Gawker: defamer, les moonves

Les Moonves' Daydream, on Canvas

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 11:24:02 EST

Look, it's the portrait of CBS boss Les Moonves and his wife Julie Chen that hangs in their den. It shows various hangers-on toasting the couple as Les is maybe getting a hand job? [NYT]

Les Moonves Confident 'CSI' Will Crush Leno: 'By A Lot'

Seth — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 13:32:50 EST

As Jeff Zucker foists his last hopes for NBC on Leno and his arsenal of funny newspaper-clipping typos, his arch nemesis—future galactic despot Les Moonves—couldn't help but engage in a favorite pastime:

An old-fashioned, TV honcho dick-measuring contest! Talking today at the same New York media conference where Zucker dropped jaws by announcing his plan to scale back on programming hours, Moonves temporarily blinded the audience with a smile, before pledging that it wouldn't be long before David Caruso would be scraping Leno off the bottom of his Italian loafers. THR reports:

"I'm here to tell you the model ain't broke," Moonves told the UBS conference late Wednesday morning. "You can still make a lot of money in network television. We like 10 o'clock shows."

"For NBC, probably a very good move," Moonves said. "For us, it wouldn't be a good move. We are winning four of five nights at 10 p.m." [...]

"I would bet anyone who would like to bet that 'CSI: Miami' will beat Jay by a lot," Moonves said. "Remember: by a lot."

Probably true, but that doesn't make it any less satisfying to hear—almost as satisfying as the image it conjures of a beet-red Zucker submitting to a stress-reducing neck massage from Ben "Magic Fingers" Silverman, who comfortingly whispers, "Shhhhh...Just focus on Jay's chin...We're golden, J.Z., golden..." into his ear.

Moonves on NBC's Leno move: 10 p.m. 'ain't broke' [THR]

CBS Not Reinventing The Sitcom And Cop Show Wheel Here, Folks

Seth — Wed, 14 May 2008 13:00:00 EDT

Following a detour in last season's CBS programming strategy which saw the network throw a few wackier ideas against the fridge to see what stuck (Drac Steele, Vampire P.I. and The Singing Venetian, Hugh Jackman's addition to the musical-casino genre, were what stuck), it seems they have returned to the dependability of laugh-tracks and procedurals for the fall 2008-09 season. At their upfronts announcement this morning at their New York offices, Les Moonves and trusty commandantes Nina Tassler and Kelly Kahl made official their last-minute, 22-episode order of The New Adventures of Old Christine, the unlikely story of what happens when Elaine loses her balls and spends the majority of her leisure time bickering with her ex-husband and his new girlfriend. Following them on Wednesdays is a new sitcom, Project Gary, starring Jay Mohr, while another new, single-camera comedy, Worst Week, joins the Monday night lineup, alongside all the wisecracking nerd-geniuses and Britney guest spots you've come to expect.

Procedural goodness after the jump!

As for dramas, Tassler explained, "We do very well with our procedurals, but we've added more character to them." Translation: Expect an oblique reference to an affair between two CSI cast members over the break that will be all but forgotten about by episode three. With Drac Steele, Vampire P.I. (OK, fine, it's called Moonlight) thrown a fistful of holy water in the face by Moonves moments before the future galactic despot plunged a CBS-branded letter-opener through its heart, The Ex List—aka CGI: Clingy Girlfriend Investigators—swoops in to take its place. Also on the schedule, Jerry Bruckheimer's Eleventh Hour, "about a science professor who helps solve crimes," and The Mentalist, starring Simon Baker as "deceptive celebrity psychic" who "puts his observational skills to better use working for law enforcement." That's totally mental! All your CSI friends (minus Gary Dourdan) will be back, and, somewhat miraculously, you won't be seeing Without A Trace on the side of any milk cartons, for it has survived another season.

