful but surprisingly not skinny. She was with an attractive 40ish male. While waiting at the deli counter she complemented this scary, braless, overtanned, & overscalpeled bag in short shorts on her necklace - only to smirk and whisper evil nothings about the woman as soon as she turned around.

· Kato Kaelin banking in Toluca Lake across from the Graciela, August 7. I didn't know anyone under 80, or above 23, banked here; it's the nearly dead/newlywed memorial branch I think. Any-ho, don't know if he has a job, and I could do without the highlights, but he's tan and built, and chats up lowly bank tellers very sweetly. If this is what pushing 50 looks like (he's only two years older than me, thx IMDB), sign me up. And I'll take the black roadster type coupe he was driving too, dammit.

· I saw Miss Sixty spokeswoman and actress-filmmaker Asia Argento leaving Fogo de Chão on August 4th with about five others. She was looking a little scraggily wearing a long red tank over jean short cut-offs.

· I stopped at pickup stix on laurel canyon to feed my pregnant BFF at around 5pm, 6th of august, and who let us cut in front but the lovely ROGER CROSS, curtis manning off that "24" show.

· Spotted Eric Christian Olsen of "Dumb and Dumberer" fame (thank you, imdb) braving the Saturday crowds at Century City today (8/4) and taking advantage of the sales at Restoration Hardware. Also taking advantage of the really skinny blonde he was with. Well done, Eric Christian Olsen.

· I saw The Bourne Ultimatum at Century City on Friday and I ended up sitting near Brandon "Firecrotch" Davis. He smells so bad, I would have moved if there had been any open seats. I had to shower when I got home because I could still smell him in my hair — an unholy mixture of cigarettes, patchouli, BO and some undefinable something else. In addition to reeking, he left his seat at least twice during the movie, spent the entire time grunting/sniffing/moaning/snoring (while awake, which I thought was impossible), reading his Blackberry, and I caught him at least twice lifting up his tee shirt to grab and inspect a roll of belly fat. He also ate: a carton of Dibs, a bag of Skittles, a small bag of popcorn, a bag of chips, a soda, and a Slurpee. I can understand why he got disinherited.

· Because A-List stars are the only way I roll, Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge, jaywalking Robertson after apparently leaving the Ivy on Friday afternoon, August 3. No sign of Heidi and her big boobs or dickhead Spencer. Good. I hate them. Bring on Season 3.

· I saw Samantha Ronson (LiLo enabler) in a black Porsche near the BH hotel yesterday (8-6). She was wearing the same pork pie hat she always has on and looked sad and hung over.

• Starring Robin Williams as The Uterus [Single File Eyes]

In today's spectacular calvacade of stars: Jack Nicholson; Aaron Sorkin; James Woods; Lindsay Lohan, Mandy Moore, Minnie Driver, and George Lucas; Sumner Redstone, Brad Grey and Emeril Lagassi; Bruce Willis; Steve Carell; Michael Cera; Nicole Richie; Jules Asner and Steven Soderbergh; Jessica Simpson; Kurt Russell, Goldie Hawn, Val Kilmer, Garry Shandling and Tom Morello; Thomas Schlamme; Helen Mirren; Danny DeVito, Kirsten Dunst, Toni Collette; Elijah Wood; Johnny Galecki; an Olsen twin; Sandra Oh; Jeffrey Sebelia; Scott Wolf and Kelley Limp; Zach Braff; Wes Bentley and Carson Daly; Geoffrey Rush and Corey Haim; Mischa Barton; Jerry Stiller and Ann Meara; Peter Dinklage; Leslie Bibb; Slash and Stockard Channing; Charlotte Rae; Michael Bolton; Michael Emerson; Paris Latsis, Stavros Niarchos, Travis Barker and Fabio; Kevin Richardson; Mike "Boogie" Malin; Billy Connolly; Jeffrey Jones and John deLancie.

· Saw Jack Nicholson last night (10-8) walking out of the Grove theater around 7:30 p.m. No young slut(s) on his arm—he was alone. Perhaps he took in the 5:30 p.m. showing of "The Departed?" Always nice to see your own head projected on a massive screen.

· OK, I've held this back, but with all the Sorkin references lately... A couple of months ago, I was in first on a Continental flight from Newark to LAX. Having been a former NBC exec, I knew it was Aaron Sorkin sitting ahead of me, and quietly mentioned so to my wife, who's a big fan. But then, he started laughing, shockingly hard, at the movie, which was "Ice Age the Meltdown." And I told her that I must be mistaken, as we all know comedy writers might quietly say "that's funny," assuming it was, and I'm assuming this film wasn't, but loud guffaws? Since seeing all the publicity photos, it's now clear that I was right — it was him. Maybe he can move onto wacky talking animal animation when Studio 60 gets 86'd.

