Amy is from Oakland via Texas and a "permalancer" for Old Navy. She likes Lady Gaga and would love to dress Leigh Lezark.

Anna is originally from Wisconsin, loves Carla Bruni and worships at the altars of Marc Jacobs, Lanvin and Band of Outsiders.

Anthony hails from Birmingham, Alabama and loves glamour and color.

Ben made dresses that were inspired by different kinds of snakes and would love to design for Rihanna. Keep your eye on this one!

Christiane's originally from Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire, and makes simple dresses using vivid colors. She might go far in this competition.

Emilio's hometown is Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic. He has a background in costume design.

Janeane Marie lives in Portland and is inspired by "earth science and space."

Jay is a visual merchandiser and stylist for the Gap — in the kids' division. He did a really cute happy dance in the casting session when Tim Gunn liked his stuff.

Jesse is from Ohio but lives in Orlando, FL and is an actor as well as a designer. He made a bright blue tulle party dress that no one liked but still made it on the show.

Jesus is originally from Mazatlan, Sinaloa, Mexico. He used to dress up Barbies and used his mom as his model in the casting session. He says he adds "a little touch of grandiosity" to everything.

Jonathan's dream client is Meryl Streep and he loves Galliano. He made shorts with a hideous appliqué on the crotch and was picked anyway.

Maya is 22 and created a collection called Fashism, which is super avant garde. Crazy shapes and orb-like purses with spikes. One to watch!

Mila is inspired by artists Mondiran and Calder; she's into color blocking and loves Halle Berry and Cate Blanchett. She, Emilio and Pamela are the forty-somethings in a show with mostly 20 and 30 somethings.

Pamela's favorite designer is "God." Her dresses are pretty, soft and beautifully constructed, and Tim Gunn thinks "she's on the cusp of something big."

Ping works as a design intern, assistant stylist, model, interpreter, reporter and freelance writer (!!!). She loves "everything asymmetrical." She is a little wacky, and so are her clothes. She's going to be fun to watch.

Last, but not least: Seth Aaron lives in Vancouver but is originally from San Diego and does tough, rocker jackets. He's got 2 kids, a lizard and a dog. His favorite color is black and he fears "getting fat."

So you heard it here first: Keep a fashion eye on Ben, Christiane, Maya and Ping… And be prepared to be entertained by Anthony, Jesus and Jay.

There are photos, casting videos and at-home videos on the site, but be warned: Lifetime's website is THE WORST. It still SUCKS, just like it did last season, and you'll have to sit through those damn "the touch the feel of cotton" commercials over and over if you want to see anything good. It's like they want to drive people away.

The good news is, Season 7 taped over the summer in New York, where it belongs. So I'm looking forward to it!

Project Runway Designers [MyLifetime.com]
Project Runway Season 7 Cast Revealed! [Blogging Project Runway]

• The Wrap reports that Project Runway's move to Lifetime has not quite worked out as Harvey Weinstein and company expected. After a very strong debut, ratings have fallen off more than 20 percent. Worse for Lifetime, having the show on its network, for which it paid a hefty price, has done little for its overall ratings picture. In fact, Lifetime's ratings in the critical 18 - 49 female demo are off 13 percent from last year. On the other hand, after losing its signature show, Bravo's ratings are up this year by 5 percent in the 18- 49 demo, and it had its "best ratings quarter ever this summer." So who is auf now Frau Klum? [The Wrap]

• Anthony Hopkins has signed on to play Thor's dad Odin in the Marvel film adaptation of its comic book series. Chris Hemsworth will star as the thunder god, while Natalie Portman will take on the thankless love interest role. Kenneth Branagh is, amazingly, directing. [Variety]

• And the new Mad Max will be...Charlize Theron. Little is known about the working script, but the Oscar winner will apparently be the front woman in director George Miller's reboot of the classic series. [Variety]

• Sethe MacFarlane's American Dad has been renewed for a sixth season. [Hollywood Reporter]

• Sony reported its fourth straight quarter of losses, although the hurt this past quarter was not as bad as analysts had predicted. The company saw sales fall off another 20 percent overall. The motion picture division saw a "30.4% year-on drop in sales — or 20% on a U.S. dollar basis. But as the NY Times reminded us this weekend, what matters is that Michael and Amy really really like each other. [Variety]

• Tensions flared at the wrap of the theater owner's ShowEast conference over the taking forever rollout of digital technology. The Hollywood Reporter reported, "it sounded more like a threat than a promise when University Mall Theatres' Mark O'Meara kicked off one d-cinema presentation by declaring, 'Digital cinema is here to stay.'" [Hollywood Reporter]

• Prepare yourself for Fish Hooks. The first new animated show to be greenlit by the Disney Channel in three years will soon be tormenting your dreams as it is forced down grown-up America's throats by a nation of over-hyped children. [Hollywood Reporter}

Last night we were back with a "go to Mood and buy some fabric and make a dress" except there was a twist: the fabric had to be blue! Not green or yellow or pink or beige, but blue—the color of lagoons, moons, and your face when you stubbornly yell at Runway to bring back Nina Garcia and they don't listen. They also had to make a holiday dress, which we thought at first meant it was going to be a parade of sweaters with little yarn Santas and bulbous Rudolphs, but the holiday thing, like a Christmas when you live in Who-ville, never came this year. Unless the holiday was Billie Holiday, cause she got some serious blues. Also, death. Poor girl.