The full CBS Fall 2008/09 Lineup:

Monday
8-8:30 p.m. The Big Bang Theory
8:30-9 p.m. How I Met Your Mother
9:-9:30 p.m. Two and a Half Men
9:30-10 p.m. Worst Week (new)
10-11 p.m. CSI: Miami

Tuesday
8-9:00 p.m. NCIS
9-10 p.m. The Mentalist (new)
10-11 p.m. Without a Trace

Wednesday
8-8:30 p.m. The New Adventures of Old Christine
8:30-9 p.m. Project Gary (new)
9-10 p.m. Criminal Minds
10-11 p.m. CSI: NY

Thursday
8-9 p.m. Survivor
9-10 p.m. CSI
10-11 p.m. Eleventh Hour (new)

Friday
8-9 p.m. Ghost Whisperer
9-10 p.m. The Ex-List (new)
10-11 p.m. Numbers

Saturday
8-9 p.m. Crimetime Saturday
9-10 p.m. Crimetime Saturday
10-11 p.m. 48 Hours: Mystery

Sunday
7-8 p.m. 60 Minutes
8-9 p.m. The Amazing Race
9-10 p.m. Cold Case
10-11 p.m. The Unit

CBS returns to crime, comedy roots [THR]

Mel Gibson To Don His Actor's Hat Once More

Seth — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:20:00 EDT

· Mel Gibson has signed on for his first acting job since Signs and We Were Soldiers back in 2002. In Edge of Darkness, a feature based on a BBC miniseries from the '80s, he'll play "a straitlaced police investigator whose activist daughter is killed, probably by the Jews." [Variety]
· Could one-half of the lusty network coupling responsible for siring struggling, bastard offspring The CW be missing their former identity? Warner Bros. just launched TheWB.com, where you can catch streamed episodes of old programming and newly launched online series. [Variety]

· Tom Wolfe's sex-at-college novel I Am Charlotte Simmons (how's that for distilling 752 pages into one compound modifier?) will be directed by music video vet Liz Friedlander, to be eventually followed by Medusa's Pom Pom, a tell-all exposé detailing what went wrong behind the scenes of the box office dud. [THR]
· Closing arguments in the Pellicano trial begin today. [THR]
· Les Moonves pledged this morning that Showtime "would not miss a beat," despite having lost output deals with Paramount, MGM and Lionsgate to a new, yet-to-be-named premium cable channel, as that decision has effectively "freed up $300 million" to lavish on "more original programming like the one with all the lesbians going at it." [THR]

Viacom PR Admits 'Public Crapping' May Not Bode Well For New Pay Network

STV — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:25:00 EDT

The week that started with Les Moonves and Phillipe Dauman kickboxing in Sumner Redstone's corporate steel cage will apparently end with Dauman retreating to his corner of the Viacom boardroom for medical attention. Or at least that's the impression we glean from today's gloom-and-doom survey of the Great Pay-Cable Cockfight of 2008, during which Paramount broke off from cousin network Showtime after failing to renegotiate an output deal for its titles. On their own now with partners Lionsgate and MGM/UA, even Viacom/Paramount flacks acknowledge finding little comfort in the TV wild:

The marketplace reaction to the fourth feevee was predictable: Who needs it?

"On its merits," says Rob Stengel, cable consultant and a principal of the Boston-based Continental Consulting Group, "I don't think you'll be able to find any distributors jumping up and down with eagerness to get their hands on another pay TV network."
Cable ops and satellite distributors "are crapping all over the idea in public," says a Viacom spokesman, "but privately, the early discussions are promising."

Oh, really? OK, then! Seeing as we apparently take everything publicists say at face value around here, we also pick up on what they don't say: specifically, as Variety's John Dempsey also notes today, the joint 'Mount/Lionsgate/MGM press release from last weekend bore no mention of a single cable company who had agreed to broadcast the channel. But seeing as that's the biggest public crap they could have taken so far — well, that, and not having jumped when Viacom said so — we figure the next round of battles can only go better for the dinged-up Dauman. We wish him luck!