Oh yeah. And James Woods looking bored also at the Grove eating dinner with some blonde at that lame restaurant across from the theater.

· Last night (Sunday 10/8) saw Lindsay Lohan, Mandy Moore, Minnie Driver, and The Grizzled One (George Lucas) at the Grove. Minnie Driver and Mandy Moore were in line at the Mexican place at the Farmers Market. Minnie was wearing this stripey black and white top with jeans tucked into boots and this light blue cashmere throw. She was there with another English girl, and a guy. Minnie was very conspicuous and was telling some story about some fan who came up to her and couldn't get her name right, and she kept saying "Its Minnie." Mandy Moore was in line with this nebbishy looking guy, but they looked to be friends. No canoodling to speak of. We saw Lindsay at the 10:30 showing of "The Departed." She was rocking an Elvira/Leather Daddy look. Black leggings, black leather jacket, long black hair and pale skin. There was nothing notable. We shared a brief moment in which we made eye contact with my eyes saying "Lindsay? Is it really you?" And her eyes saying "Yup, lets not make a thing out of it. Just a normal night, wearing some leather daddy outfit. Its cool." And then finally, we spotted The Grizzled One walking towards the parking garage, by that fake Paris bistro part of the Grove. He was walking hurriedly, and then just as he was about to get on the elevator, this dude called out his name and started following him.

· Sumner Redstone & wife with his pet midget, Brad Grey:

Just as I was walking into the Grill On The Alley, coming right at me is the God Emperor of Viacom with wife in tow.

Where it came from, I don't know, but I just said in the most jovial of tones, "Hi Sumner!" which he replied probably equally as impressed that a tiny piss ant like myself would even speak to him. Seemed like a really nice man, and common sense got the best of me from saying, "Way to fire that faggot! Good job!"

I was so busy admiring Sumner's dye job that Brad Grey, whom Sumner was obviously dining with, slipped by behind him. I didn't even see him, he's that small. They weren't ten feet past me when my friend told me I almost stepped on Brad, he's that small, and I'm only 5' 8"!

Ten minutes later, Emeril Lagassi came walking into the restaurant with his entourage.

He looked like he was ready to fall asleep into his Oysters on the half shell and what looked like soft peel shrimp. I wanted to go over to the table and scream, "wham!" and wake him up, just like he does every time I 'm napping during one of his segments on the Food Channel.

Thumbs up on The Grill though, a great place with great chow. Much better then Emeril could ever come-up with.

· 10/9 Saw Bruce Willis powering through the bread aisle at Bristol Farms on Beverly/Doheny, followed by some grungy-looking Cisco Adler type carrying his stuff. (Not sure Cisco Adler deserves boldface.)

· Michael Cera (George Michael from Arrested Devlopment) with his cute girlfriend at Detour last night.
Steve Carell (!!!!) at Gelson's in Studio City buying baby food and diapers Sunday at 6:30... had to gushingly tell him how much my boyfriend and I love everything he does- he was super nice!

· Two pretty good sightings while waiting to buy food within in two days. First, Saw Nicole Richie consuming food (Pinkberry) last friday, 10/6 at the West Hollywood location, Her weave was a little ratty and her skin is a very strange color from all the spray on tanning. Her and the two friends held up the line and were obnoxious, Nicole somehow managed to juggle texting on her Treo throughout the ordering process while wearing her supersized shades. She was with that girl DJ that is very 'boyish'...(a Ronson I think) and just when we thought she was done, NR handed back her yogurt (small cup) for extry fruity pebbles (no joke) and got them! Then Saturday, 10/7, saw Jules Asner (hot) and Steven Soderbergh (not so hot) buying jumbo bucket of popcorn to share for the first screening of 'The Departed' at the Chinese. Guess they must have been out to support buddy Matt Damon. They were cute together and very low key and didn't seem to mind the long concession line. (p.s.— the movie rocked!) (p.p.s.— don't worry, I'm going on a diet!)

· So skinny minnie Jessica Simpson in dark skinny jeans and a light blue flannel plaid long sleeved shirt is grocery shopping in Gelson's at Westfield Century City. She was wearing her sunglasses when she was first shopping (you know, so no one would recognize her) but took them off halfway through the store. I think she's wearing clogs, but maybe boots. Her hair is in a pony tail and is short and she really needs to get her roots done. She and her assistant went down every single aisle. Jessica is cute but who is that assistant/girl and why is she wearing the ugliest horizontal striped dress ever??

· I spent Sunday evening(10/9) at the Hollywood Bowl taking in Rogers Waters performing the Pink Floyd classic "Dark Side Of The Moon." About four boxes behind me were Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn talking to Val Kilmer. Goldie and Iceman in the same box. What are the odds? Then a few boxes to the left was none other than Garry Shandling. He didn't look high. Shocker. Then directly in front of me was Tom Morello from Rage Against The Machine. How did he have better seats than Kurt and Goldie or me? Audioslave blows. Bring back Rage!