So, the designers had to pitch designs to INC, the bargain brand for people who are too fancy to shop at JCPenney or Sears but really enjoy their prices and design aesthetic. It's also the in-house label for Macy's, famous for it's great unused accessory wall, and the people who pay the bills for this fair show. Has Runway ever made you want to go to Macy's or buy INC? That's what we thought. Well, maybe if you spent some money there they could afford to hire real designers and not poach our scared little fellows.

Things We Hated:

• Missing Judges, Week 17: This was the 19 trillionth episode in a row that Nina Garcia Fashion Director of Marie Claire magazine missed. Not only could they not get NGFDMCM, they also couldn't get Vice Principal Glassner. Instead, we got stuck with Second Assistant Headmistress Zanna Roberts, who has a name like a Wonder Twin, but talks like she is the daughter of the cafeteria worker at Hogwarts. We would say that getting stuck with her is like when the President and the Vice President can't come to the funeral and they send the first lady instead, but we would much rather have Michelle Obama sporting couture during our final moments above the ground than Barry or Joe, so we're not going to say that. We'll say that next time Ms. Kors needs a snack, he should eat her.
• The Great Orange Infection of 2009: We are beyond thrilled that Queen Tangerine decided to come back from his villa in Oompah Loompah land, but he seems to have brought with him a very virulent strain of discoloring fever from the Wonka Wilderness. All of the judges were his patented shade of fake tan last night, including Heidi, Assistant Headmistress Roberts, and that lady from INC who can't even wear a blazer that fits. Apparently, she got the Apricot Flu so badly it went to stage two—fashion dementia—because she thought it was OK to wear a cap-sleeved white blazer that won't close over her stomach on national television.
• Neck Doilies: They are just wrong, always.
• Team Challenges: Team challenges like this are the easiest way for mediocre designers to get promoted. So, the five best designs were chosen by the INC lady, which theoretcially means those are the five best designers for the challenge, and they each choose a teammate. You know that the team leaders are always the ones who go home, so the crappier designers who didn't get picked are all safe. Isn't that stupid? Also, if a crappy lady gets stuck with a visionary—like Uli's mom who got dragged across the finish line kicking and screaming by Irina—she gets to stay when someone like Kenley Jr. gets the boot. Not like KJ was any better than Gordana, but she was at least a little bit better. Right?
• Bitchy Tim: Grampa Gunn hates L.A. There is too much sun and people wear flip flops in public and he has to drive a car. It's horrible, and he's taking it out at work. He snapped over leggings, and got bitchy with Kenley Jr for losing her money, and this continues a pattern of our mentor getting a little snippy. Where's our old lovable Grampa G who would give us Werther's Originals and tell us stories about what really goes on back stage at fashion week. Come back!
• Loving Logan: We dumped Logan. This is the second week in a row that we got a montage about how cute he is and whenever all the girls in the work room are around him, all they can do is hang their hands and giggle while covering their mouths going, "I don't know," like he's some handsome stranger asking a group of Japanese schoolgirls for directions on the Tokyo subway. Thinking he's cute is just a cliche.
• Crying!: Hey Chris, we were about to ask you to go steady since we dumped Logan and all, but you have a chin strap beard thing, made a neck doily, and then you cried at judging. This is only acceptable if you are going to have full-scale, blubbering meltdown like season two's Andre. We want no party of your paltry little tears. If you want to make a spectacle, that's fantastic, but trying to hold it back just makes you look pathetic.

Things We Loved:

• Ms. Kors, Our Burnt Sienna Savior: This is why you hired this man in the first place, people, and why he needs to be here every week. He came back from his sabbatical and not only dropped the line about Kenley Jr.'s dress looking like it was attacked by a loofah, but then he totally eviscerates Chris with a simple flick of his limp wrist. Well done, Ms. Kors.
• Irina and Nicolas: While it's still nearly impossible to distinguish Irina from Shirin, the producers have figured out the difference: she's the bitchy one. Almost as bitchy as Nicolas. These are the two they turn two when they need catty comments about the other designers. Neither is as pithy as Jay McCarroll or as egotistically original as Christian Siriano, but their barbs are a welcome distraction from all the lousy design that is going on this season.
• Sorority Wars Commercials: If we have to watch Lifetime's horrible vagina-based advertisements each week (welcome back, lady vitamins), we are glad that the boring promos for Joan Allens very serious Georgia O'Keefe and the Secrets of Lady Flowers Brought to You By Secret have been replaced by this bit of pop trash starring Alison from Melrose Place. That's much more our speed.

In the end, Kenley Jr (nee Louise), was sent home for her misuse of Ruffles. Apparently, Heidi likes pork rinds, Michael Kors is a Doritos man, and Assistant Headmistress Roberts doesn't eat because she works at a fashion magazine. They held the threat of a double elimination over our heads, and we think that we would gave gotten one if, say, Louise and wise old sage Epperson were on the same team, but she was saddled with Fat Kurt Cobain, who won immunity last week, so she was the only one cleaning up her work space.

