Via AfterElton comes this truly awkward clip, in which no amount of Lance Bass-led media training has guarded Fatone against asking uncomfortable questions about Franco's decision to "play a homosexual, correct?" After a full minute of suffering through Fatone's remedial queries and sexual double entendres, Franco looks ready to administer a patented "Rinna lip" to Fatone using his own fists; we're shocked that the 'N Syncer didn't make it all the way to, "So what was it like to kiss Sean Penn, who was also playing a homosexual?" but by then, he was no doubt receiving "wrap it up" signs from his producer, his horrified stylist, and a cackling Rinna (who would have been licking her lips, had she the energy for such a formidable task).

• "Milk" star James Franco accosted by Joey Fatone, asked inane questions about playing "a homosexual" [AfterElton]

The two are running a red carpet gantlet in the coming months that begins at this Sunday's Golden Globes, then hits the SAG Awards, the Grammys, and finally the Oscars, at which point crew members will power them down and wheel them into a humidity-controlled storage crate for safekeeping until next year's festivities.

We had a few questions for Lisa, which she gamely answered:

DEFAMER: Considering all the awards-show red-carpet viewing options in 2009, why should people watch you and Joey Fatone?
LISA: They should watch us because Joey and I both have the best tits on the red carpet!

What do you regret eating recently?
I regret eating the 5 pieces of pepperoni pizza and the 5 pieces of sushi at the buffet restaurant at the Cove in the Bahamas.

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and have dark thoughts? If so, what are they?
[No response.]

Everyone's sacrificing lately. It's the hot new trend. What are you sacrificing?
I am sacrificing any form of shopping consumption. I am not buying any clothes, shoes, bags, jeans - you name it. NO SHOPPING.

We were at the Playboy Mansion for a Halloween party once, and Alan Thicke was trying to get a three-way going with his wife. Would you and Harry ever consider that?
NO 3 ways for me and Harry. Never had a 3 way don't want one.

Are Richard Simmons legs as buttery as they look on HD?
Yes and more, they are scrumptious!

Thanks, Lisa! Our pre-show eyeballs will be firmly glued to yours and Joey's spectacular racks this Sunday at 6 (5 central).

• Awards Season '09 [TV Guide Network]

· Lionsgate is buying TV Guide Network and TV Guide for $255 million; stay tuned for breathless press release announcing their rebranding as The Tyler Perry Network and Madea's Favorite TV Stories.
· Speaking of magical negros, here's everything you always wanted to know about them but were afraid to ask.
· Apple unveils the new Macbook Wheel. Ooh, shiny new toys! We want! We want!
· Sad news: veteran reality show producer Kathy Wetherell was killed in car accident in Arizona on December 20. Some of her credits included The Real World, The Bachelor, Flavor of Love, and Charm School.
· Nip/Tuck's sixth season premieres tomorrow, in which we'll be introduced to a fellow who'd like a Tyrannosaurus Prick-reduction. This could make for awkwardness among those of you who have recently moved back in with your parents.
· Bill O'Reilly is gay. (Also: His vagina is about 4 feet wide with razor sharp teeth.)

"What, you thought I wouldn't put in a cameo at least?" Satan was reported to have said at the hastily put-together press conference.

"I'm excited to announce that I've helped engineer a pilot presentation for TV Land that would follow the vacuous lives of Hollywood couple Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin," he continued.

"Ever since I started here, I've been out in the marketplace looking for a celebrity couple with dynamic stories to tell, and when I met Lisa and Harry, it made sense," said Keith Cox, TV Land's executive VP of development and original programming.

Satan went on to say that TV Land executives were currently settling on a name for the still-untitled project, though "Lisa and Harry: Lips and Relationships" and "Kill Yourself Before Watching" were rumored to be contenders.

"Nehehehehe," he added.

• Rinna, Hamlin going to TV Land [THR]

The latest celebrity said to be jumping on the nudie pregnant pictures bandwagon is Nicole Kidman, who was seen yesterday attending a “top secret” modeling session for a potential cover shoot with Frenchy photographer extraordinaire Patrick Demarchelier. While he’s no Annie Leibovitz, and it’s unknown which magazine this shoot was for, Demarchelier is a monthly contributor for Allure, Vogue, and Demi Moore’s old knocked-up-while-nude stomping grounds, Vanity Fair. So whether or not Nicole is looking to appear on an upcoming cover of VF as Demi’s successor is still unknown, but we took a look back at some classic big-bellied celebrity appearances in the past to see some glossy examples of what Kidman will be competing with in the Nude And Pregnant Hall of Fame:

[Warning: What follows is NSFW, and in the case of one Lisa Rinna shot, NSFLunch.]

Lisa Rinna posed much more naked than most in, oddly enough, Playboy for all those guys out there who just can't get off unless their centerfold is very knocked up, and Milla Jovovich posed behind a transparent sheet for Jane's body issue. Monica Belluci has taken it all off for VF before, but it was the Italian edition, which really isn't that big a deal. It's European!

Though she was nowhere near naked, the then-prim Gwyneth Paltrow did bare her pregnant belly for a W cover, while Heidi Klum might as well have been nude for the cover of Vitals while carrying Seal's spawn. And Cindy Crawford looked very Demi indeed, but in a more model-y way, on an older W cover.

Most recently, Christina Aguilera shimmied around a bed for a Marie Claire cover shoot. And of course, Demi Moore initiated the trend on her landmark 1991 Vanity Fair cover. But our favorite (if we really had to pick one) nudie pregnant shoot of all time goes to Britney Spears in Harper's Bazaar, mainly because the 2006 shoot was ironically seen as a surefire way to "come back." If only she'd known there was simply no "way to come back," she wouldn't have had to pose for those drag queeny photos at all.

• NICOLE KIDMAN TO POSE PREGNANT AND NUDE? [Just Jared]

As Letterman's clip gruesomely shows, Rinna not only goofed by congratulating Adams on her Oscar nomination this year (c'mon, even our aunt in Sacramento with no cable knows who was nominated!), but also had no recollection of Amy's nom two years ago for her role in Junebug. Which delightfully reminds us of one of our favorite Defamer clips so far this year, in which Rinna and her shoved-together silicone enhancements cackled along with Casey Affleck on the SAGs carpet. From asking him a very important question regarding what kind of gum he was chewing, to forming her "questions" in the style of "So, I just watched two of your movies, which one do ya think I watched first?", we're left with a teary revolutionary need to form a petition to get Joan back on the air, stat.

• THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN [Official Site]

Vigorously gnawing on a wad of gum as if it were the only thing preventing him from being sucked into a duck-lipped wormhole and spit out into the black void of Rinna's soul, Affleck only offers the brusquest responses to the TV Guide Channel correspondent's run-on questions. The result is a scene of red carpet carnage so grotesque, traumatized producers were forced to miniaturize the image and shuffle it off to the side, filling the screen instead with the relatively comforting pictures of the first human-hued celebrity they could train their cameras on.

• tvguide.com