MAYBE seeing themselves on the big screen was too much to take for "Sex and the City" stars Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis. Apparently, soon after the movie's release, they both paid a visit to Roosevelt Hospital on 10th Avenue for minor surgeries. "Cynthia had a breast augmentation and soon after, Kristin had the varicose veins on her legs removed," said an insider.

"They both made sure they did it on the quietest day of the week." It could explain why Davis always wears long hems. Nixon, whose rep denied the surgery, could have been disappointed with her topless scene. Davis' rep had no comment.

So what, we say! A small procedure can do wonders for one's outlook and self-esteem, and if we happen to spot Kim Cattrall emerging from a Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon's office, savoring a fresh lease of life as she struts down the street flaunting her new 38-DDDs, cat's whiskers, and bagel-sized lips, we plan on giving her the most bellowing, "You go, girl!" our diaphragm can muster.

• CELLULOID FLAWS [NY Post]

10:17am: I am stuck in traffic behind a broken down bus! This cabbie is an asshole. I might have to get out and run. [Ed note: The movie is supposed to start at 10:15]

10:37: Two cabs and one subway trip later. I'm finally here! It took me an hour to travel maybe three miles. I already hate this movie.

10:40: These are the shoes I chose to wear. Thank friggin god I didn't wear heels as a joke.

10:41: Big just proposed to Carrie. Kinda.
10:45: This theater is packed and everyone is laughing at the stupid jokes. Although Samantha told Carrie she should get Botox.

10:48: Carrie still has that stupid pink crystal-y phone. Except it's taped together which is a nice touch. She just asked Samantha to be her maid of honor.

10:49: All Charlotte does is scream.

10:50: LOL! Carrie's boss talked her into doing the bride at 40 piece by saying "Vogue airbrushing".

10:52: The wedding photo shoot scene. The Dior dress looks like frothy diarrhea. Vivienne Westwood personally sent Carrie a dress for free.

10:55: Haha. Carrie is becoming far-sighted but won't get glasses. Also Chris Noth: Fake tan much?
10:56: Carrie does research for her new book (about love) at the library.

10:59: Carrie won't tell her friends how often she and Big fuck!

11:02: Also, she calls him "John" now.

11:03: OMG, Big built Carrie a closet just like Mariah Carey's. It looks like a store.

11:04: Charlotte just screamed again. And again.

11:05: I'm cringing. They are trying on outfits to "Walk This Way".

11:07: The Miranda/Steve storyline is actually really good. He just admitted to cheating on her and the old lady in the wheelchair behind me just yelled "Hit him! Hit him!" I'm gonna try to get a picture of her.

11:14: Miranda is like a total bitch.

11:24: Big just jilted her! Because she wouldn't answer the phone in the morning. Seriously, all these people are such babies! who wants to put up with this bullshit? Now Charlotte is screaming at Big. Kristin Davis' throat must've been so sore.

11:28: "Okay so he didn't really jilt her. He freaked for a second, then turned around and went back but Carrie was already embarrassed and then she hit him. The whole thing could've been avoided. Kind of like this movie!

11:31: The reason why the honeymoon was in Mexico is because Carrie paid for it as a surprise.

11:32: Carrie is now in a deep depression in Mexico She's been sleeping and not eating. Speaking of, I'm gonna step out to the concession stand for some breakfast.

11:34: Hahahaha! They actually showed Miranda's thick bush.

11:43: Breakfast!

11:44: Somehow Carrie got her apartment back. I missed that when I was buying my breakfast.

11:47: I guess I also missed the part about how Carrie can afford Jennifer Hudson.

11:50: It really pisses me off that Carrie isn't computer literate. Her assistant does her email for her while she flips through magazines on her couch.

11:55: Carrie died her hair dark brown and changed her phone number and is complaining about having a different area code. [The Lifestyles Of The Rich And First World! -Ed.]

11:57: Samantha adopted a dog because its a girl who loves to hump and she felt a connection.

11:58: Jennifer Hudson deserves a Razzie for this. She sucks.

12:00 Oh! I forgot to mention that Charlotte shit her pants in Mexico. Literally.

12:02: Carrie bought her assistant a Louis Vuitton bag for Christmas. Carrie is a retard.

12:08: Okay, finally a Carrie outfit I like. Pajamas, boots, fur coat, stupid hat. That's what I call "walking the dog" attire.

12:10: This sad people on New Year's Eve montage is way too long.

12:16: Carrie finally realized that she is a self-obsessed narcissist! And that she uses "I" too much.

12:29: One therapy session and Miranda and Steve are back together. Also, Miranda is the only one to show her tits.