The winners were Shirin Irina and Gordana whose outfits were just boring enough to actually be in Macy's. Really not one of the looks was overly appealing last night. If you're going to get a boring old brand to pay the bills, you're going to get at least one boring ass challenge each year. Maybe in the future we can have the Gareth Pugh chain mail accessories and dove-shaped hats wall. At least then the designers could make asymmetrical frocks with boobs hanging out.

So, if you want to see some '70s stewardess dresses and Ms. Kors acid tongue, then get yourself to the videos!

Sold My Soul to the Company Store
Context: The designers pitch their ideas to some lady from INC. She smiles and nods and doesn't say much.
Vision: They are going to get international recognition for making a dress that will be sold in Macy's!
Delusion: That they are going to bring their individual talents to a brand that is more like an infinite number of seamstress monkeys at an infinite number of typewriters, and ends up with a bunch of pissed off seamstress monkeys who don't know how to type.
What Would Ms. Kors Say: "She looks like Farrah Fawcett came back from the dead as a brain-dead alcoholic!"
Dramometer: 3

Under the Gunn
Context: Tim Gunn schools Carol Hannah and IrinaShirin on his hatred of leggings.
Vision: That a bitchy quip from Grampa Gunn can cease the tide of skintight trousers.
Delusion: Have you been to New York lately, Tim. They're everywhere! Oh, sorry, you're stuck in L.A. Nevermind.
What Would Ms. Kors Say: "Your legs look like two pork sausages stuffed in an aubergine casing!"
Dramometer: 6

Righteous about Ruffles
Context: Louise is forcing Fat Kurt Cobain to make a dress with ruffles.
Vision: He's taking orders because he has immunity and wants her to fuck up so badly she gets thrown off. Like a Magic Eight Ball with limp hair, Fat Kurt has got some serious vision.
Delusion: That he stands a chance of winning even with her gone.
What Would Ms. Kors Say: "It looks like a loofah attacked your dress!"
Dramometer: 5

Runway Arrogance
Context: Carol Hannah and Irina (Shirin? Oh, who cares...) watch their looks walk down the runway. They are the best of the bunch.
Vision: Retro stewardess is going to be super hot this year. Quick, put your tray table in the upright position and grab a Pan Am bag from the Macy's accessory wall.
Delusion: Not so much.
What Would Ms. Kors Say: "This is very chic. If you got in a time machine and went back to when I was in fashion school and snorting lines of blow with Halston in the bathroom at 54."
Dramometer: 2

Queen Tangerine's Reign of Infamy
Context: Michael Kors shows us how the experts rip apart two outfits in under 45 seconds. Christopher cries.
Vision: That you reinvented the shirt dress.
Delusion: That you can survive Queen Tangerine after her punny wrath has been bottled up due to 978 weeks of absence.
What Would Ms. Kors Say: Watch the damn video! It's a classic.
Dramometer: 9

The Cruelty of Life as Illustrated on Models of the Runway

And that is what we got last night in an episode that was soaked in more estrogen than a barrage of commercials about tampons, pregnancy tests, and The September Issue. Thanks Lifetime. With a lack of Michael Kors (bronzer accident?) and a female replacement judge and a challenge that focused entirely on the unborn twins bathing in the glory of Rebecca Romijn's amniotic fluid, the boys really stood no chance last night, and many of them managed to fail quite spectacularly. It's not easy to make a cute outfit for a discerning lady who played a tranny on network television, especially if you have a penis. In fact we had all ladies in the top three and three nice (gay) gentlemen on the bottom. Is this how Lifetime works? Are they going to kick queers out of the fashion industry one elliptical-machine tightened ass at a time? After last night, we wouldn't blame them.

What We Hate:

• Mitchell: If this kid spent as much time sewing as he did clowning around the work room, maybe he wouldn't have sent a naked model down the runway last week and made a pair of shorts this week that looked like a fabric sling MacGyver would make out of a used poncho, a pile or rubber bands, and some bacon grease. Mitchell, as every reality show contestant ever will tell you: you are not here to make friends, you are here to win. Start acting like it.
• Spell Check: That is our affectionate name for Qristyl, who can't go to Mood without having a conniption. Last week she had to open a pair of scissors and cut her own fabric. This week she littered a table with buttons. Deep cleansing breaths, girl, it's only a fabric store. And if you piss off everyone who works there, they are not going to help you find that champagne organza that you need to make your delusional vision come true. Then you're fucked.
• Hot Tranny Meth's Model Walk: Did you see Johnny (aka Hot Tranny Meth) trying to teach his model how to walk the runway? You are not tall, black, or fierce enough to be Miss J. Stop trying. Your outfit kinda rocked this week though, so we're being kind.
• Monique Lhuillier: The replacement for Michale Kors was way too nice. That bores us. And Nina, who does not like the competition.