· Double sighting on Monday, 10/9. On the way to the Arclight for a screening of "Man of the Year," I passed by the Hollywood Palladium, which has been redressed to serve as the main theater for the tragically underperforming "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip." Across the street, they were setting up for an evening shoot; no stars visible but I did see Thomas Schlamme cutting it up with a crew member. Later, around 9:15 p.m., after getting out of the movie (not great, but pretty good, btw), I saw a white-blonde lady walking toward me with a younger man in a black suit by her side; upon second glance, I confirmed it was future Oscar winner Helen Mirren. They were having what looked to be a guild-sponsored screening of "The Queen" at the Arclight; I assumed Dame Helen was going there for a meet-and-greet following the movie. That may have explained the slightly pained look on her face, as if she was rushing for an appointment; still, she looked longer than her 61 (!) years - regal but still mellow. She so rocks.

· Sufjan Stevens concert at the Wiltern LG, October 9th

Danny DeVito - Someone shouted out "Danny Devito!" and someone else yelled "He's here!"
Kirsten Dunst
Toni Collette, leaving the theatre fast
Michael Cera (George Michael Bluth from Arrested Development) hanging out with fans, laughing

· I saw Kirsten Dunst at the Sufjan Stevens show at the Wiltern. It was amazing.

· 9:15am, Thurs, 10/15-Corner of Sunset and Fairfax, Elijah Wood walking east from The Coffee Bean with blended drink in hand. I, myself was walking to the pharmacy on the corner as he approached sporting black hair, black buggy sunglasses, black suit. What initially struck me was how Polly-Pocket small he is...and then I started to shudder thinking of his turn in Sin City. Little man is just creepy. He kept walking east down Sunset probably to eviscerate someone.

· September 26-Obscure sighting, ran into Johnny Galecki (Darlene's boyfriend David on Roseanne) mailing a letter on Sunset across the street from Sunset Plaza. He had on the "Please don't notice me" baseball hat / shades combo. I wouldn't have looked twice if not for the weird dye job. He's got terrible bleach-blonde hair for who the hell knows why. I only thought to mention because my 12 year old self thought he was such the art school rebel. Now, yeah...he was better on tv. Taller too.

· Just got back from Bed Bath and Beyond at the Beverly Center, where a tiny Olsen twin (which one has blonde hair now?) was loaded down with a cart full of bags. She checked out the same time as a friend and I, and we watched as a stack of cheap looking dishes were wrapped for her. A second sales associate was called to help her move the cart to her car. Apparently her brittle arms couldn't handle the weight of a full shopping cart. Wouldn't have noticed her, if not for the giant sunglasses covering her eyes (in the store, mind you), the spandex pants, weird looking tap shoes, and diamond on her finger as big as my arm. Seriously, the diamond was worth more than my life.

· Thursday 10/5.
Saw Sandra Oh getting in her prius outside of Luna Park around lunchtime. Sexy, that one.

...and I blocked this one cause he's a turd but saw Jeffrey "can I buy a chin" Sebelia of Project Runway fame on Glendale in SilverFake. He was driving a crappy Crown Vicky (cop car) and had a woman and two kids in tow. Hopefully he isn't breeding. Not that he was going to win with his constant 80's rocker rehash but he would've had a better car if he did. They win one right? This was on Sat 10/30

· friday, 06 oct - the NINE's dreamy jeremy kates (played by *scott wolf*), having an early lunch at jumpin' java in studio city with a STUNNING blonde (i believe it was his wife, former mtv: real world cast member kelley limp). he's not as big as i thought he'd be, but they were both real pretty.

Quite a Sunday for celeb seeing in Hollywood.

· 10-8 I hardly have an item of mention but I figure I have an obligation to all three of those who may care (that includes me!).

Saw Zach Braff at Greenblatt's Deli on Sunset. On his phone at the deli counter (something to the effect of "did you tell her that I was going to fly her out?").

Looked like he just worked out/woke up, did some stretching move and pulled up his t-shirt to expose a taught indie-belly. Bailed and got into a Toyota Tundra. Serious cred...

· Sunday October 8th

Wes Bentley and Carson Daly (separately) watching NFL at Hollywood Billiards Sunday afternoon.

Later Sunday night I saw Geoffrey Rush and Corey Haim (again separately) taking in Roger Waters at The Hollywood Bowl.

Corey looked very healthy and normal with his beautiful wife, while Geoffrey looked bitter and confused.

· Mischa Barton at the Malibu inn to see Fishbone.
Her: Actually very pretty.
Her Boyfriend: very, very ugly.
wtf?