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

Showtme-Viacom Split Feeds Drama [Variety]

Paramount, Showtime, CBS Spend Weekend Fighting in Grandpa Sumner Redstone's Sandbox of Death

STV — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:00:00 EDT

While most of us fled the office to enjoy early spring, Sumner Redstone spent another relaxing weekend watching his corporate children at Viacom gouge each others' eyes out. And this time around he got his money's worth, with Paramount finally breaking free from CBS/Showtime to start its own pay-cable and VOD service with MGM and Lionsgate. It's an untidy, somewhat shocking scenario that we (and seemingly the rest of the Web) can't yet make sense of, but join us after the jump to parse the winners and losers at a glance.

In the end, the studios just wanted more for their films' pay-cable rights than Showtime was willing to pay. This much was somewhat old news; Viacom and Paramount haven't quite seen eye-to-eye with CBS boss Les Moonves and Showtime chief Matt Blank for some time. The vertical integration implied by their output deals — Showtime had rights to Paramount releases through the end of 2007 — was less a function of convenience than an increasingly forced pairing, especially as Showtime's original programming (Weeds, Dexter, The Tudors) took off over the last few years. Showtime's output deals with MGM and Lionsgate — booked through the end of this year — were just as fragile in the Redstone and Viacom CEO Phillipe Dauman's volatile corporate culture.

Nikki Finke was first on the scene when news broke on Sunday:

Moonves wanted to drastically cut the price for Paramount pics, arguing that "the pay channel world isn't what it used to be" and the value of movies on pay TV has decreased while the importance of hot new scripted original series have increased. I'm told that, as the bargaining dragged on, the Paramount/Viacom camp, once optimistic that it would all work out, lost patience with Moonves' "hard line" and resented being lowballed. Now it looks like Les over-negotiated because Paramount, MGM and Lionsgate have found refuge thanks to Viacom. This new premium TV channel by Viacom, Paramount, MGM and Lionsgate is that old Hollywood maxim at work: Don't get mad. Get even.

Well, yeah. One observer told Finke that Moonves is "royally screwed" — for starters, there are no studios left on the market for output deals. A defiant Blank, however, is standing tall this morning in Variety:

"We're not willing to sell our network down the river for product that's not as valuable as it used to be," he said. "We wish them well. ...
"We've been having unbelievable success with our original programming," Blank said. "Can you name one movie Showtime has aired in the last three years? But people sure do know The Tudors and Californication and Dexter and Weeds."

Take that spin for what you will, but we're of a mind with David Poland: Apart from drunken Sunday-afternoon pissing contests, what's really in this for the 'Mount? Showtime keeps the studio's library for a while still, leaving MGM and Lionsgate's libraries (along with upcoming, inconsistent Paramount product ranging from Iron Man to The Love Guru) the primary source of programming. (DreamWorks films are aligned separately with HBO.) As such, reports The New York Times, original programming may be in the cards when the new channel launches in late 2009. But why pay hundreds of millions to enter that fray when HBO and Showtime have spent years establishing the institutional upper hand?

Sometimes there is no explanation for this kind of stuff besides entertaining Emperor Redstone — and us. We could watch Brad Grey cannibalize Les Moonves all day. Nevertheless, somebody out there knows something the rest of us don't; maybe an original program is jumping ship? Moonves lost a poker bet with MGM chief Harry Sloan over the weekend? Your guesses are as good as ours.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

Studios team on VOD venture [Variety]

Tyra Banks And Ashton Kutcher Combine Deadly Reality Forces

Seth — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 15:17:57 EST

· If the concept of the two names Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher (Tyrashton?) melding into a single, reality-TV -producing force for ABC would drive you to incontinence with excitement, well, maybe you should take a bathroom break before reading this story. [THR]
· Quarterlife, the drama from the creators of thirtysomething that started as a pilot at ABC, then got resuscitated for MySpace, and finally was resurrected on NBC, tanked last night, posting a 1.6 rating/4 share. The series about "twentysomethings coming of age in the digital generation" was doomed to be outdated before it ever reached a wide audience, already replaced with far more timely takes on the same material, like ABC's mid-season replacement, Tumblr Road. [Variety]