What We Love:

• Louise: For some reason, kooky Kenley Jr. reminds us of folk singer Susanne Vega, and that makes us love her. We take back our hatred from last week.
• Logan Shirtless: The everyone-getting-ready montage was back last night, and we got a few fleeting seconds of our beloved without his top on. It was as wonderful as walking the red carpet and having everyone scream your name repeatedly while being blinded by flashbulbs.
• Stella jokes: At one point Ra'Mon made an allusion to last season's punk-rock leatherista Stella Zotis. Genius. However, we're not sure that this is even legal. Doesn't Bravo own her likeness, creativity, and soul in this media and every media not yet created from now until Andy Cohen takes his final dirt nap? You better be careful. One Christian Siriano impersonation, and your ass will get sued!
• Skinny Models, Big Bellies: We haven't seen anything this absurd and wonderful since dropping acid at Cirque du Soleil.
• Rebecca Romijn's Heidi Impersonation: Her flirty/sassy goodbye while leaving the runway with our stalwart host was spot on, totally hilarious, and shows she gets the caricature that is Ms. Klum. We're totally team Rebecca.

In the end, there were some designers who had vision, like Shirin who won for her flowing maroon number with a wonderful waist above the baby bump (the tabloids should be damned for creating annoying alliterative idiom) and a lined jacket, which, in Runway-land means an automatic win. Also of note was our girl Althea, whose full-length navy gown looked like an awning at first, but later was tailored into something that showed off her craft and mode her model look amazing. And yes, Hot Tranny Meth pulled it out with a mid-length grey dress with contrast edging and a crazy goobledigoo on one shoulder.

But there were more who were delusional. Epperson (who we are convinced is mute, because he has not said one thing in two episodes) should have been called out for being two braid buns away from making a pregnant Princess Leia costume. Irina's dress was cute, but it had this crazy thing over half the waist that not only made the bump look huge, but also like the embylical cord was trying to grow up the mother's side. And, of course, crazy Malvin, whose concept for a mother and egg dress was just fat too extreme for the natural world. It would have done much better if it stayed in his head.

For more on that—to the videos!

Meltdown of the Week
Context: Thanks to Mitchell, Ra'mon realizes that the dress he is making is a piece of shit. He can't handle Mitchell's teasing, which he then tries to cover up with lies about how good it looks. Like Mitchell should be saying anything, because his outfit is even worse. But they laugh. Oh, these two will giggle all the way to the apocalypse.
Vision: That maybe highlighting a pregnant lady's belly with bright purple fabric wasn't the best idea.
Delusion: That maybe the judges won't notice.
What Would Nina Say?: "I noticed that your model's belly is covered in purple fabric."
Dram-ometer: 4

Under the Gunn
Context: Crazy gay installation artist Malvin would much rather make a fabric sculpture than, you know, something that a real human can wear. He comes up with chickens and eggs as a symbol for pregnant ladies. Oh, Malvin. Tim schools him, and he realizes that the only acceptable time for jodhpurs is the fox hunting number in Mame.
Vision: That listening to Tim Gunn can save him. A very wise vision.
Delusion: That his creation was worth saving.
What Would Nina Say?: "The point of clothing is to have something to wear."
Dram-ometer: 3

Runway Arrogance
Context: Despite realizing that he's making a piece of shit, Ra'mon is momentarily blinded by the apostrophe in his name and thinks that he might actually win, because his piece is different.
Vision: Doing something outside the norm will set him apart.
Delusion: Believing the reason that other people's ensembles all look the same isn't because they're doing something right, but because they are boring and that he will triumph for being a visionary. Sorry, Ra'mon. Too much delusion, not enough vision.
What Would Nina Say?: "Just because you are different doesn't make you right."
Dram-ometer: 7

Runway Arrogance Justified
Context: Shirin watches her winning creation march to victory.
Vision: Make a flattering dress, build a jacket and line it. And don't make people hate you while doing it.
Delusion: None here. Gold stars all around for Shirin.
What Would Nina Say?: Nina never gives praise. She just bows her head in acknowledgment.
Dram-ometer: There's is no drama in a home run.

Back Talk
Context: Malvin thinks the judges care about what he has to say as opposed to the clothing he just made. It is a lackluster defense, because he knows he's doomed.
Vision: If he explains, they will get it, and put him on the cover of Elle Marie Claire.
Delusion: See above.
What Would Nina Say?: See for yourself!
Dram-ometer: 3

The Cruelty of Live as Chronicled on Models of the Runway

And now we have sixteen more delusional visionaries who think they were picked merely for their talent and now for how much drama they'll bring to television. As has become the custom, the initial challenge on everyone's favorite fashion throwdown was for each designer to show off his or her unique viewpoint. They each had to make a dress that could be worn on the red carpet. This had something to do with a lame tie-in with the Emmys, possibly in the hope that one day this show will stop The Amazing Race's run of tyranny in the competitive reality category and take home a trophy of its own so that Harvey Weinstein can have one more bauble of validation.

With 16 contestants, it's hard to get to know each of them intimately (this episode seemed to miss our favorite feature of each episode: the barely-clothed, getting ready in the morning montage), but of course we have our snap judgments.