· Totally banner weekend of celeb sightings. Saturday night I went to see comedy readings at M Bar (not as painful as it sounds) and JERRY STILLER and ANN MEARA were there! I guess maybe a friend was doing one of the readings? I couldn't help but to think of (and involuntarily chuckle at) the "Man Bro" episode of SEINFELD. That's pretty much one of my faves. But after the show, the best part happened - Ann Meara spoke to me! She literally just came up, but her arm around my waist, and butt into our conversation! My friend actually chatted her up for a few minutes about writing. Ann seems like she may have had a few too many but so did I so who am I to judge? Then on Sunday in the parking lot of Sav On (or is it Rite Aid?) on Larchmont, I saw PETER DINKLAGE! He was driving, which is pretty cool (I suppose he has those special handles that press the gas and brakes)...a very small car. Love the irony. Some Toyota or something. Nothing fancy. I called my boyfriend in a tizzy. I LOVE Peter Dinklage, I think he's so hot. I told my boyfriend that I might dump him if Peter would give me the time of day. Alas, he drove on by...

· Sighting- ricky bobby's hot wife, carley (leslie bibb) a bloomingdales in sherman oaks. Hot, blonde, tall and not all emaciated.

· Saw Chris Robinson (Kate Hudson's husband/ex) speeding west on Sunset (through Brentwood) in his black Dodge Ram (decorated with one, solo Grateful Dead sticker). This was like at 8:00am. He looked like sh*t. Then again, he usually does.

· Slash and Stockard Channing (but not together) at Hungry Cat last night (10/03).

· friday, oct. 6, The 'Ho. Whilst lunching at little hole in the wall, Mason Jar, my lunch mates and I sat next to Tootie's Bong holder, Charlotte Rae, aka. Mrs. Edna Garrett and her lunch mate. She was super sweet and chatted with us about the restaurant (seriously, it's a great place). She even offered us some of her salad. I didn't mention the bong episode or if they were ever going to expose Jo as a carpet muncher. She did talk with her mouth full and was kinda surly when we gave her directions, but it was kinda cool to know she's still alive.

· Reporting this a bit late, but on 9/29 saw MICHAEL BOLTON lunching at the Belvedere restaurant at the Peninsula. He's rapidly aging into quite a JAMES CAAN look.

· Saturday night at the Bounty Bar on Wilshire, I saw the guy from Lost who plays Henry Gale (Michael Emerson) holding court, possibly having a book club meeting of his own. Also spotted was veteran character actor Keith David. I don't think either was with the Korean girl in a wedding dress.

· 10/4 at Madeo's - Saw Paris Latsis and was embarrassed that I recognized him immediately (that US Weekly subscription is truly rotting my brain). This alone in my book would not be worthy of a privacy watch sighting, but Stavros Niarchos walked in 5 minutes after Boy Paris left. I was waiting for Travis Barker and hoping maybe to witness Round 2 of Moakler vs. Hilton, but no such luck. I did see Fabio, though.

· Around 9 am today (10/10) I was on Larchmont getting a Starbucks when I noticed a blonde lady walking a huge, slobbery white dogs. I love dogs so I almost missed the fact that his human companion was JUDY GREER. I love her! She was fantastic on ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. Oh, poor ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, RIP. Anyway, Judy had no make on, dressed down, you know, walkin' the dog. Looked totally normal. She must live close by to Larchmont, I saw her there once before in the Mailboxes Etc. store.

· On my flight today (Monday, 10/9) from Vegas to Burbank:

- Kevin Richardson (late of the Backstreet Boys) and his pretty wife - she was sitting on the floor reading a tabloid, he was making phone calls and looking busy;

- Mike "Boogie" Malin, "winner" of Big Brother All-Stars, with some male friends (one of whom bore a striking resemblance to K-Fed, but alas - no such luck!) He was wearing a t-shirt pimping one of his Hollywood restaurants (Les Deux) and looks like even more of a troll-doll in person than on TV.

· Last Saturday my husband and I went to Nick's Cafe on Pico. Upon entering and I immediately recognized a gentleman facing the door in a booth with funky L.A. Eyewear-style glasses on but could not place him. We sat at the counter where he was right behind us. When I heard his accent I realized who it was Scottish actor/comedian Billy Connolly having breakfast with some unknown guy. My husband leaned to me and asked, "Why is his hair so yellow? Does he smoke a lot?"

· Saw Jeffrey Jones at the WeHo Trader Joes. Much taller and fatter than I would have guessed. But, I was there with my young son, so I just got the hell out as quickly as I could

· Seen at the Grand Ave Festival (10/7): John deLancie (Q) of Star Trek: the Next Generation Fame, wearing what looked like a robe stolen from a Lord of the Rings set.