· Les Moonves's "Suck It, Strikers—We Won!" Tour continues. The future galactic despot told investors yesterday that not only did it not affect CBS's financial bottom line, it actually helped, allowing them to slough off dead-weight development deals "in ways that will allow us to operate more efficiently going forward." [Variety]
· The Fireman's Fund Insurance Co. is offering "strike insurance" to any production currently covered under one of their policies, in anticipation of a possible SAG strike. Said Les Moonves, "We'll pass. A couple absent or dead actors could really push us into the black next quarter!" [Variety]
· Milkshake co-opting victim Paul Dano will star in and executive produce Gigantic, an offbeat romantic comedy from Killer Films. [THR]

Congratulations, Returning Writers

Nick Denton — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 17:34:54 EST

Leaders of the writers strike declared a "huge victory" over the suits when they won a larger share of revenues from internet video. Oh yes? One of those suits, Les Moonves of CBS, says the TV network learned during the stoppage that it didn't need nearly as many expensive scripts and pilots. Explaining healthy earnings, he says: "I think there's been a lot of wasted spending...You don't need to spend $5 million on a pilot." So let's get this straight: writers traded in the traditional pilot season, the audition for their boldest ideas, for a cut of non-existent internet revenues. But don't be too harsh in judging their business acumen: this is why they're writers.

McG's 'Terminator' Stakes A Spot In The Distant Future

Seth — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 15:09:34 EST

· Any plans for Memorial Day weekend 2009? Great! That means you can catch the opening of Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins, McG's utterly essential contribution to the futuristic-robot-killing-machine franchise that keeps on giving. [Variety]
· The WWE entered into a deal with Fox, giving the studio "a first-look deal" for any project starring one of their wrestlers, and first dibs on John Cena to voice an irascible musk ox in Ice Age: Boot Camp. [Variety]
· A three-month Chinese government ban on Hollywood product has ended, with a March release set for National Treasure: Book of Secrets and 10,000 B.C., after government censors screened both films to ensure they contained "no fingerprints of that lie-spreading Spielberg-devil." [Variety]

· Les Moonves told a group of Wall Street analysts that not only did the strike fail affect the CBS Corp.'s bottom line, it also allowed them to reexamine the whole development process, revealing pilots as "vastly overrated" tools that fail to provide necessary hits. Instead, the network is now looking at a completely revamped system, in which one character archetype, an unusual profession, and a genre are plucked out of three top hats. Dina Powers: Animal Control Investigator, a thrilling series from the creators of CSI that follows the exploits of a sassy single mom who's never encountered a rabid-possum mauling she couldn't get to the bottom of, is scheduled to premiere next fall. [THR]
· Crash: The TV Seriez, coming to a Starz channel near you, has chosen a showrunner in Glen Mazzara, who pledges to extend the car-crash-as-means-of-human-connection metaphor to such other significance-laden roadside mishaps as bicycle wheelies gone wrong, skateboarding casualties, and pedestrians accidentally brushing up against one another on crowded crosswalks. [THR]

Hollywood Hills Real Estate Listing Brings Us One Step Closer To Mt. Mogulmore

Seth — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 19:03:36 EST

With news that 138 acres of land just west of the H in the Hollywood sign have been put up for sale yesterday by Chicago investors, the last impediment to Mt. Mogulmore—Les Moonves's masterplan of constructing an enduring companion monument to the nine-letter icon—is but a mere $22 million check away.

Construction on the granite memorial jutting out of the 1,820-foot Cahuenga Peak (artist's rendering above) is to begin immediately, but it's projected it will take at least three years before the final chisels are made into Peter Chernin's nostrils, Bob Iger's hairline, and Moonves's sparkling, four-foot teeth by the migrant Asian quarry workers and moonlighting WGA members hired to complete the dangerous task. Upon completion, however, we'll have an enduring and highly visible (15 miles on a clear day!) reminder of the troika of great captains of Hollywood industry who ushered a Golden Era of peace into a strife-fraught zone.