Who we hate:

• Qrystil: It is pronounced "crystal." We hereby dub her "Spell Check." Why do reality show contestants insist on spelling their names like drag queens? And you better watch out Epperson. Mr. One-Name-Like-Cher is our radar.
• Louise: She is Kenley part two. So far, she has managed to keep her cat in the bag. And it's a retro bag she bought at Beacon's Closet. We liked her modernist flapper dress and that makes us hate her even more.
• Nicolas: He says everyone in New York calls him the "feather prince." We live in New York and we do not. We call him a jackass. And if you say that everyone calls you something, they do not, you are trying to make it happen. Your name is Fetch. You will not happen.
• Anyone Who Says "Old Hollywood Glamor": There are two of you out there. You know who you are. And if OHG were so fucking great, it would still be in fashion. Now we just have some horrible simulacrum Rachael Zoe dictates, and she knows OHG like she knows a sandwich. Stop chasing it and find something of your own.
• Joan Cusack: The commercials for your Lifetime movie made us cry for you and put Working Girl in our Netflix cue.

Who we Love :

• Irina: We picked her as a finalist before we met her. We would be friends with her in real life and pick on people's outfits in the mall.
• Malvin: He is full of both vision and delusion, which makes him the perfect Runway contestant. Also, he is going to be a major font of bitchiliciousness for the coming season. Until he get's kicked out. We want him to come in sixth, mostly due to the fact that he stole Sanjaya's hair.
• Mood L.A.: Though it looks glam on TV, the NY fabric store is hard to find, harder to get to, and about as cramped as the doorway to a house party when all the coke runs out. This place is a giant maze of gauzy fabrics and we want to frolic there naked with Logan. We don't love Logan—but we'd bone him.

In the end, there were some designers that had vision: Althea, with her shimmering sheath with a feathered bodice, and Ra'mon-Lawrence, who was spared from the ridiculous name police only because he cooked up a slick, asymmetrical full-length gown that looked like it would have been Amy Adam's second choice to wear to the Oscars.

Of course, there was plenty of delusion: Carol Hannah's overdone monstrosity looked like a golem come to life out of clay to devour E! reporters on the red carpet and Shirin's transformer caplet-into-a-gown doohickey looks like it escaped a craft show just in time to make it onto television.

Christopher won with a short flared gown that reminds us of a pile of crushed VHS tapes that has been sprinkled with fairy dust and brought to life as a ballerina. Ari (a Samantha Ronson look-alike, who got kicked off by Lindsay Lohan, of all people) was kicked off for being the seasonal New-Agey contestant who doesn't sketch and likes to feel what the fabric is telling her before sewing.

For the rest of the story, let us go to the tape!

PS—As for Models of the Runway it is a horrible abomination. In it, a bunch of girls wander around talking about "my designer" like he's some unseen sugar daddy who "lives in Canada" but doesn't really exist. Their fate is completely dependent on the talent and whims of another, and when those talented, privileged few are done sucking them of their youth and beauty for their own gain, they toss the ladies back into obscurity without a second thought. It is exactly like life and therefore awful to behold. We will speak of it no more—but we will continue to bring you clips.

Meltdown of the Week
Context: Johnny is a former meth addict. He wants you to know because that is the first thing he told his fellow designers. Now he says he can't deal with the pressure without drugs. Then he wants to give up. Oh Johnny, we bet you were much more fun high. After a few hugs and encouragement from Grandpa Gunn (we believe he faked the whole thing to get a grope) he goes on to design one of the judge's favorite gowns.
Vision: That a competitive reality television program will give him that warm-on-the-insidiness that he used to get from meth.
Delusion: That his overcoming addiction is the only interesting thing about him.
What Will Nina Say?: "Oh, suck it up, Johnny. My coked up interns do better on deadline!"
Dram-ometer: 9

Making it Work
Context: Mitchell made a dress before measuring his model. When she ends up being bigger than advertised, he claims he didn't have time to redo it. It's the old fat model excuse! He gets his dress finished someone, and doesn't get kicked off.
Vision: A cross between Geena Davis' wedding dress in Beetlejuice and vomit.
Delusion: That they would have liked the original version.
What Will Nina Say?: "If I wanted to see nipples, I would have looked at Lindsay Lohan sitting next to me."
Dram-ometer: 5

Under the Gunn
Context: Every week, Grandpa Gunn comes around and gives everyone advice. Every week they ignore him. Every week the judges say the same things Tim says. He's always right. Don't fight it, Ari. Unless you change your outfit, it's over.
Vision: Making something too avante garde for Tim Gunn.
Delusion: That this man is fallible.
What Will Nina Say?: "How could you let this be seen? Did you not get any guidance?"
Dram-ometer: 0 (it's not drama if it happens all the time)

Runway Arrogance
Context: Spell Check has designed an absolute piece of crap. Watch her think that she actually has a chance of winning as it marches down the runway.
Vision: A bottle of grape soda on an acid trip.
Delusion: That the judges were going to like this.
What Will Nina Say?: Nothing. She will set this dress aflame with her mind.
Dram-ometer: 3

Back Talk
Context: Just watch Nina's face as she asks Ari, "What red carpet is she walking?"
Vision: That if she explains her man-eating silver soccer ball, that someone will get it.
Delusion: No one understands her because she is so forward thinking. She may not be entirely wrong.
What Will Nina Say?: Watch the clip, already.
Dram-ometer: 4

The Cruelty of Life as Chronicled on Models of the Runway

Well, you can expect pretty much the same. Heidi will speak with her telephone operator of doom voice, Tim Gunn will gather the kids around, fashion dominatrix Nina Garcia Fashion Director of Elle Marie Claire magazine will say something bitchy, and Michael Kors will cackle his little cackle and all the children will run and hide.