12:32: Samantha has gained like 5 lbs and everyone noticed. What bitches.

12:33: Samantha and Smith just had the most civilized breakup after 5 years.

12:35: I just checked carriebradshaw.com and she wrote a book called MENhattan? Barf.
12:37: Also, Charlotte's little girls are named Lily and Rose. Barf x2.
12:41: Interesting. Carrie always wears a bra to bed, but in this frantic city scene she is running through the streets without one.
12:46: People are actually crying in this theater because Big proposed a second time with a Manolo!

12:51: Last line: "And there they were, four friends who had met as girls and were now women ready to enter the next phase of their lives, dressed head to toe in love. And that's one label that never goes out of style." LOL.

This is the violent wheelchair lady.

This is the next showing lining up. So many mothers and daughters.

Yeah, I'm sure they share their sexual liberation together.

12:59: As I was walking out of the theater a middle aged woman working there asked me if the movie was any good and I made the "so-so" sign with my hand and then she goes, "Yeah, I figured. I never liked that show. I'm a Will & Grace fan myself."

As the Daily Mail reports, Cattrall's metallic dress started bunching up 'round her rear end, forcing Kim to cheekily dig out the material from in between her very toned ass, all the while winking. But Kim didn't stop surprising the crowd by allegedly telling reporters at a previous premiere that she "hopes we get to come back and make another." Which is very sweet, but judging from the NY Daily News' report from the scene, a repeat performance of the mob scene isn't something we'd like to see anytime soon:

"Organizers of the celeb-studded event overbooked the 6,000-seat theater, leaving bounced fans fuming. The angry crowd surged against police barricades, cursing and stomping their Manolo Blahniks."

Even Chris Noth, who's still clinging to that charming rep like a security blanket, blowing kisses to the furious crowd did little to numb the pain. As one fan said, "We waited in line 21/2 hours. I guess we'll go drink a Cosmo or five now." Which is quite possibly the saddest comment made by a woman we've ever heard.

And of course, there were the requisite horrendous fashion choices, notably made by Ashley Olsen in pants so oversized she could have comfortably fit both herself and MK inside, plus Jennifer Hudson's decision to shove approximately 95% of her breasts in photographers' faces and, unsurprisingly, legendary SATC wardrobe wench Pat Fields sporting what may be the most cringeworthy combination of purple and red hair dye we've seen to date. To be fair, dressing horribly is sort of her "thing," so we'll go ahead and forgive the kookiest of all kooky stylists.

[Photo credits: Wireimage, Getty, Splash]

• KIM CATTRALL ON THE 'SEX AND THE CITY' MOVIE: 'I HOPE WE GET TO MAKE ANOTHER' [Us]
• 'SEX AND THE CITY' PREMIERE TURNS UGLY [NYDN]

We must say, we are beyond impressed by Dave's tactic to swiftly and smoothly make sure he doesn't have to actually talk about Sex And The City: The Movie with one of its stars, who's just trying to get the word out already. It's as simple as convincing Kristin that she's probably sick of talking about this film, and people are probably sick of hearing about it, and he's sick of having to come up with new jokes about it, so sick in fact that he's resorted to just simply calling it "shitty," and why don't they engage in some environmentally-friendly chatter about her boring solar-powered house? Which is actually more interesting than the (shocking!) fact that (no!) the movie will take place (don't tell me!) four years after the show left off. Yes, even hearing, twice, that Davis' eco house is "off the grid" is still, sadly, much more fascinating.

• THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN [CBS]

As we learned last week, Carrie makes her Big Wedding announcement all shyly to her harem over fancy brunch, and now we learn that Big not only agrees to marry her, he will also buy her a Manhattan castle in the sky. What she'll do there all day, and why she would possibly require the aid of an assistant, still isn't clear. Though we suspect it will involve a whole lot of self-conscious, self-referential, self-revelatory self-obsession. Of note: Kim Cattrall is suspiciously absent from all three leaked clips thus far. Is this yet another of Sarah Jessica Parker's passive aggressive attacks on her allegedly troublesome co-star? Or does she die a very Scream-like death in the first few minutes? We can only hope.

• 'SEX AND THE CITY' MOVIE CLIPS HIT THE WEB [Us]

What is it about London that makes otherwise prim actresses turn into girls gone wild? At last night’s premiere of SATC: The Movie across the pond, sex book author and Police Academy alum Kim Cattrall decided to do away with those pesky accessories we’re all (aside from Britney) forced to wear in public: her shoes. The good news? As Cameron Diaz proved at the premiere of Charlie’s Angels, walking the red carpet barefoot attracts some great press. The bad? Cattrall’s shoe-less night on the town revealed the most frightening pair of tootsies we’ve seen in recent memory, and Kim’s reported late-night behavior was eerily reminiscent of the night Renee Zellweger painted London red last month.