Land above famed Hollywood sign up for sale [Reuters]
Previously: The Strike Is Over! Look Busy! [Defamer]

Last Negotiator Standing

Mark — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 21:10:59 EST

· Cobbling together various reports about what transpired between the WGA and the studios before negotiations were abruptly halted at the end of last week, the creators of Hollywood Rumble have produced this dramatic recreation of the unfortunate events of late Friday afternoon.
· You know who's not going broke even if the strike lasts until 2105? Les Moonves.
· Why are famous people so damn crazy? A crazy stylist-to-the-stars offers his exciting theories!
· Those too impatient to wait for Sweeney Todd's release can get a small measure of relief for their barber-blueballs here.
· You can't have The Office right now, but you can have An Office.

Angelina Jolie To Sex Up Boring Old Spy Story About Gun-Running And Terrorists

Mark — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 15:30:49 EST

· Paramount acquires the rights to the life of spy Kathi Lynn Austin, whose arms-trafficking and terrorism-related adventures could become "an action vehicle" for Angelina Jolie that will ultimately bear little to no resemblance to the intelligence operative's real life. [Variety]
· To help CBS survive the strike/break the wills of writers, Les Moonves plans to repurpose edited versions of Showtime series like Dexter for use on his content-starved broadcast network, though it's unclear whether this idea will include a fucking-lite version of Californication. [THR]
· Publicists love Judd Apatow! He'll be named 2007's "outstanding film showman" at the 45th annual Flackies. [Variety]

· Grateful that NBC is bringing back their The Apprentice for another marginally rated, but still lucrative, season, Donald Trump and producer Mark Burnett are giving the network a cut of the product-whoring fees derived from the show's many brand-promoting challenges. [THR]
· Edward Norton will play identical twins ("one an Ivy League classics professo rand the other a hedonistic pot-smoking career criminal," naturally) in Tim Blake Nelson's comedy thriller Leaves of Grass. [Variety]

We've just obtainted the new draft of the...

Mark — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 14:58:24 EDT

We've just obtainted the new draft of the planned Les Moonves ad to be published in tomorrow's trades: "Hey, writers—You know what? Fuck you. I'll cancel my disappointing Fall season myself, bit by bit. Goodbye, Viva Laughlin! By the time you go on strike, there won't be anything left for you to walk out on. Love, Les. PS—Tell Patric Verrone to check his mailbox. The ear in that bloody wad of Kleenex is Hugh Jackman's. Just wait until he gets four of Jimmy Smits' favorite toes on Wednesday morning when I sacrifice Cane to the cause." [Var]

Today In Saber Rattling: TV Execs Secretly Hoping Writers Will Wipe Out Their Crappy Fall Schedules

Mark — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 13:24:50 EDT

Early Friday evening, the WGA announced that it had received strike authorization from 90.3 percent of its voting members, a victory the organization's leadership touted as an "historic demonstration of unity." What the Guild might not realize, however, is that when it returns to the negotiating table today, emboldened by the ability to take to the streets with the best-written picket signs in the history of labor strife, any renewed threats of a potential walkout on November 1 could be playing right into the hands of an evil cadre of media moguls excited by the prospect of having their fall TV programming mistakes wiped out by a work stoppage.

Deadline Hollywood Daily's Nikki Finke separates the studio and network power brokers into two factions: Hawks (those hellbent on bathing in the blood of vanquished writers as all of Hollywood burns like the desiccated hills of Malibu; maniacal cackling optional) and Conservatives (those marginally less enthused by the prospect of daily blood-showers during a potential strike):

Hawks: Peter Chernin (News Corp/Fox), Bob Iger (Walt Disney/ABC), Barry Meyer (Warner Bros), Jeff Zucker (NBC Universal), Michael Lynton (Sony Pictures Entertainment).
Conservatives: Les Moonves (CBS), Ron Meyer (Universal), Brad Grey (Paramount), Amy Pascal (Sony Pictures Entertainment), Harry Sloan (MGM, which also reps United Artists in this), Jeffrey Katzenberg (DreamWorks Animation, and the most moderate of the bunch). [...]

