We don't know what the hell it is, either, but we'll all learn together after the jump.

[S]tudy technology focuses on three principles. First is the use of "mass" (manipulatives and hands-on experiences) to foster understanding - children need to see and feel what they are learning about. Second is the attention to the "gradient," which ensures sure students master one level before moving on to the next. Third is the "misunderstood word," in which students master word definitions and are taught not to read past words they don't know the meanings of in order to understand completely what they are reading and learning. NVA uses study technology as an umbrella methodology woven through the subjects.

We presume that "umbrella methodology" is a euphemism for at least six of its faculty and staff having achieved various degrees of Scientology study — and would you expect anything less for your $12,500 per year? And does this mean Jaden and Willow won't be home-schooled any longer? Do they get free rides for their Dad's philanthropy? Would any teacher ever give them less than an A? Do they even get letter grades? Or just OT levels? Just how "open" is open house, anyway? So many questions!

• New Village Academy

If our clip left you salivating for more nutcases, don't fret. All 35 freaky minutes of the video can be found here. And there's no shortage of crazies: everyone from "watercolorists" to "country western singers" and "deep sea divers" wax on about how Hubbard's system of Dianetics and self-improvement therapies have allowed them to realize their dreams. Eerier still is the suspicious authenticity of these members, all dressed according to their respective careers a little too well. The difference between this video and those 4am infomercials for business-suit-wearing graduates of online GSD programs is practically nil.

• Scientology Orientation Video [Videosift.com]