Of course, they are now in L.A. at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising instead of Parsons and there's a new magazine sponsor (way to get fired, Nina!), but they will still shop at Mood and send the models to that palace of beauty, the L'Oreal Paris Makeup Room. Oh, and let us not forget about the All-Star Challenge before the premiere with all of your favorite returning contestants, and the new show Models of the Runway which follows the runway drones do something other than show off the designs. Just what, we're still not sure.

The only variable is always the contestants, who we'll all probably hate tomorrow, except for the ones we love, and we will hate them by the middle of next week.

Speaking of contestants, the finalists' collections were already shown at Fashion Week last February, so the whole world has already seen them (and you can too). There are only three, which means there is no fourth collection to throw off the dogs about who is in and who is out, or in a cruel twist of fate, there are only two finalists and Lifetime has outsmarted us all. We have a hard time believing that.

So, we peeped the looks and compared them to the designer's portfolio's on the show's site and we think we have sussed out just who we're going to be stuck with until the skinny lady sings.

Collection 1: Lots of knits and black pants and leggings. Zero color. There's a bit of inventive draping, but there are also those stupid little gloves that don't even go to the wrist. It belongs to:

Logan Neitzel, lover of John Galliano. He uses the same shiny fabrics, muted colors and over-sized flourishes. Plus, he looks like the kind of boy who would love those stupid gloves.

Collection 2: Lots of draping without a bow, flounce, belt, or asymetrical doo-dad over one shoulder that it doesn't like. It belongs to:

Viviane Westwood wannabe Althea Harper, who uses just as much embellishment and loves something over only one shoulder. Just look at the picture.

Collection 3: It is black like the tortured heart of a poet. There are lots of pants and shredded things. Oh, and stupid hats. It belongs to:

Irinia Shabayeva, who channels Jean Paul Gaultier. She also loves black, and pants and crazy-shaped pants. Though, she does look too fabulous for those hats.

Of course it's Lifetime's fault. It's the exact same show, other than the fact it's set in L.A. and now on Lifetime. Sure, the show's new network is advertising the design competition's debut in magazines and subway cars and on television, but it's not getting the traction that Bravo's campaigns always did—possibly because the ads only show host Heidi Klum and the show's mentor/mascot Tim Gunn, and not any of the contestants. Even though the finale for season six has already been filmed, it seems like we know nothing about the new batch of designers that will be bitching about bobbins starting Thursday.

Also, Bravo knew how to bring the mania up to a fever pitch. They would advertise a new season relentlessly and show marathons of previous seasons for entire weekends getting the fans back in the mood. Lifetime doesn't have that luxury. Also, we spend a lot of time watching Bravo (hello, various Housewives, Flipping Out, Top Chef, and Andy Cohen) and only tune into Lifetime to catch the odd Golden Girls rerun. Even if they did have spots for the new season, we wouldn't see them.

And just today, the channel that specializes in television for women (and gay men), sent out a press release alerting the world that Runway has a MySpace page. MySpace?! Is it 2005? A show about fashion can not afford to be out of touch. It's all about Facebook and Twitter these days. Oh, speaking of Facebook, Lifetime's version of the show is on there and has 25,413 fans whereas the Bravo seasons have 122,534 fans. Burn.

Lifetime just doesn't seem to have the street cred to carry this thing off. No matter what they do, their Runway will always be a knock off purse compared to Bravo's Louis Vuitton. It may look the same, smell the same, and even have the same logo, but we all know it came from Canal Street and there is nothing you can do to sell it as the real thing.

Or, as a huge fan of the show more succinctly told us when asked if he was excited about the new show: "L.A.? Lifetime? No."

EW.com reports that Paula's first post-resignation gig will be guest spot on Ugly Betty. She'll play a temp secretary who bonds with ditzy receptionist Amanda, who is basically Paula Abdul in a headset. Before then, she'll guest star on Drop Dead Diva, Lifetime's show about a woman who dies and finds herself without a job on America's most popular TV show, we mean, trapped in the body of a fat lawyer. Anyway, both sound ridiculous.

But the news today is that ABC wants more out of her than a guest starring role. Network head wants her not as a judge, but as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars and possibly with a show all her own. Oh, we can only dream!

Oh, and the New York Times reveals today that Paula left American Idol because of money concerns and because she never felt like she was appreciated. But then again, you knew that already.