As for Chernin, Iger, Barry Meyer, Moonves, and also Zucker, they actually welcome a strike because they believe the 2007/2008 TV season is dead on arrival anyway. So many new shows are tanking in the ratings and/or going over budget and/or having production problems (Fox's Back To You, Nashville, K-VILLE; CBS' Kid Nation, Cane and Viva Laughlin; NBC's Journeyman, Life and Bionic Woman; ABC's Cavemen, Big Shots, Dirty Sexy Money, and Pushing Daisies.) Even returning hit shows are losing their Nielsen luster (NBC's Heroes, ABC's Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy, CBS' CSI:Miami and Cold Case) that they feel this is as as good a time for a strike as any. As one mogul told me, "We can get rid of the overhead and regroup and rethink everything. If we were having a great year, it might be different. But we're not, and this is like an automatic do-over."

These behind-the-scenes threats seem to indicate just how profoundly hurt the studios were by the WGA's refusal to throw the AMPTP a party to show their gratitude for abandoning their insane residual-readjustment proposal last week; should the Guild not make amends at today's renewed bargaining sessions, look for a frustrated Les Moonves to take out his own ad in Variety tomorrow reading, "Hey, Writers— Go ahead, wipe out my Fall schedule. You think I want any more episodes of Viva Laughlin? It'll save me a messy phonecall to Hugh Jackman. No one likes to hear a grown man cry. So make my fucking day. PS—My colleague Steve McPherson feels the same way about Cavemen. "

Hollywood Moguls Sounding Strike Happy And See New TV Season As Dead Already [DHD]

Future galactic dictator Les Moonves, having...

Mark — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 18:26:12 EDT

Future galactic dictator Les Moonves, having once again tricked antediluvian corporate overlord Sumner Redstone into believing that his plans of world domination will not include the kind of clumsy assassination attempts being plotted by his traitorous daughter, has earned a new contract that will keep him atop CBS Corp through at least 2011. So convincing was the wily Moonves in renewing his pledge of fealty that Redstone willingly handed over the key that opens the chest housing the enchanted dagger imbued with the power to end his immortal life, telling his trusty lieutenant to make sure it never falls into the hands of his scheming, murderous offspring. [THR]

Bob Barker: Not So Fast With The O'Donnell Stuff

Mark — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 20:29:40 EDT

Backtracking from recent remarks that have been construed in the media as an endorsement of Rosie O'Donnell's candidacy to replace him on the The Price Is Right, retiring emcee Bob Barker today clarified what he meant when he said he had "no doubt" O'Donnell would make a good host, telling the AP, "I have not been asked for my opinion, nor have I expressed one. I think there are several candidates who could do the show, and Rosie is certainly one of them." (To his credit, the discreet Barker made no reference to a heated, closed-door meeting with Les Moonves earlier today in which the CBS Corp. head promised "to sew the balls back on every neutered dog and cat in town [himself] if [Barker] said another word about handing over the show to that [woman of below-average attractiveness].") O'Donnell has yet to publicly comment on this seeming blow to her chances of landing the job, but Defamer has exclusively obtained the ad she is placing-in tomorrow's Variety to address onetime idol Barker's unexpected withdrawal of support, one that echoes her earlier attempt at currying favor with the gameshow legend:

Barker: Remarks not a Rosie endorsement [Yahoo News]
Previously: Bob Barker's Rosie O'Donnell Endorsement Indicates He's Further Gone Than We Realized [Defamer]