After prancing properly down the red carpet in a pair of sky-high Gucci heels, Kim initially headed to the premiere's after-party in a less painful pair of gold sandals. But after reportedly staying at the fête longer than any of her co-stars, she exited Renee-style sans any shoes at all. And despite a remarkably flawless pedicure, this close-up reveals some severe skeletons in her closet: a case of zombie feet that remind us of Paris Hilton's infamous "sinewy" size 11s. Enterprising young plastic surgeons take note: while freaky feet can strike at any age, there isn't any medical technology available today that can cure this problem. Do something about it and you just might turn out to be a rich, rich person. We can think of at least two clients who'll be pounding down your door.

[Photo credits: Getty, FilmMagic]

• FIFTYSOMETHING SEX AND THE CITY STAR KIM CATTRALL KICKS OFF HER DESIGNER SHOES...AND GOES BAREFOOT IN THE CITY [Daily Mail]

"I did want an emotional roller-coaster but...Kill Mr. Big? I would have been chased around the planet by women with torches. It's a summer movie. Why would I want to kill anyone?"

Sarah Jessica Parker/Carrie Bradshaw: Not a chance. King claims women would chase him down with torches if Big bit it, but should the show's narrator and guiding light pass on after taking a cab that oh-so-glamorously crashes into Barneys or falls victim to a cocktail poisoned by some envious Vogue staffer, enraged SATC fans would hunt down King not with torches, but things like guns and machetes.

Cynthia Nixon/Miranda Hobbes: Nah. For one thing, Nixon recently revealed the fact that she went through a cancer scare back in 2004, so killing off Nixon's most famous role to date would just be plain cruel.

Kristin Davis/Charlotte York Goldenblatt: We've already heard she magically gets pregnant against all odds, and dying after giving birth could be seen as some kind of tragic but ironic plot twist. Fans have suffered through season after season hearing about Charlotte's baby-making anxiety, so the joy they'd feel knowing Char finally reached her stereotypically feminine life goal might nullify the sadness felt should she not pull through.

Kim Cattrall/Samantha Jones: If one of the four girls is really the killed-off character in question, we'd safely place our bets on Sam for two reasons: her character was diagnosed with cancer during the last season and though we were assured she eventually beat it, that's one disease with a temper, sadly capable of returning. Secondly, Samantha is the most controversial of the four; some fans love her for behaving like a man in a woman's body and boldly suggesting sleeping with every man in Manhattan is an example of feminists' success. But others just think she's a slutty bitch.

What we really think? It's Steve's mom. She's old, demented, eats garbage and despite being played by the worshipped and adored Anne Meara, it's just her character's time. Plus, Meara's take on the role is delightfully hateful: a beer-swilling, old-fashioned crazy kook whose voice makes us cringe.

• 'SEX AND THE CITY' DIRECTOR ADDRESSES DEATH RUMOR [CNN]

As SJP remarked today, and has alluded to more times than we care to remember, her marriage to awkward sex scene partner Matthew Broderick isn't all that peachy keen: "I'm sure there are many times he wishes he wasn't with me...Sometimes I'm better at it, sometimes I'm really bad at it. There are things about it I like and I want it to work." Well! There are things she likes about it, which is just great. Maybe once in a while he gives in and succumbs to her repeated requests to revisit their shared Broadway past and participate in an off-tune duet from her breakout role in Annie or something? Hey, it's something.

As for Kim, well, she's really scraping the barrel by piping in with yet another quote or two regarding those age-old tales suggesting she was stalling the movie's production and being an all-around diva: "If you're spending 18 hours a day at work, the last thing you want to do is go and have a drink with the people who you just [spent the day with]. You just need to get away." Which, ironically, is how we're starting to feel about the upcoming flick. Having spent month after month hearing all this bitching and moaning from all four stars, do we really want to go and spend money to spend two hours straight with them? We might just need to get away, too.

• SARAH JESSICA PARKER TALKS ABOUT MARITAL ISSUES [Dotspotter]
• KIM CATTRALL SPEAKS OUT ABOUT 'SEX & THE CITY' HULLABALOO [Starpulse]

1) Where's The Classic Foursome Shot?: Yes, SJP is the star (and one of the EPs) of the series. But to feature only her on the poster is not only a slap in the face to her co-stars, each of whom are reduced to credits only, but confirms those rumors that SJP "demanded" that only she be the face of the poster. So congrats, Sarah Jessica. We get it. Kudos. You just didn't have to (literally) shove that fact in our face, k?

