Gawker: defamer, letter from the editor

Letting The Lunatics Run The Asylum

Seth — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 12:52:09 EDT

We knew something was up when on Friday, Mark, a glassy and far-away look in his eyes, pushed himself from his desk, quietly exited Defamer HQ, walked several blocks to a high-traffic intersection, then burst out into song as cars whizzed by him. (What song is not important, but if you guessed the shattering power-ballad "This Is The Moment" from Jekyll & Hyde: The Musical, you weren't wrong.) It was only once he started shedding himself of his clothes—this "infernal, eco-unfriendly human packaging!" as he referred to them—and chased a tabby cat through a neighboring yard that we began to suspect that what Mark needed, after three mostly uninterrupted years on the Defamer beat, was a vacation. And while we were concerned we wouldn't find something suitably relaxing at the last minute, as luck would have it, a Rosie O'Donnell Lesbian Family Fun Cruise was departing this morning for an Alaskan whale-watching expedition. Just what the doctor ordered!

In the meantime, you'll have myself at your disposal, updating you to the best of my abilities on the latest depressing developments on the movie star suicide-attempt beat. But wait! Before you decide that this would make a great week to have your hard drive defragmented, we also have for your productivity-reducing enjoyment none other than Go Fug Yourself's Heather Cocks, who filled in for me earlier this month, and who regularly thrills millions by plunging a figurative stitching awl into the seams of Hollywood's most sartorially challenged.

So please help me send off Mark in style, and warmly welcome Heather back. And remember: Labor Day is only a week away. Let's make the most of what's left of the summer.

Seth

P.S. Kindly redirect any tips you might have typically sent directly to Mark to seth@defamer.com or to the regular tips inbox. Thanks!

Coming Back To An Empty Defamer Home

Seth — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 13:35:10 EDT

Greetings, friends. Defamer associate editor Seth here, back from my week-long side-gig punching up the script for Feed The Bears II: The Bears Are Still Hungry!. I'm quite proud of my work, having significantly heightened the drama of the glutton-fetish original through the introduction of an interfaith couple, who struggle to indulge their lustiest bear appetites while adhering to strict religious dietary guidelines. The double-DVD set ("Disc 1: Milk," "Disc 2: Meat") should hit stores by September.

In the meantime, we bid a fond farewell to guest editor Heather Cocks of Go Fug Yourself fame for another extraordinary run in the Defamer sidecar. We also, quite regretfully, must inform you that Mark—whom we long suspected was completely and miraculously impervious to illness—has finally succumbed to a dreadful summer cold. Let us make a quiet prayer for his recovery, and soldier on.

Say Hello To My Little Fug

Mark — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 12:52:27 EDT

As is his wont, Defamer associate editor Seth gave me very little notice of the vacation he was embarking on beginning today, casually calling me up last night with the flimsy excuse that he'd accepted a week-long gig punching up the script for Feed The Bears II: The Bears Are Still Hungry!, a sequel to the ursine-glutton fetish classic rushed into production following the original film's unexpected exposure on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Whatever he's actually doing for the next seven days, I trust he will return refreshed next Monday, with plenty of amusing, completely fabricated stories about how the talent kept botching his favorite scene, in which two of his burly stars gnaw on opposite ends of a succulent watermelon.

In the meantime. we've once again convinced Heather Cocks, 50 percent of the Go Fug Yourself fashion-decimating juggernaut, to fill in. Be nice to her and by the end of the week she may show us all the "Ryan Seacrest is a pussy" tattoo she got on a dare after doing too many tequila shots during E!'s Golden Globes red carpet coverage.

—Ed.