HOLY SHIT. This is a sentence: "The also-untitled Chilli project will follow the singer as she enlists the help of relationships expert Tionna Smalls to find love." Like, our old friend Tionna Smalls? Holy shit. Oh, that's about a new VH1 reality show with the TLC chick Chilli. There's another show about Pepa Denton, from Salt 'n Pepa. Man, the world is reeling right now. In a good way. [Variety]

Oh God. Amy Adams has joined the cast of that Mark Wahlberg/Christian Bale boxing picture directed by Darren Aronofsky, The Fighter. She'll play "Charlene, a tough, gritty bartender and former college high-jumper from Massachusetts". And you know what that means, folks? Another bad, strained Boston accent. Adams is a great actress but "tough" and "gritty" she is nawt. Did anyone see What Doesn't Kill You? Holy hell, that thing was a maudlin disaster. Amanda Peet had a decent accent though. But what's with the Boston fetishism? I'm all for movies made in my beloved hometown, but "Charlene, a tough, gritty bartender"? Well, she'd better look like Beverly D'Angelo on a bad day and be cranking Newport butts 'cause otherwise, I won't believe it. [THR]

Speaking of faux grit, Mariska Hargimammy and Chris Meloni have signed on for more work as detectives Rapey and McLoosecannon on Law & Order: SVU. They'll stick around for at least two more seasons, making about $400,000 a week. Christine Lahti is going to guest for a few episodes, which is great, and Stephanie March will be back for ten episodes, which is also great. I really like this show, even though it is ridiculous and those paychecks listed above make me want to claw my eyes out. The world is off kilter my friends. [Variety]

Oh no! Unstoppable, that movie about a runaway train headed towards chemicals, might be derailed. Or stopped! Or any of the other wordplay things you can do! Chemicals! Denzel Wershington and Christina Pine were to star and Tony Scott was to shake a camera around and confuse everyone direct, but now budgetary concerns are halting its progress. See, star-driven stuff like Tony and Denzel's The Taking of Weird Numbers Train, also about a train, didn't do well. Mostly it's because no one likes John Travolta anymore, but Denzel will still get blamed. This is a tragedy for these multi, multi, multimillionaires. [THR]

Aw, Chris Kattan has something to do now. The rubber-faced Saturday Night Live actor will costar in a new series called The Middle, a single-cam ABC show about a Midwestern car saleswoman, played by Patricia Heaton. It will be a fun two episodes before it gets canceled. [THR]

Eight and a half million people watched something called Princess Protection Program on the Disney Channel on Friday. Sadly, and inexplicably, I was not one of them. Seriously, Richard? You didn't even know this was on? Even though Selena Gomez, whom you hate, was in it, and you have seen A Cinderella Story 2? Disaster. I'm losing it in my old age. [Variety]

Oh, terrific. Dimension is planning a remake of An American Werewolf in London, because of TwinkyTwinkleLight probably. Let's just hope that Tom Everett Scott stays far, far away from this one. [THR]

Two of our mousiest quality-TV stars, Rose Byrne of Damages and Elisabeth Moss of Mad Men, have joined the cast of the Jonah Hill/Russell Brand comedy Get Him to the Greek. They'll play a pop star and Hill's girlfriend, respectively. Also joining the cast is Sean "Puffy-P Diddy Daddy" Combs, who will stretch his range to play a record company executive. [Variety] And lucky they all are to get those jobs, as everyone else in Hollywood is struggling to find work. From big time movie directors down to lowly waiters. Yes, the recession has finally killed joy. [Variety]

Remember when Elisabeth Shue played herself as a nurse who had quit acting in Hamlet 2? Yeah. Well, now she's signed on to star in Piranha 3D, a remake of the glorious 80's screamer about a small town sheriff (Shue!) trying to protect her beloved lake from tiny nibbling deadly fishes. I seem to remember there being a summer camp in the o.g. But don't worry, the guy who made The Hills Have Eyes remake (the one with mutant rape) will helm. [Variety] Breathe another sigh of relief! About rape! NBC's "hey look at that horrorshow of warmed-over human depravity" series Law & Order: SVU will be back for another season in the fall. Chris Meloni and Marisol Hargaminanny or whatever haven't signed on yet, but Ice-T is actually now just considered part of the set, so he'll definitely be there. And probably the bald dude too. And B.D. Wong! BeeeeDeeee!! And Tammy Tunes. All your favorites. Plus the raping. Lots of raping. [Variety]

Oh, theater people headed to TV. Playwright (and sometime L&O and NYPD Blue scribe) Theresa Rebeck is developing a project for HBO called Women's Studies, a series about a feminist type lady person who teaches at a small Northeast liberal arts fag college for fags and commies. Julie White will star if the crazy thing ever gets off the ground. [THR] Kristen Bell, who studied theater at NYU, has signed on to star in You Again, a comedy about a young woman who finds out that her brother is marrying the girl who tormented her in high school. Which is actually sort of a cute if gimmicky idea. Huh. [THR]

Today on The View, Belzer briefly confirmed that Hargitay did indeed suffer her injuries in a sledding accident. He pronounced the actress on the mend: "Mariska is doing great. She's absolutely OK. If you believe in it, say a prayer for her. If you don't, send her appealing thoughts...we love you, Mariska."

Previously: Defamer Exclusive: What's Behind Mariska Hargitay's Hospitalization?

We noticed yesterday night that the Golden Globe-nominated Hargitay didn't show up to the ceremony, and then this morning, our tipster told us that she'd been hospitalized with a collapsed lung while on vacation. Set scuttlebutt had it that the injury was incurred in a skiing accident where the actress collided with something, and that "her lung collapsed and they inflated it and then it collapsed again."

We checked hours ago with Hargitay's rep, Leslie Sloane Zelnick, who cagily denied there had been a skiing accident but refused to comment on allegations from our tipster that Hargitay was indeed hospitalized. Nice dodge, as TMZ is now reporting it was a sledding accident. According to our source, though, the actress is recuperating at the NYU Medical Center and may need surgery; meanwhile, shooting on SVU is being rearranged this week and cancelled for the next. Still, Zelnick insists to Access Hollywood that "she will appear in all episodes for the rest of the season of Law & Order: SVU."

Our best wishes to Hargitay. Developing...