<![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, lisa marie nowak]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, lisa marie nowak]]> http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/lisamarienowak http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/lisamarienowak <![CDATA[Checking In With America's Favorite Crazy-In-Love Astronaut]]>
· Remember, Lisa Marie Nowak, adult-undergarment-wearing, crazy-in-love astronaut? When Toni Collette finally gets the call for Breaking Orbit: The Lisa Marie Nowak Story, this clip of her asking to be freed of her cumbersome electronic ankle monitor will help the actress more fully inhabit the surefire Emmy-winning role.
· "Hey, that Hannah Montana show/Law & Order: Criminal Intent episode sounds a lot like my idea for a secret-rockstar-in-high-school show/third-place-winning script contest entry!" say aggrieved writers in different stages of the tilting-at-studio-windmills process.
· Don't watch this if you'd like to avoid seeing moving images of Jack Nicholson eating a sandwich while shirtless.
· The Dirty Sanchez crew is including a barf bag with their DVDs; don't be surprised if their stateside competitors decide to up the ante by packaging a fart mask in a special directors' cut of Jackass 2.
· The world held its breath when Katie Holmes nearly fumbled Suri while twisting an ankle in Paris, but quickly exhaled once it saw that her omnipresent baby-retention team was on hand to make sure no harm could come to the infant.

]]> http://gawker.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=293393&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Annals Of No-Brainer TV Development: The Crazy Astronaut Story Optioned]]> - DefamerQuicker than a producer with dreams of made-for-TV glory can yelp, "It's Fatal Attraction meets The Right Stuff, AND...wait for it, wait for it...with adult diapers!" in a pitch room, the rights to a NY Times article about Lisa Marie Nowak story, the astronaut who recently achieved a small amount of notoriety by driving her car 900 miles while wearing the aforementioned adult undergarments to intercept a romantic rival, has been optioned by biosploitation-positive (Pope John Paul II, Identity Theft: The Michelle Brown Story, Murder in the Hamptons) studio Granada America, whose CEO stated the gloriously obvious in making the announcement today:

"The chronicle of Lisa Marie Nowak has had a global impact and contains almost every dramatic element possible," Granada America CEO David Gyngell said Friday. "One could not imagine a more compelling story."

While it is indeed nearly impossible to imagine a more compelling story, we'll have to hope that Granada fights the urge to needlessly embellish it for melodramatic purposes, deciding that inevitable network partner CBS will only be interested if their version of Breaking Orbit: The Lisa Marie Nowak Story features a love-crazed astronaut who ends her diaper-filling 900-mile journey on the site of an imminent shuttle mission, where she's ultimately disarmed of the rocket launcher she's brought along to incinerate both the object of her obsession and her hated competitor mere moments before launch.

UPDATE: As quickly noted in the comments below, the AP has killed this story, stating, "The New York Times says neither the newspaper nor its reporter has or plans a deal with Granada." Still, we're confident that someone's going to announce they've got the rights pretty soon, because this story demands to be told in Movie of the Week format. And soon.

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