The channel announced today that the Project Runway All-Star Challenge two-hour special will air on Thursday, August 20, right before the first episode of the sixth season of Bravo's former crown jewel and the first episode of Models of the Runway, their ill-fated attempted to beat Tyra Banks at picking America's next top clothes hanger.

Being devotees of the program, of course we have opinions about the returning cast as Tim Gunn tells them to "gather 'round" once more.

Daniel Vosovic, Season 2: Best known as the chic but unseasoned designer who won nearly every challenge his season. His clothes are as cute as he is. Odds on winning: 2-1

Santino Rice, Season 2: The greasy villian and yard sale impresario was taking interesting risks when he wasn't designing something that looked like maroon goose vomit. Odds on winning: 10-1

Jeffrey Sebelia, Season 3: The only winner to return, this tattoo-necked jerk combined rock 'n' roll and couture. We always thought he combined ug and ly, but the judges liked it. Odds on winning: 3-2

Uli Herzner, Season 3: Her flowing gowns already lost to Sebelia once, but we always thought she never got the respect she deserved. Odds on winning: 10-1

Mychael Knight, Season 3: The fan favorite was a shoo-in to win his season before his ghetto-tastic final collection shit the bed. Now he's got something to prove. Odds on Winning: 15-1

Chris March, Season 4: He got kicked off and came back only to take his human hair dresses to the final. This big boy with a big laugh won't win, but he'll be our favorite. Odds on Winning: 30-1

Sweet P, Season 4: How did she ever make it to the final? Yeah, she was charming and some of her baby doll dresses were cute, but we don't remember a single thing she made, except her frequent tears. Odds on Winning: 40-1

Korto Momolu, Season 5: She was the biggest surprise of her class, and we have a feeling that she has been thinking up some great ideas while she was sitting at home plotting her fashion revenge. Odds on Winning: 5-1

NBC Universal, The Weinstein Company and Lifetime have resolved their disputes. The Weinstein Company will pay NBCU for the right to move Project Runway to Lifetime. All of the parties are pleased with the outcome. Harvey Weinstein added, "I want to personally congratulate Jeff Zucker and NBCU on their success in the litigation and thank Jeff for resolving this in a professional manner. We look forward to working together on our ongoing projects."

So this means that the in-question sixth season will actually see the light of day on ladynet Lifetime, though no premiere date has been announced. But still ladies and their gays can breathe some sigh of relief, even if the show had been flailing in recent seasons.

Just to prove that this probably isn't some weird inside-industry April Fools' Day joke (or to trick us more!), Bravo (where the show used to air before the Weinsteins cruelly yanked it away), released info this morning about their new fashion design competition series, The Fashion Show. It's basically the same show, except Isaac Mizrahi and Destiny's Child singer Kelly Rowland are hosting, instead of Heidi and Tim.

Nicole Kidman, plastic bee-stung actress of floundering status, has joined Woody Allen's next movie. Also on board are Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Naomi Watts, Antonio Banderas, and Freida Pino. Generally Allen's more star-studded movies turn out to be the worst ones (with the exception of Everyone Says I Love You), so this doesn't bode well. [Variety] Meanwhile the so totally still likable Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz are said to be on board a James Mangold-directed movie about a luckless lady love loser who meets a mysterious stranger on a blind date. The movie was originally going to star Eva Mendes and Chris Tucker, so that should speak to its quality. [Variety]

The top 35 ad-based cable networks—Fox News, Food Network, Cartoon Network—are up 7% this year in ratings. Fox, for example, averages a depressing 1.7 million households, up 22% from the same quarter last year. Though other networks like MTV and Lifetime have seen drops, 16% and 12% respectively. Makes sense to us. What with the economy and all, no one has time to pay attention to things like music and women. [Variety]

Hm. Noted conservative 24 producer Joel Surnow (who is responsible for this) is penning a 10-hour miniseries called The Kennedys, which will dig into "the soiled and crooked steps" that the family took to insinuate themselves into the White House. A Canadian distributor plans to shop the idea around Cannes in May. Good luck finding actors! Though, I bet Bruce Willis would look fabulous in a wig and pillbox hat. [Variety]

Area hottie boombalottie Ian Somerhalder (Boone from Lorst) has been cast in a CW pilot called Vampire Diaries. He plays a vampire who is fun one minute, evil the next. And nude. Hopefully nude. [Variety] Former hottie boombalottie Orlando Bloom will be featured in the last unproduced screenplay by the late playwright Horton Foote. He'll play a small town North Carolina policeman. Also joining him in the cast is Andrew McCarthy. [THR]

Donald Sutherland will star in The Eastmans for CBS. [THR] Isaiah Washington is lined up to star in that Lou Rawls biopic everyone's been clamoring for. [THR] The comic American Jesus, about a modern-day bout between the Savior and the Antichrist, may be adapted into a film by X-Men director Matthew Vaughn. [THR]

Tim Gunn talked to New York to reveal exactly how the show will go on without spoiling the eventual, held-hostage season to come:

How is this show going to work?
You'll see the whole construct of it, but needless to say, the designers whose collections are presented will not be presenting their collections THEMSELVES, because then everyone would know who they are.