Getting To Know New NBC 'Rock Star' Ben Silverman

Mark — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 21:22:58 EDT

TVWeek corralled just-installed NBC Entertainment co-chair Ben Silverman (pictured above enjoying himself in the general vicinity of soon-to-be sworn enemy Les Moonves of CBS) for a "getting to know you" chat, in which the recently anointed New Peacock Messiah reveals that while he has managed to chug the company's "Choke on Our Quality" Kool-Aid, his acceptance of the gig progressed so quickly that he hasn't yet had time to take care of certain details unimportant to taking the job, like watching all of the network's Fall pick-ups. Reports TV Week:

TelevisionWeek: What are your goals for NBC?
Ben Silverman: To continue the great legacy of NBC and its unbelievable quality of programming. To be the No. 1 network. To be the absolute biggest and best brand in broadcast television. And more important, to be the most lucrative network. [...]

TVWeek: What's your take on the pilots and fall schedule?
Mr. Silverman: I have not seen all the pilots yet. I thought Zach Levi, the star of "Chuck," was phenomenal and really fun, and that show had the kind of environment I want to be in. I always loved "The Bionic Woman" growing up and eagerly await seeing her powers come to fruition, but have not watched it yet. And I'm excited to see "Journeyman," which I hear is phenomenal from everyone I know who has seen it. I'm sure we're going to get some hits out of them.

Now installed in his new position, Silverman should have some time to breathe and catch up on his pilot-watching to see if Bionic Woman actually feels like a hit, and, in the interest of properly instilling the culture of "peace, love, and understanding" discussed in the interview, finally get someone to clean the blood of freshly slaughtered predecessor Kevin Reilly from his office walls. There's nothing like the lingering stench of a recent
execution to stifle an otherwise aspirational, positive atmosphere.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Silverman Setting New NBC Agenda [TV Week]

'Idol' Finale Averages A Disappointing 30.4 Million Viewers

Mark — Thu, 24 May 2007 16:09:39 EDT

· While the two-hour American Idol finale-clusterfuck dominates the ratings, it was down about 20 percent from last year's season-ender. Might this have been God's way of punishing Fox for allowing the ludicrously drawn-out show to stretch nine minutes over its allotted running time, fucking over DVR owners who didn't think to also record the local news if they actually wanted to see who won? Are we bitter? Nah, not much. [Variety]
· Just in case you missed the make-up announcement late yesterday afternoon, Alec Baldwin and CAA are back together. Always fucking or fighting, those two! [THR]
· CBS Corp. head Les Moonves is named MIPCOM "Personality of the Year." In an unrelated story, the family of the trade show's president, who had mysteriously gone missing at the beginning of Personality of the Year voting, was returned to safety shortly after the announcement. [Variety]
· Mary-Kate Olsen returns to TV (we know what you're thinking, but nope, no Ashley this time—free at last!) in a recurring role on Showtime's Weeds, in which she'll play a troubled customer whose eating disorder is so severe she can't even eat Mary Louise Parker's delicious pot brownies without purging. [THR]
· Warner Bros. acquries the rights to children's fantasy book Skulduggery Pleasant, hoping their possible movie franchise will turn out more Harry Potter than Lemony Snicket. [Variety]

'Jericho' Fans Call Down Plague Of Peanuts Upon CBS Tormentors

Seth — Tue, 22 May 2007 18:14:04 EDT

Fans hoping to revive a cancelled TV series have been relying on increasingly flashy techniques in the hopes of registering on the radars of busy network heads, whose various galactic overlord duties may have rendered them tragically out of touch with the tastes of the common man. Arrested Development addicts pelted Fox execs with foam banana balls. Invasion lovers (yes, they existed) drowned ABC in bottled water. But devotees of the mushroom-clouds- on-Main-St. drama Jericho have decided to go the bulk snack route, inviting fellow grassroots supporters to send roasted peanuts to CBS's offices:

NUTS! Save Jericho! Jericho fans unite! In addition to sending individual orders to CBS programming executives, as a Jericho fan you can now contribute money to massive shipments of nuts. NutsOnline will do our part by pooling monies and supplying nuts at a steep discount! At the end of each day we will tally dollars collected and ship out huge quantities of roasted peanuts in the shell! [...]

