So far, the Jolie-Pitt clan has lived in New Orleans, Paris, Namibia, Berlin and, most recently, New York, where Maddox attended the prestigious Lycée Francais for just six weeks. Now they're in L.A., where Jolie is shooting "The Changeling." Pitt and Jolie are rumored to have enrolled at least one of the kids at Universal Studio's child-care center.

"With the moves, the kids just don't invest in relationships, because they're going to lose them anyway," Hall told Page Six's Marianne Garvey. "They think: 'Why bother? I'm not gonna stick around. We're gonna pick up and go, and the loss of friends is painful.'"

Sadly, Maddox has already begun to show signs of alienation and ennui, having been recently approached by a Lycée Francais classmate in the academy's leather-walled supper club, and, asked if he'd liked to swap a foie gras mousse appetizer for a plate of duck carpaccio with quince gelee, simply stared off at the Delacroix painting hanging over the fireplace and sighed, "What does it even matter, Rocco? Either one of us might be on the next flight overseas tomorrow."

• BUM TRIP FOR BRANGELINA KIDS [NY Post]

Certainly, the day was made extra-special by the attentive dad's surprise gift to the eldest of his largely hand-picked clan: the ability to cast the sibling of his choice from their overcrowded family. It came as no shock that the boy selected Shiloh, who despite their mommy's best attempts at instilling a sense of humility in the overprivileged blob, always seemed unacceptably smug about her status as Pitt and Jolie's only "real" child." Following Maddox's decision, the baby was placed in a stroller by a bodyguard and wheeled to a nearby Santa Barabara spa, where she was quickly scooped up by a vacationing couple from L.A., who hoped to flip her on eBay for a staggering profit once they returned home.

• In Life & Style now: Inside Maddox's Birthday! [Life & Style]

When Jolie is in L.A., even though she has four full-time nannies, she leaves her three eldest kids at the $931-per-month preschool/day-care center on the Warner Bros. lot, Star reports, where other parents are upset with the special treatment Jolie gets. One flashpoint is a ban on cellphones because Jolie fears parents will take pictures of her kids.

Pitt's rep, Cindy Guagenti, told Page Six, "I wish people would leave them alone. They're trying to do something good." Jolie's manager, Guyer Kosinski, did not respond to questions e-mailed to him.

Since the calling of this jihad against Jolie, the Warner Bros. day care center has gone from a friendly place where a harried actress can drop her children while she's off earning a living to a paranoid holding cell filled with toddling spies, where the only thing that stands between her vulnerable brood and an Us Weekly cover story promising an EXCLUSIVE REPORT: MADDOX HOGS ALL THE GOOD CRAYONS; PAX SLOW TO MASTER EVEN SIMPLEST ENGLISH PHRASES is a daily pat-down to ensure that the Garanimals of suspicious-looking newcomers aren't filled with tabloid-supplied recording devices.

• Denied Pix, Tabs Savage Jolie [Page Six]

[Photo: AP]

• Angelina Jolie in Vietnam to adopt boy [CNN.com]

• Angelina Jolie and Son Visit Refugees [AP]

"We don't know which which country. But we're looking at different countries," the actress tells [Anderson] Cooper. "And we're I'm just it's gonna be the balance of what would be best for Mad and for Z right now. It's, you know, another boy, another girl, which country, which race would fit best with the kids."

With Southeast Asian, African, and Anglo-European children already receiving adequate representation within the family, the infant coordination process becomes an incredibly difficult one. A single miscalculation in the proper balance of gender, nationality, and race could result in ugly intrafamilial civil war that even United Jolie-Pitt Nations Secretary General Maddox is unable to prevent with a lengthy imposition of sandbox sanctions.

• Jolie Planning to Adopt Another Child [AP]

• Bradly in Love [News of the World UK]
• Previously: The Way To An Actress’s Heart Is Through Her Cambodian Orphan [Defamer]

[Photo: Getty Images]

• Maddox Jolie Pitt: cultural icon [CityRag]
• Previously: Angelina Jolie’s Stomach Tattoo Revealed [Defamer]

So, on 12/21, my boyfriend goes to Sports Chalet in Oxnard (Ventura County), and who does he see perusing the aisles? BRAD PITT! But the ever morphing Pitt wasn't alone, he was with Maddox Jolie! After confirming multiple times that it was Brad (aviators on inside, all black attire (including a black range rover outside) and Cambodian kid complete with mohawk), I asked him if he took a picture with his camera phone (you know, Christmas IS just around the corner)...alas, he did NOT, banishing my dreams of a million dollar Christmas after all!

P.S. For those of you that don't know Oxnard, I'll just say it's the very least place you'd expect B.P. or any celebrity to be, (maybe George Lopez?) but considering its apparent lack of paparazzi, it might just be a future hotspot! Take that Kitson!

Go Team Jolie! No doubt, while the boys got their sporting goods on, Angelina and Zahara were having a girls' day out at a stripmall around the corner, luxuriating in a mom-and-infant two-fer manicure special at Oxnard Happy Happy Nails.

• Previously: Lloyd Grove Banishes Chameleon Brad Pitt [Defamer]
• Merry Christmas From The Pitts [Defamer]