2) The Font's Angle Wouldn't Give Us A Headache...If We Were Stoned: How edgy! The credits, the title, and even SJP's stance is all wonkily crooked to the point where any effort we might have taken to read the small script would require tilting our heads to the side and squinting. Which really isn't fun at all. What's the point? New York is like, wild? Something more profound, like the girls are teetering on the edge of adulthood (a stage we're pretty sure we reached by Season Two)?

3) Pat Fields Has Officially Reached The Height Of Tackiness: From time to time, SATC costume designer and notoriously eccentric stylist Pat Fields has come through with a killer ensemble for the leading ladies. Sure, no "normal" girl could pull them off, but cinematically, they worked. And yet. We don't care if that blue smock is made of the purest crushed blue sapphires sourced straight from Burma; all we see is a shaggy shapeless rug. And don't get us started on the black fishnets. Really? No, really?

[Photo credit: WB/New Line via Firstshowing.net]

• EXCLUSIVE: FINAL 'SEX AND THE CITY: THE MOVIE' POSTER [FinalShowing.net]

1) The Big/Carrie Engagement and Charlotte Pregnancy Rumors Are True: Whether or not the wedding scene featuring a psychotic peacock hair piece and Bride of Frankenstein dress is only part of a dream sequence, sources tell the Post that Carrie does in fact get engaged to Big. And despite adopting a trendy Asian baby, Charlotte does manage to get knocked up once and for all. Even more interesting in the realm of plotlines, Miranda and Steve's blissful Brooklyn marriage hits the skids over claims of infidelity. Which makes sense in a My Wife Likes Girls kind of way, we hope.

2) There Will Be Stunt Cameos Galore: New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg may have given up on that whole Presidency thing, but he hasn't thrown in the acting towel. The billionaire mayor is only one of several New York-y cameos, including some by co-star Jennifer Hudson's Oscar night ruiner Andre Leon Talley of Vogue, and the indecipherable fashion world darling, photographer Patrick Demarchelier. And though we're sure their on-screen presence is big and beautiful, we find it hard to believe that stiletto-wearing fans in the Bible Belt will know who the hell they are.

3) You Will Not Be Able To Afford A Single Thing You See: Longtime followers of the girls' diamond-decorated lives have always been frustrated by Carrie's ability to don designer gowns and afford spacious apartments on the Upper East Side on a freelance writer's salary, and the girls' lifestyles are even more mythical in the movie. We're talking YSL gowns, beach houses in LA, and the fact that "every day the girls wore real jewels estimated at $2.5 million." Who knew putting out a book of old newspaper columns could rack in the dough? Think we could finally buy up Barney's by scraping together a few blog posts on Scientology and bikini pictures? We're looking into it.

[Photo credit: Wireimage]

• IT'S BIG [NY Post]

1. Embarrassing As It May Be, We're SATC Obsessives: Before you start with the eye-rolling and the Old Maid stereotypes about Sex devotees, consider this: during a scandal like this, you need a few of us around. We've admittedly seen every episode, meaning we've memorized all four girls' aging faces. Davis, with her ever-perfect arched eyebrows, skin as smooth and shiny as porcelain, and nose just ski-slopey enough to pass for "perky," either has an identical twin sister, or put all those unique features to work in her X-rated debut.

2. Kristin Davis Has Been Single For Decades: SJP is long-married with the cutest son in the world to boot, Cynthia Nixon has that whole lesbian crowd to knit with, and Kim Cattrall can milk the slutty Sam Jones facade until she's all shriveled up. But Kristin? Aside from a fling with Alec Baldwin, the 43-year old is still living a life of singlehood, just like her small-screen counterpart Charlotte always feared. With hopes dashed, a hunky long-schlonged wannabe actor might find it easy to convince Davis to join him in a taped sex session. His dick gets famous, and Davis proves she's not an old shrew.

3. Hello? SATC: The Movie Is Coming Out In Two Months!: Like Paris Hilton before her, Davis has been in Hollywood long enough to know how well sex tape scandals can do for business.

You be the judge: do you really think these spitting images of Davis' are the real thing? Or is she the victim of what the Germans like to call a doppelgänger?

[Photo Credits: Scott Fayner, The Blemish]

• SCOTTFAYNER.COM EXCLUSIVE [Scott Fayner]
• KRISTIN DAVIS MIGHT HAVE A SEX TAPE [The Blemish]
• DAVIS DENIES SEX TAPE CLIP IS HER [AOL]