Oh.
So you'll see collections from extremely talented people, but you won't be able to place the designer with the collection.

So it's just going to be a bunch of clothes?
Yeah. But not unlike any fashion show, except that you know it's Diane Von Furstenberg or Carmen Marc Valvo. In this case, you'll see the number of collections we present, but you won't know whose is whose. [...]

So it seems like no one will be able to go backstage, because then they'd see the designers, correct?
Let me put it this way: We could put all the designers in front of you in a room. You wouldn't know who they are.

Great, just what Project Runway needed: Lost-ian flash forwards that make us comb for clues all season to determine which sassy, skinny gays will put together the collections we've already seen. Add some nosebleeds, a confused Heidi Klum asking, "When are we?" and the smoke monster supplanting Fern Malis as the final judge, and we'll finally have the answer to the eternal question of "What exactly is the island?" (Manhattan, of course.)

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• Tim Gunn Just As Confused About Project Runway As We Are [New York]

• Tracking 'Running in Heels'.... BlackBook News... Clive Owen Feted... [WWD]

A judge has granted NBC Universal a preliminary injunction that prevents the Weinstein Co. from moving Project Runway from NBCU-owned Bravo to Lifetime next year.

"NBC Universal is pleased that the court granted our motion for a preliminary injunction against The Weinstein Company," the media powerhouse said in a statement.

"The overwhelming evidence demonstrated that The Weinstein Company violated NBC Universal's right of first refusal to future cycles of Project Runway. After hearing all of the evidence, the court issued an order prohibiting The Weinstein Company from taking the show or any spin-off to Lifetime."

There has been no word yet from the brothers Weinstein, who have stood by the legitimacy of their actions, while NBCU insisted that the producers were contractually obligated to give Bravo right of refusal before shopping the show to other networks.

Will this be a "make it work" moment for Harvey Weinstein, or will Season 6's first casualty be the footage already shot for Lifetime? One thing is for sure: this story's already got more wrinkles than the crotch of a pair of Kenley-made pants.

• Denied! Bravo Prevents Project Runway Takeoff [E!]

After the jump: Ben Affleck loses his job, Billy Crystal reclaims his own, and the world contemplates another Star Wars movie.

· Ben Affleck is in talks to star as a downsized corporate hack in Company Men, which we're told calls for a second male lead as well. Matt Damon casting bets are currently paying 2:3. [THR]
· After a six-year hiatus, Billy Crystal will return to the big screen opposite Dwayne Johnson in Tooth Fairy. [Variety]
· On the heels of Capote the Hutt, would George Lucas dare to adapt the new Star Wars video game as an animated feature? On second thought, please don't answer that. [Hero Complex]
· CBS and ABC were up, Heroes was down on the fall TV season's opening night. [Variety]
· Sony is keeping the plot for its newly optioned feature White Dad "under wraps." Meanwhile, the aggressively quick thinkers at Lifetime are angling for a Latino Babysitter MOW sequel as we speak. [THR]

In "Untitled Fat Friends Project," a new five episode special docu-series, follows friends Anna Lloyd (30, Pasadena, CA), Lydia Moody (25, Los Angeles, CA), Megan Stewart (29, Anaheim, CA), Shawna McClellan (27, Anaheim, CA) and Morgan Lancaster (30, Monrovia, CA), as they attempt to loose [sic] weight together.

They've enabled each other's weight problems to escalate for over half a decade, but now, they finally have the courage to transform their lives together. Each has their own reasons for wanting to lose the pounds, but all have one common goal to look their very best at Anna's upcoming wedding. With the help of professional fitness trainer Jessie Pavelka, each woman will change her eating and exercise habits over the course of 90 days. They will also have the opportunity to heighten their self-esteem and work through the issues that lead them to their weight gain with the help of psychotherapist Stacy Kaiser.

While we think the concept has potential—to say nothing of setting the stage nicely for more specialized future iterations like Untitled Fat Friend And Fatter Friends Who Make Fat Friend Feel Better About Herself Project—we still think audiences won't warm to the show until it's properly branded with an official name. And nothing insensitive like Sisterhood of the Traveling Muumuu! It needs something fun and sassy, like Plus-Sized Besties or The Lunch Bunch, or maybe something just a touch sentimental, like The Way to the Heart or All-You-Can Love Buffet.

• LIFETIME TELEVISION ANNOUNCES EXPANSION OF DAYTIME PROGRAMMING WITH DIVERSE SLATE OF NEW UNSCRIPTED ORIGINALS [Lifetime via thefutoncritic.com]
• Plus-Size Sideshow [NY Times]

Boomp3.com

Recently exiled Extra host Mark McGrath announced his plans to get revenge on Mario Lopez, the newly minted host of the show he recently vacated. McGrath got the idea when he left the popular watering hole, Crown Bar, and saw a giant sign for acting lessons. McGrath said, "If he's going to steal my hosting gigs, then I'm going to steal his acting gigs. So, get ready to see my lovely face all over Lifetime. I'm going to be your worst nightmare. I'm going to be your own personal Nedick."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pic]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.