Why nuts? In the final episode Jake Green (Skeet Ulrich) borrowed the historic phrase "NUTS" in response to a final offer of surrender from a hostile neighboring town. CBS decided to cancel the show, and fans are uprising to save Jericho by sending, you got it, NUTS to CBS executives.

For those of you who would like to see the show return to CBS's slate in place of newer, sure-to-tank offerings like Dracula P.I., and yet are having a hard time connecting with a campaign built around Ulrich's quoting of a famous WWII kiss-off phrase, we direct you to a satellite campaign: Deaf blogger Banjo's World has written a heartfelt template letter to CBS, extolling Jericho's virtues—in particular its incorporation of a deaf character. Sure, it may not have the salty pizzazz of a forklift palate of roasted peanuts, but we think they'll get the point just the same.

NUTS for Jericho [nutsonline.com]
Save Jericho: The Letter-Writing Campaign [Banjo's World]

CBS Puts Vampires, Swingers, Exciting Social Experiments Involving Schoolchildren On The Fall Schedule

Mark — Wed, 16 May 2007 12:25:26 EDT

By this third morning of the upfronts, you are probably exhausted by the constant barrage of stories about new television shows you probably won't have the time or desire to watch. (NBC really nailed it: Who has time for new? Give us more of what we already like! Fill us up with your quality, Peacock!) Still, CBS will take its turn before their advertisers today, unveiling a schedule aimed at convincing the money people that their network is ready to move beyond just mindless sitcoms and syndication-friendly procedural dramas and take a (well-calculated, not too scary) risk or two: that's right, the Eye is going (mildly) edgy! On the Fall schedule:

· Cane: Jimmy Smits! Playing Cuban!
· Moonlight: Vampires!
· Swingtown: Wife-swapping in the 70s! (Read: sex!)
· Viva Laughlin: A casino! Hugh Jackman cameos! The occasional musical number!

As pulse-quickening as we find both swingers and Hugh Jackman, the highlight of the new Fall slate is clearly Wednesday night's Kid Nation (from the producers of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition), a supersecret project that CBS will unleash on the world later today, in which (according to TV Week) 40 "overachieving kids" of ages 8 to 15 are thrown together in a New Mexico ghost town and tasked with creating a functioning society with an economy, laws, and elected leaders. Finally: Lord of the Flies comes to primetime! We can't wait to hear about advertisers' reactions to this afternoon's upfront clip of the inevitable breakout hit, spotlighting the emotionally devastating moment when Piggy is "accidentally" crushed by a boulder. Never let it be said that Les Moonves doesn't know how to create appointment TV.

The entire Fall schedule follows: [via THR]

Mondays
8 pm - "How I Met Your Mother"
8:30 p.m. - "The Big Bang Theory" (new)
9 p.m. - "Two and a Half Men"
9:30 p.m. - "Rules of Engagement"
10 p.m. - "CSI: Miami"

Tuesdays
8 p.m. - "NCIS"
9 p.m. - "The Unit"
10 p.m. - "Cane" (new)

Wednesdays
8 p.m. - "Kid Nation" (new)
9 p.m. - "Criminal Minds"
10 p.m. - "CSI: NY"

Thursdays
8 p.m. - "Survivor: China"
9 p.m. - "CSI"
10 p.m. - "Without a Trace"

Fridays
8 p.m. - "Ghost Whisperer"
9 p.m. - "Moonlight" (new)
10 p.m. - "Numb3rs"

Saturdays
8 p.m. - "Crimetime Saturday"
9 p.m. - "Crimetime Saturday"
10 p.m. - "48 Hours Mystery"

Sundays
7 p.m. - "60 Minutes"
8 p.m. - "Viva Laughlin" (new)
9 p.m. - "Cold Case"
10 p.m. - "Shark"

CBS fall sked includes five series freshmen [THR]
CBS Picks Up 'Kid Nation' Reality Show [TV Week]